by Vani Mahesh
But it had residents who were exceptionally nice and friendly. Since her paternal grandparents had lived there for close to a decade, Anu knew almost every resident of the fifty houses. After his parents had passed away, Anu’s father had rented out the place for a few years and then he had gifted it to Anu. So no EMI or rent, which was a sweet deal!
‘Hi, Anu! Same pinch, ya. We are wearing the same kurta today!’ That was Kavitha who was a huge admirer of Anu since high school. Yeah, they too went to the same KLE school. Though twice Anu’s weight and half her height, Kavitha had been mimicking Anu’s wardrobe since forever.
‘You look nice.’ Anu waved a hurried goodbye. If Kavitha got talking, Anu would not only miss her lunch but also dinner.
‘Anu, wait. Where did you buy the white shirt you were wearing yesterday? I looked at both Amazon and Myntra but couldn’t find!’
‘Kavi, stop buying the clothes that I buy. I will help you choose a wardrobe for you, okay?’ Anu meant what she said. Not that she was a supermodel or anything, but Kavitha had a body type that was well, not Anu’s.
‘No, ya. I like what you wear. Tell me where you got it.’
Luckily for Kavitha, Anu was too cheap to be a designer babe. ‘Jayanagar. The store next to Motilal.’ Anu sighed and gave away the source. This time a tad reluctantly. That shop was her find.
‘What shade of lipstick are you wearing?’ Kavitha came to a kissing distance.
‘I will WhatsApp you the shade.’ Anu hurried before she could get scrutinized for her innerwear.
‘Anu, but we can go shopping. When? Tomorrow?’ Kavitha’s eyes lit up in eagerness.
Anu didn’t have the heart to dim that child-like light in Kavitha, though going shopping with her was a painful act. Every single thing Anu picked up, Kavitha would order and pay for two of those—one in medium and one in XXXL. One may think to get so many gifts was fun but Anu was like the Lannisters in Game of Thrones—she always paid her debts. Which meant, each time Kavitha paid, Anu had to match.
But Kavitha was like a child, she wouldn’t leave Anu alone until her wish of going to shopping was fulfilled. Anu gave in. ‘Tomorrow it is. Meet you here at 11. Bye.’
Kavitha’s obsession with Anu went back to when they were fifteen. The usually lethargic residents of Ramesh Apartments came alive during their resident’s day, which they took very seriously. Taking part in any of the activities was considered to be prestigious. There were dance performances but mostly the middle-aged women who were once-upon-a-time dancers dominated the scene. There were dramas but older men and women who nursed theatrical ambitions when young would be all over it, singing was the domain of the music teachers in the apartment and their students. In Bangalore music is big—every street has at least two Carnatic music teachers with at least twenty students each. So one can imagine an apartment complex with a hundred houses.
One event that was left for kids was a beauty pageant of ethic wear. Every year it was same deal – contestants strutting awkwardly in strangely draped sarees. Tamilians and Coorgis sashayed confidently because their mothers knew how to work the pallus. Then some proclaimed their drapes were Gujarati or Rajasthani which nobody contested. It was before the internet era so nobody knew the difference between Gujarati, Rajasthani or Marathi. Kannada kids had it hard. Their style was too everyday but their mothers didn’t know any better.
Only girls fifteen years of age and above could audition and finally, Anu had qualified that year; but so had Kavitha. The audition was held in the car parking lot and the aspirants had to walk the slopy ramp. The selectors were older girls who were also the self-nominated fashionistas. Boys, uninvited of course, gathered all around passing comments.
Anu’s grandmother had draped her in a Kanjeevaram saree. Kannada style. Anu wasn’t happy about the non-exotic nature of it, but that was the only way her grandmother knew. Anu, determined to make it to the event, had watched enough Femina Miss India shows on TV all year long. When the time came, she made herself proud by walking down the steep ramp with a hand on the hip and head-tilted upwards. She had secretly practised not to tumble at the end of the ramp. Whoa! She even got a big round of applause when she finished.
Walking after her was Kavitha, also draped in a Kanjeevaram saree, Kannada style. Only one girl was selected for a particular style and Anu, though not proud of her thoughts, was happy that her competitor was Kavitha.
But nothing had prepared Anu for what befell the poor girl. When Kavitha waddled down the ramp, the selectors showed no interest in her while the boys were savage. ‘Try the elephant costume!’ ‘Don’t walk. Roll down the ramp, fatty!’
Kavitha was in tears and Anu was enraged. She began to think of many different ways to get back at the boys but before she could come up with a plan, the selectors read out the list of the chosen ones. Anu was in but she felt miserable looking at the tears rolling down Kavitha’s eyes messing up her make up.
Forgetting for a moment how much she wanted to be in the show, Anu had held up her saree and walked up the ramp. ‘I will not participate. Instead, I want Kavitha to do the walk.’ Even as she uttered the words, her heart sank to the pit of her stomach. All her effort was a waste. Did Kavitha have to be in the same costume as hers? But when she had looked at Kavitha’s stunned but delighted face, Anu had sighed and tried to be happy.
But the catcalls and booing against Kavitha had made Anu, what Sameer termed, pull-an-Anu on the boys. The usually non-belligerent Anu went livid. ‘What is your problem?’ she had shouted at the boys. ‘Do you think you are perfect?’
Her little speech was as ineffective as the dainty little hankerchief she was using to wipe the sweat pouring from her face. Boys were now even more encouraged to catcall and boo both Anu and Kavitha. But luckily, Kavitha’s grandfather who had come in to check on them became their knight-in-shining-Rayon pants. When he stood next to Anu and stared, the boys had quietened down instantly. The fashionistas agreed to include Kavitha in the pageant along with Anu, on the grandfather’s insistence.
But that particular incident had also resulted in two disasters. The overzealous grandfather had next insisted that Anu and Kavitha walk the car ramp again, but this time together. Individually both the girls had manoeuvred the slope but now, together, with Kavitha holding on to Anu’s hand in glee, they both had toppled and rolled.
The second disaster was Kavitha’s newfound love for Anu. After that, she wore what Anu wore, went to the same college that Anu went to, and lived in the same apartment complex that Anu did. The only time Kavitha failed to mimic Anu was in her pregnancy. She had her son Adi two years earlier than Anu had Vicky. But to make up for that, Adi too was now in Dew Drops.
Anu sighed. Though she felt stalked by Kavitha, it was not all that bad having her in life. She found Anu household help, hunted for yoga classes when it became Anu’s obsession, and she willingly sipped Fanta when Anu had a drink and drove her back. Everyone needs someone who makes them feel special.
Anu hurried home. She needed to get dressed before heading to Jake’s.
4
Jake of Jake’s Club was in fact Jagannatha. If you watch a lot of English shows and expect Jake, aka, Jagannatha to be a friendly, suave, six-pack toting, bartending owner, you are in for a surprise. Jake here is a sixty-something short and burly man, with a ring on each finger. He walks around in a white-suit without making eye contact with any of the patrons. He does not believe in being a friendly owner who chats up the guests. He is the King of his club and the customers are his subjects. Anu has been going to the club for almost a decade and all she gets from him is an occasional small nod.
When Anu reached the club, Jake was pacing, and Shwetha was already seated and typing furiously on her mobile. She was crunching some numbers for her multinational investment bank employer for sure. Anu waited for Shwetha to finish her work.
A tiny puppy came bounding towards Anu. Before she had a chance to even look at the pup, an equally tiny boy came bounding after to t
ake the puppy away. It was obvious he did not fancy his new dog liking a stranger.
‘What is your puppy’s name?’ Anu asked to break the ice with the boy.
‘I won’t tell you. Don’t be his friend.’ The boy, probably four like Vicky, snapped at Anu.
‘He won’t become my friend. He is only your friend.’ Anu tried to put the boy at ease but he ran without casting a second glance at Anu.
Shwetha looked up from her phone and smiled. ‘Don’t worry. I will be your friend.’
‘Fine. You are not half as cute as the pup, but you will do for now.’ Anu beckoned the waiter.
‘You look nice, Anu. New online haul?’ Shwetha put away her phone. ‘How much money do you spend on clothes?’
‘I spend as much as I can. I can’t have online businesses go bankrupt.’ Anu grinned at her friend. They were a fun company.
‘Regular stuff, madam?’ The waiter who came to their table asked with a wide smile. Unlike the owner, the staff was friendly at the club.
‘Yes, Anand. Budweiser, peanut masala, and Veg Pakoda.’ Anu knew most waiters by name because Jake employed a small staff. ‘How is your new baby?’
The man grinned widely, yanked out his phone, and began to show Anu photos of his baby with large black dots smeared on its forehead and the left cheek. Those black dots were to protect the baby from people’s evil eyes, a tradition Anu had flouted with Vicky.
When the waiter showed no signs of finishing with the pictures, Anu felt Shwetha’s heeled foot kick hers. Note to self: Never ask a new parent for baby pictures; they won’t stop until you have seen all ten-thousand of them. ‘Anand, leave the phone here and get us beer. I will see the photos slowly,’ Anu volunteered.
‘That is all, madam. I will get you your beer.’ The man ran towards the kitchen stoving the phone into his pocket.
‘His gallery probably has more porn than baby pictures! Why would he leave the phone with you!’ Shwetha began to laugh.
‘I stopped the slide show, didn’t I? He could have just said his baby is doing well. Everyone has too many photos to share lately.’ Anu shuddered.
‘By the way, how come you are drinking today? Breaking your once a week rule?’ Shwetha asked when the beer was served. Anu drank two larges of something once a week and no more. Not for any health reasons but because she didn’t fancy sporting a large gut and perennial undereye bags.
‘Desperate times call for desperate drinks. The house has gone from bad to ugly. I got to clean it now.’
Shwetha nodded understandingly. ‘See, cleaning is easy. Dump everything into Vicky’s playroom. He anyway plays in the kitchen.’
Anu nodded. ‘Gosh, you are so smart! I can clean up in five minutes this way! What do I do with the dirty dishes?’
‘Until Sanju is back, eat outside or stay with your parents!’
‘Very smart. Let us drink to that.’
One mug led to two. The starters got repeated. Office gossips were shared. So much happened over a drink.
‘Don’t you need to go back to work?’ Anu asked Shwetha who was all too comfortable sitting cross-legged removing her heels. Usually, she ran after one beer.
‘Have taken the afternoon off. Let us order more beer.’ Shwetha beckoned the waiter. ‘What are your plans for the afternoon?’
‘Gilmore Girls on Netflix,’ Anu grinned. ‘You know, when Supriyaji asks us to thank the universe, I say a special thank you to Netflix and Prime. What would I do without their no-brainer funnies?’
Shwetha raised a toast. ‘To Netflix.’
‘What do we eat for the main course?’ Anu eyed the menu. ‘Paneer this and that. Biryani this and that. Naan, roti, this and that.’
‘Indian lunch menu is the one thing that doesn’t change worldwide. Order Maggi, Anu. And add Maggi at Jake’s to your thanksgiving list.’
The puppy yet again came back to Anu and so did its possessive owner. Anu tried smiling at the boy, who only frowned. ‘How come that boy isn’t charmed by me?’ Anu asked puzzled. Usually, people warmed up to her when she smiled.
‘Wait till he hits puberty.’
‘I will be too old by then.’ Anu giggled. This was phase two of drinking where they both started talking nonsense and giggled over nothing.
‘How is Sanju?’ Shwetha asked taking a long swig.
‘However he is. I will assess when he is back,’ replied Anu. Somehow, Sameer assuring her that nothing was wrong with Sanju had put her at ease.
‘I think we should stop drinking,’ said Shwetha tentatively.
The problem with buy-one-get-one deals was one always over drank. So did the girls. ‘Got to hit the loo,’ Anu got up.
She felt her stress from having to clean the house melt away. She could now go home to Gilmore Girls. Cleaning could wait till tomorrow. A perfect day so far—Anu smiled contentedly.
As she moved by the poolside to get to the restroom, she saw the puppy follow her wriggling its nonexistent tail. Anu couldn’t resist anymore. She bent down to pet it but the springy creature in its excitement started to climb all over her, finally succeeding to grasp her feet firmly with its paws. Anu shook her leg trying to pry her foot free and the weightless little thing landed straight inside the pool!
Anu gasped—had she killed a little dog? When her breath returned, she squealed for help looking at the puppy struggling to stay afloat when a nearby swimmer set him on the ground. Sighing in relief, Anu tried drying the little moaning bundle. The next thing she knew, someone thudded into her and a moment later she was the one sinking to the bottom of the pool. Anu wiggled and tried crying but the words wouldn’t come out. What had just happened? Was her death going to be in this manner? Vicky! Was she never going to hold her little Vicky again?
Then someone yanked her to her feet. ‘Madam, it is three feet here. Just stand.’
Anu looked at the amused faces gathered around the pool and then at Shwetha who was about to burst out laughing. Anu looked at herself. Her pink bra showing through her white shirt. What was she thinking when she wore it? Her jeans, now soaking up all the water, weighed a ton. How did these things happen only to me? As Sameer often said, I am a disaster magnet! Shwetha gave her a hand to get out of the pool. As Anu stood dripping water around her, a hand that carried a robe came towards her. Jake, aka, Jagannatha! ‘Return it tomorrow.’ The man handed the robe and walked away.
‘How did I land in the pool?’ Anu asked with her head now light inside and heavy outside.
‘You pushed the poodle into the water so its owner,’ Shwetha subtly pointed at the boy, ‘returned you the favour. Anu, it is like straight out of a comedy movie, man!’
Anu wrapped the robe around herself, disappointing a few lunchers who were enjoying her wet t-shirt show.
‘Say sorry to aunty,’ the boy’s mother pushed him gently towards Anu.
Anu bent down to face the reticent little boy and smiled, ‘I had a good swim. So don’t bother saying sorry.’
Now the boy looked up at her, still without a smile. He spoke after a pause. ‘You can touch Spot. Only once.’ He held his dog towards her.
Anu shook her head. ‘No. Spot won’t like it if I touch him.’ Anu said solemnly. ‘He likes only you.’
The boy brightened. ‘You get your own dog. He will like you.’
The mother now looked at Anu and apologized sheepishly. ‘Thank you for being so nice. I am really sorry. My son is very possessive about his dog.’
‘Don’t worry. I live closeby. I can be home in ten minutes to change.’ Anu waved the haggard mother goodbye.
‘Come, I will drive you home.’ Shwetha dished out the keys from Anu’s handbag. ‘And, I will help you clean the house. I have taken the afternoon off.’
‘How do I sit in the car? I am going to wet the robe in no time.’ Anu steadied herself. Thank god she was a tad drunk. How could she have managed to walk around in a robe in public otherwise?
‘Spread a newspaper. Your upholstery isn’t some high-quality lea
ther that gets ruined.’
When they began to walk out, Anu’s phone rang. Sanju! Anu picked up the call automatically and realized it was a video call only when Sanju’s face loomed large on the screen.
‘Hey, what time is it? Why are you up till this late?’
‘It is 5.30 in New York. Told you I was going to be here for three days before flying to Bangalore.’ Sanju’s voice held a minor edge. ‘Where are you?’
‘Jake’s.’ Anu briefly explained what had happened, fully expecting Sanju to smile and shrug in mock desperation as he always did. But he snapped. ‘Why do you keep going to Jake’s? Can’t you find a better place? How could some boy push you into the water?’
‘Sanju! You like Jake’s and so does your father. What is this sudden loathing for the place? Also, why are you snapping at me?’ In her anger, Anu blurted, ‘I know your problem. You are you having an affair and you don’t want to come back to Bangalore. So you are on a fault-finding mission.’
Sanju’s jaw opened wide. ‘Anu! What nonsense! I am just snowed under with work, okay?’
Anu went into one of her belligerent investigative modes. ‘Show me around the room. Prove to me you don’t have some floozy hiding in there.’
Shwetha snatched the phone from Anu. ‘Anu, get a grip.’
Anu snatched back the phone only to see Sanju move it all-around an immaculate hotel room. When the phone zoomed in on him, he was laughing. ‘Anu, of all the crazy ideas you get, this must be the craziest! Go home and sleep.’
Shwetha sighed. ‘Now let us get you home before another disaster strikes!’