He picked up the pen on his desk, trailing it between his fingers as he thought how to reply. ‘The job was intense, high stress, long hours. It wasn’t doing me any good.’ He gave her a wry smile. ‘This is me learning to relax.’
Her expression looked amused but she didn’t comment. As she focused on the fusebox he glanced down at the dog, who cocked his head and gave him a look through his shaggy fur. He found reading humans difficult enough, never mind canines, but if he had to guess, he’d say it was an I’m watching you sort of look. Protective.
‘Right, that’s the hard bit done,’ she said a short while later. ‘I just need to do some checks.’
Thirty minutes later she declared it in full working order and he walked with her to the door, the dog glued to his owner’s side.
‘Thanks for fixing it.’
She smiled. ‘Thanks for the business.’
He should let her go, yet how could he when she looked at him like that? As if she felt the same chemistry he did. The air crackled, his body pulsed and all sensible, rational thought left his brain. With a groan of surrender, he angled his head towards hers, slow enough that she could back away.
She didn’t.
That first press of his lips against hers. He felt the connection in every part of his body, from the curl of his toes to the tightening of his groin and the rush of blood to his head.
What are you doing?
Her mouth opened to let him in and as her tongue tangled with his, he pushed the doubts away, desire surging as he explored the sweet heat of her. The more he plundered her mouth, the tighter he drew her against him, the hotter he felt, his knees starting to buckle as her body melted against his.
He was enjoying himself, relinquishing control. Giving in to pleasure.
But after you’ve kissed her, what then?
Beside them, Chewie began to growl. With a groan, his breathing sounding ragged in his ears, Matt pulled back.
‘Don’t apologise.’ Her voice was husky, her pupils impossibly large. ‘Please.’
‘I wasn’t going to.’
‘Okay, good.’ Those beautiful eyes scanned his face. ‘But you’ve got the look of a man who’s done something he regretted.’
Damn it, he should have left well alone. He was confusing them both. ‘I don’t regret it.’
‘There’s a but coming. I know there’s a but.’
He exhaled, rubbing at the back of his neck. ‘I’m not sure I’d be good for you. In fact I’m pretty certain I wouldn’t be.’ Not yet, at any rate.
‘Shouldn’t I be the judge of that?’
Matt glanced down at the dog, who’d stopped growling but was giving him the evil eye again. ‘Chewie appears to agree with me.’
‘He’s not used to seeing me kiss anyone.’ Before he could ask why on earth not, she added, ‘Looks like he doesn’t have to worry about it happening again though, so he’ll be happy.’
Her smoky grey eyes were filled with hurt and in that moment there was nothing he wanted more than to pin her against the wall and kiss her again, at least for the next hour. But then he thought of what had happened with Patricia, and took a mental step back.
Lottie opened the door. ‘Goodnight, Matt.’
A moment later she was gone, and he was left with the faint citrus smell of her perfume and a feeling he’d let something special slip through his fingers.
Chapter Twelve
June, nominated book:
The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang
Lottie looked around the group as they avidly discussed this month’s book and felt a burst of pride. It wasn’t stilted and awkward like Eve’s book club had been. This was fun. Freddie had joined them in a bouncy chair tonight and he looked right at home, watching them while chewing on every toy he could get his hands on. Oh, and eyeing up the mountain of cake Heidi had placed in the middle of the table.
‘That line when he first kisses her,’ Audrey said excitedly, waving her hand at nobody in particular. ‘It was something about sharks.’
‘She tells Michael it makes her feel like a shark getting its teeth cleaned by a pilot fish,’ Gira quoted.
Audrey hooted with laughter. ‘That’s it. I spat my tea out laughing at that one.’
‘Yet the book was also sexy, and surprisingly romantic,’ Heidi added wistfully. ‘Pretty Woman in reverse. Before I started reading I thought I wouldn’t like Michael because he was an escort, but I didn’t count on him being so patient and caring.’
‘And so frigging hot,’ Sally added, making Amy giggle. ‘Ah, you can laugh,’ Sally glanced over at Amy. ‘I hear you’ve found yourself a hot guy to kiss.’
Amy went scarlet, but unlike on previous occasions, she didn’t avert her eyes and stare down at the floor. She gave another shy giggle. ‘Shaun and me went for a drink on Saturday.’
‘And?’ Sally prodded. ‘Did he kiss you?’
She shook her head, but her eyes smiled. ‘He said he wanted to, but he was scared I’d think it was too early, so he’d save it for the second date.’
‘Whoop!’ Lottie cheered alongside the others, yet she also felt a pang of sadness. She’d found her own hot guy to kiss, but he didn’t want a repeat. God, she’d never met anyone so complex. Why had he kissed her, if he’d no intention of doing it again? It was like one big tease. Here’s what you could have had. And wow, yes, she definitely wanted more. He didn’t act like a guy who played fast and loose though, quite the opposite. As for all that stuff about not being good for her … sure, she could see that a guy who’d made such a big shift in his life, who was clearly trying to overcome family issues and grieving for his mum, wasn’t the simple, uncomplicated fun she was looking for. Still, the choice was hers to make.
A glance at Gira told her she, too, was having unhappy thoughts. There was no opportunity to ask her how things were at home though, because the very man Lottie had spent the last week obsessing about was walking towards them. Today’s outfit, grey polo shirt and the same dark jeans as before, fitted beautifully as usual, outlining a body that looked lean, athletic and sexy as hell. Yet where was the fun, the colour? She’d seen enough snippets of humour to know he wasn’t as sombre as the greys and blacks he seemed to favour.
‘Sorry to interrupt.’ Dark eyes skimmed over them before resting on Lottie, causing her heart to bump against her ribs. ‘Dad’s just been on the phone. He said something about being promised cake?’
Lottie burst out laughing. ‘Cheeky sod.’ Matt raised his eyebrow in that expressive way he had that apparently saved him having to talk. ‘Tell him the deal was, he gets cake if he’s here in person.’
‘Ah, okay.’ He slid his hands in his pockets. ‘As I’m here, do I get a slice?’
Heidi beamed. ‘Of course.’ She reached down and cut an eye-wateringly large slice of one of the cakes.
Matt’s eyes bulged as she handed it to him. ‘I’ll need to run a few more miles tomorrow morning.’
‘Nonsense.’ Heidi’s gaze dropped to his trim waist. ‘It’s carrot cake. Positively good for you. It will help you see in the dark.’
Matt’s gaze found Lottie’s. ‘I like the dark.’
His low tone and the memories it evoked caused a sizzle in her belly, but it was quickly extinguished when she realised they were all staring at her. Groaning inwardly, she slunk into the chair.
What was he doing? She couldn’t work the man out.
His eyes left hers and he took a mouthful of cake. ‘My compliments, Heidi. This tastes incredible. Do you bake for a living?’
Heidi positively glowed, her cheeks turning pink. ‘That’s kind of you but no, just for fun.’
Matt glanced over at Amy and the siblings exchanged a look that Lottie couldn’t decipher.
‘What’s today’s book?’ he asked after he’d taken another mouthful. She had the impression he wanted to retreat to his office but was hovering out of politeness.
‘The Kiss Quotient,’ she answered.
His eyes widened, gaze once more pressing he
rs, and she felt a hot flush creep over her face.
‘It’s about a woman with Asperger’s who asks a male prostitute to give her lessons in sex,’ Audrey added, thankfully breaking the moment.
Matt was clearly used to them discussing sex now because he hardly flinched. ‘Interesting.’
‘It is.’ Once again, their gazes collided. Once again, Lottie felt that flutter in her stomach.
‘Right.’ He cleared his throat. ‘I’ll let you get on. Thanks for the cake.’
The moment he was out of earshot, Lottie steeled herself as the group turned to stare at her.
‘He said he likes the dark.’ Sally’s eyes narrowed on her. ‘And you went all … fidgety.’
‘I did not,’ she protested.
‘You blushed when you told him we were discussing The Kiss Quotient.’ Heidi wagged her finger. ‘No denying that one.’
Gira gave Heidi a sly smile. ‘I feel it only fair to point out that you blushed when he said he liked your cake.’
Heidi choked on a laugh. ‘Okay, I’ll admit to getting a bit flustered. In my defence, it’s been a long while since I got a compliment from a handsome young man, even if it was just for my baking skills.’
‘Your cakes are amazing,’ Amy said, glancing shyly at Heidi.
‘Thank you, dear.’
Amy opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it. Picking up a napkin, she started to fold it. Just when Lottie thought she was out of the woods, Amy spoke again. ‘The lights went out in the shop the other night.’ Her gaze darted round the group. ‘I was there with Lottie but she told me to go home, she’d fix them.’
‘Are you telling us you left Lottie and Matt alone?’ Sally raised her eyebrows suggestively. ‘In the dark?’
‘I am.’ Amy turned to Lottie, her eyes full of questions.
‘Well, well.’ Sally smirked. ‘It seems our leader has been keeping something from us.’
Lottie threw her hands up in the air. ‘Flipping heck! A dodgy switch caused the lights to go out. I fixed it and put in a new fusebox last week. End of.’
Audrey looked horrified. ‘Lottie Watt, you mean to tell me you were alone in the dark with this town’s answer to Mr Darcy, and you didn’t take advantage of it?’
Everyone laughed and though Amy joined in, Lottie could see she was holding back, quietly watching her.
At the end of the meeting, as everyone began to leave, Lottie touched Amy’s arm. ‘That was embarrassing. I’m sorry you had to hear it.’
‘It’s fine. I mean, it was more embarrassing for you, them trying to pair you up when you’re not interested.’
Agree and move on. It was the easy option. Lottie liked Amy though, and she didn’t feel right lying to her. ‘I wouldn’t say I’m not interested.’ It’s your brother who isn’t. At least I didn’t think he was.
Amy’s eyebrows shot up. ‘You like him?’
Lottie felt a dart of hurt on Matt’s behalf. ‘You don’t think your brother is likeable?’
‘Well, yeah, sure he is. I just, well…’ She twisted her hands. ‘You’re so nice. Not that he’s not nice, obviously. But I wouldn’t have put you guys together. He’s kind of serious.’
‘Who’s serious?’ Sally piped up, Freddie now settled in his pram.
‘My brother.’
Sally laughed. ‘Yes, but he’s also hot. If anyone can loosen him up, Lottie can.’ She grinned at Lottie. ‘Make sure to say goodbye to him from me before you leave.’
She wanted to protest that she was leaving now too. After all, there was no need for her to seek Matt out and tell him they’d finished. He knew what time they left.
Yet this was also a perfect opportunity to sort out those mixed messages he was giving.
Matt cursed as he realised he’d put the same order through twice. Now he had a second copy of Jam Making for Beginners to find a home for.
All that talk of the dark, of kissing, of sex. He’d not been able to focus.
At the light tap on his door, he turned to find the reason for his distracted state.
Wearing a vivid turquoise top, faded denim jeans and canvas shoes with flamingos on them, she looked vital, radiant. She must have been out in the sun because her skin held the hint of a tan, her freckles more prominent.
‘I’ve come to let you know we’ve finished.’
‘Okay, thanks.’ You don’t want her to go, so think of something to say. ‘How were the sex lessons?’ He felt his face flush as her eyes widened. Shit, of all the questions he could have asked her. ‘I was referring to the book.’
Those beautiful grey eyes sparkled with amusement. ‘I know.’
He groaned, leaning back in the chair. ‘Then help me out of my misery and tell me what the verdict was on the book.’
She laughed. ‘Everyone enjoyed it, me included. One of the best I’ve read in a while. Funny, but also poignant in places. A real love story.’
Their eyes met and he felt a tingle race down his spine. He could deny it all he liked, but this attraction wasn’t going away. It was getting harder to ignore. ‘I take it no serial killers were involved?’
She bit into her lip, eyes still dancing, and he felt a burst of pride. Not so cold now, am I? Yet he’d made Patricia laugh in the early days, too. By the end, he’d made her cry.
‘No serial killers,’ she confirmed. ‘Just a quirky, intelligent heroine and a gorgeously sweet hero. I haven’t picked up a thriller since I bought that book.’
‘Bought and then returned.’
She grinned. ‘I heard the shop had an excellent refund policy.’
‘The book was very entertaining, full of dark humour.’ When she raised an eyebrow he shrugged. ‘I’d been meaning to read it. You returning it reminded me.’
‘It wasn’t just so you could rub my nose in it by gloating about how good it was, the next time you saw me?’
He had to laugh, because, okay, he had been that shallow. ‘Maybe.’ His eyes lifted to hers. ‘But it was also so I could have a conversation with you.’
The air hummed: attraction, anticipation, unspoken feelings. ‘Why did you say you wouldn’t be good for me?’
He might have known she wouldn’t leave it alone. But the heated looks he’d given her earlier, his last comment … he hadn’t left it alone, either. ‘I wasn’t good for my wife.’
Lottie paled and took a step back. ‘You’re married?’
‘No. Not anymore.’ He dragged in a breath, trying to steady himself. This wasn’t him. He didn’t talk about personal stuff.
Her stance relaxed a little. ‘How long ago did you divorce?’ Her face paled again. ‘Oh God, please tell me I’m right and you divorced. She didn’t…’
‘We divorced.’
‘Okay, good.’ She winced. ‘I mean good that she didn’t die, not that you divorced, which must be tough to go through.’
‘It was.’ He was acutely aware he was giving two-word answers.
‘I went through a break-up, and even though we weren’t married, and it was all amicable, it hurt for a long time afterwards.’ Her expression turned unusually serious, her eyes sad. ‘It still does.’
How was she able to talk about it so easily, when he could see it was still painful? ‘I’m sorry.’ There he went again with the two words.
‘Thanks, but if it was meant to be, we’d have found a way round it. Henry wouldn’t have moved to the US, or I would have followed him. Probably.’ She shook her head. ‘We’d been going out for four years, practically lived together for most of it, though I was technically still living with my parents at the beginning. I thought we’d get married one day.’ Her shoulders lifted as she let out a deep sigh. ‘It haunts me sometimes, wondering if I did the right thing staying here. It feels like we gave up on each other.’
He wanted to tell her he was haunted by his divorce, too, though in his case it was by the realisation he’d been the cause. But years of keeping to himself, hiding his emotions, meant he kept the focus on her. ‘You didn’
t try a long-distance relationship?’
‘No. A relationship with someone who was hardly ever there didn’t seem fair to either of us. What we had was so special, you know? We didn’t want it tarnished, our relationship limping along, weighed down by increasing frustration and bitterness until we ended up not even liking each other.’
It sounded so much like the narrative to his marriage, Matt felt it like a physical slap. His expression must have betrayed him because she covered her face with her hands. ‘Oh God, that’s why you said you weren’t good for your wife, isn’t it? Your job meant you had to work long hours.’
How easy to blame it all on his job. ‘It was part of the problem, yes.’ Because he didn’t want to discuss his failings with the woman he fancied, a woman who was vibrant, open and so opposite to him, he stood, effectively ending the conversation.
As he walked with her to the door, his body was at war with his mind.
Kiss her, you know you want to.
Don’t be so stupid. You’d be giving the wrong message again.
‘How long have you had Chewie?’
His question took them both by surprise.
‘I took him in about fifteen months ago. Why?’
‘Chewie growled when I kissed you. You said he’d not seen you kiss anyone else.’ Why had he brought this up? Why hadn’t he just waved her goodbye?
‘He hasn’t. I got him a few months after Henry left. I think we recognised in each other that same feeling of being abandoned. Of needing company.’
He nodded, unsure where he was going with the question, yet stupidly pleased to hear that he’d been the only one to kiss her recently. ‘Do you still feel that need? For company,’ he clarified.
She shook her head. ‘What with Chewie, my family and friends, my job, the book club … I’ve got all the company I need.’
His heart dropped a little and he regretted asking the question.
But then she smiled. ‘Just because I don’t need it, doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be fun to hang out some time. If you fancy it.’
Relief whooshed through him, making him light-headed. For one blissful moment he imagined kissing her again, those soft lips against his, but with more urgency this time. He even took a step towards her, his hand reaching to draw her towards him. To feel her body against him, her curves against his hard angles. Her heat against his.
The Beach Reads Book Club: The most heartwarming and feel good summer holiday read of 2021! (The Kathryn Freeman Romcom Collection, Book 5) Page 11