Wes keeps blowing up my phone with I’m sorry voicemails. It’s gotten to the point that I just delete them without even listening. I guess he’s getting under my dad’s skin at the office too. Constantly bugging him trying to get him to talk to me on his behalf. I guess that is one positive about the show. Wes won’t be able to reach me during filming. When I get to my Nan’s house there is a manila envelope waiting for me on the kitchen counter.
“What’s this?” I open it up and it looks like more release forms. I scan them over and at the end there is a note that says that these need to be signed and returned today. I just want to scream. I should take these to my father but that would mean looking at Barb and there is no way in hell I am calling Wes for this.
I am not in the mood for more paperwork and stupidly sign off on whatever this is. It’s not like they don’t own me already. I’m at their mercy. Whatever they say goes pretty much. I shove the forms back in the envelope and down in my bag. I’ll hand them over when I get to the house that we are all moving into temporarily. My phone buzzes with a text from Ruby Jane inviting me to dinner.
RJ: I promise my brother won’t be here. I have pizza and that new Bradley Cooper movie.
I smile. She knows I have been wanting to see it.
Peyton: If this is a setup you are so dead.
I sit with my Nan for a few minutes longer but my desire to watch that movie and my grumbling stomach sends me walking down the street. I don’t even bother knocking. I’ve been in and out of this house so many times it feels more like a second home than my dad’s place does.
Rodney is asleep in the recliner, and Thea is in the kitchen drinking coffee and reading a book.
I find Ruby Jane in her room sitting on a bean bag devouring three slices of pizza. Pizza sauce drips off the corners of her lips and I laugh.
I know some people might find our friendship weird because of our age difference, but she’s like the little sister I never had. Her and Jameson were always close. They didn’t have the best childhood when they were with their mother, so I made it my duty to look after Ruby Jane. I knew what it felt like to not have a mother. Barb tried to fill the role, but we have never been close. I feel closer to Ruby’s Aunt Thea than I do her.
I plop down on the other bean bag and swipe a slice of pizza. The movie starts and for a few hours I am able to forget all my troubles.
“You’ve been super quiet. What’s going on with you?” I question as we clean up our drinks and paper plates.
She chews on her thumbnail. “I want to say something, but I don’t want you to get mad at me.”
“You know you can tell me anything.”
“You promise you won’t be mad at me?”
“I promise.” I can’t imagine her ever doing anything that would make me seriously upset with her.
“My brother…,” she starts, and I inwardly cringe. “I know he did stuff that hurt you, but I think you should hear his side of things.”
“Listen, chick, I adore you as if you were my own blood, but he’s had five years to reach out to me. It’s a little late for that.”
“I just think if you knew everything it could change your perspective.”
I offer her a faint smile. “It doesn’t matter anymore. We’ve both moved on,” I tell her pointedly.
“Have you really though? We both know you felt relief at getting to call off things with Wes.”
I glance at the clock. “Stop being wiser than your years. I gotta go finish packing my luggage.”
“Fine. What time are you leaving?”
“About the time you go to school.”
“Well, good luck tomorrow.” She grins mischievously. This girl. God love her heart.
I nod and close her bedroom door behind me.
As I am leaving, I can hear Thea and Rodney fighting in their bedroom. Damn, is every relationship doomed to fail? I know they’ve had their problems, but I thought they had worked through them. They are just further proof that sometimes love just isn’t enough.
Just like with Jameson and me.
Like I said. There are no happily ever afters.
Fairytales only exist in books and on the screen.
Nothing lasts forever.
**
Taking a deep breath, I grab my last bag and walk out the door to the car that is waiting out front for me to take me to the house I am going to be living in for the next month or however long the filming lasts. When I slide into the backseat, I immediately see that I am not alone.
“What are you doing here?” I question Jameson. He’s like a damn virus that I can’t get rid of. A hot good looking charm your panties off if you didn’t know better virus. His dark hair is rumpled perfectly like he’s been running his fingers through it.
His grin widens and I try not to get pulled in by him and that damn dimple in his right cheek. “I was visiting Ruby Jane so I figured it would be easier if I picked you up and we rode to the house together.” He winks on the word together. Ugh as if. No thanks.
“You’re going to be living there too?” I fold my arms over my chest.
“That going to be a problem for you?”
“Nope.” I pop the P. “No problem. You stay out of my way, and I will stay out of yours.” I twist away from him and glare out the window wondering if I can make a run for Mexico and just go into hiding instead.
“We’re going to be working together a lot, Peyton, and living together, we should make time to talk.”
I don’t bother looking at him, how can I? Everything just keeps going from bad to worse for me lately, and if I look at him, I’m afraid I’ll break down crying. And the last thing I want right now is for Jameson to comfort me.
“Talk about what?” I sigh, resting my head on the window, not turning around.
“You know what. I’ve missed you, Fancy. For years I’ve been drowning, there are things that need to be said.” He grabs my hand, but I pull it away.
“We have nothing to talk about anymore, Jameson. If you wanted to talk, you shouldn’t have run away. But you did, and here we are. Judging by all the gossip rags you’ve been doing just fine without me dating your supermodel girlfriends or whatever. We might have to work together and tolerate one another for this show, but the minute it’s over, I want you to do what you’re good at and disappear.”
He grabs my shoulders, making me face him. “We both know that’s bullshit. When the show is over, you’re coming out to LA to record the album you were always meant to do with me. I know I fucked up, but I will make it up to you. We’ll save our talk for later, once we’re more settled in at the house and on the show. For now, all I can say is I’m sorry, and I still love you. I never stopped, Peyton.” He holds my gaze and god it hurts to look into those eyes that used to consume me and not want to get lost in them just like old times. Things are different now.
My jaw clenches. How could he still possibly love me? He was the one that shattered me.
He walked away and never even bothered to send me a damn get-well card when he practically killed me.
There is nothing he can do to make me forgive him.
Absolutely nothing.
Chapter 20
Jameson
The rest of the car ride to the house is quiet. After I told her I still loved her, she refused to speak again. I swear for a moment I thought she was going to kiss me, but it looks like I need to work on getting her to even consider talking to me. To at least hear me out about what happened back then. I know I done her wrong, but I was young and scared out of my mind. I had the opportunity of a lifetime waiting for me and I couldn’t pass it up. She’s wrong about one thing though. I did try to reach out to her and the moment I did Barb threw the wreck in my face and threatened to ruin my career before it even had a chance to take off. Maybe I was a bit selfish, but I thought Peyton would be better off without me.
Maybe coming back here was a mistake but I can’t shake the feeling deep in my heart that aches for her. That knows that we are
n’t finished. Not by a long shot. I sit back in my seat and give her some space. All I want to do is tell this driver to take us somewhere private and force her to face her fears and our past. That would only serve in pushing her further away. Peyton has never taken lightly to being told what to do.
The production company rented a private estate about an hour drive from the city. A gated driveway, fully staffed mansion. There’s a gym, sauna, tennis court, and pool. I think there is even a stable and private lake located at the back of the property. Everyone has their own assigned room. I smile when I see my name on the door that’s next to Peyton’s.
I go inside my room, leaving the door slightly open so I can hear when Peyton finds hers, and she doesn’t disappoint me. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I hear her mutter, making me grin. She might want to get away from me, but I’m not letting her. I’ve spent enough of my life without her, fucking it all up.
I look around the room and notice it has its own private bath, I wonder if all the rooms are like this, the place sure is big enough.
As the day wears on more contestant arrive and the other judges. I grit my teeth when I look out my window and see fucking Viola getting out of a car. This is like my own personal hell of girlfriend’s past except I want Peyton to be my future. We are all supposed to go down by the pool for a meet and greet to get all of our housemates acquainted.
I change into a pair of board shorts and go down by the pool. Peyton is already dipping her toes in the water. I’m about to hook an arm around her waist and take us both over the edge when one of the other contestants beats me to it.
Water splashes hitting my legs and my chest.
I want to take this dude out for putting his hands on her, and I don’t even know him.
Peyton pops up out of the water, sputtering. Her hair is clinging to her shoulders but that’s not what has my attention. Her fucking white bikini is practically see-through, and I can see her fucking nipples through the fabric now that it’s wet. A low growl erupts in my throat when this dude goes at her again, pushing her head down underwater. I’m about to jump in and drown his ass when Peyton comes up again laughing.
She smirks at me then starts splashing the guy back. My jaw ticks, and I walk away before I end up in jail for assault. I find my way to the open bar only to find there isn’t any alcohol. What the fuck? I groan and take a water and start slapping together a hamburger from the buffet table. I hear a familiar laugh tickling at my ear. “Someone’s not happy.” Viola’s voice grates on my nerves even further.
“We have nothing to say to one another.”
“Oh, come off it, Jameson. I thought being here in this house might be good for us. I could come by your room later…”
“I’ll pass. Been there done that. No repeats.” I finish adding my toppings even though I’m not even hungry and stomp off to where Jace Cyrus is sitting with a few of the other contestants. All of them are watching Peyton and that J.J. guy.
“Wouldn’t they make a cute couple,” some chick says, and I glare at her. She shrinks back and stays quiet. I continue to watch Peyton. This industry will eat her alive of she isn’t careful.
Flashback
It ain’t about the clothes you wear
Or the way you style your hair
It’s the things you do
The sounds you make
All the hearts you break
All the promises you’ll never make
Like no one else
One of a kind
It ain’t about the clothes you wear
Or the way you style your hair
Looking around this executive’s office, I feel out of place. I don’t know what in the hell I am doing here. One minute I was at home freaking out about Peyton and the next I had some manager knocking down the door with a plane ticket saying all my dreams were about to come true. Thea practically shoved me onto the plane. Everything is happening so damn fast. Everyone wants a piece of me. I don’t have anything to give them. All the parts of me that matter are back in Tennessee with her. With Peyton.
“You’re young. Get out there and live. Meet girls. Just don’t settle down or make any promises. Women all over the world are going to be screaming your name and putting your picture as their screensavers. Your image is a bad boy. Show this industry just how bad you can be. Just don’t fuck up your face.”
I sigh inwardly but I know Shaker is right. If I want to get anywhere in this business, I need a persona. Talent alone isn’t what sells. I need to be a jerk. I need to be the guy Peyton probably thinks that I am. If I could just get her on the phone to explain that things are changing with my music, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t be together. She just needs to graduate high school first.
“Don’t worry. Your new wardrobe is on the way along with your driver. Hell, we even have you new friends. Don’t fuck this up, kid. You’re going to be a Goddamned superstar.”
Scrubbing my hands over my face I sigh. I don’t need new friends or new clothes. All I need—all I want is back in Tennessee. I can’t help but wonder about Peyton. Thea tries to pass along updates but that bitch, Barb, won’t tell her much. I guess she’s out of the hospital and living with her dad again. I want to call her just to hear her voice, but I promised I’d stay away. I’ve hurt her enough, but I still love her. I always will.
You are mine
I am yours
I don’t wanna fuck around
Baby come home
Those hazel eyes see into my soul
My heart only beats for yours
I see you in my dreams
Baby come home
You are mine
I am yours
Let’s not fuck around
I see your smile fading
I feel your love drifting out to sea
Baby come home
We were meant to be
Can’t you hear me
Ooh ooh
Enough fucking around
Baby come home
Chapter 21
Peyton
All the pretty lies
They bled me dry
Promising I was your fancy girl
All these memories haunt me
Your love consumed me
And spit me out
Tell me more
Give me more
Feed me more of your bitter pills
You said you loved me
Only to leave me alone in the end
A hole in my heart
Black tarnished soul
All that remains are the memories
All the pretty lies
You said I’d always be your favorite girl
Feed me more of your bitter pills
Drug me
Love me
Lie to me
Leave me alone with the memories
Tiny pieces of the life we would build fading away
Flower petals falling to the ground
Snowflakes melting on my tongue
All we were…lies and memories
Blood on my hands
My heart on the floor
I was your fancy girl with diamonds and pearls
Sitting here in this chair having my hair and makeup professionally done seems like a dream. This is all so surreal. I’m trying to ignore the fact that I have to share in this once in a lifetime opportunity with Jameson. I won’t let him ruin this for me. The past is over. We have both moved on with our lives. Him sooner than I did, but I need to let go and focus on the now. I know he thinks we need to talk, but the time for talking is long gone. Dredging up the past will only do us both harm. I don’t want to go back. I’ve wasted so much time wondering why, but I have to face the reality that the why doesn’t matter. It won’t change what occurred between us.
I stare at my reflection and dang this makeup artist doing my face and hair is the best. I look like a movie star. A real bad ass with sleek but wavy hair rolling over my shoulders. My lips are a matte peachy shade that really brings out my ey
es. I move to wardrobe and am dressed in a white sheer dress with a lace overlay that cuts off at my knees. The ensemble is complete with a sunflower pendant necklace, cropped jean jacket, and brown boots.
There is time to kill before we take to the stage for dress rehearsals, so I take the time to wander around set soaking it all in. the lights, the cameras…everything that makes up the stage. The stage we all are to perform on has black shiny flooring with the show’s logo in the center with a gold star. I never thought I would be getting my chance. I kind of wrote music off after things with Jameson. I went through years of depression after my miscarriage. College was good for me, but I sort of just existed and didn’t really live. Sure, I went out and made friends but none of it ever felt genuine. It was hard to trust anyone after being so shattered by the one person I thought would never in a million years hurt me. I pursued a teaching degree in early education. I am supposed to start a new job in the fall. Wes didn’t want me to work. He wanted to start a family. I thought that I wanted that too, but maybe I just didn’t want it with him.
When I met Wes, I was just coming out of the fog and off my medication I was prescribed for depression. I thought I could be happy with him and in time learn to love him. Turns out he was just another wolf in sheep’s clothing. I know I was wrong for leading him on, but it doesn’t excuse his behavior with me.
“Hey. Peyton, right?” I turn around to see Viola, the host of the show sashaying toward me with an eager smile. She’s gorgeous if you are into the skinny waif with huge implants, hair extensions, lip injections, and teeth so white they don’t even appear real look. I know it sounds bitchy but women like her give girls everywhere a false sense of what beauty is and the strive to be like that and so perfect is an epidemic.
“Oh. Hey.” I return her smile though mine isn’t quite as bright.
“What do you think? It’s pretty amazing isn’t it?”
I bob my head. “It is. I was just soaking it all in you know. Had to pinch myself.”
“Who do you think is your biggest competition? Just between us girls.” She winks.
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