Kagan could see me if he wanted to. He is just choosing to keep this rift between us because he supposedly thinks it is doing me good. He stubbornly acts only like my teacher when I see him for class now. His training sessions are few and far between. He’s always busy, and I hate it.
I hate that this is making me distrust him and that it’s turned me into this hateful person, but now such a hate and lack of closeness is killing anything we have left.
I gave myself to him, trusting him with my heart and my body. Was that a mistake?
I send Kagan a text, because if I don’t, then how I feel will consume me and possibly ruin what might still be there. I want to bridge the gap we’ve created if I can.
Hey. Jake’s back. Though you probably know that already. He’s training with Dru right now.
Now, all I can do is wait and stare at my phone like one of those pitiful teenage girls that does nothing but sit around and wait for some guy to say something important and he never does. I do get something back, luckily, but I don’t know how I feel about the response.
Yes, I do. Sorry I couldn’t be the one to tell you, but I hope it was a good surprise. Out with my dad. Talk to you soon.
So, he can’t even say that he misses me back? Nothing affectionate at all?
Of course, he’s out with his dad. While I don’t have anything at all against Julian, he has been a great help where he didn’t have to be, going above and beyond head to head against the Magistrate which not even Adriel, an archangel, is willing to do. But his father is still part of this world of elites. He still has these outdated opinions about the social life of upper-class witches. It’s something that I stayed out of most of the time because the time that I spent with my mom and dad I was young, and she was pregnant with my brother; I never got to meet.
And then moving in with my uncle, he’s too busy to be a part of all of it. He does his work and does it well, and the Magistrate has always respected him for that, but he sought no part of all of the social scenes the same way that my parents would have been.
Maybe it’s my mistake for not trying to get more involved. Maybe I need to insert myself into these social situations so I can be the woman on his arm, and we don’t have to play this song and dance anymore, that hurts the both of us.
Maybe if I just tell him that, if I reach out with the idea, it will be possible. Then, we can stop acting like petulant children.
I wish I could be there with you. I wonder if there’s a way to do that. Put in a good word for me. After all, I am a Graywood. I am entitled to this life too. I’ll throw my name in the hat to date you.
I add a wink face for good measure.
It takes about 10 minutes to respond, which tells me he’s in the middle of some really boring conversation. At least, I hope it’s that and not trying to get rid of some girl who is all over him.
Cute, but you don’t have time for these things right now. Anyway, while you are entitled, the universe has given you a different path. Will make time soon. Sorry, can’t talk much tonight. Call me later?
I don’t know if I want to call him tonight. The universe didn’t choose this for me, and it feels cold that he has even said that. And, I don't think I should be making so much effort anymore for someone who can't even make time.
We've fought in the past and come back from it, and I will admit much of that was my fault. But this time, I don’t know that there is anything to come back for, even though I hope that when the Magistrate is handled, and all is well, we can find our way to each other again.
If I were far less selfish, I would let him go entirely and let him have this normal life with a normal girl. But the thing is, didn’t I offer that once? And he shut me down and said he wanted me, not normal, and look what he's doing now anyway.
I don’t like it one bit.
I look back up at Jake and what I see has me horrified as his whole body becomes covered in flames. He charges at Dru, looking almost like a feral animal, and I recognize his loss of control from that night he attacked me. I stand up and ready myself as backup, but I’m sure that Dru has this under control. After all, he is a demon, and the one training me. I doubt this puts Dru in real danger, but I do worry about Jake.
I stand up and make sure Ursula and I are both at the ready in case we need to step in. But he quickly calms himself, then he looks down at his body like he has done something terrible. It’s like he doesn’t recognize the person he’s become.
I know the feeling all too well, and I hate this for him. I just want to give him a big hug, but I don’t know if he needs that right now or what.
Before I can say or do anything, he takes off running, away from all of us. Dru looks confused and angry, glaring daggers in Jake’s direction. I put my hand up. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of this. He just needs time. Nobody understands that more than me.”
“I’ll be coming by later for that kiss, then.” I flash him a smile and then blow a kiss in the air before I turn around and take off after Jake, hoping that I’ll be able to catch up with him and talk some reason into him. He must be feeling horrible right now. Like a monster. He needs to understand that it’s just about learning to control it. And using it for the right thing.
I bet he needs a break from all the paranormal talk anyway. Maybe he needs a normal night. Between friends. I think I need that too.
“Jake! Jake!” I call after him, running at top speed. He is a hard one to catch up with, but luckily Ursula is able to bound in front of him and cut his path off. I don’t know where he was headed to, where he is staying, but we are halfway to my apartment now.
“Jake, where you going?”
“I don’t know. It was just instinct to run this way, since I’ve been staying…” He doesn’t say it out loud, probably just in case we’re being watched or listened to. I don’t know if we would be beyond the walls of the school, but considering I was given an apartment out here and Kagan has one as well, I guess we could be. And being in Salt Lake, the Magistrate could be everywhere. Who knows?
“Look, I know this must be frightening and overwhelming. I know what it’s like for your body to suddenly be not something you know anymore. To feel like a monster or a freak. You were born a Blood Witch, so you don’t know anything else, but I’ve had to go through all these transitions and practically alone. Other than you, of course. And I’m so grateful to that. It’s my turn to repay your friendship. Let me just invite you into my home and let’s just have a friend night. No paranormal talk unless you want to talk.”
My hands are up in surrender as his eyes dart around as if looking for another escape. Now he doesn’t look like a feral animal, but just a scared one who is desperate to find a way out. I feel so bad for him, but I know sympathy isn’t going to help him now. He needs normalcy. And that, I can at least try to give him one night of. Even though sometimes I personally forget what normalcy feels like myself.
Finally, he nods, following me to the apartment. Ursula decides to take the lead, and I see in her head that she really wants to nip at his heels, making sure that he stays with us. It’s a little amusing, and I try hard not to laugh because he might take it wrong.
When we get to my place the quiet hits me. No one spends a lot of time here anymore, not even me. I’m usually training. I have stayed away as much as possible now because I realized I don't like the silence and emptiness of it, without my men around like they once were.
And Jake. Who has left this big hole in my life until now.
“It’s nice to have you here. It really is,” I tell him, locking up behind us.
“Even though this place reminds you that I hurt you, almost killed you? And now you’re something different because of me.”
“Are you sure you want to talk about this? I said no paranormal talk, but if you must know, I’m fine. I’m dealing with the consequences, and I have three really impressive teachers to help me through it. What happened to me was done to save me. You, you couldn’t help what you did. You were an e
xperiment. And that’s okay.”
“So, you know what happened to me? I don’t even know myself. I guess as much as I do need a normal night, I really just want the answers. I want to know why I’m like this. What happened to me, what my family was told. I was told so little. I don’t remember anything. Nothing other than the fear of going into the vampire dens or being sent to find pure demons and then the facility where I was locked down and monitored. I would just go in and out of consciousness. I thought every time this is the time I’m going to die. My life is over, and my family and friends wouldn’t even get to say goodbye to me.”
I fold him into my arms, in a hug, the kind I would give to my uncle or Vivi if they were hurting. Jake is my family, and I don’t know how I have gone so long without him.
"I am so sorry for what happened to you. If I could have stopped it, then I would have. I was calling and calling, and asking around to try and find out what had happened to you when I’d heard nothing. Vivi was worried sick about you. It was horrible."
I pull away and make sure he is sitting down and ready to hear what I have to say, though I don’t plan on holding back. He wants answers, and he deserves them. I don’t want to leave him in the dark the same way that I have been in the dark for nearly a year, about what I am and why I was made this way.
I start by telling him about what I was told the first time I got any information - that he was sick and not doing well.
I tell him how I felt it was odd and finally got a little bit of information out of Adriel and Dru though it wasn't helpful. And finally, how he just showed up at my place, attacking me the morning after I lost my virginity. And then Dru finally told me just recently what actually happened to Jake and what happened to me for that matter.
I sigh with it all off my chest and look at Jake, my hand reaching out for his.
He seems to have taken it all in stride, which makes me wonder if he is much stronger than I have given him credit for. Maybe stronger than I am.
"So, that Magistrate, they aren’t the good guys anymore?" Jakes asks, his face stoic. I know this means a lot to him, considering the sentencing of his mother and the banishment of his stepfather and stepsister.
"It's still hard to tell who we can trust and who we can't. If I had to guess Reyes is not a good man, and Julian is. The rest are kind of up in the air."
Jake goes quiet for a moment, but then he smiles. "Enough paranormal talk for now. Let's have a friend night like we said. Tell me about these guys of yours. How are things?"
I grimace at the question. As much as I love the fact that Jake can be a guys' guy and my gossipy best friend, I don’t know what to say about the complications that have become my three very different men.
"Well, Dru is the one I see the most of now. I told you I finally lost my V-card to Kagan but now things are....hard." I swallow back tears and look away to get my composure. "He has been pretending to want to be a part of high witch society to please his father and the other members of the Magistrate. He thinks it gives us an advantage, but instead it takes away our time together and shoves him in the path of being set up with other witches. Pretty, rich, normal ones."
Jake frowns at me. "Kagan doesn’t strike me as the type to like those girls. I don’t think it’s easy what the two of you are up against, but I have always seen that boy loves you. You'll work through it, I’m sure. But what about Adriel? I'm assuming you haven’t seen much of him since you didn’t know I would be back. He would have told you if he was around."
I swear I can almost see Adriel in front of me. He is imprinted in my mind, and missing him is so hard. "He’s stayed away since telling me the truth. I'm sure part of it is not to appear at all like we might be an item, but it also might have something to do with him thinking I'm upset. I'm not, but that’s how he thinks." I shrug. "I'm sure the Magistrate will send him back my way sometime soon. He has a job to do in teaching me my angelic powers, right?"
Jake chuckles a little in agreement.
"But that’s enough of me, it’s your turn. Does Vivi know you're okay?"
The chuckling stops abruptly, and he doesn’t even have to tell me the answer for me to know it.
I pull out my phone and dial her number before he can protest then shove it in his hand. "She was worried sick. I have never seen her that way. Go talk to her." I point to my bedroom and send him off for some privacy and then go out to my balcony for good measure.
The moon is full, and I lean over the railing to get a good look at it.
My birthday month is almost upon us now, and there is a chill in the air that wasn't there before. It seems like it’s been so much more than one year with everything that’s happened to me since the last one. It’s like I have traveled on a million journeys, though I am only hours from home.
I don’t notice him at first, teetering on the edge of the other side of the balcony, one leg swinging off as if to defy gravity and the fact it could easily pull him to his doom.
Though, I guess a fall won’t kill a demon.
Dru always has to have his grand entrance, and the daredevil comes into focus. I jump back, grabbing my chest while gasping.
"You looked lost in thought. I didn’t want to disturb you."
"You've got to stop scaring me like that. Just because you’re a demon doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk," I tease him, and he just laughs. He knows I'm not actually angry with him.
He leaps down onto the concrete and gets right up against me, pushing me up against the sliding glass door.
“I was here about that kiss.”
His whole body pressing against me, his lips graze against mine before pressing hard, almost violently. I am right there with him, my fingers reaching around to dig into the back of his neck where if he was a human I would bruise him.
My other hand moves to slide down his body and across the back of his jutting hip bones, loving the way it feels and then finding his back dimple.
There's this energy that passes back and forth between us, and I imagine I am a succubus and he an incubus, each of us feeding on the other, sucking one dry only for the other to take it right back.
Then, the moment is cut short when Jake joins me outside to bring my phone back. "Oh, sorry to interrupt."
"That’s okay, I only dropped by for a moment," Dru says. Then he leans down to say one more thing right into my ear. “We’ll get our time, Riley. It will be hotter than hell.”
I turn around, my nerves buzzing with what he said, and I go back inside with Jake to see how the conversation went. I have a duty to my friend tonight, and I’m kind of thankful to Dru for being so understanding of it.
Jake and I stay up and talk all night, and I don’t even care that there is class tomorrow. It’s Friday, anyway. Last day of school for the week. I’ll get there either way.
***
Jake insisted he walk back to campus early without me as not to draw attention to me any more than there already is. I get ready a little early myself and then leave, taking it slow and just enjoying the view and the change in the weather.
As I pass through the gate, I don’t like the fact that there's a group of girls waiting for me. A group of girls that I know doesn’t like me very much.
I continue walking, trying to ignore them as they surround me until they begin to heckle at me and close in, hindering my movement. I know I shouldn’t panic because I have the power and the means necessary to do something to them, to get rid of them, but that in and of itself is the problem. I can either reveal the fact that I have demon blood now by accident, or I could kill them. Neither of which I want to do.
One of them, I think her name is Delilah, spits on me. At least that was on my shoe and not anywhere like my face.
“What’s your problem?” I ask.
“You’re my problem. I’m sick of you getting all these privileges just because you’re a Graywood. Your own apartment. A teacher for a boyfriend. An angel of the Magistrate to train you? It’s just that none of it’s fair. We all
worked hard to be here. We all keep working hard. You failed, and they brought you right back because of your stupid boyfriend and his father. You don’t belong here. You don’t deserve it. And you’re not one of us anyway. I don’t care if you have blood from some holy angel, you’re not a witch anymore. Leave.”
I would expect things like this if I were still a Blood Witch, or known as a Blood Witch, but everyone knows by now that I’m not that. I really will never get this kind of blind hatred. “Look, I don’t understand why you think that I am getting special privileges, I realize it may seem I do on the outside, but either way I won’t fight with you. If you have a problem, take it up with the administration.”
"No, I think I would rather take it up with you. Straight to the source."
Chapter Six
Ursula growls and barks, trying to get the girls to back up, but even I know there are too many of them to keep this from getting nasty. And I fear she will get hurt trying to defend me.
I dart my eyes around, looking for a weak spot in their formation, but they have ganged up on me too tightly. They knew enough about me to know it would be my first instinct to run. Instead, they want to force a fight.
A fight that nobody is going to win.
"Excuse me, but is there a problem here?” The voice makes me feel like my veins are singing to me. He always makes me feel that way, but even more so when we haven’t had any contact in a while.
I suck in a breath as Delilah looks over my head, looking up at him, pretending not to be afraid though I can see her throat bob with a gulp.
The formation has now become loose, some of the girls backing away from me entirely. It’s clear that even though they may agree with her dislike of me, these girls would not back up Delilah if she got caught in the act.
“No, I guess not,” Delilah finally says after her stare off with an angel. I am both relieved and upset at the same time.
I turn on Adriel, ready to chastise him for coming to my rescue like that. I am not exactly a damsel in distress, not to mention the fact that the more things he does for me openly, the more likely it is that others will figure out our little secret. I already fear that every time I see him and my heart beats so loud and fast that someone can hear it, and they will rat us out.
Demon Witch (Paranormal Hunter Academy Book 3) Page 4