by Clare Lydon
Heidi moved her lips so they were almost on Eden’s. “You need to relax. Unwind.” Eden’s breathing hitched as Heidi’s hand connected with the base of her spine, her other tugging her into the bedroom.
“Relaxing isn’t my strong suit.” She was good at planning and control. A girlfriend with a child and a cat allergy hadn’t been in her plans.
“I never would have guessed.” Heidi’s hand was inside Eden’s top, the warmth of her palm on Eden’s bare skin. Eden ached liked she’d never ached before. It hadn’t just been Heidi who hadn’t slept with anyone for a while. Eden could match her, stride for stride.
Heidi’s hands were sliding up her back, making Eden’s brain tilt. She wanted those hands elsewhere. When they slid round to her breasts, Eden stilled. This was almost too much already, and she was still fully dressed. They weren’t even kissing. If she flashed forward too hard, she might short-circuit.
“I have another problem.” Heidi’s voice was low and barely audible. “You’re wearing too much.” Her fingers set to work adjusting that, snapping open Eden’s trousers, unbuttoning her shirt. Heidi made short work of Eden’s clothes, before easing back her bra, taking in her full breasts with hungry eyes. Then suddenly, the temperature changed and time sped up.
Their mouths clashed together, sensation shooting through Eden. There was no more slow, steady. No more careful. Instead, Eden was ripping off Heidi’s clothes, one part of her brain telling her to slow down, take her time; the other part wanting to take everything Heidi had to give.
Eden moved Heidi’s pants down her legs, then stopped to admire her. She was lithe and toned, her light brown skin covering her deliciously. Heidi’s gaze was fixed on Eden’s mouth, dropping to her breasts and then back up. Eden knew what Heidi was thinking, because she was thinking it, too. But she wanted to take a moment to drink her in, because it had taken so long to get here.
“You’re stunning with clothes on, even better without.” Eden swept a hand over Heidi’s bum cheek, moving into her space and kissing along her shoulder. Cool air prickled up her skin, and as she stepped forward another pace, their bodies touched. Both of them let out a groan.
Flesh against flesh ignited Eden’s desire once more. The flames of it licked at her, and when Heidi pulled her close, it only drove it higher. She held Eden locked in place, a thigh jammed between her legs, kissing intensely, slowly. She took her time, driving Eden crazy till she thought she might explode.
When they eventually tumbled onto the bed, they fought for control. Somehow, Eden knew she wasn’t going to win this one. When she gave up and Heidi rolled on top of her, she gazed into her dark eyes, emotion bubbling inside.
Heidi put a finger to Eden’s lips, her smile crooked on her face. “Well done on letting me take control. I know it’s not your natural thing. You’ll get your turn.” Her eyes sparkled as she dropped her lips to Eden’s earlobe. “But for now, let me drive. You just have to enjoy the ride.” Her words sent a torrent of fresh lust tumbling through Eden.
When Heidi’s mouth closed over her nipple, building arousal with every skilled flick of her tongue, Eden gave in and let her. It wasn’t a hardship. She wasn’t sure how she’d come to meet this incredible woman, but she was going to do everything she could to keep her. This was the sort of Saturday night that had been missing in her calendar for quite a long time.
Heidi raised her head, then an eyebrow and jumped off Eden.
“Where you going?” That wasn’t what she’d been expecting. But Heidi was back in seconds, unscrewing the jar of Chocolate Delight. Then she proceeded to dip a finger into it, and smear it onto both of Eden’s nipples. “I just thought I’d give this a try.”
Eden’s brain short-circuited.
Heidi flicked her tongue and began licking with slow, skilled moves.
Below her, Eden thought she might die from pleasure, but she was determined to hang in there. Electricity crackled and sparked within her as Heidi finished her breasts, then spread some more on her stomach, an inviting line down to her navel. Eden’s breathing sped up as Heidi’s mouth crushed hers once again. She tasted chocolate and desire. It was a heady combination.
The next step was to let Heidi lick chocolate from her stomach, driving her crazy as she moved lower, her breast between Eden’s legs, her nipple nudging her clit. Eden’s head swam.
Heidi didn’t stop for any more chocolate. Instead, she carried on going south, easing a hand under Eden’s thigh, spreading her legs gently. With Heidi’s hot breath over her pussy, Eden closed her eyes, allowing her head to sink into Heidi’s pillow. Heidi’s tongue slid inside Eden, tracing sensitive flesh with knowing skill.
Eden moaned and writhed, but Heidi held her in place, her tongue doing its work. When she arrived at her clit, Eden bucked, and Heidi pulled back, adjusting her position. She took the opportunity to slide in a single finger, and Eden thought she might pass out. When Heidi sucked Eden back into her mouth and added a second finger, all thoughts receded from Eden’s mind; there was only here and now.
Need simmered inside her as she allowed herself to be completely pulled under Heidi’s spell. She raised her hips as Heidi’s tongue worked with devastating accuracy, her fingers thrusting in and out of her wetness. Her orgasm began to thrum within her. She knew she was close.
Her body tightened around Heidi, and for a moment, it felt too intimate, too much. But when she looked down to Heidi’s head between her legs, she was gazing up at her, too. When their gazes locked, Heidi stopped. Then she gave her a delicious wink, followed by a slow, firm stroke of her tongue.
Eden’s fingers were tangled in Heidi’s curls as her body tensed. With every thrust and flick, she climbed higher, until everything inside her tightened and she was balanced on that dangerous edge, held in place by Heidi’s skill and her need to be in control. It was futile, though. As Heidi changed gears, Eden fell, tumbling over the edge, a thick sound emerging from her throat. In seconds, Heidi was on top of her, fingers still buried inside her, kissing her lips.
Eden groaned into her mouth as she came again to Heidi’s thrusts, kaleidoscopic patterns dancing on her eyelids. All the while, Heidi kissed her. Eden didn’t just feel her climax, she breathed it, tasted it.
Some moments later, they were still.
Eventually, Eden’s surroundings seeped back into her consciousness. She wasn’t at home where she’d intended to be; she was at Heidi’s flat, in her bed. But it was quiet. Far quieter than her flat. There was minimal traffic noise, no flatmate. Just the sound of her heartbeat in her ears, the sound of her body applauding.
Heidi kissed her again, rolling sideways, eyeing her with a languid stare. “That was…” she said. “You were…” She didn’t finish.
“Chocolatey?” Eden grinned as she rolled towards her, kissing her lips, leaving her face inches from hers.
Heidi’s face was perfect, her skin smooth and soft. When their eyes locked, Eden knew this was one of those moments. She snapped it in her mind. A perfect moment of post-coital bliss. They were in the zone.
But these moments were fleeting. They didn’t last. Because relationships didn’t last, did they? But this moment could. If she allowed herself, she might even enjoy it. Weren’t relationships just a series of these moments, all strung together? She concentrated on staying there, not casting her mind forward to the future.
Heidi narrowed her gaze. “What’s going on in your brain? Because I’d like to think what just happened would leave you with only smiles. Yet every emotion under the sun just seemed to pass over your face.”
Eden bit her lip, shaking her head. She thought she’d been more subtle. “It was amazing, really.” She kissed Heidi’s lips and the fuzzy edges returned. The cocoon-like state. Her landing was cushioned. When they drew back, Heidi’s gaze was still questioning.
“Are you sure?” She put a hand to Eden’s face, and the gesture was so tender, she gulped down tears. She wasn’t used to such intimacy anymore.
Eden nodded. �
��Positive.” She tried to roll away, but Heidi rolled with her, kissing her cheek, turning her face towards her.
“You know, whatever it is you’re worried about, you can talk to me.”
Eden tucked her chin into her neck, suddenly exposed. Yes, they’d just had sex, but talking was far more personal than that.
Talking uncovered topics it was far harder to run away from.
Chapter 29
The following morning, Eden woke with a start. She wasn’t sure where she was until she turned her head and remembered.
Heidi.
Then she recalled her near post-sex meltdown and closed her eyes. The sex had been incredible and had lasted half the night. Plus, she hadn’t melted down. Perhaps that was why she’d been avoiding such intimacy for so long.
She checked her phone. She’d only had four hours’ sleep, but it had been worth it. She slid out of bed, careful not to wake a still-sleeping Heidi. Then she tiptoed to the toilet, stopping to throw on a T-shirt as she did. It smelt of Heidi. She pulled the material close. She passed Maya’s room on the way, peering in to see pictures of Elsa on the wall, along with a row of teddy bears lined up along a tiny bed.
This was Heidi’s life. She had a daughter. She had two smiling, happy parents. Eden gulped. She’d had none of that. It had often just been her, home alone. Could she cope with an instant family?
On the loo, Eden scrolled through Facebook. Johan had uploaded a photo from the Chocolate Delight competition that showed an image of the two of them, the winner and India Contelli with a broad smile on her face. A contented glow lit her up. That competition had gone better than Eden could ever have imagined, and it had a whole lot of likes attached to the photo, too. She clicked on the likes. Her thumb froze.
It had been liked by Debbie Price. Her mother.
Eden stared at her phone like it was a bomb. She ground her teeth together. Her mum hadn’t liked anything in at least a year. Why had she chosen this morning, of all mornings, to infiltrate her life? It was like she had a sixth sense.
Lib had told her to block her mum on Facebook. Even her gran had told her to. But Eden couldn’t quite bring herself to do it. Every now and again, she liked something or commented. Every time it happened, Eden stalled.
She swallowed down hard, closing the Facebook app on her phone and giving herself a stern look in the mirror as she washed her hands. Heidi’s handwash smelt like Love Hearts, which made her smile inside, if not externally.
Eden had read enough to know her mum didn’t have to impact her day. She could carry on, go back to bed and deal with it later. She couldn’t change her mother. She’d tried over the years. However, she could change her reaction to her. Her gran had always told her that. Her friends had told her, too. Now would be a good time. She took a deep breath, gave herself a firm nod of the head and walked back through to the bedroom, where Heidi was now awake.
“I thought you’d run off.” Heidi gave her a lazy smile as she climbed back into bed. As soon as Eden was under the covers, Heidi’s hands were underneath her top, stroking her back before landing on her breasts. She followed it up by pressing her warm, wet lips onto Eden’s, and kissing her with slow, gentle precision.
Eden was immediately brought back to the here and now, her mind dizzy with pleasure. She was disorientated. Heidi dazzled her. Plus, she’d never known anyone who could switch off the power of her mother with a single kiss.
However, once Heidi’s lips left hers, her mother began to inch back to the forefront of her mind.
“You look good in my T-shirt.” Heidi gave her a sleepy grin, before yawning, stretching her arms above her head. “You find the loo okay?”
Eden nodded, doubt swirling in her mind like a looming cloud. “I got A grades in geography in school. I think that came in handy.”
Heidi grinned. “Good.” She scooted closer.
Eden tensed.
Heidi’s face fell. “Are you okay this morning? You seem… preoccupied. Like you’re in my bed, but not actually here.”
Eden bit her lip and nodded. “I’m fine.”
Heidi raised an eyebrow. “Fine. You do know that’s not a decent enough response, don’t you? Fine never means fine.” She raised herself up on a single elbow and assessed Eden. “You look the opposite of fine. And you should look mighty fine. I take it as a personal slight, you know. You’re in my bed. We had great sex all night long. The chocolate spread jar is depleted.”
That drew a smile from Eden, and she let out a shallow laugh, before rolling onto her back and staring at the ceiling. Then she covered her face with her hands, before rolling back to Heidi. “That was all mighty fine. It’s just… something came up this morning.” She paused, blowing out a long breath. “My mother’s come up this morning.”
Heidi frowned. “Your mother? I thought she was out of the picture?”
Eden nodded. “She was. She is. But sometimes she creeps back in just to mess with me.” She rolled onto her back, her muscles a tangled, tense mess. “I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, but it does.” She peered out through her fingers. She couldn’t believe this was happening.
Heidi leaned over, took Eden’s hands from her face and kissed her lips, before pulling back. “Talk to me. I don’t scare easily.”
Eden sighed. She’d started, so she should finish. “My mum just liked a post on Facebook. Which on the face of it doesn’t seem like much, but I haven’t seen her in over five years.” Eden sighed. “I thought by the time I was 40 I’d be over this, past it. But it seems like I’m not.”
“The trampoline park yesterday might have opened something up, too.”
Eden gulped, forcing down the surge of emotion that swelled in her throat. “Maybe you’re right.”
“Tell me a little more about your mum and what happened.” Heidi reached down and took Eden’s hand in hers.
Eden looked at it for a while, then at Heidi, then began to speak.
“My mum was young when she had me: 18. So she’s only 58 now. Which makes me sad, as there’s still time. But it’s pointless getting my hopes up, because she always lets me down. She didn’t have a father, either; my grandad was killed in the war. But that doesn’t explain who she became because my gran was the best. However, she was never enough for my mum.
“Debbie Price was never there for anyone. Not for my gran, not for me. She ran off when she got pregnant, came back when she was a month from having me. She never said who my father was, so I never knew.”
Heidi squeezed her hand as she continued.
“My gran was fantastic, but there’s always been an ache inside. An ache for something more solid and reliable. A mother, a strong relationship, I’m not sure. But I’m also scared of it. I hold people at arm’s length, I don’t give relationships a chance. Because why should I? My mum ran off and came back intermittently, and my gran did her best, but she was old. She went back to work when I came to live with her so she could support me. She died when I was 33.”
Heidi brought Eden’s hand to her lips and kissed it. “I’m sorry about your gran.”
Eden exhaled a long breath. “Thanks. I was with someone when Gran died, but it didn’t work out.” She shook her head. “I’m not good at relationships, so I wouldn’t get your hopes up. I’ve had others try and fail.”
Heidi stared at her with her steady gaze. “I’m not other people though, am I?”
Eden was getting that impression.
“When you freaked out at the Mexican restaurant, was that more to do with your lack of faith in relationships, or to do with me having Maya?” Heidi’s cool stare was trained on her now.
“A bit of both. As you might be able to see, my upbringing wasn’t the best. Relationships fail. Plus, I don’t want to risk putting any of my issues onto a child. I’ve always thought it’s best if I steer clear.” She took a deep breath. “I don’t think I’ve ever admitted that to anyone out loud.”
Heidi leaned over and kissed her cheek, taking hold of her hand. “That’s
progress, then. For the record, you can be great with kids without having experienced it yourself. They show you how if you let them.”
She turned her intense stare back on Eden.
But this time, Eden held it with her own.
“The barriers you put up are in your own head, nowhere else. Just because your mother wasn’t there for you, doesn’t mean you’d make a bad mother. Your gran sounds like she was a fabulous role model.”
Eden nodded. “She was the best. But she didn’t think she was. She blamed herself for her daughter’s behaviour.”
“I get that. But sometimes, someone’s a force bigger than anyone or anything.”
“That’s Debbie Price.” Eden’s voice was a whisper. Like if she said it any louder, her mother might appear in the room, as if by magic.
“If she’s commenting on Facebook, where is she?”
“No idea. She was living in Yorkshire, then in Scotland. She says London’s too expensive to live in.”
“She’s not wrong there,” Heidi said. “Do you have any urge to get in contact with her?”
Eden shook her head. If there was one thing she was positive on when it came to her mother, it was that. “I’ve been down that road before, and nothing good comes from it.”
“So why do you keep her as a friend on Facebook?”
Eden exhaled. “I don’t know. I guess for my gran? I don’t want to cut the very last ties I have with her. Just in case something happens. If she dies, I guess I’ll have to go to her funeral.”
Heidi lay down beside her, never letting go of Eden’s hand. “Makes my issues with my family seem trivial.”
“What are your issues?”
Heidi shrugged. “My mum wasn’t thrilled when I got pregnant, but she loves it now Maya’s here. But I’ll always be the black sheep of the family when it comes to daughters, simply because I’m not married. Marriage and children go hand in hand, according to my mother.”
“They’re fine with the gay thing?”
“Pretty much. They were shocked at first, but it’s been over 20 years, so they’re used to that. The baby thing was the bigger shock, and now my mum thinks Maya needs two mummies, not just one.” She turned her head. “My mother’s words, not mine. If you ask Maya, she’s pretty content.”