Standing beside Matt, Amy shook her head.
‘God, you should see your expression. You’re such a prude.’
They’d just finished tidying up in the café, and the combination of their proximity to their guests and Audrey’s overly loud voice meant it was impossible not to hear what Christian liked to do to Anna in the playroom. Though apparently Maxim didn’t do it to Alessia, much to Audrey’s disappointment.
Did it make him a prude because he’d never read a book that had graphic sex in it? He liked to think he wasn’t, that he simply preferred having sex to reading about it.
There’s more to the stories than sex. He sighed as he recalled Lottie’s words. She clearly thought he was judging, putting them in a box labelled Shallow, or Ignorant, when in fact he was envious of their group and of the way they’d gelled so easily. He found making friends difficult.
‘If being uncomfortable talking about sex with people I don’t know makes me a prude, then yes, I suppose I am one.’ He glanced again at the group. ‘It’s not how I imagined a book club to be.’
‘What were you expecting then?’
He had a feeling if he wasn’t careful, Amy would call him worse words than prude. ‘I used to attend a book club many moons ago.’ Before work had sucked him in so hard he’d barely had time to sleep, never mind read. ‘The discussion was more … structured.’
Amy raised a brow. ‘Is that your way of saying they analysed the book, rather than talking about sex while drinking gin and eating cake?’
He let out a bark of laughter. ‘It does sound rather chaotic when you put it like that.’
‘I think chaotic sounds fun.’
The wistful note in her voice had him looking sharply over at her. It was the first time she’d showed an interest in anything since they’d moved down here. ‘Would you like to join them? I can ask Lottie, I’m sure she’d—’
‘No.’ Amy glared back at him. ‘I don’t need my brother talking for me, you know. I’m not ten.’
Damn it. Why did he not have the right words, even when it came to his own sister? ‘I know you’re not. Sorry. I was just trying to help.’
‘I know you were, but guess what, there are some things you can’t fix.’ She pulled off her apron and shoved it into a bag. ‘Me and Dad, we’re not your responsibility.’ Her eyes snapped to his tie and she gave it a tug. ‘Maybe you should start sorting yourself out before you interfere with us. You talk about a fresh start, but you still look and sound like a stuffed shirt. I mean, God, you’re so uptight it’s ridiculous. You’re still dressed like you’re going to the flaming office.’
She marched out of the small kitchen and he winced as he stared down at his tie. Christ, she was right. He was in no position to lecture the pair of them. As much as he’d banged on about the fresh start, the new him, all he’d actually done was move to a different place and swop an office for a shop. He’d not changed.
With a muted curse, he yanked the tie off and undid the top button of his shirt.
‘Oops, sorry.’ He jerked his head round to find Lottie standing in the doorway, the amusement in her eyes making them spark like diamonds. ‘Is that as far as you’re undressing, or should I leave?’
Embarrassment fought with humour. Shrugging away the former, he forced a smile. ‘I think that’s enough for now.’
‘Audrey’s rather lurid descriptions getting you hot under the collar?’
Clearly Amy wasn’t the only one who thought he was a prude. ‘No.’ Her eyes widened and he knew he had to provide a reason he’d taken his tie off, or she’d think him rude as well as a prude. ‘My sister informs me I’m too uptight. Apparently I look like a stuffed shirt.’
‘Ah.’
‘Did my predecessor wear a suit?’
Her brow wrinkled and he wished he could say she looked less attractive when she frowned. Fact was, the moment he’d glanced up to find her in the doorway, the air had hummed with awareness and prickles of attraction had raced across his skin. ‘He mainly wore a baggy jumper in an unsuccessful bid to hide his belly.’ Her gaze dipped to his waistline. ‘You don’t have that problem.’
Unconsciously he felt himself straighten – as if to emphasise he was lean and trim? God, he had it bad. ‘What do you think I should wear?’ And wow, that was not a question he’d ever asked anyone.
Her cheeks flushed and he groaned inwardly. Way to go, Matt, now you’ve embarrassed her. ‘Whatever you feel comfortable in. It’s your business.’
The awkwardness of the conversation, his total ineptitude when it came to talking to this gorgeous woman… He gave her an embarrassed smile. ‘Sorry, that was a totally inappropriate question.’ He waved a hand down his body. ‘It’s just, I actually feel comfortable in a suit. I’m kind of at a loss what to wear otherwise.’
If she had him down as some sort of nutter, it didn’t show on her face. Instead she smiled, and God, he could feel the glow from it spread through him, warming everywhere it touched. ‘You’ll figure it out. Try out some looks and see what sort of feedback you get.’ Was that his cue to invite her to drop in and rate his choice next time she was in the vicinity? Before he had a chance to test his theory, to find out if she was, ever so cautiously, flirting with him, she changed the subject. ‘I came to get more tonic. Amy said she’d left some on the side.’ He shifted out of the way and she grabbed a bottle from behind him. ‘Thanks. Audrey has no clue how much gin she’s pouring out. Keeps saying she can’t see clear liquid with her cataracts, but secretly I think she just wants to get us all plastered.’
Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of crying.
‘Oh crap, sounds like Freddie’s decided to join the party.’
‘All that noise, from someone so small?’
Lottie grinned. ‘Hard to imagine, huh? Now you can see why I didn’t bring Chewie, too. Sorry, we’ll try and keep him as quiet as we can.’
‘It’s no problem,’ he started to say, but she’d already vanished.
An hour later, the book club disbanded and the shop locked up, he let himself into the house. ‘Amy, Dad, I’m back.’
The door to his dad’s sitting room opened. ‘Amy’s in her room. Looked a bit upset, so I thought I’d talk to you before going to see her.’
One day, just one day, he’d like to come home to a smiling face. Someone who wanted to see him. He supposed he must have had it with Patricia once, but too many bad memories had erased the good. ‘I thought she wanted to join the book club, so I said I’d talk to Lottie for her.’
‘But she doesn’t want you interfering,’ his dad supplied. ‘She wants to sort things out herself.’
‘Yes.’
His dad gave his face a silent study before letting out a deep sigh. ‘It’s hard to watch someone you love struggle, but sometimes that’s all you can do.’
Matt stared back at him. ‘Are we still talking about Amy?’
His dad avoided his gaze. ‘Tell me about this book club.’
He could spot evasion when he saw it. ‘You don’t usually ask about the shop.’
‘Aye, but you don’t usually have a group meeting up there to discuss erotica.’ He waggled his bushy eyebrows.
‘It’s not erotica,’ Matt found himself saying. ‘The books are about more than sex.’
‘Happen they are, but Amy said they were talking about that Fifty Shades. Any salacious details?’
‘You should read the book if you’re that interested.’
‘Maybe I will.’
As they shared the same poker face, it was hard to tell if his dad was asking to avoid a more difficult conversation, or if he was just trying to connect. Either way, Matt was grateful for the olive branch. ‘They did discuss this one scene. It took place in some sort of playroom, though nothing like the playroom we had as kids…’
By the time he’d finished telling the tale, his dad was hooting with laughter. It was only later, when he settled into bed, that Matt realised it was the first time he’d seen the old guy laugh since hi
s mum had died.
Chapter Eight
April meeting, nominated book:
Beautiful Player by Christina Lauren
‘I thought this book was amazing.’ Heidi fanned her face with the book in question. ‘The chemistry between Will and Hannah, wow. The words scorched off the page.’
‘The sex scenes were really hot too,’ Lottie added, then started to laugh. ‘How come we always start talking about sex?’
‘Maybe because not many of us are getting it.’ Sally pointed to herself. ‘I know I’m hardly setting any sheets on fire right now. I also know you, Lottie Watt, haven’t had any since Henry left, which was, what, two years ago?’
Lottie rolled her eyes. ‘Eighteen months, actually, not that any of us, besides you, are counting.’
Audrey huffed. ‘That’s nothing. It’s been so long for me, I have to read about it to remind myself which bits go where.’
‘Me too,’ Heidi added wryly. ‘Dating after my divorce was such a disaster, I decided it was easier to stay single. Nowadays I bake instead, but good as a chocolate brownie tastes, it’s not that good.’
‘At least you’ve all got excuses.’ Gira’s voice came out even more quietly than usual. ‘I’m married, with children old enough to know to give their parents privacy. But I’ve not had sex in three months.’
‘Wow, that’s worse than me.’ Sally, clearly realising she’d been insensitive, gave Gira a sheepish smile. ‘Shit, sorry. I wish I could blame post-natal hormones but I’ve always opened my gob without thinking.’
‘She has,’ Lottie confirmed, but Gira wasn’t looking at them. She was staring down at her hands. Aware she must be at the end of her tether to have admitted something so private, Lottie touched her arm. ‘Will it help to talk about it? Or do you want Sally and her big mouth to talk about something else?’
‘I don’t know.’ Gira drew in a deep, shuddering breath. ‘I’m not a talker. Maybe we should just keep discussing the book.’
‘Okay.’ Lottie gave Gira’s hand a squeeze. ‘So what did we think of Will? He’s a player, but so lovely to Hannah.’
‘In the beginning I wasn’t sure about him, but then he was so sweet to her.’ Sally huffed. ‘Still, I’m glad Paul never slept around before I met him. I’m not sure I could have trusted him. I mean, once a guy’s been used to playing the field so much, is he really going to stay with one woman?’
‘Trust is so important.’ Gira looked up and there were tears in her eyes. ‘I don’t know if I can trust Ryan anymore.’ She shook her head, reaching across the coffee table for a napkin. ‘There I go again. Sorry, I’ll be okay in a minute. Let’s get back to the book.’ She smiled sadly. ‘That is what we’re all here for.’
‘Actually, it’s not.’ Lottie looked around her, catching everyone’s eye in turn. ‘As I see it, we’re a club first, a book club second. I would like us to build a group that enjoys each other’s company. Sure, we all have a common interest in books but that’s just a starting point. We’re here to have a chat, a laugh. To support each other.’
‘This is a safe space, love,’ Audrey added. ‘Look at me, foolish old woman, talking about kinky sex, but none of you judged me for it.’
‘And what about all that moaning I did last month about my empty nest,’ Heidi supplied. ‘I haven’t been booted out. Yet,’ she added with a grin at Lottie.
Gira opened her mouth to speak but she was beaten to it by eight-week-old Freddie who started to cry. Sally threw her hands up in the air. ‘God, if anyone needs to get booted out, it’s me. Look what I subject you guys to every month.’ She bent to pick him up and started to pace up and down. ‘I’ll take him outside. That way you can talk without having to dial your voices up to extra loud.’
‘No, it’s fine.’ Gira looked up at Sally. ‘We should just discuss the book.’
Jiggling a fractious Freddie, Sally gave Lottie a despairing glance. They’d been friends so long, Lottie knew exactly what the look said: I need to take this baby away or Gira won’t feel able to talk.
Behind her, Lottie heard the sound of a male, clearing his throat. She turned to find Matt, and once again did a double take, just as she had when she’d seen him earlier. Black jeans, grey Hugo Boss jumper over a white collared shirt. Clearly, he’d taken his sister’s words to heart and this was his version of more casual. Don’t think about how hot he is. Especially don’t think about how surprisingly vulnerable he looked when he talked clothes with you at the last meeting.
‘Sorry to interrupt.’ His voice, deep yet smooth, sent her belly fluttering. ‘I’m popping out to drop off an order. I’ve got my phone if you need anything.’
Freddie started to cry again and Sally let out a strangled laugh. ‘I don’t suppose you’d take this wailing baby with you.’
For a brief moment his face betrayed his feelings: surprise, disbelief and a big dollop of wary. Then his usual guard came up. ‘I could…’ he began cautiously.
Sally leapt at the opening. ‘Really? You’d take him out for a bit so we can actually hear each other talk? I mean, you are walking, yes, not taking the car?’
‘I am walking,’ he confirmed.
Just then his eyes found Lottie’s and heat burned through her. Crap. Don’t blush, don’t blush. ‘Don’t feel you have to. We can take turns walking him up and down.’
‘No, it’s fine.’ His mouth lifted at the corners. ‘What could possibly go wrong?’
Such a small smile, yet it did crazy things to her hormones. ‘You mean because he’s not a dog with a fondness for footwear and a strong dislike of whistling?’
His brown eyes warmed. ‘Exactly.’
A few minutes later they watched as Matt pushed the pram past the bay window. It was April but still chilly, so he’d thrown on a charcoal wool jacket. If she’d half-hoped his switch from suit to casual would make him less attractive, she was screwed. He was more dangerous now, because he seemed more approachable. Especially pushing a pram.
More like a guy she could see herself dating.
She turned to find Sally giving her a knowing look. Bugger. ‘Not now,’ she hissed, seeing her friend gearing up to say something she wasn’t ready to hear. She glanced sideways at Gira, silently indicating there were more important things to focus on.
Sally nodded, but her responding smirk told Lottie she wouldn’t be off the hook for long.
‘I know why you asked him to take Freddie out.’ Gira looked over at Sally. ‘It was nice of you.’
‘I pushed my screaming baby onto an unsuspecting guy so we could get some peace. It wasn’t that nice.’ Sally smiled. ‘But as we won’t be interrupted for a while, why don’t you tell us about Ryan. He’s your husband, right?’
‘Yes.’ Gira glanced at each of them in turn. ‘I haven’t mentioned this to anyone, not even my family.’
‘Sometimes it’s easier to talk to people who aren’t so closely involved.’ Lottie nodded down to the glass in Gira’s hand. ‘It gets even easier when you’ve had one of Audrey’s G&Ts.’
Gira smiled, though it looked tired, as if the weight of what she was carrying around had become too much for her. ‘Ryan’s out late most nights. He says it’s with work but I think he’s having an affair.’
Having said the words, she burst into tears.
As Matt pushed the pram back along the seafront towards the shop, he wondered if there was a speed limit which babies in prams weren’t supposed to exceed. If there was, it was likely he’d broken it.
Mercifully, Freddie was quiet. Not asleep, though. His bright eyes looked up at Matt, as if to say, Who the hell are you? Or possibly, Why are we going so fast?
‘My experience with babies is from a long time ago,’ he told Freddie in answer to the possible question. ‘So it’s in both our interests to get you back to your mum as soon as possible.’
A few minutes later he breathed a sigh of relief as the shop came into view. But as he passed the bay window, he groaned. Damn, that looked like one heavy conversation
. Gira seemed to be crying. Lottie had an arm around her and the others were gazing at her in sympathy, Audrey pouring more gin into Gira’s glass.
‘Not sure we should go in just yet.’ He looked down at the wide-eyed Freddie. ‘We’ll keep walking for a bit.’ He’d been married for six years and gone through a divorce. Seeing a woman cry wasn’t new to him, but he didn’t think Gira would thank him for bursting in right now.
Just then Lottie caught his eye through the window. She bit into her lip, gaze drifting to Gira, clearly wondering what she should do. He motioned with his hand that he’d carry on walking.
He saw her mouth, ‘You okay?’
He nodded and set off again. ‘We’ll give it another ten minutes.’ He eyed little Freddie. ‘Don’t let me down now. I’d rather like to hand you back as you are now. Happy. Quiet.’
He wondered how much of that desire came from wanting to appear at least slightly competent in front of Lottie.
It turned out the extra ten minutes was eight minutes too long. By the time they reached the bookshop, Freddie was exercising his lungs again. Leaving the pram outside, Matt scooped him into his arms and tried to remember his mum’s instructions from twenty-odd years ago. ‘Come on, mate, don’t make me look like a muppet.’
Mercifully, the boy quietened as Matt stepped back inside.
‘There you are.’ Sally rose to her feet. ‘We were starting to think you might have kidnapped him. At the very least, taken him to the pub for some male bonding.’
‘Sorry, I thought…’ His gaze flew to Gira, and then to Lottie. I thought you needed more time.
Lottie smiled warmly back at him. ‘Ignore her, she’s got a weird sense of humour. What she meant to say was, we’re really grateful to you for taking him out.’ Her eyes found his. ‘And not rushing back.’
Matt was so trapped in Lottie’s clear-eyed gaze, he was barely aware of Sally walking towards him.
‘Definitely that, too. You’re a bloody marvel.’ Sally reached to pick up the tiny bundle, who grumbled as he was removed from Matt’s shoulder. ‘Hey, come here, little monster. Poor Matt’s had enough of you.’
The Beach Reads Book Club: The most heartwarming and feel good summer holiday read of 2021! (The Kathryn Freeman Romcom Collection, Book 5) Page 7