“W-We’re sorry. For using your name. B-But you know, you’re famous. Hey, let’s make a deal. Let us serve you. We can...” Akuto cut the man in the white suit off with a shake of his head.
“No. That’s not what I want to hear.” There was no anger in his voice, but the moment he spoke, the man in white began screaming. His right arm was twisted in an unnatural direction, and the sound of something snapping could be heard.
“Gyaaaah! I’m Sorry! I’m sorry! That wasn’t what I meant to say... We’ll leave this place alone... So...”
“That’s not it either,” Akuto said, in a voice like you’d use to scold a child, and then turned his gaze to the man’s left hand. This time it was that hand which began to bend and twist. Another scream echoed through the woods.
“You’re apologizing to the wrong person. If this is that hard for you to understand...” Akuto waved a hand.
The black mages all floated up into the air, and their bodies lined up in a row before him. As they floated there frozen in terror, he took on the voice of a teacher.
“Now, who can tell me the right answer?”
But nobody said a word. He shook his head in disgust.
“You need to say you’re sorry to the three of them.” Akuto waved a hand. The five closest to him began to scream as their arms twisted. Those whose arms were still intact quickly began to apologize.
“We’re sorry! W-We’re sorry!”
But Akuto cut them off. “Don’t say you’re sorry just because I made you!”
Another five limbs snapped. The black mages flopped to the ground, squirming like invertebrates.
“Now, who here can tell me what you need to do?” he asked again. But once again nobody answered him. He repeated himself again, and again, and by the time he was done, at least 30 black mages were lying on the ground, screaming and flailing helplessly.
“T-This is terrifying, gyah.”
“H-He’s worse than they are...”
“Gugah...”
The trio could do nothing but huddle together and shiver.
“Why don’t you get it? All you need to do is apologize, and then say you’re going to go straight...” Akuto shook his head, frowning.
“W-We swear... we swear...” The man in the white suit moaned. But Akuto shook his head.
“I told you... Don’t say that just because I told you to,” Akuto said. He went to snap another one of the man’s limbs, but he realized there were no more bones left to break.
“Well, whatever. What’s important is that you understand this for yourself. That’s what I’m trying to say here,” Akuto whispered, and the men went floating into the air. Mana began to flow into their broken limbs, which rapidly repaired themselves. The blood returned to their faces. They smiled in relief, as tears of regret flowed down their faces.
“T-Thank you... We understand. We’ll go straight...” The man in white got on his knees and bowed in front of Akuto. An unhappy light gleamed in Akuto’s eyes.
“I told you. You’re apologizing to the wrong person. Now you’re just making it look like you’re apologizing because I hurt you!” he yelled. This time he snapped every bone in the man in white’s body.
“Gyaaah!”
The black mages could do nothing but shudder. Even the trio couldn’t speak. Akuto looked down at the men coldly.
“Now, we’re going to do the ‘snap your bones and then heal them’ thing until every one of you understands. And if even one of you doesn’t get it, I’m going to do it to all of you. Are we clear?” None of the black mages had the strength left to say a word.
“I think I’ve seen this before somewhere, gyah...”
“It reminds me of my elementary school P.E. teacher.”
All Kanna and Michie could do was shiver as they watched the scene unfold. It was like a scene out of hell, as bones were continually shattered and rebuilt. By the time of this third cycle of destruction and recreation, the old couple of the house had sensed something going on and peeked out of their broken front door.
“Aaaah!”
“Uwaaah!”
The two of them were too frightened to stand. In front of them they saw the Demon King, standing coldly, surrounded by the broken bodies of tough-looking men that were squirming in puddles of their own blood. Not many people could stay sane, faced with a sight like that.
“It’s the real Demon King!”
“P-Please don’t kill us...!”
The two of them screamed, and passed out. When he saw this, a glimmer of remorse came into his eyes. He walked over to the trio and scratched his head.
“Sorry. I forgot where I was.”
“...N-No, it was a lot worse than that, gyah.”
“Y-You um... ya went a little too far...”
“Gugah.”
The three of them shook their heads. Then a rock came flying at them. It almost hit Kanna, before Akuto knocked it away with his hand.
“Monami...”
“Uwaaaahhn! I knew you were all with the Demon King! That’s why you hurt all these people in front of my house, and knocked out my masters! The place is a mess! Leave! Leave!” Monami screamed and cried as she threw rocks at them.
“Actually...” Kanna went to say something, but Michie stopped her.
“Well... It’s fine, ya know. It’s all over now.”
“Gugah...” Arnoul stood up and motioned at the two of them. Kanna nodded and stood up too. She walked a little bit aways and looked back at Monami, but all she got was another rock thrown at her.
“Oh... I’m sorry. I don’t... I don’t know what to say. I’m gonna clean up.” Akuto frowned, and then began to load the black mages up into the excavator’s shovel. Then he picked the excavator up with one hand, flung it over his shoulder, and walked off in the opposite direction.
Kanna chuckled a little as she watched him go.
“That’s crazy...”
“I feel stupid for taking this seriously...”
“Gugah...”
The three of them began to walk home through the night, pausing once in a while to look back at the inn.
“That was one hell of a day off, gyah...”
“It wasn’t much of a day off, actually...”
“Gugah.”
“Yeah. We skipped work... and wait, we’re out past curfew!”
“Aaah! Dat’s right!”
“Gugahaaahgugahgugah!”
“Don’t panic, Arnoul! Oh, but... the President’s gonna punish us!”
“Sigh...And all I wanted was to eat some pizza...”
○
“Normally, I’d be giving you ‘Grannie’s Whuppin,’ a punishment so bad you’ll regret being born, but... Your punishment is that you have to sleep outside tonight,” Lily Shiraishi said to them when they got back home. She had a look on her face like there was an itch she couldn’t scratch.
“S-Sleep outside...?”
“That’s right. In other words, no dinner, no beds, no going out to have fun. Sleep on the mountain behind the school. That’s all.”
“Um... is that really all?”
“Don’t make me repeat myself! Or maybe you want a real punishment?” Lily yelled. The three of them decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and fled. They found a relatively flat piece of ground on the mountain, and the three of them all huddled together and looked at the stars.
“How did this happen to us?” Kanna sighed as she set down. Michie frowned.
“Complaining will just make us hungry. And anyway, a wild animal like you doesn’t care if it gets dirty, but I do.”
“You’re already dirty from all the fighting, gyah. Don’t let it bug you, gyah.”
“Man... It pisses me off we lost that fight, too. What a crappy day...”
“Gugah.”
“Yeah, that’s right. All that fighting made me hungry, too.” Michie lay down on the ground, no longer caring that it would mess up her cape. And then she sighed.
“I want a pizza so b
ad... Mozzarella, gouda... Tomato, paprika, salami...”
“Shut up, gyah. You’re making me hungry.”
“I can’t help it!” Michie flailed her limbs against the ground. Then they heard a voice.
“Um...”
“Hmm?”
The three of them looked over to see Akuto climbing up the mountain, holding a large sack.
“W-What do you want, gyah?” Kanna said, turning her gaze away. It was nobody’s fault, but what had happened had left them feeling pretty awkward.
“I took care of things. I also went and bent the arms of some of the knights, too. No, forget about that. Um... I heard what you were saying.” He sounded like he felt awkward, too.
“What we were saying?” Michie asked. Akuto put down the sack and began to gather up rocks.
“Yeah. You wanted pizza, right? And the President punished you by taking away your food.”
“What’s that got to do with gathering rocks?”
“You can bake it in a makeshift oven. So I was going to make you some pizza. I brought dough and ingredients.” Akuto laid out the stones in the shape of a makeshift heart, and opened the sack for them to see.
“Ooh!”
“Aaah!”
“Gugah!”
The three of them gasped, their eyes shining.
“Wow, gyah! So this is how you seduced all those women!”
“You seduced ’em with pizza!”
“...Um, I don’t have to make this for you, you know.”
“It was a joke, gyah! My way of saying I’m in love with you, gyah!”
“Dat’s right! Now, let’s see it! The red food! The red food!”
“...Why red? Well, whatever. Go get me some kindling.”
“Gugah.”
“Then I’ll stuff some earth in between the stones...”
And then, the 4 of them began to make pizza. In a few minutes, they had a big, round, crispy pizza, all waiting for them.
“Gyah! Gyah!”
“Oooh!”
“Gugah!”
The three of them stared excitedly at the pizza. Kanna even turned into a beast when she saw how round it was. They swarmed the pizza like hungry children. By the time they were done, they’d eaten three whole pies.
“Alright, I’m gonna head back. I want to sleep on a bed.” After having several slices of pizza himself, Akuto stood up to go.
“Aww, stay here and sleep with us!”
“That’s right! Have your way with us!”
Kanna and Michie pleaded jokingly. But after he left, they immediately got tired. Kanna turned into a beast and curled up in a ball, while Michie and Arnoul slept on her stomach.
“Oh, you know... I was just thinking,” Michie said as she looked at the sky.
“What’s that, gyah?”
“It was probably Akuto Sai who got the president not to punish us so hard...”
When Kanna heard this, she was silent for a moment, before letting out a small sigh of admiration.
“Oh, you may be right, gyah. But... A good guy wouldn’t break people’s bones when he lectured them like that, gyah.”
“You may be right... Well, forget it. Just go to sleep...”
“Gugah.”
“I’m a little worried about Monami, though, gyah...”
“She’s still got da wrong idea about us... But there’s no sense in thinkin’ bout it...”
And then the three of them went to sleep. But in the morning, someone came to wake them up.
“Get up.”
It was Nozomi Sasahara, the maid/janitor who was fast becoming famous at the school.
“Mhph...”
“W-Why are you coming to wake us up?”
They looked up, confused, to see Nozomi handing them her work handbook.
“I got this message, and sent it to the Student Council President. And she said to just show it to you guys directly. She said to wake you up, while we were at it.” Nozomi showed them an image on her handbook’s display. It was a letter, written in terrible handwriting.
“I’m sorry. A message came to my masters. Thank you guys. You weren’t with the Demon King. Sorry again. Thank you — Monami.”
“The President must have told her...”
“...Whew. That’s a relief.”
“Gugah.”
The three of them smiled, a little embarrassed, but very relieved.
“Why does a letter from this idiot make you so happy? She doesn’t know how to send messages herself, so she wrote it out on paper and had mom take a picture and send that. That’s how stupid she is. All she’s good for is digging up yams,” Nozomi said, confused.
Michie’s eyes went wide.
“Huh? Mom? Oh... that’s right! That run-down old inn’s name was ”Sasahara!”
“That’s because it’s my house. And I’m sorry you think it’s ‘run-down.’ But well, that won’t be a problem for long. With my genius alchemy, I’m going to turn the place into a brand spanking new building. I’ve already got everything ready. There’s these nasty guys who claim the Demon King is backing them. I told them to go after the place, and then I told him. The two of them are going to run into each other, and the Demon King will win. Once word gets out out that the Demon King defended the place personally, it’ll be famous and worth a ton. Then we can sell a bit of it and rake in the dough... Hmm?”
Nozomi sensed something was wrong, and looked at the trio. They had looks on their faces like a man who’d spent 10 years tracking down his parents’ killer, and finally found him.
“...So it was yer doin’.”
“...I think it’s time for ‘Grandma’s Whuppin.’”
“Gugah.”
“...Huh? What’s going on? Why are you mad?” Nozomi began to back away from them as they drew closer.
Nozomi never said what happened next, and neither did the three of them.
4 - Welcome to the Ghost Inn
“Perfect...! My plan is perfect! Perfect! Amazing! Wonderful! The whole world will be mine!” Nozomi smiled to herself in the janitor’s room. On her notebook were the words “Final Empress Project” In other words, her final project to become empress.
“This is my final plan... Bringing the Empress to my house! And then, I can use the unique nature of my home to confuse her mind, and make her give me the throne!” she shouted to the empty room. Her beautiful forehead reflected the light from the room’s ceiling.
“What do you mean, ‘the unique nature of your home?’”
“I mean the ghost! Sasahara is haunted by a ghost! Wait... uwah!” Nozomi noticed a person behind her and screamed. She wasn’t alone in the room. Korone was standing behind her.
“W-What are you doing here?”
“That’s a strange question. You sent a letter to the Empress with tickets to your inn, correct?” Korone dangled the letter in front of her.
“T-That’s the letter I sent! Why is the first step of my plan here, instead of with the Empress?”
“You’re very stupid, aren’t you? I am the Empress’s servant. I read all her mail.”
“I-I didn’t realize it worked that way...! So, why are you here?”
“I’ve done my research on your inn. And I think we’re going to go.”
“Oh no! My plan’s failed already! And it was perfect, too... Huh? You’re going to go? Go where?” Halfway through her sentence, Nozomi realized what Korone had just said, and looked up at her face.
“We’re going to spend the night at Sasahara. Just like the ticket says.”
“Huh? You are? Why?”
“If you’re asking why, does that mean you don’t want us to stay?”
“No, of course I do...”
“Then it’s settled. Oh, one more thing. The ticket says we’ll get a discount, but I would prefer we got to stay for free.”
“F-Free...!”
“You don’t want us to stay?”
“W-Well... maybe just the Empress could stay for free?” Nozomi stammered.
“Very well. There are others who are likely to want to come as well... But I’m sure you’ll be more than willing to accomodate them.”
“U-Um...” Nozomi called out to Korone as she turned to leave.
“What is it?”
“It’s just um... why are you going along with this, when you know my plan?” Korone’s answer was immediate.
“Because it sounds fun.”
“Huh?”
Korone quickly followed up as Nozomi’s mouth dropped open.
“That was a joke. Well, half of a joke.”
“H-Half...? Then what’s the other half?” Nozomi asked, but Korone didn’t answer.
“It’s a secret.”
“A secret...” Nozomi didn’t know what to say, so Korone simply left the room.
“Aww... Now I’m curious. But wait, this is my chance. I can come up with an even more amazing plan!” Now that she was fired up, Nozomi began to think of an even more ridiculous plan.
○
“I’ve got tickets to a hot springs! Let’s go!” Keena said, happily waving the tickets around.
“I see. That’s great,” Akuto said without looking up from the book he was reading on his screen. Like always, Keena was inside Akuto’s room, chowing down on candied rice. Akuto’s response was nothing new for him, but Keena frowned.
“That’s not what I meant. You’re coming with me.”
“Huh?” Akuto turned around as Keena spread out three tickets like a fan. “Three tickets... So you, me, and Korone?”
“That’s right! It’ll be fun. It’s free! Rice at an inn tastes different than usual rice!” Keena said excitedly, but Akuto thought deeply for a moment.
“But won’t you cause a commotion if you stay at a place like that? And I don’t know if it’s okay for us to go alone...” Akuto said, but Korone quickly came down from the ceiling and intervened.
“All steps to ensure our security and keep the paparazzi away have been completed. All that’s required now is for you to not attempt to molest the Empress.”
“That’s right! Korone knows what I’m talking about. I’m so exhausted from this whole Empress thing, and I really need a break!”
“But you don’t actually do any work... No, I guess that doesn’t matter. It feels like something else is going on—” Korone shot him a glance to shut him up before he could continue that line of thought. Akuto returned her glance, and took a ticket.
Demon King Daimaou: Volume 10 Page 9