by J E Mueller
When Key had first appeared in my life, I hadn’t realized she was going through something similar… just more extreme. She had tried resisting too, but hiding her gift had only resulted in tragedy. After Key finally accepted and started working with it, she could do so many great things. I wasn’t expecting great things, but maybe with more knowledge, I’d have more control. Maybe I could filter how this gift worked and when I didn’t want to be overwhelmed by the negative side of it, I could shut it off. While that was unlikely, I couldn’t just sit idly and not try to learn more.
I kept hitting dead ends. It was a tiring process, and more often than not I found myself trailing Lydia on her adventures, which had quickly enough become ours. The Blessed were so used to seeing me that they now automatically assumed I was going with Lydia. They didn’t even worry if I was qualified enough. Being trained by them had helped build their faith in me.
Now, if I could find someone again to teach me what I wanted to know, I’d be good to go. I’d catch up in no time. Of course, nothing was that easy. My gift was rarely mentioned, and the whispers of it were spoken like it was a curse. My first teacher had disappeared, which caused my mother even more concern. I hadn’t really gotten to learn anything from her, and she had been working with some Blessed… but I doubted the two facts were connected. She was part of the Order of the Black Violets. A demon hunter.
While it was sad she had vanished, it was far more likely she had met her untimely end doing the job she was passionate about. There seemed to me like there was no way seeing ghosts and helping them cross over could have hurt her.
Then again, I knew nothing about spirit guiding.
With a sigh, I knocked twice on the door and pushed it open. “Anyone home?” I called into the silence.
“Just me,” I heard my brother call from across the house.
I entered and shut the door behind me. “How’s it going?” I tried to ask casually.
Marc came into the living room. I noticed he was wiping blood off his arm. “Eh, minor hunting accident. Had a trap spring back wrong and it sliced my arm.”
“Oh, that sucks.” I didn’t know what else to say.
He shrugged. “It’s not as bad as it looks.” We awkwardly stared at each other for a moment before he asked, “So what brings you back to town?”
“We were nearby and I might sometimes miss my favorite brother,” I teased.
Marc rolled his eyes. “I’m your only brother.”
“Guess that means I get to miss you even more, then.” I smiled sweetly. “What have you been up to?”
Marc sat down on the sofa. “A lot of the same old. There’s thankfully nothing too exciting to talk about. We have had a lot more foot traffic. It seems the guards being here so much has spread word of our little town. Don’t know if that means it’ll get bigger, but trade keeps getting better. Did you know Aunt Juni started making her jewelry again? Those enchantments are a big hit.”
“That’s great!” I was excited to hear that. She rarely made them after Lee had become a teenager. “Is she still focusing on luck based ones?”
“Luck is pretty popular, but she’s making a variety. I’d go see her if you’re staying long.” Marc paused and looked around the quiet house. “You’re probably not staying very long though, are you?”
“No,” I confessed. It almost hurt to admit aloud. “I’ll probably be off tomorrow or the day after.”
Marc nodded. “Mother won’t be happy.”
“I can’t help that.” I ran my fingers through my hair while sighing. “There seems to be no happy middle ground here.”
“Well, I can’t argue that. I’d say stop by more, but I think that would just make parting ways worse,” Marc agreed as he checked his injury over. The blood seemed to have stopped. “But I can’t help but side with her. What good is going to come from learning about this blasted magic of yours? I get that it did come in handy bringing Juni back but… Is learning going to help? If not, you’re probably just going to be disappointed. Having to patch things up after that will only be harder.”
“If I don’t find that out for myself, this will never stop haunting me. Look, this gift is weird, but good things can come from it. If people like Key can make their magic useful, even after they were Cursed, I’m sure I can do some greater good here.” I leaned on the chair nearest to the door. “We don’t know why I suddenly happened to have this gift. We don’t know what it can do, and even worse, everyone here who knows about it treats it like the plague. I’m still me.” I raked a hand through my hair. “Why does everyone else get encouragement to learn, enhance, and practice their magic and all I get is shhh, it’s okay, we’re just going to ignore it? It’s all for the best?” My frustration was showing, and I couldn’t help but pace around the room. “I need to know at least the basics of this if I’m ever going to be happy.”
“I get that, Tells…” Marc sighed. “Listen, Juni mentioned she thought everyone was coming home today. You know her weird magic. Let’s just join them for dinner. We should enjoy some time together.”
I left Marc, letting him finish cleaning up, and headed over to Lydia’s. I knew I had some time before we’d be expected to eat, but not much. I felt a little on edge after my discussion with my brother. I wasn’t sure if he really understood how I felt. Sure, he knew what it was like on a small level to be told, ‘no, don’t practice your magic today’. However, he was never told to hide any of his abilities.
I was done hiding.
The more I thought about what my family had kept telling me for over a decade, the more angry and frustrated I felt. Worse off, no one seemed to know anything about my gift. The few that had heard rumors about it kept acting like it was a curse. The lack of information felt like a curse, but I was not Cursed. My soul was not taken, bartered with, or lost. The Black Violets wouldn’t let someone like that in their hold without an overly special exception.
Key had only received that exception because of her aid in a rescue mission.
I wondered what her life was like growing up. Did anyone ever talk about her curse with her and try to convince her not to learn more, or had she been afraid of it enough on her own that she didn’t seek an answer until everything was already overwhelming?
By the time I arrived at Lydia’s, I was fuming. Taking a few deep breaths, I tried to compose myself before knocking, but the door opened before I had a chance.
“Hey crabby face, what’s wrong?” Lydia asked.
I glared at her for a moment but pushed the subject aside. “Nothing out of the ordinary, how is your family doing?”
“Wonderful, as always,” her mother called from inside, “Come on in Tella. It’s always nice to see you.” Her voice sounded like honey. The warm welcome almost sang through the house.
Inside I could smell something delicious cooking. Apple pie maybe? Lydia’s mom always seemed to be making something delightful.
“Thank you, Mrs. Lawngale,” I said as I entered and instantly felt more relaxed. “What are you baking today?”
“Apple turnovers,” she replied as I moved into the kitchen, Lydia right behind me.
“I was just filling in Mommy about our more recent adventures,” Lydia said as she skipped over to grab a cooling tart. She split it in two and handed me half. “And you seem to be avoiding your mother.”
I took a bite. It was still much too hot, but it was worth the slight burn on my tongue. “Not true. I checked in at home but only Marc was there. We had a conversation. I’m sure it will be nearly word for word what I talk with my mother about later.” I blew on the tart carefully until it was safe to eat.
“But you haven’t sought her out. That sounds like avoiding.” Lydia smirked.
“I know exactly where she is. I just needed a few moments,” I mumbled. The tart was thankfully worth this harassment.
“I sense your mother is still not understanding your choice to go on adventures?” Mrs. Lawngale asked. She paused what she was doing to look at me. “I
f possible, it’s always best to leave things on a high note. I know you girls try to be safe, but it’s dangerous out there.”
We both nodded. Her warning wasn’t simply a mother’s concern. She had lost friends to demons and humans alike. The world was a cruel place at times. Lydia, thanks to all her Blessed adventures, had also lost friends. Thankfully, I had not - yet. Still, I saw enough spirits to know things may not go the way one would hope.
“I know, and I try. It’s just frustrating,” I replied tiredly.
“What seems to be the exact problem?” Lydia’s mom leaned against the counter and wiped her hands on her apron that was already covered in a variety of stains.
“Her taboo magic,” Lydia supplied helpfully.
“Ah,” Mrs. Lawngale said with a sigh. “There is always fear when there is a lack of understanding. Even in a place where magic is celebrated.” She motioned around the room. “At one point, almost everyone in town has been in this kitchen for one reason or another. No one’s without their secrets, and between my healing abilities and my cooking, I’ve heard many people tell tales. There’s no reason to judge because you can see all levels of otherworldly creatures. I’ve worked with angels and slain demons nearly my whole life. And yet, here I am, also keeping that secret from the masses. I hope you find someone who understands and can help you with this talent. Life is a gift, and the magic we have is an extra blessing.”
Lydia wrapped her arm around my shoulder. “I’m sure there are answers out there. It’s just a little tougher to find in between all this demon slaying and making this world a better place.”
“Maybe if you trained a little more we would get through these missions quicker.” I nudged her jokingly. She had more than enough training under her belt.
“Hey, better idea. Why don’t you join team Blessed?” She nudged back.
I held in a sigh. “It’s a complicated decision and I want to solve my own personal mission first.” Didn’t we just have this conversation two or three days ago?
“That does give me an idea,” Mrs. Lawngale mused. “Have you asked the angels about where this gift comes from and if they can point you in the right direction? I’m sure they must know something.”
“It is a good idea, and I have,” I replied as pleasantly as possible. “They actually aren’t sure where it comes from, though they do know it’s not a curse. But,” I stressed the word, “They also can’t tell who has the gifts either unless they are directly witnessing it being used. For example, me seeing them and talking to them is the only way they were alerted that I have this talent.”
“Fascinating.” Mrs. Lawngale nodded. It was an interesting fact to take in.
“Wait.” Lydia turned to me puzzled. “I thought they could sense every gift? They can enhance just about anything!”
I shook my head. “This isn’t standard magic. It’s not a gift you’re born with.”
“I mean, you did say it came out of nowhere but I thought something just flickered on and you couldn’t turn off seeing all these beings,” Lydia replied, motioning vaguely.
“Well, when we finally find more information I’m sure it’ll all make sense.” I shrugged. “Until then, it’s a cliffhanger and I need to be heading off to Auntie Juni’s.”
“I hope your evening goes well,” Mrs. Lawndale said pleasantly as she turned back to the task at hand. “And remember, try to end things on a good note.”
“I’ll do my best,” I assured her as I let myself out.
When I arrived, Key was standing outside reading a piece of paper.
“What’s up?” I asked. I was surprised by how serious she looked.
“Nothing I can make sense of,” she replied as she shoved the paper into her cloak pocket.
I raised an eyebrow and waited for more explanation.
With a sigh, she quickly relented. “One of the seers here says the winds of change follow my shadow. Of course, they are out of town and provided no further explanation. Just a message for when I was due to arrive.”
I snickered. I couldn’t help it. “That is a bad one. I don’t even know anyone with shadow magic. It’s unlikely you’re going to encounter magical shadow problems. What else could it mean, though?”
She shrugged, but her eyes widened after a moment. “We’ll worry about it later. Let’s have some dinner.”
“What did you realize?” I asked curiously as she stepped around me to go inside.
“Nothing important.” Key closed off the conversation with a wave.
“Realize what?” Lee asked, peering out of the kitchen.
“Random note,” Key replied shrugging but gave Lee a “don’t ask further” look. “How goes dinner?”
Lee watched her closely but chose not to question further. No doubt they’d go over what she had figured out later. “Done, just waiting for Marc now.”
“He isn’t here yet?” I asked, surprised. I had left before him but I did make a detour.
“Running behind as always, that one,” my mother complained as she came out of the kitchen. “I bet he didn’t go straight to a healer for his arm.”
I nodded. “He was at home when I stopped by.” I wondered why he’d stop at home if he was supposed to be getting it checked out.
“I told you it would have been fine for him to stay here,” Juni said from the kitchen. “Now who knows when he’ll be here?”
“How about now?” Marc replied, joining us in the living room. His arm was looking much better. A thin pink line was all that remained of his injury.
“What took you so long?” Mother asked, annoyed. There seemed to be more at play than just this instance.
“Everyone was busy.” Marc shrugged. “So, I went home, cleaned up the best I could until someone was free.”
Mother looked exasperated at him for a moment, but after seeing his arm was looking much better she eased up. “Fine, fine. Let’s go enjoy some food then. Dinner’s ready now.” She waved us into the kitchen.
After dinner, I helped my mother and aunt with the dishes. I could hear everyone else laughing in the living room. The kitchen was fairly silent. Juni’s small talk kept failing as tension mounted. At least I did hear that Marc recently seemed to be getting more clumsy. He had one mishap after another and he always seemed to be getting detoured on the way to getting things healed. Juni suspected a crush was to blame but Mother didn’t think so. Again the kitchen fell silent for several moments.
“What do you say to brunch tomorrow?” Juni finally asked something that might turn into a real conversation.
“I love the idea,” My mother almost snapped. Her words were harsher than needed. She turned her head slightly to glare at me. “Think you can stick around long enough for that?”
I was surprised by the amount of anger in her voice. “Yes?” It was more of a question than a statement. “I did want to visit.”
“Staying home would fix that. This nonsense is going to get you killed. I never know if I’ll ever see you again!” She threw her hands up in frustration. “I feel that there won’t be a next time. That I won’t see you again.”
“Don’t say that, Mommy…” I replied, heart caught in my throat, but I kept control over my emotions. “I will see you again.”
Juni looked torn for a moment but seemed to decide something. “Tella will see you again.” She nodded firmly. I knew that tone of voice. Her magic said it was true.
My mother sighed, knowing better than to argue against her sister's magic. Juni was never wrong. Still, her anger didn’t seem to subside. Instead, Mother seemed to permanently keep her lips pressed together to avoid more conversation. After another minute she walked out of the room. There wasn’t much left to do, but it still hurt that she was so mad at me. Juni gave me a comforting pat on the back.
“Having kids grow up is hard. She’ll come around,” Juni said soothingly, handing me another dish to dry and put away.
I hoped she was right.
The dishes were done quickly after that, and I
joined the others in the living room. Their laughter and stories were captivating, but my smile didn’t reach my eyes. I was tired of these circular conversations. It was a small miracle Juni could end the conversation with such a simple certainty. Why couldn’t Mother just be happy for me? I needed to do this. Every fiber of my being begged that she would understand someday soon.
3
I awoke early in the morning. Not a sound could be heard in the entire house as I happily slipped out, leaving only a simple note saying I would return for brunch. The chill outside was sharp, the sun not yet waking most of the sleeping town. Part of me debated dashing to my destination but I decided to walk. The cold air helped to clear my head - not that it was needed for this.
As I walked out of the back part of town and down a small path into the nearby woods, my mind drifted back to all the tension from last night. Leaving so early would probably add to Mother’s anger. She wouldn’t like that I was coming here again. I didn’t blame her and even respected that silent wish by sneaking out extra early.
The graveyard was quickly within sights, and I slowed my pace even more. It wasn’t much in the way of a place for the dead, but the town made do. Headstones of varying shapes and sizes were in neat little rows. Flowers were placed directly on some of the grave sites, while the forest was slowly reclaiming the others. My destination was one of those unkempt graves. Moss covered the small, cracked headstone. Weeds and wildflowers alike almost completely hid the grave. I didn’t bother to clean it off when I sat down next to it. It didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve it, and yet… Here I was.
“You’re back,” a familiar voice greeted me.
I didn’t turn around to greet her. “And you are as well.”
“It’s been a while since you’ve stopped by.” Her voice was casual.
“You haven’t aged a bit,” I replied just as casually.
“You haven’t even looked at me.” I could picture her rolling her eyes.
“Does that make it less true, Marella?” I sighed, glancing over as she walked by me.