“You sure you’re okay?” I ask, rubbing my chin into her hair.
She covers my hands on her stomach with hers and leans back, tilting her head to catch the concern I know must be in my eyes.
“Jared, I told you I’m fine.”
She smiles, and that dimple dents her cheek. My heart pinches. I knew in college there was something about this woman that would captivate me forever if I let it. If I let her. Turns out there was no letting. I had no choice in the matter. Even shoving it to the back of my mind for years did no good. As soon as I was in Banner’s orbit again, I was hers. And she was mine, even though I had to take her from Zo.
Collateral damage.
God knows Zo has been through enough and deserves some good. Hearing that he and Graciela are having a baby, I’m happy for them. And I was happy for Gus and Iris. Of course, I am. I’m gonna be an uncle again. But I want to make sure my girl is processing it all well.
She pulls away, and I hate leaving her body. I spot a box of Kleenex on the edge of the desk and grab a handful.
“Hey.” I pull her around to face me, and holding her gaze with mine, reach under her dress between her legs and wipe at the wetness leaking down the inside of her thighs before pulling her thong back in place. Her lashes flutter and she looks up at me, fresh desire in her eyes. She’s as easily turned on as I am.
Hallelujah.
“When we get home,” I say, leaning to toss the Kleenex in the trash before pulling her dress up to cover those glorious breasts. “I’m fucking you again.”
“You took the words right out of my mouth, Foster,” she says, her laugh low and naughty.
“You just worry about what I’m putting in your mouth before the night is over.”
“Blowing in the New Year.” She smiles and licks her lips. “I like it.”
We’re sliding the last fallen books back in place when, through the library window, a few preliminary fireworks flash like a fire-flung kaleidoscope over the iconic Hollywood hills. Seconds later the countdown begins, faint and drifting from the party down the hall.
Ten. Nine.
“It’s almost midnight,” Banner says, anticipation widening her smile.
Eight. Seven.
“Yup.” I turn her back into the shelf and cage her with my elbows on either side of her shoulders. “Trapping you in here was part of my evil plan to kiss you at midnight with no one watching.”
Six. Five.
She laughs, eyes bright and a flush of excitement on her cheeks.
“Well, it worked,” she says.
Four. Three.
I cup her face and lower my head, savoring the last few seconds of the year we’re leaving behind and the one that’s ahead with the only woman I adore.
“Jared, I have something to tell you,” she whispers over my lips.
Two.
“I’m pregnant.”
One.
She tips up and takes my mouth with hers, kissing me deeply as her words penetrate my consciousness. On instinct, I kiss her back, loving the feel of her, the intimacy of her touch, even while my lips go numb with the shock of what I think she said.
I force myself to break our kiss.
“Ban, what’d you say? I thought you said you’re—”
“Pregnant,” she repeats softly, a wide smile stretching the same-size lips I’ve never been able to resist. “You know my period is kind of sporadic because of the PCOS, so my cycle isn’t my best gauge, but I was a little late and decided to take the test. I was bracing myself to be disappointed, but I wasn’t. I’m pregnant.”
She actually giggles. My Banner, who never giggles, is giddy.
“Maybe that’s why I’ve been so emotional,” she goes on, the words tripping from her lips in a rush. “I hope it passes. I can’t go through nine months like that.”
Shock paralyzes me for a full five seconds before something else floods every cell of my body. I have no idea what to name this emotion. I’ve never felt anything like it. It’s akin to the love I have for Banner, but doubled, tripled, multiplied. Exponential.
“Are you . . .” Her smile dims. Her arms drop from my neck and she swallows, her eyes never leaving my face. “You’re not . . . are you not happy?”
She slides along the shelf and away from me, and the rush of cool air her absence brings jolts me out of this mute state of idiocy.
“God, yes, Ban.” I snatch her back and wrap my arms all the way around her and lift until her feet leave the floor.
“Jared!” she screeches. “Put me down. I’m too heavy.”
“No, you’re not.” I shift my arms under her ass, and she rests her elbows on my shoulders, presses her forehead to mine. “I’m gonna be better, Ban. I promise.”
“What?” She draws back just enough to glance down at me. “Better than what?”
“A better man.” I swallow the knot of emotion burning my throat. “I can be better. For our baby, I’ll try to . . .”
Shit, I don’t even know where to start. My dad was an amazing father. And August fell right into raising Sarai like it was a bike he’d ridden a thousand times, and he was just climbing back on. He’ll be perfect for the second baby, too. And Zo’s kid hit the lottery having a patron saint for a father. But my poor kid? Who the hell all knows what I’ll do? How I’ll screw it up.
Banner slides down my body until she’s back on her feet. She reaches up, taking my face between her hands and forcing my eyes to meet hers.
“There’s no one else I want to do this with, Foster,” she says, eyes glassed with tears. “Our little girl is gonna be so badass.”
A chuckle rumbles in my chest at her words, even though I’m still not sure I can do this shit.
“And our little boy will—”
“Wait,” I cut in, my heart slamming into my ribs. “A girl and a boy? Are there like . . . two of them?”
Banner’s laugh bounces off the library walls, and her body shakes against mine.
“You’re an idiot.” She smiles up at me and shakes her head. “I have no idea if there’s one, two, three—‘”
“Shit, Ban.” I draw a deep breath and exhale heavily. “Just stop with multiples. I’m still wrapping my head around one.”
“But you’re happy?” Hesitation reins the excitement in her eyes. “I mean about the baby?”
I’m screwing this up already. I’m one scared son of a bitch. I have no idea if I can do this. Parents nurture. The closest I’ve ever come to nurturing anything is building a baller’s career. I don’t coddle or hand-hold.
But I’m honest. Ruthless, yes, but honest with it.
And I do believe in hard work.
And I know I have the capacity to love because I love Banner and my family, my closest friends.
Those seem like things I could pass on; things I could instill in a kid. Maybe I could start there.
“Happy doesn’t even begin to describe it,” I finally answer. “You’re the only woman crazy enough to marry me, and I guess you’re the only one crazy enough to let me father her kid.”
We laugh together for a second, but looking at her, seeing the fireworks splash color through the library window across her face, I’m humbled to have another year with her. A new year. A new chapter of life with a woman I never thought I’d deserve.
“I love you, Ban.” I shift my hands from her hips to the plane of her stomach. “And I already love our baby.”
My words chase all hesitation from her eyes, from her expression, and that feeling that surged through me when she declared the news at the stroke of midnight, it’s mirrored in the look she gives me. And I have a name for it now.
It’s joy.
Curious about Iris & August?
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Also by Kennedy Ryan
THE HOOPS SERIES
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She was his friend's widow,
the one he’d always wanted ...
For the last two years Miko Riley has mourned her husband, a famous, bestselling novelist. While grieving, she put her heart and libido on ice, but she's finally thawing. And who better to bring the heat than Adam Stone, the editor who secretly harbored feelings for Miko, but missed his shot years ago?
They've always been careful to ignore the connection, the attraction that flared between them. Now that they're both hot, hungry and single, careful is the last thing they want to be. They'd rather get burned.
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About the Author
A Top 30 Amazon Bestseller, Kennedy Ryan writes for women from all walks of life, empowering them and placing them firmly at the center of each story and in charge of their own destinies. Her heroes respect, cherish and lose their minds for the women who capture their hearts.
She is a wife to her lifetime lover and mother to an extraordinary son. She has always leveraged her journalism background to write for charity and non-profit organizations, but enjoys writing to raise Autism awareness most. A contributor for Modern Mom Magazine, Kennedy’s writings have appeared in Chicken Soup for the Soul, USA Today and many others. The founder and executive director of a foundation serving Atlanta families living with Autism, she has appeared on Headline News, Montel Williams, NPR and other media outlets as an advocate for families living with autism.
Hoops Holiday Page 16