Heartless King

by Hughes, Maya

  “It didn’t all work out.”

  Her head snapped up with a bewildered gaze.

  “How can you think I’m happy about the way things went with us? About how they are now.”

  “There never was an us.”

  “My point exactly. I know I’ve got some shit to figure out. The team shrink will get a chance to poke around in here for a bit.” I tapped the side of my head. “Maybe if I’d gone that way in the first place, they’d have gotten me back on the ice sooner and you’d have never been in the same position you were in.”

  “And you wouldn’t have needed me.” Her fingers tightened around mine for a half a breath.

  “I’ll always need you, Imo.” I covered our combined hands with mine.

  “Come in.” She reversed her hold and led me into her apartment. Setting down her bag, she looked over her shoulder at me.

  How had I lived without her? How had I thought what I’d felt before was love? Every glance, every smile, every touch was a gift with Imo. And I still didn’t believe I was lucky enough to receive it.

  Her cozy apartment. The one we hadn’t even spent a night in. She always came to my place with the ten foot ceilings and crown molding, but her place was just like she was. It made you instantly feel at home, like you’d immediately know where the silverware and towels were.

  “Did you want a drink? I have tea or coffee. There’s water and some juices.” She squinted and scratched the side of her head, backing up to the kitchen. “I’m not sure what kind, but I know I have some.”

  “Stop trying to take care of me. We need to talk.” I followed her.

  Her audible swallow brought a smile to my face. It wasn’t just men who hated those words.

  “Let me get you something.” She opened the cabinet, hiding her face.

  “You don’t—”

  “I know I don’t, but I want to.” When she peeked back at me her shirt lifted, showing off a band of skin. The small rounded bump made my heartrate triple.

  “Cranberry juice. I think I have some.” She clutched the cups to her chest.

  Cutting off her stalling technique, I plucked both cups out of her grasp and poured a glass for her and water for me. I set it down in front of her on the coffee table. Picking the chair diagonally from her, I hovered on the edge of my seat, trying to figure out the best way to say this.

  “What did you want to talk about?”

  “Us.”

  She nodded with the glass still up to her mouth, biding her time. After the world’s longest sip, she held the glass in her hands, letting her fingers dance across it.

  “I’m back on the team now.”

  Her whole demeanor changed. Straight back, full smile. Had there ever been someone happier for another person?

  “Which means I’ll be on the road a lot.”

  Her head dipped a little. Trained on my knee.

  “It would make me feel a lot better if you moved into my place. Your place is great. I love it. It’s got everything you need and I know it’s your home, but my house also has everything you need. Plus, it’s closer to the hospital and your job. There’s a full security system and I can have cameras installed. When I’m away, it’ll drive me crazy if I think of you needing to walk five blocks to find parking.”

  “What would that mean for us?”

  “Whatever you want it to mean. If you want to stay in a guest room, that’s fine. We can get the nursery together and get things ready for the baby. But I want to be there with you as much as possible. I don’t want to miss a thing.”

  “And I don’t want you to miss a thing. I don’t want to take anything from you.”

  “I never thought you did, but I want you to know I’m a dependable guy. I can be the one you lean on and can count on to get anything you need. I’ve got sixty games to play over the next six months, but I’ll jump on a train, rent a car, charter a plane—whatever I have to do to get back whenever you need me. That is, if everything goes the way I hope at my team trial. If not, you’ll have me around a lot more.” Did I even want to win the scrimmage? If I said screw it and ducked out now…she’d never let it go and neither would the guys.

  “We’ll be fine. You don’t have to worry about us.”

  Her stomach was so much bigger now. “The baby’s the size of an eggplant.”

  “And she or he’s happy to hear your voice.”

  My body jerked forward.

  She lifted my hand and rested it on her stomach. “They’re going wild hearing you after only a few days apart.”

  It brought tears to my eyes. Would this be the reception every time I came home from the road? The baby jumping around like mad to hear my voice?

  “That’s amazing.”

  “I like to think so. When do you have the big game?”

  “Tomorrow.” The pressure against my hand moved up and down against her belly.

  She shot up. “Tomorrow! What are you doing here? You need to sleep. You need to clear your mind of everything except getting back on the team.”

  “I couldn’t think about anything but what I did.” I ran my hand along the side of her neck.

  Her lips parted. “You need to sleep.” One look over her shoulder. “Do you want to sleep here?”

  I tugged her closer.

  “Only sleeping. You need your rest, but trying to get you out of here and back to your house would be a trial, I can already sense it.” She toyed with the buttons of my shirt.

  “I’d love to sleep here with you.”

  “Only sleep.”

  I held up my two fingers in front of my chest. “Scout’s honor.”

  “I don’t have anything for you to sleep in.”

  Somehow that made me feel better. That she didn’t have a drawer filled with Preston’s clothes like he was still there.

  “I have a bag in the car and all my gear.”

  “Were you angling for a sleepover?”

  “No, I’m just always prepared.”

  “Were you even a Boy Scout?”

  I laughed. “No, but I know the motto.”

  She turned me toward the door and gave me a push. “The keys are in my purse. I’m going to change the sheets.”

  Unclipping the keys from her purse, I walked down the hall to the elevator. It wasn’t until I was on the way back that I realized she’d never given me an answer about moving in.

  By the time I got back upstairs, she was asleep in bed. Her soft snores and the blankets peeled back on my side of the bed in invitation hit me harder than I thought it would.

  Kicking off my shoes, I unbuckled my pants, keeping my gaze on her the whole time. This could be my life. This could be our life, if she let it.

  Calls to the jewelers would have to happen in the morning. Whether I made it back on the team or not tomorrow we’d have something to celebrate. I’d show her I was serious about being there for her and never letting her down. And she’d make me the happiest man in the world. All she had to do was say yes.

  36

  Imo

  The stands weren’t filled, but there were more people there than I expected. It seemed word had gotten around about the friendly match for Colm’s spot on the team. It would be a sudden death one period game. If someone scored that was it. If there was no score at the end of the one period, then the coaches would make the call based off game play.

  It was a closed session. Only those affiliated with the team.

  When I walked in, Bailey had her gaze riveted on the ice.

  “If that fuckface screws this up for me I’m going to murder him.”

  “Are you talking about Colm?”

  Her forehead banged off the glass and she turned around, looking at me with wide eyes.

  “No.” She gritted her teeth, her gaze shooting over my shoulder at the moving building walking past me and onto the ice.

  “Is that the guy?” I talked out of the side of my mouth as the huge guy shoved the helmet down over his head.

  “Yes.” Bailey’s jaw
popped. “Viktor.”

  Like he’d heard his name on the wind, he turned to where Bailey and I stood and smirked at her, waving like they were old friends.

  She let out a noise that made me afraid she’d climb over the glass and punch him in the mouth.

  Where Colm was refined and pristine, this guy looked like he’d rolled out from under a car and hadn’t cleaned the grease from his hands. Meanness radiated off him and sent a shot of fear down my spine. The rest of his chosen team took the ice behind him.

  I’d tried to talk to Bailey again, but she kept yanking on her ponytail and half growled at me that she wouldn’t be any good to talk to until after the period.

  Emmett, Heath, Declan, and Colm skated out together. Ford was already in goal. They’d found a sixth, Beckett, a rookie and he was suited up out there, skating along with them like they’d been doing it for years.

  “Are these seats taken?” Avery smiled at me with her coat buttoned tight around her waist.

  “Is there something you forgot to tell me?” I poked at her stomach.

  She smiled and poked at my bump. “Seems I’m not the only one.”

  “Things have been a little busy over the past couple months.”

  “You don’t say.” She dropped into the seat beside me. “Congratulations, Imo. I’m so happy for you both.” Her arms wrapped around me and she squeezed me as tight as she could with the armrest between us.

  “I didn’t know you were coming.”

  “Like we’d miss it.”

  “We?”

  She rested her elbow on the armrest and pointed over my shoulder with a huge grin on her face.

  At the end of the row, Mak, Kara, and Liv stood with gift bags covered in pink and blue balloons. Apparently everyone knew.

  They squealed, shhed and served up enough tight hugs to make me regret the large bottle of water I’d downed before we got there.

  Each of the guys skated by and raised their sticks at us.

  Before anyone could say anything more, the buzzer blasted and the puck was dropped. Even with everything happening on the ice, I could still feel the four of them looking at me. Liv leaned over Mak and sent out her own sign language version of ‘oh my god I’m so excited I’m going to be an aunt. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me. I can’t wait to buy everything for the baby.’

  She had very expressive hands.

  My leg bounced up and down with my hands on my stomach, sending Colm good vibes from the two of us. The play wasn’t laid back or chill at all for a ‘friendly’. Two careers hung in the balance and everyone played like it was their own spot on the team hanging in the balance.

  The refs were also lax with the calls. I slammed my eyes shut with each slam against the boards. Not just Colm, but all the Kings. The last thing we wanted was for any one of them to end up with an injury.

  Every slap of the puck by the opposing team sent my heart leaping for my throat. Possession changed too quickly, and it was hard to see who had the puck. Each play turned into a blur of bodies, everyone throwing their weight into the player beside him to change the tide of the game.

  Each minute of the period ticked down. Both sides took a minute or so to feel one another out and gauge how hard the period was going to be.

  By the way the Kings banded together, slamming guys against the board, no one was taking this lightly.

  The one Bailey called Viktor gunned for Colm. After one slam that bordered on a tackle, Colm shoved him away and wiped at his nose. The bright red was visible even from here.

  Down ringside, Bailey slammed her hand against the glass, yelling and stabbing her finger in Viktor’s direction. He lifted his stick in her direction and blew her a kiss.

  That’s when she boosted herself, clambering for the top of the glass. Someone grabbed her from behind and hauled her off into the tunnel.

  A whistle blew and a time out was called. Ford came out of the goal and clanked helmets with Colm. They all huddled up with their arms around one another, heads bowed deep in concentration.

  Liv touched my arm. “You know he’d been through a lot, right?”

  I dragged my gaze away from the ice. “We all have.”

  “Yes, but he’s my only brother.”

  “And you’re his only sister.”

  “He deserves to be happy.” A sadness beyond her years clouded her eyes.

  “I know.” My chest tightened. I didn’t want to be another wave of bad news to the Frost family.

  A whistle blast sliced through the frigid air and everyone was back into position. The Kings were in possession of the puck.

  Colm passed the puck back to Declan like he didn’t want his chance. Declan pushed ahead with Heath and Colm covering him and took the shot. Everyone held their breath. My fingers tightened around the armrest. The small black disk slid across the ice, hitting the tip of the goalie’s skate. He blocked it—barely.

  Emmett had the puck and took it to half ice, passing it to Colm. Without pausing for more than a fraction of a second, he whipped back his arms and followed through. The puck moved so fast, skittering across the ice, I could barely make it out.

  I held my breath and grabbed onto Mak and Avery’s arms. Their suppressed yelps were the only thing I could hear except the pounding in my ears.

  The back of the net shook and the light on top flashed on, spinning around signaling a goal.

  I was on my feet, screaming until I was hoarse, jumping up and down with Avery, Mak, Kara around me. Liv out-yelled us all, though, even jumping up on the arms of her seat, throwing her fists in the air.

  For a second, she seemed poised to launch herself down the few rows to rink side and skate across the ice in her heels.

  He’d done it. The relief was absolute. Complete and total, so keen it brought tears to my eyes. The tension that had wound so tightly in me since my first conversation with Bailey evaporated, and my whole body felt light. I floated down the stairs to the half door the guys would exit the ice from.

  The last of the tension melted away and a giddy happiness overtook me. I bounced on the balls of my feet, eager to see him. Hold his face in my hands and kiss him, not caring that anyone else saw.

  A sliver of me was sad he’d be on the road so much; I’d heard the stories from Mak, Avery, and Kara, but I would be okay. But the rest of me cheered that he’d done the thing so many others hadn’t been able to do. He’d overcome his injury and everything inside his head that kept him from his destiny on the ice.

  Maybe staying at his house wouldn’t be so bad. Slowly, we could move forward, ease everyone into whatever we decided we’d become. Everyone already knew there was a baby on the way, and it wasn’t like they didn’t understand how that had happened. No birds and the bees session required, but how would they feel about me with Colm, really? What thoughts would be swirling in their heads? Would they have to deal with what that meant for their memories of Preston?

  Colm tore at his chin strap and ripped his helmet off, chucking it onto the ice and skated toward me. The remnants of blood stained the skin around his nose.

  A chill raced down my spine like I’d been doused with ice water. Bile rushed for my throat. The accident. Looking over at Preston with scratches and cuts all over. Blood dripping into my eyes, the seatbelt digging into my shoulder. Pushing my hands off the roof of the car that was now under me.

  My chest tightened and it was hard to breathe.

  Stepping off the ice, Colm was swallowed by a pile up of the Kings and other players from his team that was all congratulations and flailing limbs.

  The part of me that hadn’t been pulled into the tunnel vision of my nightmare cringed at the rough jostling, but this was what I’d prepared him for. My breaths came out choppy and strained as he emerged from the pile of players. There were so many people now. Everyone in the whole rink had converged on this one spot.

  Colm looked at me, his whole body relaxing like he’d exhaled a long breath. He turned to Emmett who hesitated before handing him
something. Colm clasped it in both hands and walked toward me, that hockey player gait balancing on the blade of his skates.

  His uniform was soaked through, sweat dripped off his hair. “I’m glad everyone is here.” I looked around at small group assembled around us and jerked when I saw that Fern and Charlie were amongst all the smiling faces with hints of confusion in their eyes. What were they doing here?

  I turned back to Colm and braced my hand on Mak’s arm as Colm dropped to one knee in front of me.

  My breath left my lungs like I’d been kicked in the chest. A wheeze escaped my lips.

  “Imogen Marie Walsh, this time I wanted to do it right. Your happiness is my happiness. I’ve never met someone who is more loving and caring and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you do me the honor of being my wife?” He opened the ring box, but all I could see was the dented and scraped metal of the ring the police officer had found and handed to me the night of Colm’s first offhand proposal.

  Radio static filled my ears and brain, switching back and forth between this moment and the night that Preston had knelt in front of me the same way. I couldn’t catch my breath. Blood still ringed Colm’s nostril. Fern and Charlie were still here. I backed away one step. Tears welled in my eyes.

  Another step back and Colm’s smile dropped. I backed right up into someone and didn’t stop my push for escape.

  Colm’s hands wavered as he stood. He said my name, his voice uncertain and full of so much sadness. Some part of me knew I was another person not choosing him, but I couldn’t breathe. I was in the hospital room all over again. I was in the car crash. Preston had proposed to me and died, what if the same thing happened to Colm? What if I was cursed or bad luck or something? All these moments were compressed so tightly in my chest I expected a rib to break.

  I punched a hole through the crowd with my insistent retreat through the familiar faces gawking at my display, but I couldn’t stop myself. My entire body shook, trembling as this past and future I’d been trying to outrun collided spectacularly.

  Colm stared after me with a sheen to his eyes and defeat in his posture. Emmett laid a hand on his shoulder. I was causing this pain. That was my last view of him before I took off. Someone called my name. More voices joined the chorus of “Imogen,” but I was gone. Bolting for the exit, I slammed into a sweaty wall.