I said
I said I would always love you
(Now the decayed man receives the stick. The woman rises. They advance…)
*
40
A throng of people, each of whom covers his eyes with a single hand. Entering from different sides, they bump together, recoil and bump again, settling at last into a tight group and craning their necks to the front like curious birds. For a long time they are silent and still. A naked woman of considerable beauty strides across what might have been their line of sight, her shoes making a characteristic sound. She makes no reference to them, nor do they seem to register her, but when she has gone, one of the throng drops his hand and stares, haunted, tortured by imagination. Time passes. The woman runs back, now wearing a hat and matching gloves. Her heels clatter like castanets. The sighted male frowns, not following her with his eyes but pained by the brief image that crossed his fixed stare. In the silence he cries, forlorn and childlike. He is uncomforted. As he at last controls his sobbing, the woman makes a third appearance, fully clothed in matching garments and holding an unfolded map, which she studies in relation to the scene, looking up, puzzled, studying again, her head turning from side to side. The sighted male, whose unmoving eyes imitate authentic blindness, senses her provocation…
MALE: My dear
My dear
(The woman, unhearing, turns the map around, squints at it, looks around again…)
My dear
My dear dear dear
(There is a loud, insolent whistle off. The woman, relieved and smiling, crushes the map in her hand and hurries away to her encounter. The sighted male replaces his hand over his eyes…)
*
WONDER AND WORSHIP IN THE DYING WARD
Characters
OSTEND A Woman of Terrible Fidelity
ARCHITECT A Broken Child
DOOBEE A Mender of Women and Cars
CHILDLIKE A Sickly Resident of a
Nurseless Home
ATTO “ ”
MOMPER “ ”
WINDUS “ ”
LOOS “ ”
SLUMP “ ”
PORTSLADE “ ”
ONSEE “ ”
ALDRINGTON “ ”
BASIN “ ”
A too-high window. Against it, as if to facilitiate observation, a long ladder. The sound of shuffling feet. The room fills with the pale forms of THE MORTALLY ILL and their animals. They stare out. Their dogs mew. Their rabbits fidget.
1
ATTO: Oh God / darling / Oh God / darling / Oh God / darling / Oh God / darling / Oh God / darling /
MOMPER: What? /
ATTO: Oh God / oh God /
MOMPER: What / darling / what? /
ATTO: Oh God /
Oh God /
Oh God /
2
WINDUS: Fuck /
3
WINDUS: Fuck /
LOOS: Shut up /
WINDUS: Fuck /
LOOS: Will you shut up /
PORTSLADE: You /
LOOS: Me? /
PORTSLADE: You shut up /
LOOS: She said silence /
PORTSLADE: Shut up then /
WINDUS: Fuck /
Fuck /
PORTSLADE: All right /
WINDUS: Fuck /
PORTSLADE: All right / all right /
WINDUS: Fuck /
LOOS: We heard you /
PORTSLADE: It’s all right / it’s all right /
4
CLING: Oh / Jesus /
LOOS: Silence she said / she said silence /
CLING: I know /
LOOS: Silence is silence /
SLUMP: All right /
CLING: I know /
SLUMP: All right / darling /
CLING: I know /
5
CLING: I know /
6
CLING: I KNOW /
7
CLING: I KNOW /
8
CLING: I KNOW /
MOMPER: All right /
PORTSLADE: All right / darling /
SLUMP: All right / all right /
CLING: Jesus /
PORTSLADE: All right / darling /
MOMPER: All right / all right /
SLUMP: All right /
CLING: Thank you /
SLUMP: Don’t thank me /
LOOS: Silence / she said /
MOMPER: All right /
9
CLING: Thank you /
10
LOOS: Thank you /
11
The faint whine of an electric motor. The appearance and disappearance of a woman prostrate on a mobile bed.
12
BASIN: She hates us /
LOOS: Shut up /
PORTSLADE: You shut up /
BASIN: She hates us /
ALDRINGTON: God /
Oh God /
MOMPER: All right / darling /
CLING: Jesus /
SLUMP: All right /
CLING: Just shut up /
PORTSLADE: You /
ALDRINGTON: God /
Oh God /
CLING: Shut her up /
ALDRINGTON: Oh God /
Oh God /
CLING: Or I will /
PORTSLADE: You will /
LOOS: Ha /
CLING: Yes /
LOOS: Ha /
CLING: Yes /
WINDUS: She said silence /
13
A CHILD, OR ONE SO SHRUNK AS TO RESEMBLE A CHILD, IS SEEN CLIMBING THE LADDER, PAINFULLY, RUNG BY RUNG.
WINDUS: Silence / she said /
14
The whimpering and fidgeting of animals. The whine of the mobile bed, which appears, passes, stops and reverses.
ARCHITECT: Coming / is she? / is she coming? /
(The CHILDLIKE hangs out the window. If it replies,
the reply is inaudible. A hint of irritation in the
repeated question causes a flutter of anxiety in the
MORTALLY ILL.)
Coming / or not? /
LOOS Is she coming? / coming / is she? /
/CLING ETC:
(The CHILDLIKE’s reply, if any reply was uttered,
is lost in the wind. THE MORTALLY ILL, rigid
with apprehension, stare at the prostrate ARCHITECT.
The dogs mew. The rabbits fidget.)
ARCHITECT: By car / presumably / the same brown car /
(THE MORTALLY ILL, unwilling to turn to the
ladder, convey the question once it is evident the
CHILDLIKE has failed to respond.)
SLUMP: Car /
PORTSLADE: Brown /
SLUMP: Same brown car /
(Failing to elicit a response, THE MORTALLY ILL call
shrilly.)
PORTSLADE: Car / or not? /
LOOS: Brown car / is there? /
ALDRINGTON: Car /
WINDUS: Car / darling /
ALDRINGTON: Or not? /
WINDUS: Or not? /
(The CHILDLIKE is seen idly to lift one foot off the
rung of the ladder, a sign of its concentration. Fear
fills THE MORTALLY ILL. The mobile bed, without
haste, moves off.)
15
The CHILDLIKE turns from the window.
CHILDLIKE: Off-white /
(THE MORTALLY ILL react to this single word with
a mixture of shame and curiosity.)
Off-white /
(The CHILDLIKE gazes over them, studying the backs
of their heads. The dogs mew.)
16
CHILDLIKE: (Coaxing a response.) Off-white /
(The provocation is too much for BASIN.)
BASIN: HER SKIRT /
(The mortally-ill tremble with relief.)
CHILDLIKE: (Gratified.) Off-white /
ATTO/SLUMP: HER UNDERWEAR /
(A surge of mischief and delight. The dogs bark
with relief. Now they all race to co
mplete
the narrative.)
WINDUS: I pressed my face /
CLING: I pressed my face to the window /
PORTSLADE: The condensation /
WINDUS: On the glass /
PORTSLADE: (Resenting the interruption.) The condensation /
MOMPER: On the glass / darling /
PORTSLADE: (Affirmatively.) The condensation on the glass /
LOOS: What was going on in there? /
SLUMP: Drowning /
ATTO: The only comparison /
ALDRINGTON: The only comparison /
MOMPER: I think /
(They are tickled by this phrase.)
ATTO: I think /
ALDRINGTON I THINK /
/BASIN:
ATTO: The only comparison /
ALL: I THINK /
(They laugh.)
ATTO: Is drowning /
WINDUS: Frost /
LOOS: Rust /
ALDRINGTON: Petrol /
LOOS: Chrome /
MOMPER: I pressed my face to the window /
WINDUS: Frost /
ATTO: Rust /
LOOS: Petrol /
ALDRINGTON: Chrome /
SLUMP: And then the door /
PORTSLADE: (Anticipating.) And then the door fell open /
ALL: WHY? /
(They shake with laughter.)
SLUMP: I /
LOOS: I /
BASIN: I / a child /
LOOS: A child / a little /
MOMPER: Not yet / darling /
LOOS: Not yet? /
MOMPER: (Correcting him.) Another door /
PORTSLADE: And then the door fell open /
SLUMP: I / a child /
MOMPER: Correct /
LOOS: (Affirmatively.) A child / a little child /
MOMPER: Yup /
LOOS: When the door fell open /
ALDRINGTON: Saw /
(They seem to lose the inspiration that has driven the narrative. The dogs mew. The rabbits squirm. they frown. At last BASIN mutters the word)
BASIN: My mother /
(They are reluctant to follow BASIN, who is obliged to proceed alone.)
Beautifully joyless /
(He waits for assistance.)
Beautifully joyless and /
(None comes.)
open-thighed /
CLING: (Helpfully now.) Darling /
BASIN: Her still grey eyes on mine /
CLING: Darling /
(Again, a reluctance, overcome at last.)
LOOS: Her stripped immensity /
ALDRINGTON: Nothing concealed /
PORTSLADE: Nothing concealed and /
MOMPER: (Discipling PORTSLADE.) Rust /
PORTSLADE: (Conceding.) Rust /
BASIN: Petrol /
CLING: Chrome /
PORTSLADE: Nothing concealed and off-white /
CHILDLIKE: Off-white /
WINDUS: Her underwear /
MOMPER: Wide-open /
CLING: Her knees /
ALDRINGTON: And me /
LOOS: Not yet /
CHILDLIKE: Off-white /
ALDRINGTON: Sorry /
ATTO: Off-white upholstery /
MOMPER: (To ALDRINGTON.) Now /
ALDRINGTON: And me /
SLUMP: A child /
ALDRINGTON: Properly joyless /
CLING: Her stripped immensity /
(The conclusion of the narrative leaves them tender,
frail. Some bite their lips in their anxiety.
The animals fidget in sympathy.)
17
In the near-silence, the whine of the electric motor precedes the appearance of ARCHITECT and the bed. CHILDLIKE scrambles to its look-out. ARCHITECT stops the bed.
ARCHITECT: A car? / A car / or not? /
CHILDLIKE: (Turning to her.) Brown car? /
ATTO BROWN / BROWN / BROWN CAR /
/SLUMP ETC:
(CHILDLIKE gazes out. The MORTALLY
ILL shift uncomfortably. They inhale and exhale. At
last, ARCHITECT, permanently fixed on her right
side, gives her narrative.)
ARCHITECT: And then the door fell open / why? /
(The suffers her recollection.)
Why? /
ALL: (Raggedly.) We can’t think why /
(ARCHITECT frowns from the effort of her
meditation.)
ARCHITECT: Darling / wide-open / her knees / darling / and I /
ALL: We can’t think why / the door fell open /
ARCHITECT: A child /
ALL: Her eyes on mine /
ARCHITECT: Beautifully joyless /
ALL: Wide-open eyes / wide open knees /
ARCHITECT: Her stripped immensity /
(ARCHITECT struggles with the image.)
18
A woman enters, unannounced.
CHILDLIKE: (Still at its perch.) Brown car /
(OSTEND’s measured footsteps draw CHILDLIKE’s
attention. She stops. ARCHITECT, paralyzed on her side,
cannot observe her mother, who plays with her gloves.
CHILDLIKE squirms in its frustration.)
Off-white /
OSTEND: I walked /
CHILDLIKE: UPHOLSTERY /
OSTEND: I wanted to walk / notwithstanding I am not dressed for walking / these last few yards / from the lodge to the porch / the surface of the drive / the condition of the lodge / I must say / dismayed me /
ARCHITECT: I am sorry you were dismayed /
OSTEND: Terribly dismayed / meanwhile he followed me /
ARCHITECT: He? /
OSTEND: Avoiding the pot-holes / to the best of his ability /
ARCHITECT: He? /
OSTEND: I hate alteration/ the least alteration dismays me /
ARCHITECT: I am sorry you are dismayed /
OSTEND: Sorry / are you sorry / darling? /
ARCHITECT: I think so / yes / on the other hand / to learn you are dismayed comes as no surprise to me /
CHILDLIKE: OFF-WHITE /
OSTEND: Decay is one thing /
CHILDLIKE: UPHOLSTERY /
OSTEND: Neglect is quite another /
ARCHITECT: Certainly /
OSTEND: Decay is tolerable / and not without a certain charm / neglect is irredeemably offensive /
ARCHITECT: Yes /
OSTEND: Decay arrives / neglect’s invited /
ARCHITECT: I agree with that distinction /
CHILDLIKE: (A barometer of strained atmospheres.) AND THE DASHBOARD WALNUT /
ARCHITECT: (Patiently.) Neglect / I feel certain / is the effect that I intended /
CHILDLIKE: WALNUT ALSO THE LINING OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT /
(THE MORTALLY ILL tremble in their anxiety.
Their animals whimper.)
THE SLIDE-OUT TRAY / AND THE VANITY /
(A long whine from a dog.)
SHELF /
OSTEND: (Without evident resentment.) So you admit you wanted me to be dismayed? /
ARCHITECT: That doesn’t follow /
OSTEND: You wanted me to be dismayed and / as I have frankly confessed / I am dismayed / you have / therefore /
ARCHITECT: That doesn’t follow /
OSTEND: Been wholly successful in /
ARCHITECT: NONE OF THAT CAN BE INFERRED FROM WHAT I SAID /
(Her vehemence stills the room. OSTEND plays with a glove.)
Let me see you now / let me see you / you know my field of vision / let me see you / mother /
(OSTEND delays her response.)
19
A man enters, evidently a chauffeur. He stops. OSTEND passes to the front of the mobile bed.
OSTEND: (Gazing on her daughter.) Darling /
DOOBEE: About the car /
OSTEND: Darling /
DOOBEE: About the car /
CHILDLIKE: (Delighted.) BROWN CAR /
(THE MORTALLY ILL giggle.)
DOOBEE: The car / and me /
&
nbsp; ARCHITECT: Your hands are claws /
DOOBEE: Me / the car / and the laws of the car /
OSTEND: Darling /
DOOBEE: For example /
(He makes short, energetic pacing moves.)
The difference / the sublime and awesome difference between the front seats and the back /
ARCHITECT: Kiss / kiss /
DOOBEE: The social / psychological / and metaphysical / distinction between the front seats and the back /
(He is suddenly ugly.)
DON’T PRETEND YOU UNDERSTAND IT /
OSTEND: (Kissing her daughter’s forehead.) Promise not to touch you with my claws / my shrunken / and prematurely senile claws /
(They laugh mildly. DOOBEE sways in his rage.)
DOOBEE: Pretending to understand / in my opinion / is vastly / vastly worse / than admitting that you don’t / and you don’t / you don’t understand / it is a question of permission / not just who sits in the front / and who sits in the back / but who has permission /
(He marches briefly and stops.)
PERMISSION TO ENTER THE BACK /
(He frowns. His lip quivers.)
I could weep /
(He shakes his head forlornly.)
Yes / weep / not because you are ignorant / why should I care how little you understand / or how much? / but because your ignorance condemns me to an everlasting solitude /
Barker, Plays Eight Page 24