by K. L Mann
“Mermaid,” she amends.
“Right, little mermaid, let’s go get changed.”
He takes her upstairs to get ready and I go my own way, finding my closet in the basement. Lorenzo and I are moving out soon, getting our own place a few miles away, but for now, we live here at his parent’s estate. My father has a house of his own that’s similar in size, but we don’t stay there often. Lorenzo’s house has always been more of a home. We’ve taken over the basement since we became teenagers. We have a gym along with our rooms and it’s secluded from the rest of the house. Meaning we can keep our private activities private.
Arianna must have rushed him because when I make it outside to the backyard, they’re already in the water. In the sun, you can see the faint discoloration of Lorenzo’s burns underneath his tattooed body. He’s already covered both of his arms, most of his back and a majority of his legs. He says he wants more and I support that. It’s his decision to cover up what he doesn’t like to see. Plus, he won't admit it, but I know he enjoys the art aspect of it as well. He looks older with them, which would be convenient if he needed to look older. There’s not much he can’t do with his last name though, so his age has never been an issue.
Arianna splashes some pool water at me, barely hitting me with a few drops, pulling me out of my thoughts. She screeches and retreats when I jump into the water near her, searching for her big brother to save her. For hours we keep her entertained in the pool and subsequently we have fun. Wholesome fun that doesn’t require multiple women, loud music or alcohol. Arianna requests candy for dinner but Lorenzo negotiates her down to pizza instead.
By the time we’ve washed off the pool water, dressed in pajamas and eaten, she’s falling asleep in his arms in front of the movie she asked to watch. Her little snores confirm it and he sets her up in the small loveseat, covered by her fluffy pink blanket. Knowing how he struggles, I tell him to go sleep in his room and take the coach next to hers. I don’t bother turning off the movie, just turn the volume to nearly off, keeping the room partially illuminated for her.
Sometime after I’ve fallen asleep, a whisper wakes me up. “Psssst.”
Being a Colombo means being trained to sleep lightly. It’s easy to open my eyes and become alert. When I see her face and tears falling down her little cheeks, I’m completely thrown off. There’s no immediate danger in the room, but her sad face feels worse than if there were. “Arianna? What’s wrong?”
Her lower lip wobbles, and she clutches her blanket against herself tighter. “I miss papa, I’m scared when he’s not home. Can I…” she trains off, sniffling. “Can I sleep with you?”
Jesus fucking Christ my heart nearly breaks. I’ve already vowed to protect her with my life since holding her as a fucking infant, but that vow is being renewed right this second. Not even fear is allowed to hurt this girl. I’ll kill the emotion itself.
I agree with a grunt and nod, making room for her. She can’t sleep with Lorenzo, not with his nightmares, so I’m her only option and I’m not turning her down. She climbs on to the couch, wiping away her tears and wrapping her arms around my right arm, hugging it, clinging on to me for comfort. I’m not good with kids, but I can handle this.
The relief I feel when her breathing becomes steady and she falls back to sleep makes the worry dissipate. She’s safe now.
She’ll always be safe.
I’ll ensure it.
Bonus Content
Arianna’s Confession Diary Entries
“Memory... is the diary that
we all carry about with us.”
–Oscar Wilde
Warning.
If your name isn’t Arianna Lucia Vitale and you're reading this without permission from her, the consequences will be spectacularly grim. I am my father’s daughter, after all. Privacy is my right and I will systematically destroy anyone who disrespects it. That being said, continue with that in mind, or put my goddamn property back.
The devil works hard, but Vitale’s work harder.
I will hunt you down and make you wish you never wandered into my room.
-A.V.
Dear Diary,
I found a place to hide you. It wasn’t easy, but I did it. I had to rip up one of the floorboards behind my bed in the process. It’s worth it though, because I’m going to admit some things inside of you that no one can know about.
Starting with a confession I’ve only ever admitted to myself.
I’m in love with Gio Colombo.
Yes, I’m 16. Yes, he’s 26. No, I don’t care.
Has he given me any sign that he’s in love with me too? No. You don’t know this about me yet, Diary, but I’m hard-headed. I’m as stubborn as they come. So, you see, Gio Colombo doesn’t have a chance of dying before he loves me.
I’m talking dancing in the rain, public declarations, extravagant gifts, unbelievably dirty sex and long nights cuddling type of love.
If it were up to me, we’d already be engaged. But even though he pretends not to be, my man is an honorable one. He won’t touch me before I’m 18, I know it. Which is a damn shame because I can’t keep my hand out of my panties when I think about him anymore. My man is sex on a stick I’m telling you. He’s toned and tanned and has the most wonderful dark hair I’d love to run my fingers through. The skull tattoo on his thigh makes my heart pound when I see it, which unfortunately isn’t often. I have to wake up as early as dawn to see him taking a run, or sneak into the gym carefully to watch him there.
He’s magnificent and I’ll have him.
I don’t give a single fuck about if Lorenzo doesn’t like it. He’ll get over it.
Well, that’s it for confession #1 Diary.
-A.V.
Dear Diary,
Your hiding spot is still secure, but I’ve been busy. Cheerleading has been exhausting this past month but school is always easy so small victories I suppose.
I have another confession for you.
This one’s a doozy.
You ready for this?
I fucked myself thinking about someone else.
Now, you may be thinking, ‘so what?’
Well, let me tell you Diary, it’s crazier than you think. It wasn’t just anyone else, it was motherfucking Luca Caruso.
*sigh*
I guess I haven’t told you about him yet, but maybe I should so that you will understand how bad this is. Luca is my enemy.
Well, that’s being a little dramatic.
But we DO NOT get along.
He calls me a brat a lot. I return the favor and have deemed him ‘jerk’ or ‘asshole’ when I’m feeling really testy.
Luca wasn’t born into my circle like Gio was. I met him when I was 10 and he was my age. It was really weird seeing hair so blonde on a boy. All of my friends have always had darker hair, but his fluffy hair was almost white. Cristo, and those eyes. Deep, stark blue, Diary.
Nevertheless, I was 10 so I don’t remember much of the first year of knowing him. He was always with Lorenzo and Gio anyways.
As time went on, we continued our mutual distaste for each other, but hot fucking damn he became attractive as I got older. I’ve never felt like I feel about Gio toward Luca, but I won’t pretend I haven’t admired him from a far before. Of course I have, he’s buff and his smile is unfortunately contagious. (Even writing that down feels wrong).
I used to enjoy talking to him when I was 11-12. It was easy because I didn’t give a shit about what he thought of me. It was a relief to keep the pressure off, so sometimes I sought him out just to talk. I also may have given him a priceless family heirloom…
Anyways, I thought of him.
I thought of him hardcore Diary. Shit, I’m blushing thinking about him. In my head? Luca is a filthy sex God and I fear he may be that in reality to. So, now I’m going to have to think about him again. I’m not delusional, it’ll happen.
Does that make me a pervert?
A sexual deviant?
A whore?
Probably.
I’ve already accepted the fact that I’m a hypersexual virgin. Oh yeah, I’m a Virgin. How pathetic right? 16 years old and only ever orgasmed as a result of my own hand. Does that count as confession #3? I guess confession #4 would be that I’m saving myself for Gio.
Now that's pathetic.
Or romantic or both.
Yet now I’m having doubts. If Luca propositioned me, I would do it. I wouldn’t have a choice. My mind has already shifted to imagining him ripping my clothes off when he walks by.
So, in other words, I’m screwed.
Confessions 2-4
–A.V.
Dear Diary,
It gets worse.
I’m definitely a mental slut.
I picture them both now sometimes. I picture my older brother's best friends taking my virginity nearly daily. Sometimes it’s just Gio, sometimes it just Luca but holy fuck when it’s both of them? I nearly combust.
Is this shameful?
Should I be seeing a therapist or something?
I know you can’t answer me, but it would be cool if you could.
See, I don’t have a sister to ask, and as much as I love Marco, I’m NOT asking him about this. Though, I bet he’d listen and answer honestly. Lorenzo would probably have me brainwashed into thinking I can’t have Gio or even Luca if I loved him. So, he’s a definite no.
Mamma would probably hear me out, but she’d only worry. So, Diary, you’re all I’ve got.
I love you for that.
Confession #5
–A.V.
Dear Diary,
Oh my God.
I must be seriously fucked in the head for what I just did.
I fingered myself watching Gio lifting weights. I watched him through the door in the corner of the room. There’s no camera facing it so I stand there sometimes and gawk, but this time, my hand ended up down my leggings.
I came so fucking fast.
I moaned and squirmed and thank fuck for men working out with music blaring because he didn’t catch me.
Would he have yelled at me if he did?
Punished me?
Touched me?
I can’t think about it again or I’ll drench another pair of panties. I have to go. I think I need church today. I don’t even like church but fuck I might need Jesus on this one.
Confession #6
–A.V.
Dear Diary,
I almost died.
Part of me wished I did. I didn’t know how peaceful death could feel until I was holding on by a thread.
Then I heard their voices.
“Hold on, Arianna.”
“Don’t you dare die on me, princess.”
“Doc is gonna fix you right up, just keep breathing.”
“Open your eyes, princess. Keep them on me, okay?”
Gio was there at first, helping Lorenzo get me out of the building. Oh yeah, this was at a school dance. Someone tried to kill me or rape me or both. But I passed out and when I woke up on and off, it was just me and Luca.
His eyes. So damn blue.
It’s been four days.
Mamma hasn’t left my side and Luca hasn’t said a word to me. I think I closed my eyes too many times and made him upset.
They were so heavy, Diary. So damn heavy.
Lorenzo, Marco and Gio have all checked in on me. I have to stay in bed or papa freaks out. He says I need rest. I’m bored, Diary. So. So. Bored.
Confession #7
–A.V.
Dear Diary,
Sorry I stopped writing to you. After my last confession, I was sad for a while.
I told Marco about my love for Gio. He didn’t judge me because it was an emergency meeting. We have those sometimes. It’s like super-secret sharing time. He’s sort of like you I guess, but obviously I censor somethings. I’m not going to tell my baby brother about my sexual proclivities.
I’m nearly 18 now. A lot has happened.
Still a Virgin, still hopelessly in love with a man I can’t have, still fantasizing about Luca too. I’m going to the University of Milan. Confession #8, I don’t care about college. I just want love. I want his babies. I want to get married and sail off into the sunset. I’m a dreamer.
Confession #9, I think my friends are going to abandon me. No one is going to the same school, no one really texts me anymore.
Confession #10, my last confession wouldn’t bother me if I had him.
Confessions 8–10
–A.V.
Dear Diary,
I’m 18 now. College is boring and I have no friends. Part of me thinks I did something to make it so I don’t deserve them.
Maybe I don’t deserve anything.
Confession #11
–A.V.
Dear Diary,
I’ve decided to make this my last confession.
I’m 19, nearly half way through college and I hate myself.
There it is.
I’ve laid it all out there for you.
I. Hate. Myself.
I don’t know when it happened. I think when you feel unloved for so long, you feel like you aren’t worth loving. So as much as I want to love myself, I don’t think I can.
Confession #12
–A.V.
Dear Diary,
I lied. THIS, will be my last confession entry.
I don’t think I hate myself anymore. I’ve decided to push that energy toward college instead. I hate Uni.
I want to go home.
So I am.
I’m finishing the semester at Lorenzo’s house while he’s on his honeymoon. I thought about writing to you about Katherine but I’d run out of pages. That girl is seven shades of crazy and I love her. She helped me. She made me feel loved and I think I realized I should love myself too.
Confession #13, I still love Gio.
Confession #14, I’m going to make him mine.
Confession #15, I’m still a Virgin, for now.
Confessions 13-15
–A.V.
THE END
Coming Soon
02/14/2022
A Second Chance Romance Novella:
Burn Baby Burnt
03/28/2022
Book 3 In the Challenge Night Series:
I’ll Conquer Anyplace
Date To Be Announced
Book 4 In the Challenge Night Series:
We’ll Survive Anyways