by L. R. W. Lee
I held the kiss as I jerked her onto my lap, wrapped my arms around her, and held on for dear life. It would take both of us. But she was committed to not just pushing back my darkness but beating it senseless, kicking the stuffing out of it once and for all. With me. Always with me. So I could truly live. She would be fierce and relentless, I knew she would. Every step of the way.
My heart overflowed with love for this amazing woman. Despite how I’d acted toward her, she still loved me. A sense of gratitude, deeper than I’d ever known, filled my heart. And for the first time in forever, I felt a glimmer of hope rise in me. I truly wasn’t alone anymore.
My heart overflowed with love for this man. I’d hoped for this opportunity for so long. In Dream, I couldn’t be as effective as I’d needed when I only had the time in which Kovis dreamed to shift his darkness, and it hadn’t been enough. I’d now have the whole of every sun, that, combined with his courage, I felt confident it would be enough. It would scare him shitless to face the whole of his darkness, but I knew he would. I sensed his commitment, and he’d allowed me the honor of helping him. If he could get truly healthy, we could have the future I dared to believe we both hoped for.
I had work to do too. We were both flawed. He had been my world, my whole focus since I’d come to Wake. He was the only one who really knew me, and it was unhealthy. It was time for me to open myself up and share my true self with others, because if I didn’t, I was just as dead inside as he was. In isolating myself, I’d insulated myself from scrutiny, critical looks, and scathing assessments—that incident in the dining hall when fellow apprentices had ostracized me still haunted my thoughts. Yes, I had trust issues just like Kovis. Not as dark, but I hadn’t believed that even Haylan and Hulda would understand and accept me. I hadn’t trusted them. My best friends. What kind of a friend was I? I shook my head. Even if I wasn’t suffocating and withering in the tumult of Kovis’s erratic moods, I needed to trust others. I wouldn’t kid myself, being vulnerable would be uncomfortable, maybe even… excruciating—the thought gave me pause. No, I needed to do this. We were worth it.
The storm continued raging, snow swirling past the entrance, and we held each other. It was a perfect picture of how I saw our inner storms warring against us. We would hold on to each other no matter how hard they raged or what they threw at us. We would not let go of each other.
Sometime later when resolve had firmed itself in both of us, we pulled apart. I think we both sensed that we had changed and would never be the same. But the storm hadn’t changed. It still raged.
“Since it seems we’ll be staying a while, we need to make sure there aren’t more of those things back there.” My shoulders jerked as I nodded at the blackness at the back of the cave.
“Good idea, but let’s tend your wounds first.”
“No, I won’t rest if I’m worried there’s more back there. I’ll tend my wounds after.”
“Suit yourself.” Kovis retrieved his cape, rummaged through the pocket, and pulled out his flints. “I think a torch might be in order, first.”
I couldn’t agree more. I floated two of the thickest branches over to him. Fire caught on the first and then the second. Kovis handed one to me.
“Ready?”
I took a deep breath and nodded. I couldn’t stand these beetles. They disgusted me to my core. They had black blood. Black. What good creature had black blood?
I stretched out, belly down, on a cushion of my winds. “After you.”
The ceiling sloped lower and the sides narrowed as we made our way back. These beetles had done a minimum of work. Of course, had it been me, I would have done the same. The rock was hard and not easy to tunnel through. We progressed single-file, Kovis hunched over at the waist.
The walls held a bluish cast, but the further we ventured, pink and raspberry and purple and white and lime green added to the mixture.
They’re sapphires, Kovis said through the bond.
His use of our bond when we weren’t in dire straits warmed me. Vulnerability was scary as Hades, but it had left me feeling clean and renewed. It seemed it had left him similarly if he’d opened his side of our bond. Would you mind me joining your mind so I can see what you’re seeing?
There was no hesitation. Please do.
Holding my air pocket took effort and the usual disorientation beset me as I joined Kovis’s mind, but soon I saw the tunnel through two sets of eyes. The only sound was Kovis’s feet echoing on the stone. How far had these bugs tunneled? And why?
Not long after, the sides and ceiling started widening again and my stomach clenched. I had a feeling we were about to find out.
Torchlight illuminated another cavity, similar in size to the one at the front of this cave. Kovis took several steps, and an enormous stash of acorns came into focus. At least we wouldn’t be starving. Turning to his right, the torch illuminated what looked like a bowl filled with large-ish round balls. Like the walls, they shimmered iridescent pink and blue and green as they moved.
They moved. I screamed. Eggs!
“Kill them!” I was back in my own head without realizing I’d ended our connection. I hit the ground as I lost concentration on my winds. Despite my wounds, I scrambled back. I couldn’t get away fast enough.
A bright flame shattered the darkness. Then Kovis yelled, “Ali! Stop! They’re dead.”
I collapsed, panting. My heart raced.
Kovis stooped over me, then smiled. “Not a fan of rock beetles I see.”
“Anything with black blood filling its veins cannot be of this world.” A shiver ran up my spine. “They’re evil.”
He snickered; it was the first time in ages.
“So glad I amuse you.”
His eyes danced as he grinned. “I’ve never seen you move so fast.” He couldn’t hold in a snort, and it grew.
I burst out laughing.
He fell to the ground beside me chortling. “You… you…,” he wheezed. He drew his hands to his stomach, unable to stem the tide.
A cackle erupted from me. I sounded like a wounded chicken.
It only made him laugh harder.
My sides and stomach hurt, but I couldn’t stop.
“You should have seen yourself…” He finally got the words out but burst out laughing again as his mind replayed my desperate actions.
Oh, but my stomach ached. It felt so good.
But the next heartbeat, an explosion rumbled from the back of the cave, and the floor trembled. Dust rained down, squelching our revelry. Confusion marred his face, no doubt mine too, as we looked at each other. Listening.
“What?” I whispered.
The mountain stilled, and Kovis bolted up, torch in hand. I rose, grabbed my torch, and floated on his heels. I ignored the stench and sight of the burnt eggs as we rushed past, plunging further into the belly of the mountain.
The tunnel narrowed again. Had these disgusting creatures carved out an inn and tavern that bug villagers frequented. I prayed not. But even if they had, it wouldn’t explain the explosion.
Kovis stopped and threw out a hand. I thought I heard voices.
He crept forward. I followed, nearly on top of him.
He stopped when a waist-high barricade laced with a tangle of magic from several affinities blocked the end of our shaft—I sensed Water, Terra, Wood, and Metal.
To keep the rock beetles out. Kovis bobbed his head. A large cavity had been hewn in the middle of the mountain that stretched into the blackness above. Torches, spaced a man’s height apart, rimmed the perimeter at floor level. Several other openings, no doubt the work of more rock beetles, dumped into the space at irregular heights and intervals.
I did a quick count and got to twenty-six men, miners I guessed. There were probably more inside a two-story structure that stood tall in the middle of the cavern.
It was hard to see much, dim as it was, but we ducked back into the shadows as a beefy man strode past. A shout and a good ten men with something metallic and round in one hand
traipsed past in the other direction. Some of them were sorcerers, but not all. A man at the front of the pack and another halfway back carried lanterns.
I sucked in a breath. They’d passed close enough for me to see their eyes. Every eye had been cloudy. I’d bet my life they all were.
We’d stumbled on a rebel hideout. It had to be.
The group returned for more of whatever it was they were moving. Back and forth, back and forth.
Explosives. Kovis said on their next trip past.
Shit! Rebels had attacked the largest gemstone mine in Terra just moons before. People had died. One of Hulda’s brothers had been injured. It was all part of what we’d surmised to be Father’s plan to crush the economy of the Altairn Empire and bring it to its knees in order to conquer it. And it looked like these rebels were gearing up to do it again.
I glanced over. Kovis watched, a conflicted look marring his face. I tunneled through our bond and listened in.
If we don’t stop them, another mine will be destroyed, but more importantly, citizens will die. But stopping them won’t be easy. There’s only two of us. And the longer we spend here, the longer Ali’s father will have free reign. Who knows what else he’s got those he controls doing? If we stay, would we be… maybe… hopefully… winning a battle, but losing the war? And Kennan… no, this can’t come down to rescuing him.
Kovis blew out a breath.
My heart hurt for him. I agreed, there was no easy answer. But when family was affected, it made any choice all the harder.
We watched for a while longer, but clarity remained elusive.
They can’t do anything while this storm rages. It’s been a while since we’ve eaten. Let’s build a fire and roast some of those acorns, and you can continue pondering, I suggested.
Kovis closed his eyes and nodded, then reached his hand over to me. We need to take a look at your injuries too.
And so we slowly made our way back to the front of the cave.
The storm had raged for five suns. I was beginning to wonder if it would ever stop. The only positives, it gave me time to heal. It also provided us the opportunity to observe the rebel outpost and become familiar with their activities. Well, that and Kovis took advantage of our confinement in… other, more intimate ways. I smiled.
Gods it felt good to have him back, to have him inside me again. I’d missed that intimacy. I had my own work to do to grow stronger, healthier, but that in no way diminished my love for him. I loved him completely and to linger in his arms after he’d given me pleasure… He was home.
We’d made the cave a little homier. I’d borrowed a thread of Kovis’s Ice to erect a wall to block the winds coming in the entrance. Kovis had started a fire. Between that, our capes, our naked bodies, and his arms surrounding me, I was happier than a bug in a rug—not a rock beetle mind you, a normal bug. I didn’t mind those.
I’d untangled threads of Wood and Terra magic the rebels had used on the barricade to block the beetles from entering their outpost and leveraged them to accelerate my healing. In fact, my body felt whole again.
Kovis had conjured water and blasted the beetles’ black blood off my leathers then warmed more up and hosed both of us down to remove our stench. Despite not having soap, my nose appreciated the improvement.
Kovis had me give him a shave with an ice blade he conjured. To say “doing the honors” made me nervous would be an understatement. I’d never shaved a man, not even one of my brothers. As it was, I nicked him twice, but healed him right away.
What a difference. He’d gotten so scruffy—hair on his upper lip had grown over his mouth and he’d had to part it in order to eat, as well as kiss me. It had also grown over his ears and hung unkempt from his chin. I hated it. Having his clean-shaven face to again appreciate gave me a few “ideas” to try on him. He loved them.
But all the while, the storm had raged on and on and on, a constant whistling and rumbling filling our ears. So when I woke in Kovis’s arms this sun and all was deathly quiet, not one thing stirring, I soaked in the stillness, starring at the ceiling in awe. That mighty tempest had at last blown itself out. In its fury, it could not withstand the full force of its own power. Dared I hope this foreshadowed what would happen with Father?
Cheery sunlight filtered through the ice barrier at the mouth of the cave. Curiosity coaxed me from our warm cocoon, and I dressed quickly. Winter and snow were a whole new thing for me, not having seasons in Dream. Thus far, I hadn’t exactly appreciated the experience, so I wanted to see what all that bluster had left behind. I’d decide then if winter had any redeeming qualities. I wasn’t optimistic.
What are you doing? Kovis’s voice was clogged with sleep. Come back to bed. You’ve left me defenseless against the cold. And we know what happens when certain parts of me get cold.
I snorted. Poor Dreambeam. “If you must know, the storm stopped. I want to see what it left.”
Lots of snow, satisfied? Now come back to bed.
“No, come join me.” I moved toward the ice barrier and flicked my brows.
You wouldn’t.
“Hehe, I would.”
Kovis groaned.
A smile climbed across my face as I watched him toss aside our capes, all warmth left behind. But before he could even get to the first stitch of clothing, I blasted Air at the wall of ice.
“No!” His eyes were wide as he rushed for his braises.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move so fast. I couldn’t stop laughing as the ice wall fell away.
He finished buckling his leathers and barreled toward me, a grin on his face.
I squealed as he wrapped his arms around me, pinning my arms to my sides and smothering the back of my neck and the sides of my face in kisses.
That was mean, but I suppose I deserved it. I’m still as hot for you as ever though. It came out a purr.
I twisted in his arms, then looked up into his eyes, those blue and hazel pools that I’d first fallen in love with. “I love you, Kovis.” I ran a hand over his smooth skin, still adjusting to his lack of facial hair. He had to stoop with the short ceiling so, for the first time, I had no trouble planting a kiss on his lips. I made a mental note: order the ceilings be lowered for his rooms back at the palace.
“I love you.” What had been playful turned passionate as he picked me up and hugged me tight to himself, then claimed my mouth with his.
While we’d had our share of problems and we had a ways to go to being completely healthy with our relationship, I knew that if we could keep the love we had for each other alive, we could overcome anything. The truth of the thought sent a tear trickling down my cheek. Aside from my siblings and grandparents, I’d never known such love and acceptance.
Sensing my roiling emotions, Kovis pulled back. “Hey, what’s this?” He put me down then traced the path of the rogue tear with his thumb.
“I’m just happy.”
“Me too.” He held my gaze for several heartbeats before planting a kiss on the tip of my nose. A nod had me turning to see the view.
I sucked in a breath at the sight. Everything. Every single thing was covered in a thick, white blanket that sparkled in the sun. Nothing had yet marred its perfection, and its beauty left me speechless.
“Careful,” Kovis warned.
I’d walked to the edge of the cave opening without knowing it. More snow covered the floor of the valley and opposing side of the pass we’d been following, so much that not one patch of rock had managed to escape. Only the tops of the tallest trees stood taller. Perhaps I’d been hasty in my judgment about winter.
“I’ve decided what we need to do.” His words lingered on the chilly air. He didn’t have to say about what. He’d been wrestling with the rebel situation since we’d found them and had been observing, sometimes with me, sometimes alone. I’d never had to weigh lives in any decision, and I knew he needed time by himself to sort through it all.
I waited as his mind organized his thoughts.
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��There is no right answer. People will die no matter what we do, citizens or those your father has control of. In a perfect world I’d save both.”
“You’d save the rebels?”
“They are not acting of their own accord. I do not believe anyone would willingly fight against their empire. Perhaps there are a few dissenters, but I believe their actions are your father’s doing, not their own, and I will not punish anyone without first understanding what or who drives them.”
He had a point.
“I want to disrupt their operation, leave them something to remember us by, before we leave this sun.”
“Disrupt? You plan to leave?”
“I want to stymie their progress without harming the rebels themselves, and yes, I plan to leave. Wiping out this base will take planning and time that we don’t have and give your father opportunity to instigate more trouble in the meantime. We’re on defense. We need to be on offense if we are to stop him.”
“So stymie rather than wipe out? How do you propose we do that? It’s just us.”
“They gave us a gift when they set up that barricade. As you know, its Water, Terra, Wood, and Metal magic are what kept the beetles back. Well, it seems to me that we might just leverage those same affinities, throw in a little Air and Ice, and we could have quite a lot of fun. All while ensuring none of the rebels are harmed.”
I gave him a long look. “But there’s only two of us.”
“Fear not. Those explosives have Wood and Metal magic woven around a metal casing. But at the core of each”—he looked into my eyes before continuing—“there’s a rock beetle egg.”
My mouth dropped open and my eyes grew wide.
Kovis held up a hand. “When it’s deployed, the Wood magic grows the beetle and it tunnels a path into wherever it lands. The Metal magic follows that path, reshaping the casing and bringing it with it. A strong sorcerer makes the metal explode with just a thought. When the beetle’s blood mixes with the shrapnel, it burns, starting fires everywhere.”
“I knew those things were evil! At least the beetle’s destroyed.”