I blew my nose and pouted. “No, I guess not. Not unless he’s really good at pretending.”
“The sex was that good, huh?”
I laughed up another coughing spell. Until I finished, Chyna lightly rubbed my back and hummed a song we used to sing to comfort one another when we were kids. When my coughing fit ended, I rested my head on her shoulder and sighed.
“Yeah, the sex was that good.”
She grinned down at me and stroked my hair. “If you know it’s real, why are you fighting it?”
“I told you. He’s too special for me. Why try to make something work with him when it’s bound to end with me being proven to be right? Then, he’ll find someone as perfect as he is—some perfect supermodel or something and they’ll go off and have perfect kids in his perfect home with their perfect life. There’s no use courting heartbreak.”
Chyna stiffened. “What did you say?”
“I said a lot. Do you really want me to repeat it all?”
She shook her head. “You said, ‘There’s no use courting heartbreak’. Why did you say that?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. ‘Cause it’s true?”
“You realize that that awful woman at the children’s home used to say that to us, right?” She pushed my head off her shoulder and grasped me by the upper arms looking into my eyes. “That old witch that was there every time we had to go back between foster homes? Mrs. Harold or Harris or something like that? She said that to us. All the time.”
I frowned. “Okay?”
“Come on, Cherry. You’re an intelligent woman. Put it two and two together. Remember every time there was the possibility of us finding a forever family? When potential adopters would come in to see all of us, and we’d puff up like little birds. Remember when we used to dream about having a mom and dad who would let us help decorate the Christmas tree and give us chore lists and ground us when we got bad report cards? She would always tell us the same thing—over and over—that there was no use courting heartbreak, because out of all the available kids, no one in their right mind would ever pick two little brown-skinned girls whose own mama tossed them out like trash.”
I stared up at the ceiling and blinked back tears. “That’s not what this is about.”
“Are you sure? Because it feels an awful lot like it to me. You keep acting like you’re not good enough for him, so no matter how hard that man tries to convince you otherwise, you’re not even going to give him a chance. You literally said the exact phrase she used to use, Cherry.”
I sat up and scooted myself back against the headboard. “It’s just a phrase, Chyna. I don’t believe anything that old nasty witch said to us. I never did. She was just cruel and evil and unhappy with her own miserable existence.”
Chyna shook her head, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “We both knew she was miserable and just trying to get us to join her in her misery, but we also both believed her. Even if just a little bit. She got to us and I am not going to let that old bitch ruin your chance at happiness. I refuse.” Chyna wiped the back of her hand over her cheeks swiping at the tears that were now streaming down her face. “Get up. We’re going to go find him.” She tugged my arm and started yanking me out of my bed. She was strong for her size and I was halfway off the bed and almost on the floor before I snapped.
“Stop! I’m serious when I say he’s too amazing. He’s a dragon! That’s how fucking special he is, Chyna. He can literally turn into a two-hundred-ton creature and fly through the sky. Scales, wings, talons, the whole nine yards.”
She stopped pulling me and frowned. “Oh, honey, I think your fever has spiked.”
“No, no. Listen to me.” I paused and ran a hand through my nappy hair wincing as it got caught in the tangles. “He really is a dragon, Chyna, I saw it. He transformed into one for me. Then, he flew me over the swamp while I hung onto his neck.”
“You’re delirious.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, no. I’m not hallucinating. I also saw him cut his finger and it healed itself—in seconds. I saw his eyes glow and golden veins appear from beneath his skin. I know it sounds crazy, but I swear to you, Chyna, it’s all true.”
She rubbed her hands down her face. “A dragon? As in a mythical creature of medieval folklore and legend?”
“Yup. The very same. Except these guys haven’t been here that long and they’re actually from another planet.”
She nodded, the corner of her mouth upturned like she was about to take out her phone and record me so she could post a viral video of the crazy things I said while in a state of delirium. “Which planet?”
“Which pl—? I don’t know! You’re missing the point. You know those romance books about shape shifters? Bears, lions, wolves, yadda, yadda.”
“You’re saying he’s a shapeshifter? A dragon shifter?”
We were quiet for a while and I still wasn’t exactly sure she believed me. Then she looked over at me and laughed so hard she fell on the floor clutching her stomach. When she finished, she took a few moments to catch her breath. “You lost your virginity to a dragon shifter?”
I rolled my eyes. “Think that’s bad? At first I thought he was an alien trying to abduct me and take me to his planet as a breeding slave to further his alien species.”
She snorted. “No.”
“Yep. I accused him of impregnating me because I have child bearing hips.”
“No!”
“Mm-hmm.”
Again, silence fell around us and we both sat there, lost in our own thoughts. I didn’t know what Chyna was thinking but I was remembering a sad little girl who, for her own survival, was forced to wall off the part of her heart that contained innocent, wide-eyed vulnerability and the crazy notion that she was worthy of love simply because she existed. The girl who was never special enough to get picked but was weird—unique—enough to get picked on.
Had that sad little girl had grown into a sad, lonely woman whose heart was enclosed in its own prison high-tower? Perhaps, but why shouldn’t it be? For protection. Just because the years had passed, did that mean the cards I’d been dealt would magically change?
No, it wasn’t just what some mean and stupid old woman said to us when we were kids. It was the way everything in my life transpired. The way everything had always transpired. It had always been just Chyna and me. She was my safety net and I was hers, and we didn’t need anyone else.
Besides, the new page I had wanted to turn had been turned and I accomplished the goal of having my cherry popped (pun intended).
It was time to close the book on that chapter.
16
Cezar
I did not understand my human mate. She was excited when she learned I was a dragon. Of that, I was certain. She laughed as she rode on my back. She even became aroused. I thought that I had finally pleased her, yet she refused to remain with me at my castle and demanded that I take her home. I begged her to talk to me and to allow me to make amends for whatever it was I had done to displease her.
I could scent her sorrow, yet she would not discuss it with me. She simply told me that she needed space and asked that I respect her wishes and leave her alone. This was a human thing, the needing of space. I had read about it and did not like it at all. Not one bit. However, I had little choice.
When I found that she was ill, I tried to go to her home and check on her, but she refused to allow me to see her. I knew she was ill because she did not go to work at the library, and I knew that because as far as giving her space was concerned, I could do it none other than the dragon way. Which meant that I remained covertly nearby every minute.
I’d had to cancel a gaming marathon with Nick and Casey, but the younglings were understanding when I explained I had found my mate but was having difficulty winning her over and that it was taking every minute of my time.
I was becoming distraught. I’d done everything the books recommended, yet I was hiding like a coward, for fire’s sake! Worse, from what the books said, “I n
eed space” was a phrase used by humans to sometimes serve as a kind and gentle way of ending a relationship. I did not find it gentle or kind. Nor would I allow us to end. I could not and I would not.
* * *
Cherry
I was bedridden with the flu for three days. The worst part, as much as I hated to admit it, was that I couldn’t stop thinking about Cezar. It appeared as though putting space between us was not going to be easy. So far, it was much harder being away from him than it was being with him. My first day back was spent playing catch up, but I was also feeling a bit sad that Cezar hadn’t fought harder for me—for us. Which was the damned dumbest thing ever since I was the one who kept metaphorically kicking him in the nuts to get him to go. I suppose it had been my test of how hard I had to push him before he ended up leaving.
Not very hard, it would seem.
As I wallowed in the mire of my own making, a woman and two teenaged boys came up to the front desk. The woman asked for me by name. I attempted to give her the pleasantest smile I could muster, but it probably looked more like a pained half-grin.
“Yes, I’m Cherry Deschamps. How can I help you?”
She took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “Um, hello. My name is Sky and this is Nick.” She pointed to a tall boy in about his mid-teens, and then to another who was maybe a year or two younger. “And Casey.”
“Nice to meet y’all.” We all stared at one another in silence for several seconds as I waited for someone to say something. I didn’t know where this was going, but in the south, we didn’t like to rush things. Besides, I had all the time in the world since my social calendar was likely to be completely clear from now until forever.
“Spit it out, Sky.” The younger of the two boys rolled his eyes and then looked at me. “Cezar told us about you.”
I felt a burn creep up my cheeks. “Oh…”
Sky smacked him on the arm and pushed him away. “Go look for some books to check out.”
The taller boy leaned towards me. “Cezar is awesome and he really likes you. He’s a great guy and we think you should cut him a break.”
Sky groaned and shoved him away from the desk. “I am so sorry about that. Is there somewhere we could speak privately?”
I stuttered and nearly tripped over myself getting around the desk. “Y-yes. In my office.”
She followed behind me and pushed the door closed once we were inside. “I’m sorry to just show up like this unannounced and butt into your business and all.” She held her hands up in front of her as she spoke. “It’s really not my place, so if you want to tell me to buzz off, I get it. I just thought maybe I could help—offer a friendly shoulder or something—since I’ve been exactly where you are.”
I dropped into my desk chair and held my breath. What did she mean exactly where I was? And then it dawned on me. She must be Cezar’s ex. Or, one of his exes, perhaps. Oh, god, are those boys out there his children? Jealousy reared its ugly head and I found myself comparing my physical attributes to hers. We were oddly similarly shaped, although she may have been slightly curvier than I was.
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “You’ve been exactly where I am in what way?”
“Well, I was stuck between falling head over heels and wanting to run away screaming at the top of my lungs.” She sighed. “Not to mention my knowledge of the universe having to expand to include things I’d only ever thought were figments of the twisted imaginations of fiction writers.”
She hadn’t confirmed or denied my suspicions, so I decided to just come out and ask what I really wanted to know. “Were you and Cezar… Are you and Cezar…” It was harder than I thought to get the words out. Deep breath. “How are you and your boys related to Cezar? Are you his ex?”
“No! Lord ha’ mercy, no! We’re not related. Well, Nick and Casey and I are…but not to Cezar. The boys are my nephews. Cezar is my mate’s…uh…brother—friend—brother. They’re, you know, similar.”
“Your mate?”
“Goodness, chère, Has Cezar told you nothing?”
I was starting to feel like I was in an alternate universe. “I guess not.”
“Well, he told us that you know about his, ahem, other form? I’m assuming you know that, or this is about to get really awkward.”
As though it wasn’t already. “I know about the dragon.”
“Okay, but he didn’t mention mates?”
I shook my head.
“I see. Well, then.” She cleared her throat and seemed to be considering her words before she continued. “Dragons have mates. And, until they find their mate, they spend most of their lives searching for her. It’s this odd thing like something in their chemical makeup finds a person, a mate, whose chemical makeup is extremely compatible with theirs and, once they find them, that’s it.”
“What do you mean that’s it?”
“Their dragon recognizes her as its mate and latches on. Then, they will only be attracted to that person and no other from that moment on. I’m not really sure how it works on a scientific level or anything, but I can assure you that it does work. I guess it’s what we humans would call soulmates. When they find their soulmate, they know instantaneously, like Cezar knew with you, and then, apparently, they run around in a whirlwind of lunacy acting like damn fools and possessive Neanderthals who beat their chests with their fists and all but club you and throw you over their shoulder.”
I blinked at her. “What?”
She laughed and fanned herself. “Sorry, I’m all over the place. I’m remembering my own experiences. I’ve only known about dragons for a little while. I’m just a normal person like you. A waitress, actually. I was so shocked and amazed, but I thought that Beast and I…Beast is my mate. I thought that we didn’t make sense. I even told him that I could be with him. I was certain, in fact. But, I was so wrong.
“I came over here hoping to save you the heartache I went through. But, at this moment I wonder if I’m only managing to sound crazier and crazier the more I keep flapping my gums.”
I cleared my throat and twisted a strand of hair nervously around my finger. “So, Cezar asked you to come over here?”
“Oh, no, no. He doesn’t know I’m here. This was my idea. Even though we’re virtually strangers, I feel a strange kind of connection to you seeing as how we’re both mates of dragons.”
“I…I think you’ve gotten mixed up somehow. I am not Cezar’s soulmate.”
Sky’s face froze. “Of course you are.”
I shook my head and wished away the blush burning my cheeks. “No. I haven’t even seen the guy in days.” Of course, I didn’t tell her that that was due in part to the fact that I’d told him to go take a flying leap. Not in those exact words, of course.
“No, that’s not right. Dragons are possessive and demanding. Beast followed me around and wouldn’t leave, hung out at my workplace, even marked me without permission. He’s behaving now, but we had some issues to iron out over that uber-possessiveness.”
“Now I know you have the wrong person.” I stood up and hurried to my office door to usher her out before I did something silly like cry or something. “Cezar isn’t like that with me at all.”
She looked truly perplexed. “He talks about you, though. You’re definitely his mate. I’m not mistaken about that.”
“If I was his…soulmate, or mate, whatever, then why hasn’t he been around in days?” I blinked back tears. “Why doesn’t he behave the way you say he’s supposed to? The whole possessive Neanderthal and throwing over the shoulder thing.”
She stood up and pulled her purse strap over her shoulder. “I’ve obviously upset you and I’m so sorry. Cezar and my mate are a little different, maybe that’s it. I mean, Cezar’s the diplomat of the group, a little more civilized than the rest, I guess. I do know you’re his mate, though. Please don’t cry, chère. I made things worse and it was truly not my intention. I’m so sorry. I’ll go. Here, let me give you my number. Call me if you need anything. I promise
I’ll try not to make you cry next time.”
I watched her go and then stayed in my office feeling sorry for myself. I had made the choice to keep Cezar and all men out of my life, so I couldn’t really blame him. But what she said went deep. Whoever turned out to be Cezar’s soulmate was going to be one luck girl. Especially if he did throw her over his shoulder and follow her around and hang out at her workplace and, what else had she said? Mark her without permission? Whatever that meant.
I remembered the tsunami of gifts Cezar showered me with. Sure, that had been something, but he’d also made himself scarce easily enough. As soon as I’d said I needed space, he’d backed right off. And why wouldn’t he? I had been nothing but a plaything to him, something to bide his time until he found this “soulmate” of his. Besides, I still found it way too difficult to believe that a man as fine as Cezar would have a connection like Sky described to someone like me and, regardless of what my sister said, to think otherwise was courting heartache.
My office door opened again minutes later and the older of Sky’s nephews stood there, looking awkward. “Hi. Uh, I just wanted to say that Cezar isn’t the best at dating or whatever. He’s old. Super old. It makes him kind of clueless. I know you’re his mate, though. He called you his mate. He told me you were.”
I wiped my eyes and smiled at the boy. “Thanks for trying.”
The boy rocked back and forth on his feet, clearly not wanting to leave without getting his point across. “One time Beast almost ripped a man’s head off for looking at Sky too long. Maybe if you don’t believe it, all you have to do is have another man show interest in you or treat you poorly.” With that, he smiled sheepishly and turned to leave, reconsidered, and turned aback around. “You’ll want to be careful with that, though. He’s from a species of battle-hardened warrior creatures who can char a dude to cinders and then consume his ashes. See ya’.” At that, he left me to consider his words like they were some credo passed down from the gods of Olympus.
Fire Breathing Cezar: Dragons of the Bayou Book 2 Page 8