by L. R. W. Lee
I smiled.
The guard next to us snapped to attention before I could hear more. They all did, and I understood why as familiar footsteps approached.
Velma whispered, “Give me your ring for safekeeping.”
She’d noticed. And she was right, the less Father knew, the better… for all of us. I quickly slipped it off and handed it to her.
“My liege.” The greeting echoed from several soldiers, followed by bows, as Father stopped before us. My stomach clenched. Had he been on his way and just arrived? Was this just unfortunate timing on our part?
“Rise.” He held his chin high, his chest thrust out, and flared his nostrils with a great exhale. He was pissed. My hands turned clammy despite Velma placing a hand on my arm. This was not how I’d pictured our next meeting. Truthfully, I hadn’t pictured one.
“I see we've caught the hare. Assemble everyone here,” he commanded. “It's time she is dealt with.”
He sounded like he had a cold. It was a random thought, no doubt my mind’s way of attempting to cope with my fear. His soldiers, like obedient mice, scurried to do his will, and Alfreda appeared around the corner. If I weren’t afraid of what was about to happen, I would have jumped up and kissed her. As it was, I sent her a smile as the guard beside us compelled Velma and me to our feet. Alfreda reciprocated the greeting from beside Kovis once we complied. Baldik stood on the other side of another guard that had apparently been the source of the correcting growl, for he was the only other to appear.
Bate and several other soldiers filed in as Father took another step, his black robe hissing against the floor. With the weight he’d put on, along with his large wings, he was imposing in the limited space.
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “The prodigal daughter has returned. Or has she? You've been back in Dream for nearly a sennight and you haven't sought me out. You disappoint me. Is that what a favorite daughter would do?” He frowned.
Shit. Not that I’d expected him to, but he wouldn’t have uttered that moniker if he still considered me such. Dread filled me.
“What did I tell you about falling into disfavor?”
I swallowed hard. How could I forget? “That it would be ‘unfortunate.’”
“That is correct. And why do you suppose that is?”
He was surprisingly restrained. It almost seemed like he was regurgitating something he’d thought through numerous times and was only now acting on. How much did he loathe me?
I bit my lip but finally managed, “Because you will punish me?”
“Correct again. Yes, I've overlooked your slights of the past, but this is the last time. You fled to Wake in hopes of preventing me from taking it. You held the crazy notion that you loved your charge more than me and had to save him.” He shook his head. “I hold your sister largely responsible for filling your head with such nonsense, but it was a cowardly thing to do. That said, how can I, in all good conscience, continue calling you my favorite daughter?”
His eyes pierced me, waiting for an answer.
When I couldn’t stand his scrutiny or the silence any longer, I breathed out, “You can’t.”
He nodded. “This is correct.”
Before I’d fled Dream, I’d come to realize he had been manipulating me, making me feel important by calling me his favorite, preying on my belief that it meant he loved me when all he was doing was preparing to use me for his purposes when it suited him. I knew all that, but it still hurt.
Velma looked down.
So he would punish me. Sweat ran down my back.
Breathe, Ali, breathe, Kovis encouraged. We’ll make it through whatever he tries, together.
Father snarled. “It would be well within my rights as your sovereign to end your miserable mortal existence.” He let that thought linger. “But because I am generous, I'm going to extend leniency.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted his mercy. Would he take my wings instead? I’d just gotten them back!
“The root of the issue is that you believe you love another”—he looked at Kovis—“more than me.”
He’d been hung up on me loving Kovis. He’d come unhinged over it. My breathing labored.
Father went on. “Now what would serve to properly punish you?” He tapped a finger on his lips as if to ponder. He wasn’t pondering. He already knew what he planned to do; he just enjoyed being dramatic and hearing himself bloviate. After several heartbeats, he shook his head. “No. No. I think taking your wings would not serve my ends. You have adjusted to their lack in Wake. I must punish you differently.”
I’d keep my wings, but…
“I'm going to punish you in three ways.”
Oh gods, here it came.
“Endure these and I will consider your punishment satisfied and commensurate with the wrong I’ve suffered at your hands.”
The wrong he’d suffered? He was delusional. What was going on in that head of his? Evil. Only evil. How had I not seen it before?
“So let’s begin.”
“One thing I have learned about you, Alissandra,” Father said, “is that you care for others more than yourself. Therefore, the first punishment will be for one you love more than me to be punished on your behalf.”
I sucked in a breath. He wouldn’t!
In a heartbeat, a guard beside Father transformed back into its base form, a smelly, feral, purple-haired beast and lunged at Kovis. It had him on the ground in the blink of an eye.
“No!”
Alfreda shrieked and ran to me, clinging to my arm. I couldn’t support her, not now. I moved out of her grip, and she drew her arms around herself.
The soldier beside Baldik tackled him as he moved to intervene.
Velma gripped my other arm. I tried to shake her off, but she held firm. “He’ll hurt him worse if you go to him,” she whispered.
No, she was wrong! She’d never known love like I had. I had to save him. I struggled again, but still she held firm as the mare bit into Kovis’s shoulder and tossed him about. Despite his struggling, he succumbed to sleep quicker than I could blink, his body going limp.
Kovis! Only silence replied.
I heard his heart accelerate through the bond. This couldn’t be happening. If the terror was too horrific, he would have a heart attack and could even die! Father had wanted to eliminate him, and he was trying.
Velma still held my arm firm, firm in her beliefs, but I would help Kovis. But how?
The mare transformed into the shadowy form of Kovis’s father, the late emperor, and rose. I’d seen the man in Kovis’s memories enough times to know. The figure bent over and grabbed my Dreambeam’s neck in a death grip.
Kovis had been attacked by a mare while we were in the wilderness, but I’d had magic then. I’d wrenched Ice from him and frozen the foe, then shattered it into a million pieces with my winds. But I had no magic! What could I do?
I tried to calm down despite Alfreda whimpering beside me. No one moved, transfixed by the scene.
And then I knew. Velma would help despite her restraint, by steadying me.
I willed myself into Kovis’s mind while keeping my expression neutral and staring at the scene like everyone else. I had a good idea what I’d find when I arrived in his head, and I wasn’t wrong. The late emperor was choking him while kicking him in the stomach. I just caught a glimpse of a green robe fluttering out of the room.
“You’ve interrupted us for the last time!” the emperor roared in Kovis’s mind.
“Kovis! Listen to me!” I called, then conjured an image of him fondling my breasts, his eyes filled with passion and desire.
Another kick, this one missing Kovis’s stomach and hitting his groin. Kovis cried out. His heart pounded faster than I’d ever heard it.
“Look, Kovis! Do you remember?” I tried to beat back my panic that was rising and added more explicit exploration of my ladies. Fondling one, then the other. So soft. So supple. He leaned forward and suckled them.
The late emperor raise
d a knee to follow up on his last kick, but it turned to mist before reaching him.
I sighed contentedly through the bond. That feels so good, my love. I said it in a seductive tone and showed him squeezing my flesh again, his mouth never parting from my pebbled tip. Suck, lick. Yes. That’s it, my love.
When strangling and kicking ceased to work, the mare pulled back and threw an uppercut, but as it reached Kovis’s face, its hand faded into mist.
It was working. It was working. I redoubled my efforts and created the image of him taking his time, savoring every inch of me, kissing all the way to where my navel should have been, and below to the curly wisps of hair. Mmm, oh, Kovis… I moaned.
His heart, while still beating rapidly, slowed. I hoped it was from the images I’d been showing him and not the mare. And when he roused, I knew.
I opened my eyes—Kovis’s eyes—and looked at the scene: so many beings stared at me, transfixed by the sight of me on the ground.
Through my eyes, looking from the other side of the room, Father frowned as Velma still held me back. Did they know what I’d done?
I let a small smile breach my face.
The stench as the purple beast materialized again about overpowered our senses, but we took a breath through our mouth. Kovis’s arm throbbed where the thing had sunk its teeth.
I willed myself to return to my own head as the beast shifted back into its soldier form. “He bested me, my liege. I couldn’t hold him.”
With a growl, Father tossed his head, indicating for it to resume its position behind him. How I abhorred those abominations.
“On your feet,” the soldier beside Kovis commanded, and he struggled up, holding his arm. A trickle of blood oozed from beneath his hand as he schooled his expression and locked eyes with me. Damn. And just when it was getting good. But his words came out uneven. He knew how close we’d come.
I exhaled—it looked like Kovis’s leathers had taken the brunt of that beast’s maw. Velma released my arm with a squeeze.
The soldier didn’t permit Baldik to rise, but kept him facedown, against the cave floor.
Father drew his lips into a flat line and looked at me with a furrowed brow. Clearly, he’d hoped for a different outcome. He’d never admit defeat, so I wasn’t surprised when he dispensed with comment and just plunged in. “For your next punishment…”
One punishment down, but two to go.
We’ll do this together, Ali. We’ll make it.
“I believe we need a few more involved who you love more than me,” Father’s tone was condescending, “just so they can see how much pain you can cause them… like you’ve caused me. Perhaps they’ll reconsider blindly loving you.” He nodded, and the soldier beside Kovis stepped toward us and grabbed Alfreda by her forearm. She yipped, and despite resisting, the brute was stronger and dragged her before him.
“Have a little dignity, child,” he reprimanded her.
Alfreda bit her lip as she held herself. She was a dirty mess—dress thoroughly rumpled, hair stringy and tangled, feet bare. Her eyes looked vacant until she turned her head and refocused on me. She’d endured too much. What else would he do to her in my name?
“I love you,” I mouthed to her. A corner of her mouth hitched up.
“I’m calling this punishment a family affair. Alfreda, retrieve your charge’s thought thread.”
A family affair? I pulled my elbows into my sides. No. No. No.
“Now,” he added with a growl when she didn’t comply immediately.
Her breath hitched, and she looked to me with apology in her eyes. There was no fight left in her. Father had utterly crushed her spirit. Would he crush mine before he was done? I had no doubt he’d try.
She closed her eyes and did as commanded.
“Very good. Now, hand it to me.” He grinned when she did. “It seems one of my daughters knows how to obey. Hopefully this punishment will improve your obedience, Alissandra.”
Alfreda’s shoulders slumped.
“Come here,” Father said to me.
The soldier beside Velma and me wrenched her grip from my arm and marched me between him and my sister, then stepped away.
“You and I are going to hold this thread and you are going to inflict pain on your beloved’s brother until he shrieks.”
What? For what purpose? Never. Kovis!
“No!” Alfreda shouted. “You can’t! You brute!” She clawed at the mare-soldier until he restrained her.
Father’s eyes found Alfreda in a heartbeat. “Need I remind you that I am your sovereign?”
Alfreda continued struggling, but Father returned his focus to me. “Let’s begin. Hold the thread with me.”
Velma closed her eyes and bowed her head.
Kovis, I can’t.
He’d already closed his eyes and thoughts of Rasa’s abuse swirled in his mind. While he hadn’t been forced to participate, he’d felt just as powerless.
“Do you need help to comply?” Father’s words dripped acid.
“I can’t,” I replied.
He smiled. “Ah, but you must. You have no choice. This is part of your punishment for what you’ve done to me. Sometimes we get hurt for no reason. We’re just in the wrong place at the right time.”
I shook my head and felt him place his claws on my mind.
I fled to Kovis’s mind. Perhaps the bond would buffer some of the pain.
“You cannot experience the plans I have for you until you overcome your pain. And you cannot overcome your pain until you face it. It is the prism you see life through. It must change.” Kovis had shifted his thoughts and replayed a memory of what Dite had told him. He was forcing his mind to focus on this rather than the evil of the late emperor.
I felt discomfort as Father stroked my mind, making my body twitch. I would cope. I had to.
“You and Alissandra belong together. You have been made for each other. And I want to bless you.” Kovis’s memory went on. Dite wanted to bless us.
I filled my mind with that hope too and blocked out Father’s next stroke.
“Tell me again what it means to live,” Dite had asked. Kovis relived the deep breath he’d taken, then spoke of how much he loved me, of the pleasures of life, of passion and wonder and dreaming.
I filled my mind with these thoughts and of how much I loved Kovis, of how lucky I was to get to know him like no other sand person knew their charge, to experience what it means to love and allow myself to be fully loved, warts and all, in return. To be vulnerable and unafraid. To help him become all he was meant to be.
Father’s claws dug deeper, and I focused all the harder on what was good. Kovis was my refuge and shelter.
And you are mine, my love.
While I’d been consuming my focus with all that was good, he’d been listening in and had joined in my narrative.
We both grimaced on Father’s next pass, but Kovis chuckled.
What?
How about we pick up where we were when we were so rudely interrupted?
I laughed into the bond. There’s nothing I would enjoy more.
Kovis brought to mind the image of his hands exploring my ladies more explicitly. Fondling one, then the other. So soft. So supple. He leaned forward and suckled them. I sighed contentedly through the bond.
How’s that feel, my love? he purred and showed me his hands squeezing my flesh again, his mouth never parting from my pebbled tip. Suck, lick. Yes.
That’s so good. Mmmm. I could barely think until Father’s next pass left us both panting. But the pain fueled our passions hotter than they’d ever been. Father could do anything to me, but he would fail as long as Kovis was by my side.
And sex would be incredible. Kovis’s hands continued their migration southward and my core burned ever hotter with desire.
And when Father scraped his claws slowly in his deepest pass—more excruciating than ever before, the thrall overwhelmed me and my body climaxed. Blackness nibbled at the edges of awareness and sounds welled up
from deep within, unbidden, and I surrendered, shouting my release, equal parts agony and rapture. My knees gave way, and I again met the floor as I channeled the torment. Climax had never felt so intense, so exhilarating… so unthinkably extraordinary. I didn’t care that everyone heard. They had no idea what made my body spasm and tremble.
In my delirium, somewhere between the cold, hard cave and a warmth outside myself, I pondered. What was it about pain and pleasure? They seemed so at odds, yet they could be harmonized. Pleasure could bring pain, just as pain could yield pleasure. But together, they were… indescribable.
When I at last opened my eyes, I was looking at Kovis across the room.
How are you doing, Ali dearest? Worry marred his face.
I’ve been better.
I’ll always be here for you.
My head pounded, but it was a small price to pay for what I’d thwarted. Yet it had been close. Had I not had Kovis, I would never have survived, I knew it with certainty. Father had been crueler than anything he’d dished out before. I’d dodged an arrow, but he wasn’t done. Could I endure? Doubt nibbled at my throbbing mind, and my stomach felt like a stone.
Father cleared his throat, and I turned my head to find him looking down at me. “You have endured.” He seemed conflicted, even as he said it. “I dared take this no further lest I cause irreparable damage, for that would ruin your last punishment. No, you need to be fully aware for that.”
Tears streamed down Alfreda’s face. I couldn’t tell if they were for the pain she was complicit in causing me or from dread of what was to come. Or from being so thoroughly broken that she’d never be able to stop.
Velma looked equally spent.
Father had meant what he’d said about that punishment being a family affair. He’d dragged Alfreda and Kennan into it, and Velma and Kovis right along with us if caring did that. It did in my book.
As soon as Alfreda was back beside Velma, a solider at her side to control her, Father looked at me, standing again before him, and said, “And so, your third punishment.”
He was going to push me until I broke, like he had Alfreda. Like he was trying to do with Velma. These first two punishments had been horrific. What could he possibly do to top them?