by Meghan Sloan
“Allen came up to the hall yesterday. He was very concerned about you,” Derek frowned. “You haven’t eaten in nearly a week, and he said you weren’t getting out of bed.”
Gabriel gritted his teeth. Allen should know when to leave alone. He didn’t need to report back to his employer about everything his master did.
“I’m not ill, Father. There was no need to come down and check up on me.”
“Well, I beg to differ.” Derek folded his arms, “A broken heart is a type of illness. One I didn’t expect you to suffer from, if I’m honest, but it’s happening.”
“What?” Gabriel stared. “You know about...Miss Seton and me?”
“I know what Percy’s told me. He’s still very angry that you lied to him about Miss Seton. I was as well when I realised what you were up to.” Derek frowned, “You don’t manipulate people you care about like that, Gabe. Percy didn’t ask for this, and now you’ve got another bridge to build before he’ll accept any type of forgiveness.”
“I know. It wasn’t my intention.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Gabriel winced. This was going to end up in a fight, he just knew it. But he had no energy for one. He had barely any energy for anything right now. Gabriel found himself slumping to the ground, resting his back against the wall. Right now, he wanted to curl up into a ball and be left alone. Acknowledging that he had done the wrong thing to himself was one thing. But to his father? He would see it as more reason to have him out of the family for good.
“I didn’t mean for it to get this bad, Father,” Gabriel hung his head. “This has just become a big mess.”
“I figured that much when Allen came to me and explained that you’d fallen for Miss Seton yourself,” Derek sounded bemused. “When he described how you were behaving, I was surprised. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Well, I guess I hadn’t found a woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Until Cassie. Now she won’t speak to me.”
“You did mess her around.”
“I realise that, Father, and I’ve apologised so many times,” Gabriel swallowed. He hated feeling like this. “But Cassie...she refuses to entertain me.”
Derek was silent for a while. For a moment, Gabriel thought he had left in disgust. But then there was the rustling of clothing and a breaking of a few twigs, and Gabriel looked up to see Derek settling on the grass beside him.
That almost had him shooting to his feet. In the whole time since his father had kicked him out of the family, he had always kept his distance, even when they were in the same room. This was the first time Derek had even touched him, their shoulders bumping as Derek got himself comfortable on the ground next to his son.
It almost had Gabriel turning into a little boy again and breaking down.
“You really do love Miss Seton, don’t you?” Derek asked.
Gabriel nodded. He was too worn out to argue about it with his father.
“If you’re going to tell me that I was a fool and I’ve ruined it for myself, don’t bother. I’ve already done that many times.”
“I wasn’t going to say that. I just wanted confirmation to myself that what Allen said is true,” Derek sighed. “And from what I can see, it is.”
They sat in silence for a while. Gabriel didn’t even know what to say. What could you say when you had barely interacted with your father for months? Especially with the ache in his heart that was refusing to budge. If anything, it had become even worse.
Gabriel wanted to be left alone. To tell his father to get lost. But a part of him wanted Derek to stay. For the first time since he was fifteen, he needed his father. Even if his father was going to chastise him for what he’d done. He stared out over the field, watching a deer venture out with its fawn to graze.
There were often deer when Gabriel went on walks, but he never paid them much attention. Now he witnessed the deer grazing while the baby pranced around, seeming to be chasing butterflies. How long had he been taking things for granted? From the way he had been doing things, a long time.
“Why are you out here, Father? Besides seeing if I’m really suffering with heartbreak. You said you wanted nothing to do with me.”
“I’m here because you’re my son.”
“You disowned me.”
“You’re still my child, even if I want to throttle you.” Derek let out a sigh, bringing his legs in and crossing them. “I’ve been asking around town about what you’ve been up to. I spoke to Norman Montgomery.”
He knew about the sale. Derek had implied that he was aware of Gabriel’s plan before, but now he had confirmation. Gabriel braced himself for the chastisement that he knew was coming.
“I was getting fed up sitting here twiddling my thumbs. You always said I could do anything once I put my mind to it, and that’s what I was doing. Montgomery was letting me get his father’s business on credit and then I was to pay him back what it was worth with the profits. We signed the paperwork regarding it last week.” He swallowed, “I’m due to take over officially tomorrow.”
“It could be years before the debt is paid off, Gabriel. You could be dead and buried before that happens.”
“I know, and I don’t care.” No more cutting corners for Gabriel. He would make it work, even if it meant he went without. “As long as I’ve got some worth in this life, then I’ll do whatever I can. I know I can do it. I don’t want to be where I am anymore.” He glanced at his father, “I don’t mind not being the heir anymore. It was more than likely that which had me behaving as I did, and I regret it every day. But I want something for me. Make me feel like I was worthy.”
“And you wanted to own a business,” Derek murmured. He tilted his head as he regarded his son. “Think you can do it?”
“Yes. I can.” Gabriel shifted and stretched his legs out. “And if I can’t have Cassie in my life, I want to be able to throw myself into something. Because if I don’t, all I see is her. Which is what is happening right now.” He rubbed his chest, “And it breaks my heart all over again.”
In the past, when male friends had discussed their feelings and admitted that they had weaknesses, Gabriel had rolled his eyes and called their feelings ridiculous. He hadn’t been sympathetic to them at all. Now he was in their position, and Gabriel now knew how they felt. It was not a pleasant situation. He felt a lot of pain, and it just wouldn’t budge.
He missed Cassie. Badly.
Derek shook his head.
“God, Gabriel. You’re a fool.”
“You’ve called me a lot worse.”
“Because I saw you going down a path that I went down. And, like me, you fell and there didn’t seem to be any hope of coming back.”
Gabriel didn’t know if it was the flicker in his father’s eyes, the flash of pain across his face, or simply the way he said those words, but he found himself realising that there was a lot more behind that statement. He frowned.
“I...I don’t follow, Father.”
“You will.” Derek rested his elbows on his knees, rubbing a hand over his face. His father looked tired all of a sudden. “I was disowned when I was Percy’s age. Because I was doing exactly what you did. Drinking, gambling, sleeping with lots of women. I didn’t have a care in the world. I was acting like the entitled brat that my parents raised me to be.”
Gabriel stared. He hadn’t realised that. Derek had barely spoken about his childhood, and certainly didn’t talk about his time as a young man before he was married. But given what he knew about his grandparents, who he saw very intermittently over the years, and the way his aunt acted like Derek owed her a favour, it was no wonder Derek had acted out.
“My grandfather was the one with the viscountcy title. As the eldest son, my father was to inherit it. He hated the fact that his children thought they could do whatever they want, and Grandpa hated that I was embarrassing the family. We had been close when I was a boy, but that disappeared once I turned eighteen and was introduced properly into society
. After he was notified that I had racked up another gambling bill, he cut me out. And my parents. The title was going to go to my uncle, who had no interest in it but it was now his birthright,” Derek grimaced, his eyes downcast. Gabriel had never seen him look so ashamed. “I must admit, I cried when I was told that I wouldn’t be accepted into the family. I loved Grandpa, but my parents...let’s just say they didn’t really understand. They thought Grandpa would come around and that they would be back to normal. This would all blow over soon. But it wasn’t until Grandpa was on his deathbed three years later before they realised that he wasn’t messing around. He was never giving my father the title.”
“But...you have the title now. You must have been accepted back into the family at some point.”
“I was.”
Derek rubbed his hands over his face and plucked a long strand of grass, which he started to slowly tear apart. He remained silent for a while, but Gabriel waited. Derek spoke when he was ready, and he had learned to respect that with his father. Gabriel was still reeling from the fact Derek had been in his position over thirty years ago. To him, his father was the epitome of the perfect gentleman.
Clearly, he was more like Gabriel than he realised.
“About six months before Grandpa died, I met a girl. Not like any of the other women I had been cavorting about with,” Derek’s mouth twitched and his expression softened. “She was sweet and innocent, well-read and cultured. Her parents were my grandfather’s neighbours. I saw her out walking on most days when I was riding. One day, she fell and twisted her ankle badly enough that she couldn’t walk. I came by and helped her out. I got her back to her parents, checked in on her a few times afterwards. Something had me going back to see her.”
“They didn’t know who you were?”
“Oh, they knew. The whole county knew, at that point. But she and her parents never treated me any differently. They showed me warmth and kindness for the first time in three years. And I fell hard for their daughter. It was at that point I knew I couldn’t walk away from her.”
Gabriel didn’t need to guess who this was. He knew these people Derek spoke of, and he could certainly verify that they were the kind, decent people his father spoke about.
“That was Mother, wasn’t it?”
“That was. It’s never been anyone but her since that day thirty-two years ago.” Derek sat back, “When Grandpa heard that I was seeing a local girl, he asked to meet us. And he adored your mother. The day before he died, he sent for me. Told me that he was going to pass the title onto me and bypass my father, but that I had better make an honest woman out of your mother as she was a rare quality in this world. I kept my promise to him and I don’t regret it at all. Your mother straightened me out; made me realise there was more to life than what I was doing. I began to appreciate things so much more, all because of her.”
Gabriel listened to this in growing amazement. His mother had mentioned a few times how she and Derek had met, but hadn’t gone too much into detail. All Gabriel knew was that whenever she looked at her husband, it was with love shining in her eyes. She absolutely adored him. Gabriel had had brief moments where he wanted to have that for himself, but knew that would be next to impossible. He didn’t believe in love at the time, and had thought it was overrated.
It was certainly not overrated now.
“Why are you telling me this, Father?”
Derek looked at him, and Gabriel saw the pain in his solemn expression.
“Because I saw a lot of me in you as you grew up. When you started playing around, I saw myself again. I cut you out because you were going to go too far and I didn’t want you to destroy yourself. It had to be your wake-up call.”
“Well, it was some wake-up call,” Gabriel grunted. He rubbed his eyes. They were feeling very sore. “I’m beginning to appreciate things a lot more now. But it’s not going to help me right now, is it?”
“Maybe it is.” Then Derek was climbing to his feet and holding out his hand. “Come with me.”
“What?” Stunned, Gabriel took his hand. “Where are we going?”
“Down to the cottage.” Derek hauled him to his feet with barely a grunt. “You have a visitor arriving shortly, and the three of us have a lot to discuss.”
“I have a visitor?”
But Derek was already walking away, heading in the direction of the cottage. Gabriel was very confused now. What was with the sudden change? And who was arriving at the cottage? He very much doubted that Derek had requested that Cassie be there. She refused to have anything to do with him.
“Come on, Gabe!” Derek was taking off at a brisk stride, which had the deer and its little one galloping off in the other direction. “You don’t hurry up and we’ll go ahead without you.”
There was no stopping him. Gabriel sighed and hurried to catch up. Whatever his father was up to, it had better put him in a better mood. Otherwise, he was going to regret following Derek’s advice.
#
Cassandra was very confused. She had been ever since receiving a letter from Viscount Tattershall saying that he had something very important to discuss with her and that she needed to head up to his home immediately. It was written with some hurry. Cassandra had read the letter three times, wondering if Viscount Tattershall was upset and angry over the courtship himself. She couldn’t blame him if that was the case.
However, it didn’t seem angry. It seemed...insistent. But not angry. Cassandra didn’t know what to make of it. She was in two minds about going - she wasn’t exactly in a fit state to meet anyone - but she wasn’t about to turn down a viscount’s request.
At least Gabriel wouldn’t be there. He had been banned from the house. Percy had told her that himself. Gabriel was not permitted on the premises now he was disowned.
Even so, the prospect of bumping into him didn’t sit well with Cassandra. She didn’t want to see him. Just the thought of being around him made her want to burst into tears again. Her anger was gone and now she just felt miserable. She had barely been able to eat anything, and she had stayed in her room.
It had got to the point where even her father was concerned about her behaviour, but Cassandra couldn’t tell him. That meant telling him what had happened, and she knew Ernest would be furious that a man like Gabriel Tattershall had got hold of her. She didn’t want to go through that.
If she could pick up her heart and put it back together, she would. But Cassandra couldn’t find all the pieces. Gabriel had a huge chunk of her heart, and she didn’t see him giving it back anytime soon.
The same day she received the letter, Cassandra made her way up to Brandeston. The letter had also asked her to come alone, which was rather odd. A man like Viscount Tattershall asking her to come to his house on her own?
So, Cassandra had waited until Alice went out for her daily walk and sneaked out. It had taken a lot to talk her coach driver into taking her out on her own, but it had been doable. Cassandra just knew she would owe a lot of favours to the driver should this go wrong.
She had thought about bringing Emily with her. Her friend was horrified at the real reason Gabriel had appeared in Cassandra’s life, and she was ready to tear the man apart. The only reason she hadn’t so far was because Cassandra begged her not to. She would rather have Gabriel out of her life for good.
Even if it hurt to do that.
The carriage finally arrived at the Tattershall residence, and Cassandra headed up to the front door. But instead of being greeted by one of the servants, Derek Tattershall himself stood on the threshold. He gave her a smile and a slight bow.
“Miss Seton.”
“Lord Tattershall,” Cassandra slowed. Something wasn’t right. “Why am I here exactly? What’s going on?”