by K. C. Crowne
After the thirty-minute trek to the halfway point, we reached a small bluff with a gorgeous view of the creek and the city in the distance. One of the elderly women, Janice, who’d spent most of the trip fawning over the girls, insisted that Hayden, me, and the twins get together for a shot.
“You have to have a picture of the happy family,” she said.
She was only having fun, but the comment coming so soon after what had happened between Hayden and I, made my stomach clench. But I put on a happy face and smiled for the photo all the same.
Hayden just had to make things worse by wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. His nearness and his touch reminded me of what had happened last night, and how much of me secretly craved it again and again.
But despite the fun of the walk, I could sense that there was a tension between us that hadn’t been there before. As we made the loop back to the beginning, I found myself wondering if we’d ruined things forever last night.
We had made an agreement that morning, sure, but who the hell could say how things would be between us in the future?
What if I’d lost something else last night other than my virginity?
Chapter 20
HAYDEN
“We’re cool, right?”
The words had echoed in my mind over and over during the week since we’d slept together.
Things, most definitely, were not cool.
That Saturday, Grace had kept to herself the rest of the day. She played with the girls but barely said more than a few words to me – all of them do to with the girls or matters around the house that needed to be taken care of.
I’d known she needed time after what had happened. After all, the girl had lost her virginity. Of course, she’d need a little time to process it. But I’d figured she’d take a day, maybe even two. Then things could start going back to normal.
But “normal” never came back. I should’ve known something was up when, once the girls were in bed on Sunday night, Grace had ordered some food and taken it, along with a glass of wine, down to the mini theater in the basement and didn’t come up until she was on her way to bed.
“You doing alright?” I’d asked in the kitchen, Grace putting her wine glass in the dishwasher and tossing her empty containers into the trash.
“Huh?”
“This weekend. You’ve been a little…distant.”
“Just getting ready for the week ahead. It’s a busy one – tons of classes and all that. Then we’ve got Ryan and Carly coming back on Saturday and I want to make sure the place is looking good for them.
“And it’s not about anything else?”
“What else would it be?”
She’d tossed the words over her shoulder as if they were the only thing that needed to be said, like I was the weird one for thinking something seemed off.
And that was the weekend. Once Monday rolled around we were both back into our working rhythms, the days flying by. The routine each day was the same – we’d show up in the evening to relieve Nancy, who’d fill us in on how the day had gone. Then we’d get the girls fed and play with them for a bit before it was time to get them bathed and ready for bed. Grace and I would have our separate dinners, typically one of us having delivery and the other making something in the kitchen, and then we’d go to bed.
That was it.
When Friday – the day before Ryan and Carly were set to come back arrived, I was half-certain that things between Grace and I were done. Not only the sexual aspect, but the friendship as well.
What else could possibly happen between us other than going our separate ways after we were done looking after the girls? I hated the idea of it, hated that one night of stupid passion might have been enough to ruin a friendship that had lasted decades.
But that was life, wasn’t it? Not all relationships were meant to last forever. Over the years I’d had flings here and there that had fizzled out, run their course. Sometimes relationships had expiration dates, after all.
That’s how I tried to think about things with Grace over the course of our last few days together. Nothing seemed to work. There wasn’t a single way that I could think about her and I and the possibility of us never seeing one another again, that didn’t hurt my heart in a way it had never hurt before.
What the hell did it all mean?
Friday rolled around. Turned out that Grace and I had both taken the day off, both of us planning independently to spend one last full day with the kids before Ryan and Carly came back to town. It worked for Nancy, too – she said a day off sounded great.
Grace and I were in the backyard, which was a very humble way to refer to the massive stretch of land behind Ryan and Carly’s place. I was sitting under one of the towering Aspen trees, Grace was with the girls playing one game or another.
I had a book, but it was hard as hell to pay attention to that with what was going on in front of me.
Grace was seated on a blanket with the two girls, the Rockies rising in the distance behind them. The grass was an endless stretch of green, the trees casting the expanse of nature in faded shadow. Grace played with the girls, laughs from her blending in with giggles from the twins.
It was…perfect, a perfect scene. A scene so perfect in fact, that a longing for a wife and family of my own came over me for the first time in my life. A wife, some cute kids, a nice house. Hell, maybe even a cat while we’re at it.
I watched as the girls cried out for Grace, sticking their adorably chubby arms into the air and reaching for her. Grace smiled, scooping them up and loading the twins into their strollers.
Grace…she was a natural with the girls.
It was enough to get a man thinking about things he had never thought about before.
With the girls loaded in the stroller, Grace pushed them through the grass and off to some nearby shrubs. I watched, letting myself be carried away by the sight of her.
But something happened. They were far away, but close enough that I could see an expression of panic appear on Grace’s features.
Without thinking twice about it, I sprang up and rushed over.
“What is it?” I called out.
“Bees!” Grace shouted as she pushed the stroller away from where she’d been standing.
I closed the distance and, sure enough, the air was filled with swarming bees. Not like I could punch them out of the air, but I did the best I could shielding the girls with my body as Grace pushed the stroller as far away as she could.
Soon we were back in the house, and I didn’t waste any time giving them all a once-over.
“Just a few stings,” Grace said, a trio of red dots on her arm.
“Are you allergic?”
“Nope. Not at all.”
My heart began to beat faster as I dropped down to check the twins. They were mostly protected, thank God, and Lily didn’t have a single sting on her. Rose was another story, a pair of stings were under her eye, but surprisingly, she didn’t seem bothered.
“And the girls?” I asked. “Do you know if they’re allergic?”
“Shoot,” Grace said, shaking her head and doing her best to keep herself in check. “No, I don’t. I don’t even remember Ryan or Carly mentioning anything about allergies.
I dropped down again and checked Rose. The sting sites had reddened and puffed.
It wasn’t looking good.
“See that?” I asked, pointing to the red, blotchiness forming on Rose’s face. “Hard to say, but it’s not a good sign.”
Panic flashed in Grace’s eyes. “What are we going to do? We can’t give her antihistamine or something, can we?”
“No. If it’s an allergy, we need to get her to the nearest hospital. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not about to take any chances.”
Grace nodded silently, a slight shimmering of tears in her eyes.
We loaded up the girls in my car and were soon on our way.
And it was a damn good thing – during the drive Rose’s
breath became short, her eyes widening as she seemed to try to understand why she couldn’t take in as much air as she needed. There was no doubt she had an allergy.
I kept driving; my eyes focused on the road as I hoped for the best.
Chapter 21
GRACE
Everything passed in a strange blur. But a blur in which I had a focus that was strange in its perfect clarity. It was like there was nothing else in the world but Hayden and the girls. Nothing mattered but making sure Rose was safe and healthy.
Hayden carried Rose and I carried Lily as we rushed into the ER. Part of me wanted to take charge and speak to the staff to inform them of what was going on. It was my mistake, after all. I wanted to be the one to make things right.
But Hayden was the doctor. He knew the jargon and he understood hospitals, so I stepped back while he spoke to the receptionist, Rose in his arms, her face now a deep red as her chest rose and fell quickly with shallow breaths.
The receptionist nodded along as he spoke, concern on her face. She took one look at Rose and quickly called over a pair of doctors. Hayden and the doctors spoke with one another, one of them taking Rose as Hayden helped scoop her into his arms. Then Hayden held up a single finger in a “one moment, please” gesture before turning in my direction and making his way over, the doctors turning with Rose and hurrying down the hall and out of sight.
I hated being out of the loop – especially for a matter as serious as this. Each step that Hayden took over was like an eternity to me. I held Lily tight, the little girl sleeping with her head resting on my shoulder.
“What’s going on?” I asked, my hands clamped onto my sides to hide how badly I was shaking.
“They’re almost positive it’s an allergy. You know what an epi pen is?”
“It’s an emergency shot that helps with a reaction, right?”
“More or less – an epinephrine shot. It relaxes muscles, helps with breathing.”
“Is she going to be OK?” I was being brusque, a tinge of panic in my voice. But I didn’t care. All that was on my mind was Rose.
He nodded, glancing away as if realizing he’d caught himself slipping into doctor mode when he needed to be in friend mode.
“We did the right thing erring on the side of caution. It would have to go untreated for some time to really be a problem, but she would’ve needed an epi pen shot sooner or later. And we’re getting it to her sooner. Rose’s breathing is getting shallower, but she’s not panicking or anything like that. They’re going to get her the shot and she’ll likely be fine before it even registers that something’s wrong.”
The relief was like nothing I’d ever known before.
“But I’m going to go with the doctors and make sure everything is off without a hitch. Wait here, and I’ll be back ASAP with news. OK?”
I bit down on my lower lip, hating the idea of being left alone.
“Yeah,” I said. “OK.”
Without saying another word, Hayden pulled me into a tight hug before letting me go and hurrying off in the direction the doctors had gone.
Lily still slept on my shoulder, and I gently bounced her up and down as I waited for Hayden to come back or text me or anything.
I couldn’t believe what had happened. It’d been my responsibility to watch after the girls and I couldn’t even handle that simple task. I’d wandered off like an idiot, putting the girls in danger.
What if I hadn’t noticed that Rose had been stung? What if her allergy had been more severe, acting before we’d had a chance to get to the hospital? What if…
I closed my eyes and took several slow, deep breaths.
There’s absolutely zero point in thinking like that. Rose is going to be fine. You made a mistake, and then you and Hayden did exactly what needed to be done. Playing out disaster scenarios that never happened is a pointless form of torture.
I breathed in deeply one more time, then let it out. I felt better. Hayden and I had handled the situation, and Rose was in good hands. Once I felt calm enough, I sat down with Lily. She opened her sleepy eyes the moment I was seated and was soon up and active.
I passed the time playing with her, singing gently to calm both her and me down.
I found myself thinking about Hayden. The guy could be a bit of a smart-ass, always cracking wise and busting my chops, but when the situation had required seriousness, he hadn’t wasted a second getting his head in the game and doing what needed to be done. It was a reminder that he wasn’t simply the sharp-tongued goof-off I sometimes thought he was.
When Hayden appeared around the hall a relief washed over me that I’d never known before. The easy, confident smile on his face and his leisurely pace made me even more certain that there was nothing to be worried about. It was something I loved about him. He always carried himself with confidence, whether he was serious or joking around.
He raised his palm as he approached.
“She’s fine,” he said. “One hundred percent fine.”
The relief I’d felt before was nothing compared to how I felt in that moment.
“Hear that?” he asked Lily, squatting down, and giving her cheek a playful pinch. “Rose is all good.”
“What happened?” I asked. “Can I see her?”
“Sure. Let’s walk and talk.”
He scooped Lily out of my arms before I rose from the chair.
“So,” he said as we made our way down the hall, hospital staff zipping purposefully around us. “It was like I thought. She needed a little epi pen jab and that was it. Right now, she’s resting, and when she wakes up, she’ll be ready to go.”
I wanted to cry. And I did. A few tears formed in the corners of my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away. Hayden placed his free hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze, his touch melting away more tension.
We reached the door to Rose’s emergency room and Hayden opened it. Rose was on the bed, her eyes closed as she slept soundly, a nurse nearby looking over the electronic displays.
I couldn’t hold back. Tears still in my eyes, I rushed over to the bed and dropped to my knees, giving the precious little girl a squeeze as I did. She looked so peaceful, so perfect. The red on her face had gone away, two tiny dots remaining where the bees had stung her.
“Oh,” Hayden whispered. “Lily’s back out.”
I turned around to see that, sure enough, Lily was asleep once more in Hayden’s arms.
“All the excitement of the hospital must’ve been too much for her,” he said.
“Maybe she misses her sister,” I replied. “Want to put her down?”
“Sure.”
He stepped over and gently laid Lily down next to Rose who, still sleeping, rolled over and wrapped her arm around Rose. The two of them silently cuddled.
“That,” I said. “That’s about the cutest freaking thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”
“Pretty damn precious,” Hayden agreed.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close.
“Let me take a picture.” I slipped my phone out of my pocket and snapped a few shots. “These would be perfect to send to Ryan and Carly.”
Hayden chuckled as I zoomed in for the pictures.
“What?” I asked.
“They’d love them. And I can already imagine the next texts to come in after they say how cute they are – ‘wait, why are you guys in a hospital’?”
My gut tightened as I remembered that Ryan and Carly would have to find out sooner or later.
But I put that out of my head for the moment, choosing to focus on the here and now.
“You all are such a cute family,” the nurse said from behind us.
I opened my mouth to correct her but thought better of it. For that moment, we were a family. But the mere thought was enough to fill my heart with a longing for something I could never have – not with Hayden.
Chapter 22
HAYDEN
We stayed in the room with Rose and Lily until they finally roused fro
m their sleep. Once they were up, Grace scooped up Rose and I took Lily, the girls babbling and giggling as we left. I checked in with Dr. Wilkes, the doctor who’d overseen Rose since we’d arrived. She confirmed that Rose would be fine, but to make sure I let Ryan and Carly know that they needed to see an allergy specialist in the next week to make sure there had been no complications and to have an epi pen prescribed for them to keep at home.
Once the girls were loaded in the car and we were off, silence fell over us both. It was early evening, the sun beginning its slow decline. And despite what had happened, despite how close we’d been over the last hour as we’d worked through the crisis, I still had no idea how to talk to Grace. Things had been so strange since we’d slept together, and this only brought it up to another level.
“You want to order something tonight? Maybe some Mexican?” I asked. “My treat. I figure we both deserve a quiet night in after the day we had.”
Grace glanced over to me and nodded quickly, her eyes on me long enough to see that she was still stressed and worried about what had happened. I took a quick look at the girls in the back, who were both sleeping once again.
I placed my hand on her hand, which was resting on her leg. Sure, maybe that wasn’t the appropriate thing to do in our situation, but she needed comfort. Despite how well the situation had turned out, Grace was clearly still stressed.
She didn’t move my hand.
“It was all my fault.”
“No.” I spoke without hesitation. “This wasn’t your fault. It was a freak accident and there was nothing either of us could’ve done other than what we did do. The girls are fine, we’re going to be home with them soon, and there’s no point in thinking about any other outcome.”
She nodded, turning to me with tears in her eyes.
“I know. I know, and it all ended up OK. That’s what I keep telling myself, that there’s no point in playing even worse things over in my head. But I can’t help it. I mean, Rose could’ve di—”