by D. L. EVANS
Lucas: What?
Mack: Call you when they were in trouble?
Lucas: Sometimes… sometimes. Alison... needed guidance and I acted on her behalf.”
Mack: Such as?
Lucas: She was expelled from a couple of boarding schools. Just juvenile high spirits, I assure you. Nothing serious. High spirits. Nothing against the law. Just kids stuff, you know.”
Mack: No, I don’t. Tell me.
Lucas: It was nothing, not worth talking about. Not at all. Nothing.
Mack: Should I call these schools and find out... officially?
Lucas: No, no Lieutenant Mackenzie. I’m telling you, Alison is a very intelligent person and she was bored. You know kids...
Mack: And....
Lucas: Well, uh, uh, once she said that her gym teacher had touched her... inappropriately, which led to an investigation. The, um... teacher in question was eventually vindicated. . And once Alison started a little girls club. You know, for her friends. It had to do with a silly book on witchcraft and an initiation of another girl.
Mack: There’s more though.
Lucas: Well, there was, uh, an accident, just an accident you see, and the girl was slightly burned. I took care of the medical expenses, of course... plastic surgery.... But this was all a long time ago.
As for being involved in their personal lives now, well I’m helping Alison assemble material for a book. We’ve been working on it, off and on, for several years now, several years. She’ll be a famous writer when it’s published. Yes, famous!
Mack: What kind of book?
Lucas: Heraldry. It’s a hobby of Alison’s. She inherited quite a bit of paperwork about the family tree and we’ve been working through it. Alison has gathered information on the Internet and researched in France and Europe as well. Hopefully, she can work it into an interesting story; when it’s all assembled. I have no doubt that she will be a brilliant novelist when she’s ready. No doubt at all.
Mack: You’ve talked about Alison quite a bit, what about Annie?
Lucas: I’m not as involved with Annie. She’s a quiet woman... was a quiet child. Alison sort of looked out for her. Annie was happy wandering through the galleries of the major cities and studying the reference books. Not too much different from her life now. Not much, I’m sure. She has every worthwhile art book ever published. Obscure ones too. Her collection is worth a fortune. Seriously, a fortune. I never discouraged her when she started collecting books. I remember, even as a child she would be thrilled when some book or material arrived at the house that she had sent for. She would disappear for hours at a time, lost in time. Completely lost I assure you. So, I have had more in common with Alison, but I’m very fond of both of them. Does that answer your questions, Lieutenant?
Mack: Did Annie confide in you that she felt as if she was being watched?
Lucas: Yes, but I assured her that she is a rich and beautiful woman. There is a staff of eight people at the gallery and they watch her whenever she wanders out of her library. It’s only natural, only natural. You should see them scurry when Alison does her rounds. They get all their ‘wagons in a circle’ and pretend they’re busy. And of course, there’s the security...
Mack: Never mind, Mr. Lucas. We know all about the security. Thanks for your help.
Handwritten note to Adam: This guy is a definite killer type. Beady eyes, too close together behind expensive optics. Taps his feet when nervous. Picks at his clothes. Blinks. Nails manicured and I wouldn’t be surprised if he was a cross-dresser. He’s quick to compliment Alison but there’s more to the relationship or he’s totally intimidated by her. I’m keeping an eye on him.
I had to laugh at Mack’s comments, especially the bit about the optics. If he meant glasses why not say glasses. Jeeesus, what a guy. Seems that if I didn’t come back to Homicide, he was going to help me write, like it or not. I didn’t know if this Lucas character sounded much like a killer. It was hard to tell but I found the reluctant information that Mack dragged out of him about Alison’s past very interesting. More interesting than I could say. As I recall, she described Annie as a problem child and chronic liar and all the while she was talking about herself. Hmmmm. More to dear Alison than met the eye.
Chapter Forty
ADAM STONE:
Lauren arrived at my apartment for a late brunch. It seemed that big sister thought we had some catching-up to do, according to her, and this particular morning would be our last chance before the new bank tower opening coming up this weekend. She had a way of making things sound like a request when we both knew I had no choice in the matter. Well at least she was picking up breakfast/brunch at the bakery and spared me her cooking. I was feeling a little better, due to my now regular workouts with the weights but a decent night’s sleep still alluded me. I started the coffee and by the time I set the table I heard her let herself in with her key. The strain of the past week was visible on her face. She had taken some pains with her hair and make-up but I could see the dark circles she had expertly covered. Over coffee and Danish we chatted lightly about her recent shows and whom her producers had lined up for the next tapings. I let her unwind, knowing she was building up to telling me her problems. What else are little brothers for?
She finished the last pastry, and asked tentatively, “Did you know that Annie and I had lunch a few days ago?” I shook my head. She continued, “I guess you could say that we’ve become pretty good friends recently, much better than Alison and I ever were. I’m telling you this because Annie doesn’t watch what she says around me, you know, so we can let our hair down and relax with each other...”
“That’s good. She needs friends that she can trust. Why do I get the feeling that you’re telling me this for a reason?”
“Because I am", she agreed. "Annie met Roger, briefly, at the wake. They only spoke for a few minutes and shook hands. He must have been one of about two hundred strangers that she met that night.”
Her sparkling eyes clouded over and I felt sadness in her voice. I waited for her to continue. It took a few seconds. “She didn’t like him, Adam. She didn’t want to tell me exactly why but it was obvious that she really didn’t like him.”
“It isn’t important who Annie approves of, Lauren," I replied insincerely. "You’re the one that’s going to marry him. What did she say?” I felt like a bloody hypocrite. Annie had said what I’d wanted to say but hadn’t had the guts, at least, so far.
“You’re wrong about that Adam,” Lauren stated, eyes flashing. “It is important, what she thinks. It’s very important. What’s the matter with you? You know that.”
“OK. It’s important.” I agreed. “Tell me what she said. All of it.”
She made herself comfortable on the couch. “I noticed you didn’t ask why her opinion is so important but that brings up a delicate subject doesn’t it, and we must never discuss your feelings, must we?”
I didn’t like the direction this was going. “Hey, this is about what Annie said that upset you. What have my feelings got to do with it? Are you going to tell me what she said?”
“Oh, I’m going to tell you alright. You’re going to get the whole story, little brother. That’s why I’m here. But first I’ll tell you about Roger.” I was in for a hit, probably in some low place. Why was she so angry with me? I’ve been a saint about the creep.
“Let me quote her,” Lauren said taking a deep breath. “Annie said that Roger is a dangerous man without the high moral standard that I would require in a marriage. The danger was from him and around him though not directed at me.” Her eyes were flat and her voice was flat without emotion. This quotation was painful for her. “Annie said that Roger is very protective about me,” she continued “and does care... as much as he is capable of that is - implying that he’s not very capable.”
I didn’t quite know what to say. I struggled to keep my voice light. She was close to tears. “Sounds like something in a fortune cookie. Care about you? Not madly in love?” Dear Annie, I though
t, bless your little perceptive heart. If anything would kill the romance it would be that if Lauren thought the affair was one sided... hers.
I took a sip of my coffee. “Well, OK.” I started hesitantly, “I’m not sure what I should say here... Annie’s opinion matters. Does it override your own? Have you talked to Mom?”
She sighed and got up to clear the table. I think she needed a few seconds to put her doubts into words. At least, that’s what I hoped. “I’ve been thinking about it.” She stopped fussing and looked at me directly. “Of course I’ve talked things over with Mom. Are you nuts? I couldn’t think of leaving her out of the loop. And you better keep her informed too or risk a hostile take-over right here in your lovely spacious apartment. I think Annie just put my own suspicions into words. Things... are not going well between Roger and me and it’s more than outside problems. I’m going to break the engagement. I can’t marry him. And don’t tell me you’re not pleased.” I didn’t dare risk a comment. “Besides, you always said that you could judge a man by the way he drives, didn’t you?”
“I take it that Roger is not a good driver?” I asked.
“He uses a chauffeur because he’s lost his license twice for speeding. His one year old Maseratti is in the shop with a blown engine.”
“Ohhhhh.” I was in pain. I grabbed my heart. “A blown engine! How could he???” He should be sent to prison just for that, I thought. However, experience has taught me to keep my opinion to myself. I struggled for something on the positive side to say. I pulled myself together. “I just think you deserve the best and he isn’t it. And I’m not sorry for that, only that it makes you sad.” She hugged me quickly and walked into the kitchen. I had the feeling that she didn’t want me to see her face but she wasn’t finished. “What else did Annie say?” I asked.
“Shit. You don’t miss anything do you?” she said as she washed her hands and grabbed a towel.
“Spit it out, Lauren.” My stomach tightened. The real hit was coming and I was not going to like it.
She poured us a second coffee and sat down. “Well your name has come up a few times in various conversations. Private talks Adam, just between Annie and me.” I stared at her blankly not trusting my voice to stay calm if I spoke. She looked at me levelly over her coffee. Annie said that we, you and I, should be able to talk about the day that Savannah died.”
“Jesus.” I was furious. “That was quite a lunch wasn’t it? Or was it a series of lunches? How-to-save-the-world lunches, were they? Shit Lauren. You were there, at the Goddamn hospital, at the end. You know what happened so pardon me if I don’t want to go through it one more time. She should mind her own business.” The room was getting hot. I needed some air.
“Oh, I see,” Lauren flashed angrily. “Annie can say anything to me, even if it hurts and I’m supposed to deal with it, but you, you’re another story. You can avoid any subject that you want?” I didn’t respond. She lowered her voice, “No bloody way Adam. What happened that day?”
“No big deal.” I answered evenly. I was not going to get angry. “Savannah went out running and died in the park. I wasn’t there. I got to the hospital too late, too fucking late. We didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye... Is that what you wanted to hear? Should I repeat what the doctors said? Do you want to see the death certificate?”
“Stop it Adam. She loved you more than anything in the world, you know that.”
The familiar pain of her death took over. Nothing could stop it. I couldn’t get enough oxygen into my lungs. My head felt separate from my body.
Lauren sat in front of me and said. “Adam, you do know that it would have happened eventually no matter what you did, or didn’t do. You didn’t cause the accident. You don’t think you did, do you? The doctors said...”
“I know what the god dam doctors said.” I shouted. Lauren was unaffected. “I’ve heard it a thousand times in my nightmares, Lauren. I don’t want this conversation. I’m OK with my grief.”
“You’re not OK.” she answered. “Do you hear me? You are NOT OK.“ She lowered her voice. “You’re better, but you’re definitely not OK. I was with Savannah two days before the accident. She hinted that you two had been arguing more than usual. What was it about?”
“Damn it, Lauren, mind your own business.”
“You are my business. What did you argue about?” I glared at her in reply, angrier than I’ve been in a long time. She stood and leaned forward towards me, hands on the table: the aggressive lioness stance. She could look down into my eyes only because I was sitting. “Tell me or I’ll throw the whole fucking kitchen at you! Stop avoiding the question. What were you arguing about?”
“Kids,” I said calmly and sipped my cold coffee. My hands were shaking. ”We were... trying to start a family, or so I thought, but I found birth control pills in her drawer in the bathroom. I was looking for something else... and I found them.” I closed my eyes and saw Savannah hurt and angry. “She’d lied to me. I faced her with it. She... got angry, said she was afraid to get pregnant, afraid of pain. Her own mother had several miscarriages and had suffered.” I put the coffee down and rubbed my temples. The familiar headache was coming up from the back of my neck. Lauren didn’t move. She waited with that special stillness of hers that makes it impossible not to keep talking. The words came rushing out. “Instead of trying to understand, trying to deal with the reason for her fears, I just blew up.” I noticed that Lauren was holding my hand across the table. I continued, “Made it impossible for her to talk to me. So she ran... ran to get away from my anger, ran from the pressure I was putting on her. If I had approached it differently, not called her a liar... not called her... a liar. Dear God I miss her. I’d give the rest of my life to have that day back.” I walked over to the window and stared out over the city. Lauren was crying softly.
“Oh Adam. You’ve been carrying that guilt around with you for over two years. If Savannah was here right now, what would she say?”
“I don’t know. I was such an ass.”
“She would forgive you, I’m positive, even though you are an ass. She was a wonderful, forgiving human being and she would not want you to suffer like this. She loved you too much. You’ve got to forgive yourself now and get on with your life. Wouldn’t you want the same for her if the situation were reversed? Think about it. Am I wrong? Isn’t love putting someone else’s feelings before your own? You’re not perfect Adam and neither was she. A terrible accident happened, it can’t be changed, but it’s time to let it go. She would want that, Adam.” By this time she was wiping her face with a napkin and joined me at the window. “It’s a beautiful day, don’t you think?”
“Yah, it’s great. How do you think Annie knew?”
“Maybe you’re not ready for this, Adam, but I think Annie is in love with you.
I felt my heart actually stop beating for a moment.
Lauren continued, “She saw this pain you have buried and knew it had to be dealt with. I don’t know how she does it. But I do know that it’s a gift that I wouldn’t want. It’s like seeing everyone naked somehow. Can you imagine how awful it must be to know things that people don’t want to hear and have to keep it to yourself? It must be like living life on a stage with everyone acting, except Annie knows who they really are, under the costumes and masks. No wonder she’s so lonely. It was hard for her to tell me these things, Adam. Can you imagine?”
I found myself strangely numb. Emotionally eviscerated. “I’ve been having nightmares about Savannah running but this last month, since we met the Stanford sisters, I’ve been seeing Annie in them too. She’s been inside my head since I first saw her.”
“But she knew you needed to face this unfair guilt you’ve kept buried before you could face your own feelings about her.”
I smiled down at her. “How’d you get so smart?” Lauren laughed. “Annie told me to get professional help once,” I continued, “but I didn’t, so she got you to go into my head with a shovel, I guess. Smart girl.”
> “I’ll say. And she knew that I’m pretty good with any kind of weapon.” We both laughed. “You’re in love with her too, aren’t you Adam?”
“Yes.” I confessed, relived to have it out in the open. “But things aren’t that simple. I think Mack thinks she’s in trouble or is maybe causing the trouble.”
“Are you sure? I got the impression that Mack believes her, or maybe believes in her.”
“You’ve been talking to Mackenzie? About Annie? Since when?”
“Does it matter?” She smiled for the first time that night. “Savannah said that you once told her that Mack is the best driver, next to you, that you’ve ever been in a car with? Is that true?”
“It’s true.” The thought made me smile. “I’d forgotten I’d told her that. Trust dear Savannah to remember. He drives that beat up Chevy so no one will spot him on a tail or a stakeout but it’s tuned like a formula one. He knows something is going on Lauren, and it involves Annie, maybe Alison too. I think he’s afraid. Do you have any idea what it would take to make Mack Mackenzie afraid?” She took my hand. “Well, I didn’t think it was possible but it is. So this whole situation with Annie isn’t simple.”