by Meghan Sloan
There was a loud knock at the front door. Nicholas raised an eyebrow. “Expecting anyone, Wilmington?”
Silas shook his head, as mystified as his friend. He heard the butler opening the door and muffled voices. The next moment there was a knock on the parlour door. The butler stepped in, his face impassive.
“Miss Marina St. George is here to see you, sir,” said the man, staring at Silas. “Shall I send her in?”
Silas gasped in shock, staring at Nicholas. His friend looked surprised too but shrugged his shoulders.
“Of course,” he said in a slightly shaking voice. “Bring her in.”
They were both standing when she swept through the door. Silas noted that she was dressed and groomed elaborately. The pale, almost nun-like woman he had seen at her parents’ home the other day had vanished.
Her hair was tightly coiled into golden ringlets on either side of her face. Her gown was obviously expensive, a pink muslin and silk with a cacophony of bows and lace almost swamping it. She looked like the Marina of old: very beautiful, confident, and every inch a lady.
Her violet eyes flared slightly as they gazed upon Nicholas. “Mr. Turner,” she said, her nose wrinkling, as though a disagreeable smell had just wafted towards her. “What a pleasant surprise.”
Nicholas bowed slightly. “The pleasure is all mine, of course, Miss St. George,” he said in a slightly contemptuous voice. “Your recovery from your…ordeal is miraculous indeed. You look just the same as when I last saw you. Like old Queen Bess surveying her kingdom.”
Silas glared at his friend, but Nicholas ignored him.
Marina laughed softly. “You always were the witty one weren’t you, Mr. Turner? I see that hasn’t changed either.” She paused. “Still chasing after anything in a skirt, like in the days of old? I do hope not. It is starting to reek of desperation, is it not, at your age?”
Nicholas’s eyes narrowed. “Such a lady. I do hope that you have been kept in the custom that you are used to during your little…holiday. A brief sojourn from Bath to weigh up your options?”
Marina reddened. “I was cast adrift from my family and friends, with no memory of what has happened to me. I would hardly call it a holiday.”
Nicholas snorted. The air hummed with tension.
“Turner,” said Silas, a bit desperately. “I might take Marina for a brief walk through the garden. Help yourself to more whiskey until I return.”
Nicholas shrugged, sitting back down on the chair and picking up his glass. Marina’s nose flared, rather like a disgruntled horse. He could feel the anger simmering through her.
“Shall we?” he asked, stepping towards her. “The day is mild, and it shall be good to stretch our legs.”
***
In the garden, as they strolled, she was silent. Eventually, he could bear it no longer. He had to know why she had called on him out of the blue.
“Do not mind Nicholas,” he said, trying to smile. “He is ever the teaser.”
Her mouth tightened into a rosebud. “Indeed. I believe that Mr. Turner thinks himself funnier than he actually is, but I shall not waste time reflecting on him.” She paused. “I never could understand why you were such good friends with him.”
Silas sighed. “Nicholas is my oldest friend, and a good one,” he said slowly. “He has been a rock for me during this whole time. But I understand that you both have never got along.” He hesitated. “Perhaps we should not discuss him anymore, as you say. How have you been, Marina?”
She sighed heavily, turning to face him. Her eyes were large and swimming with tears.
“I admit, it has been hard,” she said in a pained voice. “I have been out only once, with Mama to the shops, and I felt like everyone was whispering behind my back. People can be so cruel.” She sniffed. “Do they not know how hard it is for me? To suddenly be returned to my life, a life that I have no memory of leaving?”
“Do not mind them,” he said. “You know how people are. They shall talk about you until the next thing comes along, and then you shall be forgotten. You shall be free to live your life again, as you desire.”
“But that is just it, Silas,” she said, her mouth twisting. “I cannot pick up my life as it was. And that is the only life that I desire.” She blinked back the tears. “Oh, my dear, is there truly no chance of love between us again? I remember how we were, and I simply cannot believe it.”
Silas’s heart started to pound uncomfortably in his chest. She looked so lost and forlorn, staring at him as if her whole world had plummeted to the ground. And he was the cause of her misery. He had the power, with a few well-chosen words, to make her happy again.
For one awful moment he was tempted to take her hand and whisper soft words of love and comfort to her. It seemed so familiar, and so natural, that it seemed cruel not to. They had once been the world to each other, as she had said. He had worshipped her, as a goddess. It would be so easy to pick up from where they had left off.
But then a vision of Alice reared into his mind. Beautiful Alice, when he had pressed her against the wall of the garden hut, pleasuring her with his hand. The look of sheer delight, and surprise, on her face, as the sensations had started to overwhelm her. She had obviously never experienced anything like it in her life, and he had gloried in watching her, being the first man to help her reach such heights of passion.
If they had been alone, he knew he would not have been able to control himself. He would have taken her there and then. He would have finally sunk himself into her warm sweetness, brought her to the summit of passion once more. He had not been able to stop dreaming of it since.
But it was not simply passion. It was love as well. And he could not give it up, even for Marina.
“We could still get married,” she whispered now, entreatingly. “Everything could be as it once was – all of the dreams that we once shared, could still come true.”
“Marina, you must not talk this way,” he said in a low, pained voice. “I know how hard it is for you. But I am engaged to be married to Alice now. I am so sorry for everything that has happened to you, but it simply isn’t going to happen between us any longer.”
She bit her lip. “Truly? You love her, more than you love me?”
“You must not ask such a question,” he said in the same pained voice. “We shared a great love, but it has passed, as it sometimes does. I shall always care for you, but I am committed to Alice. I love her and intend to make her my wife. I am sorry…”
She sobbed just a little, hanging her head. He felt like the worst person in the world. Why was everything so hard? Why was life not straightforward?
“You will love again, Marina,” he said fervently, taking her hand. “How could you not, being as beautiful as you are? As soon as you are well enough, you will resume your life, and you shall have suitors flocking around you, like bees to a honeypot. All will be well…”
She blinked back the tears. “You are so kind, Silas. The kindest man in the world. I am so sorry for all that you have been through. I am sorry that I put you through it, even though I did not intend to.” She sighed heavily. “And I am making things difficult for you again, aren’t I? I should not have come here today.”
“Marina, do not say that,” he entreated. “None of this is your fault. And I want to remain friends with you, even if we cannot be what we once were to one another.”
“I would like that, too,” she said, blinking rapidly. “I think that I need all the friends that I can get at the moment. Dear Lucy is devoted, as always, but I am suspicious of everyone else. I feel that they just want to be associated with me because I am now infamous in some way.”
“It will pass,” he said slowly. “Another scandal will claim their attention, and you shall be free of it. I promise you. Just give it time.”
She nodded slowly. “You were always so wise, Silas.” She hesitated. “Well, I suppose I should go. You have been kind to speak to me, but you have a guest…”
He felt a wave of
relief wash over him, accompanied by an almost equal wave of guilt. He wanted to help her, he truly did, but the strain of it was enormous. She was wanting more from him than he could give, even though she was being humble and gracious about it. All he wanted to do was retreat to the drawing room and sit by the fire with Nicholas, and not have to deal with it at all.
“I understand completely,” she said in a meek voice. “You are engaged to Miss Sinclair now and wish to honour it. I just had to know, for certain, that you were not making a terrible mistake.”
“I am not,” he said in a firm voice. “Alice is my fiancée, and that is the way it is. If things had been different…”
“I know,” she said, her voice breaking on a sob again. “If you had not met her, then perhaps we could all be what we once were to each other. But there is no use crying over spilt milk, now.” Her bottom lip started to tremble. “I shall take my leave, before I let melancholy overtake me entirely. I shall see myself out. Farewell, Silas.”
“Farewell,” he said, watching her as she quickly ran back to the house. By the way that her back shook slightly he could tell she was crying.
He hated himself in that moment. He was causing her pain, and it was terrible. She had been through so much. Her whole world had been tilted upside down, and she had landed back in the centre, completely disoriented. He could ease her pain, and confusion. All he had to do was call her back, and pull her into his arms, and she would be healed.
The guilt and self-loathing tasted bitter in his mouth. Perhaps he should do it. It would mean giving up Alice, but if it meant that Marina would recover quicker…?
Swiftly he strangled the thought. It would not be good for any of them. He would be causing Alice untold pain then, and himself as well. How could he choose to be with a woman he no longer loved and sacrifice the one that he did to ease someone’s pain? A recipe for disaster.
No, as abhorrent as it was, Marina just had to accept that this was the way things were now. He had thought that she had accepted it. But it seemed he had been too hasty in thinking that it was all stitched up so neatly.
Marina wanted him back.
He walked slowly back into the house, frowning as he contemplated it. She wasn’t being pushy about it. In fact, she was being very gracious, considering that for her it was as though their relationship had never stopped. For her, everything was just as it was. It was as if her life had been paused, that she had indeed been floating in some kind of limbo, until she returned to Bath. A very hard place to be in.
He entered the drawing room. Nicholas was exactly where he had left him, although he must have moved because the whiskey decanter had less in it than when he had left. His friend turned, watching him speculatively.
“Has she gone?” he asked in a clipped tone.
“Just this minute,” he said, sitting down and picking up his glass.
Nicholas shook his head. “That woman is bad news, Silas,” he muttered. “What did she want?”
Silas took a deep breath. “It seems that Marina is not quite as resigned to the new situation as she claimed,” he said slowly, sipping his whiskey. “She wants me back.”
Nicholas smiled ruefully. “I knew it was too good to be true. She is starting to show her hand again. What did you say?”
Silas sighed. “I said exactly what I said the other day,” he replied. “I told her I am so sorry, but I am committed to Alice, and things cannot be as they once were between us again. She seemed to take it graciously, at least.”
Nicholas shook his head. “She is not taking it graciously. That is all just an act, designed to make you feel sorry for her, so that you will be consumed by guilt and do as she wants.” He took a deep breath. “Do not let her manipulate you, Wilmington. Not if you truly want to keep Alice. She has a way of pulling the rug from beneath your feet, without you even realising it.”
Silas sighed again, taking another sip of whiskey. He didn’t want to believe Nicholas, but he was starting to have an uneasy feeling about the whole situation, deep in the pit of his stomach.
Chapter 19
Alice put down her embroidery, gazing at Charlotte. Her friend was bent over her own patch of muslin, skilfully weaving the needle in and out, biting her lip in concentration.
“You are such a skilled embroiderer,” Alice sighed, staring distastefully at her own work. “Mine looks like a dog’s breakfast, compared to yours.”
Charlotte laughed, placing it on her lap. “You are too hard on yourself as always, dear Alice. You just need patience with it, that is all.”
“I find I have little concentration these days,” she sighed, standing up and stretching. “Everything seems like marking time, until…”
“Until you see Silas Wilmington again,” finished Charlotte, smiling widely. “I swear I have never seen a lady so violently in love as you are, Alice! Why, you cannot stand being apart from him in the least, can you?”
Alice shook her head slowly. “When I am with him…it is as if the sun has suddenly come out, in the most blinding, dazzling of ways.” She hesitated. “And when I am not with him, all seems dull, and grey.”
“I think that you two should set a date very soon,” said Charlotte. “When you are married at last, then you shall never have to be apart.”
Alice sighed dreamily. The thought of spending just about every moment with Silas was so tantalising, she shivered. They would be able to talk endlessly. And at night, in the privacy of their bed chamber, he could do to her again what he had done the other day, behind the hut.
She shivered again with pure longing. It still amazed her that he had been able to evoke such wild sensations within her through the mere touch of his hand. It made her curious as to what else went on between a man and a woman when they were intimate. What other delicious pleasures awaited when they were finally free to lie together?
She was so lost in contemplation of it that she did not even hear the knock at the door. The first indication she had was the fact that Charlotte looked at her questioningly.
“What?” she stammered, reddening, as if her best friend could read her thoughts.
“There is someone knocking at the door,” said Charlotte. “Did you not hear it? Did your parents say that anyone was expected before they left on their day trip?”
“No,” said Alice, mystified.
The butler had obviously heard the knock because the next moment he appeared at the door.
“There is a Miss Lucy Oakley and a Miss Marina St. George here to see you, miss,” he announced gravely.
Alice shot to her feet. Her heart was beating as fast as a sprinting hare in her chest.
Charlotte had risen to her feet, too, staring at Alice in shock.
“Oh dear,” said Alice, feeling rather faint. “I suppose that you must send them in, Quinn.”
***
Alice and Charlotte were standing side-by-side when the two ladies walked into the room. Lucy was looking a little uncertain. But Marina St. George surveyed the room and the two ladies standing within it with quiet confidence, like a lioness surveying her savannah.
Alice’s heart lurched. Whatever travails had befallen her, while she had been missing, it had not affected her beauty. Marina St. George was simply striking, with her golden ringleted hair, wide violet-coloured eyes, milky flawless skin and statuesque physique. She was dressed in a shimmering ultramarine gown, which rustled slightly as she walked. Lucy, who was not plain at all, looked like a drab mouse by comparison.
Alice cleared her throat. “Miss Oakley,” she said, curtseying slightly. “And Miss St. George, I believe.”