Elizabeth shook her head. “I believe your sentiments are genuine, and if there was only myself to consider… But I know your opinion of my family. I could never force you to connect yourself with those you feel are so far beneath your notice.”
“Elizabeth, do not make yourself uneasy. Were we to marry, they would no longer be your family.”
Elizabeth’s expression shuttered, all animation draining from her features. “I comprehend your feelings, sir, and I assure you I know their faults better than anyone. But I love them dearly, and I will not give them up. Not even for you.”
For a moment Darcy looked away. “Forgive me, Elizabeth, I am afraid I phrased that poorly. What I meant to say was that should we marry, they would no longer be solely your family. They would be mine as well. And I assure you, I am fiercely loyal to those entrusted to my care.”
“But… at Hunsford… you said…”
Darcy lifted his hand to touch her lips, quieting her with his fingers. “Pray, do not speak of it. Everything I said to you on that day was an abomination. Upon reflection, I had no right to make disparaging comments about your relations when members of my own family have behaved far worse. The one true thing I said to you that day was that I loved you.” Slipping his hand into hers, he gently pulled her to her feet. “Come. I think it is high time we erased that horrible afternoon from both our memories.”
Chapter 26
STILL HOLDING ELIZABETH’S hand, Darcy made his way along the avenue that circled the formal gardens. Turning onto a smaller footpath, he continued past polished marbles and neatly trimmed topiaries until he could finally see the high stone wall, covered almost entirely in thick vegetation. Stopping beside the iron gate, Darcy reached into the pocket of his coat, removing a small brass key and twisting it in the lock. The gate squealed open on its hinges, and Darcy stood back, allowing Elizabeth to enter.
Stepping into the enclosed space, he watched her freeze, a small gasp escaping her lips.
Directly at the garden’s center, water from a marble fountain cascaded into a circular pond, producing a soothing murmur, while all around them flowers of every variety blossomed, creating a riot of color. Sunlight filtered through the surrounding trees and the scent of honeysuckle and lavender floated on the breeze. Nestled between the blooms, several stone benches sat on a carpet of bright green grass.
Elizabeth turned in a small circle, her eyes shining. “Your mother’s garden,” she whispered.
Darcy nodded. “Yes. I have wanted to show it to you since you arrived, but there did not seem to be the opportunity, and then Georgiana became ill…”
“It is magnificent!”
Darcy smiled at her obvious delight. “I have kept it locked since my mother’s passing. Besides the gardeners, only my sister and I possess the keys.” He paused for a moment. “I have never brought anyone here before.”
Elizabeth turned to face him. “Thank you for showing it to me.”
Settling his palm at the small of her back, Darcy led the way to one of the benches opposite the fountain. He waited for her to sit and then took the spot beside her.
Somewhere in the trees a sparrow called, and another one answered.
Darcy hesitated, collecting his thoughts, before turning to her with a solemn expression. “Elizabeth, there is something I need to say, and I hope you will be kind enough to allow me to express myself without interruption.”
Elizabeth nodded her agreement, and after a moment, Darcy began to speak. “Before I met you, I had always considered myself to be an honorable man. I was raised with good principles by two excellent parents who were very much in love. In fact, seeing their devotion to one another made me understand that I would not be happy in a marriage of unequal affection.”
He paused and the expression on Elizabeth’s face made him believe she saw the sadness he carried.
“But then my mother died, and soon afterwards my father. By the time I reached my majority, the world had become a place I no longer felt comfortable. I realized that the people who sought my favor saw me only as a commodity. I was highly coveted by women of the ton, but not for who I was. No, it was my position, my standing in society, and my money these women wanted—not me.
“By the time I came to Netherfield with Bingley, I had closed myself off to all but a few trusted friends, certain I would never find a woman who could touch my heart.
“Unfortunately, when I first encountered you at that assembly in Meryton, I did not behave honorably. In fact, it pains me to recall the things I said. I do not know why… but I’d like to think it was because I saw something in you, felt something, and I was afraid. Afraid to let down the carefully constructed walls. Afraid to stand up to my family, who I knew would not approve of the match. Afraid to be hurt. And so, I behaved badly. Not just to you, but to everyone in the neighborhood. I was proud and arrogant and I deserved their censure, and yours. To safeguard my heart, I convinced myself that you were unsuitable, and I fled, hoping to put you out of my mind.
“And it worked, for a time.
“But then I saw you again at Rosings, and I realized I could no longer fight my attraction, and so I offered for you. Dreadfully. Yet in my vanity and conceit, I never doubted that you would accept me.”
Elizabeth opened her mouth, but Darcy held up his hand. He swallowed hard, staring out across the garden. “No. Pray, let me finish.”
“Your rejection of my offer—of me—was one of the lowest moments of my life, but it made me take stock of my imperfections. When you refused me, you spoke of my selfish disdain for the feelings of others, and in that you were correct. I realized when I offered for you, I thought only of my own needs, my own feelings, my own desires. Not yours. I observed myself clearly for the first time, and I did not like what I saw.
“When I left Kent that spring, I did not believe our paths would cross again. Indeed, knowing your feelings for me, I made every effort to see that they did not. Yet I still wished to improve myself. To be a man worthy of your regard, even if your affection was something I could never hope to attain.”
Elizabeth flushed, lowering her lashes. “But we did meet again,” she said softly, and Darcy nodded.
“Yes, by the grace of God, our paths crossed on that cold November day. And over the past nine months I have had the privilege to be once again in your company. To bear witness to your kindness, your intelligence, and your strength… and I have been awed and humbled by the experience.
“So, here we are, and I now know with absolute certainty that we are not equals. You are my superior in every way that matters.” Reaching out, Darcy lifted Elizabeth’s hand, brushing a kiss upon her knuckles before sinking to his knees. “Elizabeth, the love I feel for you defies expression. I love you wholly, without reserve. If you refuse me now, I know that I shall never marry, for there is no other woman who could fill the space in my heart that belongs to you.
“So, I will ask you one last time, the way I should have asked you all those months ago. Elizabeth Bennet, will you do me the great honor of becoming my wife?”
As Darcy stared up at the woman he loved, tears welled in Elizabeth’s eyes. She opened her mouth and then visibly swallowed, offering him a shaky nod.
“Yes?” Darcy whispered, hardly daring to breathe. “You are accepting me?”
Elizabeth nodded, more forcefully this time. “I am accepting you, sir.”
Darcy started to rise, but to his amazement, Elizabeth fell to her knees in front of him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Instinctively, his own arms slipped about her waist, and he pulled her body firmly against his. His eyes began to sting as he hoarsely choked, “Elizabeth, tell me you will never leave.”
“I will never leave.”
His palms traveled up her arms, coming to rest upon her shoulders. He lifted his fingers to caress her cheeks, dipping his chin until their faces were inches apart. Elizabeth’s mouth opened ever so slightly and his heart raced as his lips brushed hers for the first tim
e. He kissed her delicately, reverently. A small sound slipped from her throat, somewhere between a sigh and a moan and Darcy was overcome with the brightest joy. Dear God, how had he lived his entire life without this feeling? He pulled back to gaze into her fine eyes before once again capturing her lips. Her kisses were as sweet as honey and as intoxicating as the strongest drink. Time seemed to slow and then stop altogether, and Darcy was in no hurry to have it start up again.
He wanted the kiss to go on forever, but after several moments he broke away. He knew he had already gone well beyond the bounds of propriety and he did not wish to overwhelm her. After all, they had an entire lifetime to look forward to.
He opened his eyes to find Elizabeth staring up at him, but this time a mischievous smile brightened her expression.
Reaching for her hands, he rose to his feet, pulling her with him. “Is there something you find amusing, Miss Bennet? Most gentlemen do not like to be laughed at when they have just kissed a lady for the first time.”
To her credit, Elizabeth blushed. “Oh, it was not the kiss I found amusing. The kiss was lovely.”
Darcy smiled, exposing deep dimples. “Good. I am pleased to hear it.”
“It was only that I was thinking about everything you said to me here in this garden, and I believe, Mr. Darcy, that is easily the longest speech I have ever heard you utter. Until today, I would have thought such a thing quite impossible.”
The beginnings of a laugh rumbled in his chest, but Darcy answered seriously, “I will endeavor to do better in that regard, though I doubt I will ever be as loquacious as you. It is simply not in my nature.” After a moment, he briefly turned away. “Elizabeth, as gratified as I am by your acceptance, I feel I must ask… What of your father? Will he grant us his consent? I know he was not best pleased with me after our meeting in Town.”
Elizabeth lifted her shoulders in a shrug, but Darcy could see that her eyes were troubled. “I do not require his consent. I am of age.”
“Perhaps. But I could never marry you without his blessing. Not now. Not knowing how much your family means to you.”
Elizabeth reached up, her soft fingers caressing his cheek. “Mr. Darcy, I have made my decision. Now that we have reached an understanding, nothing in this world would keep me from marrying you.”
Darcy studied her face. He knew that she believed this to be true, but he also knew that he could not live with himself were he to separate Elizabeth from the one member of her family who held her heart. Forcing his uneasiness aside, he captured her hand, lifting it to his lips.
“Elizabeth, might I request a favor? As we are now betrothed, would it be too much to ask you to address me by my given name? At least when we are not in public?”
Elizabeth’s cheeks turned a rosy shade of pink but her mouth and her eyes were smiling. “Yes, I think that can be accomplished. Fitzwilliam.”
The sound of his name on her lips made Darcy’s insides quiver and it took him a moment before he was composed enough to speak. “Thank you. But you may prefer to call me William. Most of my relations do, as Fitzwilliam is a family name and it can grow confusing.”
“Very well, William,” Elizabeth said, leaning up to brush her lips against his jaw.
Darcy closed his eyes and his breathing once again grew ragged. “Elizabeth, I think we should return to the house. We have both been absent a good while and I would not want to give the staff any cause for concern.”
“As you wish, my love,” Elizabeth whispered and Darcy was certain he had never known such bliss in the entirety of his nine and twenty years.
Chapter 27
WHEN DARCY ENTERED Pemberley’s great hall with Elizabeth on his arm, the elation he felt in every cell of his body fairly radiated from his being. Elizabeth Bennet had agreed to be his wife! Never in his life could he remember feeling such unadulterated joy.
But the joy twisted into dread at the sight of Grant pacing across the marble floor, his expression grim.
Advancing in the physician’s direction, Darcy dropped Elizabeth’s arm as a weight settled in the pit of his stomach. “What has happened?” he barked. “Is it Georgiana? Is she ill?”
At Darcy’s approach, Grant looked up, appearing momentarily confused. “No. That is, yes.” He shook his head. “Forgive me—Miss Darcy is not ill. But I… I hoped I might speak to you about a matter of some importance, concerning your sister.”
The knot inside Darcy’s stomach loosened slightly, but his heart continued to pound inside his ears. “She is not unwell? You are certain?”
Grant nodded. “Your sister is in good health. At least, I have no reason to think otherwise.”
Darcy released a breath, willing himself to relax.
“I will excuse myself,” Elizabeth said quietly, already moving towards the stairs; but Darcy reached out, catching her hand. “No. Stay.” Turning to Grant he continued, “Anything you have to say about my sister may be said in front of Miss Bennet. She and Georgiana have become close, and I value her opinion.”
The doctor shifted his focus from Darcy to Elizabeth before nodding his agreement. “I have no objection.”
The small party made their way to Pemberley’s library in silence. But the moment the door was closed behind them, Darcy turned to face the physician. “What is this about?”
Elizabeth proceeded to cross the room, taking a seat on a small settee beside the hearth. Regarding a nearby chair, Grant briefly sat, then stood. Pacing to the fireplace he gazed into the empty grate before abruptly returning to his seat and pushing his fingers through his hair. “Mr. Darcy, you may remember that prior to your sister’s recovery I expressed some… reluctance to perform the procedure I had initially proposed.”
At the physician’s words, Darcy lifted a hand to rub his jaw. Reluctance? The man had flat out refused! “I do,” he answered.
“Yes. Well. At that time, I did not explain the reason behind my decision. I would like to do so now.”
Darcy exchanged a glance with Elizabeth. “I cannot see how it is relevant at this point… unless there is something about my sister’s health you are not telling me?”
“About her health, no. As I said, your sister is well. I have every reason to expect she will make a complete recovery.”
“Then I do not understand.”
“I know.” Grant stared morosely at the carpet before straightening his shoulders. “Mr. Darcy, the reason I did not wish to perform the operation was because I realized I no longer possessed the objectivity a doctor should have when dealing with a patient. In short, I had developed… feelings for your sister, and I could not in good conscience perform such a procedure under those circumstances.”
Darcy’s jaw tightened as a spark of rage ignited in his chest. Good God! As if the idea of any gentleman performing such a procedure on his sister had not been disturbing enough, to think that a man who believed himself in love with her… That he would have… Darcy’s cheeks burned and an involuntary shiver raced down his spine. But the more rational side of him recalled that Grant had not gone through with it. Even before his sister had recovered, the surgeon had bowed out. “Are you telling me that you and my sister have formed an attachment?” he finally asked.
“I am telling you that I have come to care for Miss Darcy a great deal.”
“And does my sister return these sentiments?”
Grant studied the tips of his boots. “I am unaware of your sister’s feelings. I have not made mine known to her, nor do I intend to.”
“Why are you telling me all this?”
Grant lifted his gaze. “Because you are the closest thing she has to a father. And because I felt you had a right to know.”
Spinning on his heel, Darcy paced to the window and then back to where Grant sat. “She is not even out yet,” he hissed. “She is but seventeen years of age!”
Across from him, the physician flinched and Darcy felt a twinge of remorse. In truth, his sister was fast approaching her eighteenth birthday; certainly any
number of young ladies were married at such an age. But he was not ready to let Grant escape so easily.
“I understand,” the physician answered. “As I have already stated, I do not intend to pursue a courtship. Even if her age were not an issue, I am well aware that I am not of her station.”
Darcy frowned, and although he did not turn in her direction, he could feel Elizabeth’s gaze. “You think this is why I disapprove?”
Now it was the doctor’s turn to show surprise. “Is it not? Obviously, Miss Darcy will have the pick of gentlemen from the first circles when she enters society. It is only right that you should wish for her to make the best possible match.”
Slowly, Darcy moved to face Elizabeth. Her expression was placid, but he could detect the slightest hitch to her brow. She is waiting to see how I handle this. Darcy lifted his hand, massaging the bridge of his nose before answering carefully, “In truth, it has always been my hope that Georgiana would make an advantageous match. And a year ago, I would have agreed that such an alliance would by necessity involve a gentleman of equal social standing. But now…” His voice trailed off and Grant sat forward in his chair.
“Now?”
“I have but one wish for my sister—that she be happy.” Once again, he shifted to face Elizabeth and their eyes locked. “As it happens, I have recently been taught that happiness can be found in the unlikeliest of places.”
“Then… are you saying I have a chance?” Grant asked, redirecting Darcy’s attention. “You will allow me to court her?”
“At present? No. As I have said, she is not out and too young to enter into such a relationship.” Beholding Grant’s crestfallen expression, Darcy continued, “However, I will give you leave to… spend time in her company. To get to know her, properly. When she makes her debut next season, if her feelings have grown to match your own… well, then we shall see.”
To Conquer Pride Page 27