by Meghan Sloan
“Cassie.”
“Ga...Mr. Tattershall.”
“We’re in a bedroom and you’re still addressing me formally?”
Cassandra bit her lip and smoothed her hands down her skirts. Was she blushing? Gabriel couldn’t really tell with her face half-bathed in flickering light.
“I didn’t come here for that.”
“Why are we here, then?”
“Because I didn’t want us to be overheard, and we can’t exactly meet at my home or your cottage. Not when people talk.” Cassandra glanced towards the window, “Emily’s the only one who knows where I am.”
Was that a warning? Gabriel didn’t know. He just waited, gripping onto the door handle so he didn’t give in to striding across the room and kissing her. The need for her was stronger this time, maybe due to the proximity of that awful-looking bed. It was curling in his stomach and spreading through his body. Especially down. His erection was pressing against his trousers, and Gabriel had to grit his teeth against the discomfort.
Just a few minutes, and then you can go. That’s all.
“I…” Cassandra lifted her chin and squared her shoulders, “I thought I’d tell you about Percy.”
“I see.”
Gabriel braced himself. She was going to be telling him that Percy had proposed to her. It was a little fast, Gabriel had to admit, but that was Percy. Once his nerves were dealt with, he went out and got what he wanted. It shouldn’t be a surprise that his little brother had proposed marriage to Cassandra. She could certainly complement him, and it meant that his plan to get her distracted was working.
But it’s not working, is it? You’re not getting Cassandra Seton distracted. You’re getting yourself distracted.
“I ended our courtship this afternoon.”
Gabriel blinked. That he had not been expecting. He stared at her.
“You what?”
“He...I…” Cassandra swallowed and looked away. “I told him that I didn’t love him. Not like that. He would be a good friend, a good brother for me, but I can’t love him as I should a husband.”
That should not have had Gabriel wanting to punch the air. He should be disappointed that his plan wasn’t working. And things had been looking up, apart from Gabriel suffering from the desire to have Cassandra for himself. He swallowed and tried not to look so relieved.
“And what did my brother say to that?”
“He accepted it graciously. He had suspected something, but he didn’t try to stop me.” Cassandra’s eyes narrowed. “So, what was your plan with us?”
“My plan?”
“Yes, your plan.” Cassandra stepped towards him. “You told me that Percy saw him and wanted to get to know me, but Percy said you claimed I wanted to know him more. What were you up to, Mr. Tattershall? What was your plan?”
Did she suspect something? Gabriel searched her face, but couldn’t see anything that gave him a definitive answer. He wasn’t about to tell her that he had tried to get her distracted with a young man who could sweep her off her feet; that would have Cassandra slapping him. He could, at least, be honest about the essential plan. She didn’t need to know about the end goal.
Not yet, anyway.
“What I said about my brother is true. He’s very shy when it comes to women. Socially awkward, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. He messes it up if he tries himself, and our parents want him to get married. So, I decided to pick out a girl for him and make it sound like she wanted to get to know him.” He shrugged, “I was just trying to play matchmaker for my little brother, and I guess it didn’t work.”
That was as close to the truth as he was willing to go. Cassandra still looked suspicious. She tilted her head to the side and regarded him closely.
“But why me?”
“I saw you, and I knew you would be perfect. And you are,” Gabriel grimaced, “but not for my brother, apparently.”
“Then for whom? Who would you say I was perfect for?”
She was going to make him say it. Gabriel should leave right now before he drew himself in any deeper. But it was too late for that; he was already in too deep. And with his next words, he was going to be wearing his heart on his sleeve. Cassandra would be able to see everything.
He closed his eyes and knocked his head back against the door.
“Me. I’d say you were perfect for me. But at the same time, you’re too perfect for me. Someone I can’t have.”
That was as close as he could get to it without saying how he really felt. Gabriel braced himself for Cassandra’s laugh, scoffing at his admission and telling him that it wasn’t going to happen. He was ready for the rejection.
But there wasn’t one. There was a rustling of skirts, and then he felt those skirts brushing against him. Fingers brushed against his jaw, and Gabriel opened his eyes to find Cassandra standing right in front of him. She didn’t look shocked or outraged at his response. She looked...curious.
“Why do you say that I’m too perfect for you, Gabriel?”
Gabriel. He loved how she said his name. Gabriel knew he should pull away or he was going to lose hold of his control altogether. But he couldn’t. Not when Cassandra was touching him like this.
“Because you’re too honest, Cassie. You’re too good, too compassionate. For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to blacken a woman’s name with my reputation. Those I have had affairs with I’ve kept discreet - apart from one obvious one, of course - but I knew if it came out that I had taken you as…” he winced, “well, the scandal after that would destroy you. I didn’t want to do that to you.”
“You wanted to keep me innocent.”
It wasn’t a question. Cassandra didn’t even look horrified. It was as if she had accepted it already. Gabriel swallowed.
“Yes. I love your fire, I love your passion, and I love your compassion for other people and your wit. What have I got for you? I’m an ex-gambler, a drunk, disowned from my own family because I took it too far. I’ve got nothing to offer you. I don’t think I ever will.” He looked away. This hurt to say it out loud. “I’ll never be good enough for you.”
#
Cassandra listened to him in silence. She had thought this would end up with her confessing her feelings for Gabriel, but it had turned into Gabriel all but admitting his. She had not been expecting that. And Cassandra had not been expecting for Gabriel to look so vulnerable, so out of his depth. Or for him to admit that he had nothing to offer her.
She thought he had plenty to offer her. He just didn’t realise it.
Cassandra cupped his jaw. He hadn’t shaved today, a day’s growth of beard making his jaw rough. He looked like he hadn’t slept, either. Had she done that to him?
“What would have happened if I had married your brother?” she asked softly. “What would you have done?”
“Given my congratulations and then left for a place where I wouldn’t meet you again.” Gabriel looked pained as he said it. “I wouldn’t be able to see you as I wanted, have you as I wanted. You’re the only woman in my life who’s made me feel off-balance, and yet I feel centred around you. Does that sound strange?”
“Not at all,” Cassandra murmured.
Because I’ve been feeling like that myself.
“It’s why I kept coming back to Seton Hall. I couldn’t stop thinking about you.” Gabriel grimaced, “I bet you’ve heard all that before from other men.”
“Not to the extent you are saying.”
“All I can do is speak honestly.” Gabriel looked at her, and Cassandra saw the pain in his eyes. He still didn’t reach out to her, as if he was afraid to. “What I feel for you, Cassie, is strong, but I know that it’s futile. All we seem to do is argue, and I know I’m not good enough for you. I was foolishthinking that I could keep my emotions separate. I can’t anymore. Which is why being in this room with you is incredibly difficult for me.”
“You’re scared of a bed?”
Gabriel swallowed hard. He moved his head a little, and Cassa
ndra felt the bristles scratch her palm.
“I’m scared of what I can do to you. I won’t ruin you like that. I have too much respect for you to do that.” He drew a deep breath, “I...I’ll take my leave now.”
But he didn’t move. It was like he was rooted to the spot. Cassandra knew the best thing to do was to let him go. And yet, after a revelation like that, how could she let him leave? She wanted him to stay as much as he wanted to have her. Gabriel seemed to be struggling to fight it.
Emily seemed to have guessed long before Cassandra did, if the small package she had slipped Cassandra before she went to find Gabriel was anything to go by. Cassandra wasn’t even going to ask how she managed to get a hold of what she found inside.
“I…” Gabriel drew up and started to turn away, “I’ll take my leave.”
“Gabriel.”
That made him stop, his back to her. Getting her courage, Cassandra stepped in close and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her forehead against his back.
“Cassie…”
“Don’t tell me to back away now, Gabriel. Don’t push me away. Please.”
She didn’t know if it was her pleading or that she said please, but it made Gabriel stiffened. He straightened up, his hand covering hers.
“I shouldn’t do anything further. You don’t deserve me, Cassie.”
“Why don’t you let me decide that?”
All she knew was that she didn’t want Gabriel to leave. Cassandra wanted him here. To stay. She held her breath as Gabriel didn’t move. He simply froze. Then he turned so quickly that Cassandra nearly fell over. Gabriel caught her and hauled her against his chest, covering his mouth with hers. It wasn’t like the other kisses before. Not fierce, almost desperate to have the taste of her. This kiss felt different. Still intense, and yet more intimate. More gentle, as if he was savouring her taste.
Cassandra moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on as Gabriel backed her towards the bed. The backs of her knees hit the bed and Cassandra found herself toppling back. Gabriel held on and lowered her to the mattress, still kissing her.
He held himself above her, hands now pressing into the bed and keeping his body off her. Cassandra tried to tug him down, but he wouldn’t give. When he broke the kiss, finishing it with feather-light brushes across her mouth, Cassandra felt like she was going to explode. She could feel the desire tightening in her belly. And that was just from a kiss.
“Gabe…”
“Hush.” Gabriel brushed a finger over her lips. “If I’m going to make love to you, I’m not going to rush it. You deserve to be treated like a princess.”
Make love. Oh, my. Cassandra felt her core tightening and the throbbing between her legs becoming more persistent. She bit her lip as Gabriel eased back, running his hand down her body. He cupped her breasts, the gentle squeeze making Cassandra gasp, and then he moved lower, his hands passing over her hips. Then he was standing up, his hands going to his coat.
“I think it’s best you undress yourself. The way I’m feeling, I’m more likely to tear something.” He shrugged out of his coat and dropped it to the floor, “You don’t want to have any questions about your attire, do you?”
“I...no.” Cassandra sat up and shuffled off the bed. “I suppose not.”
For a moment, her doubts began to set in. She was really going to do this. A man was going to see her naked body for the first time. Was she really going to measure up to what he imagined? Or would her body be enough for Gabriel to leave? Averting her eyes away from the man undressing so close to her, Cassandra fumbled with her clothes. Getting her dress off wasn’t a problem, although trying to take her corset off when she couldn’t reach behind her was difficult.
“Would...would you mind?”
“I don’t mind.” Fingers brushed across her back, making Cassandra shiver. “Stay still.”
Cassandra tried, but every time Gabriel’s fingers touched her bare skin, she felt a shot of pleasure down her back. Her nipples were tightening at the intimate sensation, and the throbbing between her legs was getting worse. It was a wonder she was still standing upright.
The corset loosened, and then Gabriel was tugging it off. His hands went to the ties of her stays and undid them with a flick of his wrists. Cassandra held her breath as he drew her stays down, dropping them to the floor. Her drawers followed soon after, and then Gabriel was running his fingers up her leg. He pressed against her back and cupped her breasts with a groan.
“God, Cassie. You’re so beautiful. I love your body.”
Cassandra gasped as he shifted his hips against her, and she felt his erection against her back. She could feel him throbbing against her, Gabriel pressing his hips to her. Reaching back, Cassandra grabbed his head and arched into his hands. Her body seemed to be reacting of its own accord. The pleasure in her belly was building, the throbbing getting more intense. Especially when Gabriel squeezed her breasts and rolled her nipples between his fingers.
Oh, God. This was too much. And he hadn’t even taken her yet.
“Cassie,” Gabriel lowered his head and kissed her neck, “your first time is going to be a little painful. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.” Cassandra turned her head and kissed him, “I trust you.”
That had Gabriel pausing, staring at her like he had never seen her before.
“You really mean that?”
“I do.” Cassandra didn’t look away as his eyes darkened. There was no ignoring the desire now. “I trust you, Gabe.”
Gabriel growled. He kissed her hard and turned them around, nudging Cassandra towards the bed. He urged her to lie down, her hips on the edge of the mattress. Cassandra lifted her head and watched as Gabriel took her shoes off, tossing them aside.
Then he was adjusting her legs, spreading them out wide. Cool air hit her most sensitive parts, and for a moment Cassandra felt self-conscious. This was far too intimate, even for her. She started to close her legs, only for Gabriel to stop her, pushing her thighs apart.
“Don’t.”
“But…”
“You have no idea how beautiful you look like this.” Gabriel knelt and shifted between her legs. “I know you’re going to taste so sweet.”
“What are…?”
Cassandra was not prepared for Gabriel’s tongue to swipe at her swollen flesh. She gasped and felt the jolt of pleasure right up her body. Gabriel lapped at her like a satisfied cat, his tongue doing things to her that were making Cassandra shake. His fingers brushed at her curls, and then at the wetness between her legs. He was treating her with a delicacy that she didn’t even know it possessed.
And that felt more arousing than she thought possible.
Then Gabriel thrust a finger inside her. Cassandra gasped and fell back onto the bed, knocking her head against the wooden frame. Her head throbbed, but then she was aware of the pleasure shooting through her body as Gabriel thrust one, and then two fingers inside her. It felt a little strange, but the faster Gabriel pumped, the more Cassandra writhed under him, wanting more. She needed more.
“Gabriel.”
“I’ve got you, Cassie.” Gabriel rose up and kissed her belly. “I want to see you come apart for me. I want to see you do that for me.”
Cassandra could hardly speak. She could feel her orgasm approaching at a rate that was far too fast for her. When it hit, Cassandra clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle the scream. Her whole body went hot, and then cold, and back to hot again. Her entire body felt numb, the sensations giving her goosebumps.