‘Sounds wonderful. Make sure you give me a bit of notice. I’ll need to go into training before a night out with you two.’
Dee told him he was a cheeky bugger, promised again that she’d be in touch and hung up.
‘Fancy bumping into you like this,’ Alex said.
‘It’s hardly a coincidence. This is the closest supermarket to both of us.’
‘Fair point. Come on. I’m on an early lunch break. I’ll treat you to a coffee in Seasons. There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you about.’
Seasons was Dee’s favourite bar and cafe in the area. They sat at a table outside and ordered their drinks – coffee for Alex, Diet Coke for Dee.
‘I was thinking of popping in to see you later,’ Alex said. ‘If you’re up for a bit of company?’
‘Not tonight,’ Dee said. ‘I’ve already got plans actually.’ Not true, but she didn’t want to drink tonight, and an evening with Alex inevitably involved booze.
‘Sure.’ He shrugged. ‘You up to anything exciting?’
‘I’m working. And when I’m finished working, I’m going to have a long bath and an early night.’
‘You work?’ Alex said. ‘Since when?’
‘It’s an idea for a story. Something I’ve been thinking about, that’s all.’ She didn’t want to tell him how much time and effort she was putting into finding Katie. She didn’t want to hear him telling her it was a waste of time. Besides, it was none of his business what she got up to.
‘Maybe some other night then,’ he said.
‘You said you wanted to ask me something,’ Dee reminded him.
The waitress who’d taken their order arrived with their drinks. Alex waited until she’d left before speaking.
‘There’s something been bugging me,’ he said. ‘On the news, they’re saying it was Katie who ran over that poor girl. But it doesn’t make sense.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because Katie can’t drive.’
‘Yes she can,’ Dee said, remembering the photocopied driving licence in her mother’s files.
‘No.’ Alex shook his head. ‘She’s never learned. She told me one time I was over there. I’d just got my new car – the Audi, remember? I was showing it to Jake. Katie told me she’d grown up in London, where she never needed a car, and since then, she’d never got around to taking lessons. I asked her if it was difficult, you know, living where she did, but it didn’t seem to bother her. She said she did fine with public transport. Told me she might learn to drive one day but wasn’t in any rush.’
‘When was this?’ Dee asked.
‘Recently,’ Alex said. ‘Maybe a few weeks before she disappeared?’
‘That doesn’t make any sense. She has a driving licence, Alex. There’s a copy of it with her rental agreement.’
‘You’re saying she lied to me?’ Alex frowned. ‘Why would she do that?’
‘I have no idea,’ Dee said.
They finished their drinks and walked back along the beach together. At Dee’s house, Alex said goodbye and continued on to his workshop at Normans Bay. As she watched him walk away, Dee wondered why Katie had lied to him about not being able to drive. She thought about it, picked over the various reasons, before deciding on the most likely explanation: it was the quickest and easiest way she could think of to stop Alex going on about his new car.
Unless she’d been telling the truth and she really couldn’t drive. Which meant the photocopied driving licence in the file was a fake. And if Katie had lied about that, what else had she lied about?
Twenty
Katie
Ten years earlier
I’ve started wearing my hair the way Ella does. A loose plait pulled over one shoulder, like a rope. It’s much better than how I used to wear it, scraped back into a high ponytail. It actually hurt my head pulling it back that tight. I only ever wore it that way because of Marsha.
I practise in front of the mirror. Keeping my back and shoulders straight, head up, chin out. I stand sideways, holding in my tummy, trying to make it look flat like hers. Wanting to be her so much it hurts.
People watch Ella. I see them, their eyes following her as she moves around the bar. Slender as a gazelle, poised like a dancer. I see Shane, too. The sheen in his eyes that’s only there when he’s talking about her. He never looks at me the way I’ve seen him looking at her. But I can change that. I just need to try harder. I’m clever. According to Dad, I take after my mum that way. I’ve got her smile too, and her eyes, although he never mentions that. After she left, I used to stare at myself in the mirror for hours at a time, smiling at my reflection, searching out the little pieces of her face in mine.
I’ve already lost two stone. Roxanne’s noticed, but I don’t think anyone else has. I want Dad to say something, but he never does. He’s so used to me the way I’ve always been – fat Katie – that he’s incapable of seeing me differently.
‘You’re being sensible on this diet of yours?’ Roxanne asked. ‘Don’t want to lose the weight too quickly or you won’t keep it off. And try not to lose too much. Those lovely curves of yours, most fellas would go wild for them.’
She was trying to be kind, but it’s a bit patronising. No one looks at Ella Tate and thinks she’d look better with a few curves. I’m sick of being fat, and if Roxanne or anyone else doesn’t like it, that’s their problem.
Shane hasn’t said anything about my weight. He can’t have missed it completely, because he gets to see more of my body than anyone. Even if most of what we do is in the park, where we’re never completely naked. Plus, it’s not like when you read about sex or see it on TV or in a film. The things we do, all that heat and passion and intimacy, it’s always over so quickly. Too quickly. It’s never enough, and all it does is make me crazier for him than I already am.
I’ve bought loads of new clothes. Things I’ve never been comfortable wearing before, but now they look good on me. I dress like Ella, but not in such an obvious way that anyone would think I was copying her.
Like I said, I’m clever.
I’ve started smoking, too. Cigarettes help you to lose weight, and now that I’ve lost two stone, I only have one more to go to reach my target. If Dad finds out about the cigarettes or the cider, he’ll go mental. If he finds out what I do in the park with Shane, he’ll probably kill me. Roxanne’s the only person who guesses I’m up to something. More than once, she’s tried to have a word, but each time I’ve changed the subject. I can see she’s worried about me, but she needs to mind her own business. She’s not my mother and she has no right to interfere in my life. Besides, she spends so much time with Ella these days, I’m surprised she can even find the time to talk to me.
I saw them together in the bar earlier, chatting and laughing like they were best friends or something. As soon as Roxanne went to the loo, I grabbed a bottle of cider and came to the park. I’ve sent Shane a text asking if he wants to join me, but he hasn’t replied.
We always come to the same spot. It’s a little area at the end of the park, behind the bushes. There’s a piece of ground where nothing grows, just a patch of dead grass and clay. You can sit in here and no one else in the park can even see you. It’s perfect for what we do when we’re together.
I’ve never been here on my own before and it feels a bit weird. I check my phone to see if there’s anything from Shane. Nothing. I want to text again but I know that will give the wrong signals, so I don’t. I open the cider and take a sip. I’ve got used to the taste now and it goes down pretty easy. I keep drinking until the whole bottle’s gone.
The more I drink, the angrier I get. Shane still hasn’t texted me back and I’m sick of being treated like this. I’m the best girlfriend he’ll ever have, but you wouldn’t think it. He practically ignores me in college. Hangs around with the same stupid group of friends. At lunchtime, he never comes to chat or asks me to have lunch with him. And I’ve seen him with those girls. Lily and Livvy and Freya. There’s a big gang of them, bu
t those three are the queen bees and he’s their precious prince who they spoil with their air kisses and their arms draped around his shoulders on their way to the park or the canteen or wherever the hell he goes to when he’s with them instead of me.
I need to wee. I stand up and realise I’ve drunk more than I should have. The cider’s gone to my head and the world feels wobbly as I make my way through the park to the toilets. I splash water on my face, but it doesn’t make a difference. All it does is smudge my make-up. I do my best to tidy it up, but my face in the mirror keeps blurring, so in the end I give up. I leave the park, not sure what I’m going to do now, knowing I can’t go home until the cider’s worn off a bit.
I’m halfway across the road when I see Shane. He’s walking ahead of me on the opposite side of the road. I open my mouth to call his name. Then I remember he hasn’t responded to my text and I’m meant to be angry with him. So I follow him instead, keeping far enough back so it won’t look as if I’m following him if he turns around and sees me.
It’s too hot. Sweat is rolling down my face. I wipe it away, but more comes and I give up. The woozy cider buzz make me feel like I’m in a dream. Heat rises in waves from the pavement, blurring Shane’s body and adding to the sense that this isn’t real.
At the end of the road, Shane turns left, heading towards Hither Green station. I hurry forward, scared now that he’s going to catch a train and I’ll miss him. It strikes me then that I’ve no idea where he lives. I wonder how I could know someone the way I know him without being aware of basic things like where he lives or whether he has any brothers and sisters or what his parents do.
When I turn the corner, I see he hasn’t gone to the station. He’s turned onto Leahurst Road. My heart skitters inside my chest and flutters of excitement tickle across my stomach. He’s going to the pub.
I slow down, calm now, knowing it’s okay. I get to the corner and he’s there. Smoking a cigarette and leaning against the wall outside the pub. Waiting. He must have got my text, and I’m smiling so hard my face hurts, my body light with the knowledge that he’s here for me.
The pub door opens and Ella comes out. She crosses the road and walks towards the station, in the opposite direction to where Shane’s standing, so I don’t think she sees him. He throws his cigarette to the ground, twists it out with the toe of his Converse trainer and starts to follow her.
I don’t know what he’s doing or what I’m supposed to do. So I just stand there in the blazing sunshine, watching through a haze of summer heat as Ella Tate disappears into the tunnel under the train station. And Shane – long, lean and beautiful – walks after her.
Twenty-One
Dee
Friday morning, Dee was in her car by 6.15. She drove along the seafront as far as Holywell, turning right at Duke’s Drive and crawling up the steep hill that wound around the edge of town. Suddenly she was in a different world. A world without houses or buildings. Rolling hills of green fields dotted with sheep. The sun creeping over the edge of the white cliffs at Beachy Head.
She pulled into one of the parking bays near the pub and visitor centre. Despite her constant gnawing anxiety, her mood lifted as she got out of the car and let her mind absorb the breathtaking views that stretched out on every side. These cliffs, the highest chalk cliffs in the UK, marked the southern edge of the South Downs National Park. The ocean lay more than five hundred feet beneath her. If she moved closer to the cliff edge, she would see the Beachy Head lighthouse. White with a thick red stripe across its middle, it had been down there for over a hundred years, built to replace the other lighthouse – the Belle Tout – that stood just west of here, perched on the clifftop. Beyond Belle Tout, the jagged white cliffs continued along the coast, their shape changing year by year as the chalk gradually eroded away.
‘Dee!’
She turned away from the view to see Louise jogging over to her. Even at this time in the morning, her cousin was perfectly turned out: body-hugging Lycra, her blonde hair tied back in a neat ponytail, and a pair of designer shades blocking out half her face.
This early-morning walk had been Lou’s idea. She’d called Dee last night and suggested they meet for a catch-up and a bit of exercise. In the past, too far back to count the years, the pair of them had gone on regular hikes together. Living on the edge of the South Downs had given both girls a taste for outdoor life when they were younger. During their teenage years, they used to get the bus out here and walk for an entire day, sharing secrets and analysing every aspect of their lives in that forensic way peculiar to teenage girls.
After she left Eastbourne, Dee would always try to fit in a walk with Louise whenever she was in town. Since coming back this time, they’d talked a lot about reinstating their regular outings, but over two years in, this was the first time they’d managed it.
‘I thought we could walk to Birling Gap and back,’ Louise said.
‘Promise me we’ll take it easy,’ Dee said. ‘Especially along the first bit, where it’s really hilly.’
‘You’ll be fine,’ Louise said. ‘You’re fitter than you think you are. Come on. I need to be home by eight. The kids’ll be up by then and I don’t want them to wake Martin. Don’t give me that look, Dee. He had a late flight last night and he needs a lie-in, okay?’
‘I didn’t give you any look,’ Dee lied. She linked arms with Louise. ‘Let’s get going if you’re on a deadline. You can tell me about yesterday’s meeting along the way.’
Louise had spent the previous afternoon at a town hall meeting set up to give the press – local and national – an update on the hit-and-run investigation.
‘The whole thing was a complete waste of time,’ she said as they set off. ‘Ed wasn’t even there. He left Rachel to handle it all. She claimed they’re making progress, but she wasn’t very forthcoming.’
‘You think they know more than they’re letting on?’ Dee asked. ‘And slow down, for Christ’s sake. If we keep going at this pace, I’ll collapse.’
‘Give yourself a few minutes to get into your stride,’ Louise said.
Dee didn’t reply, saving her energy for the walk. This first stretch was the hardest. Steep hills that rose and dipped, so one minute they were walking along a high ridge with the rising sun warming their backs, and the next they were plunging down into the cold space between hills, where the sun hadn’t yet reached.
‘Janet Higgins did most of the speaking,’ Louise said, managing to talk without any obvious effort as they worked their way up the next steep curve in the cliffs. ‘She’s their press person. Useless. I asked if they were any closer to identifying the victim, and she nearly wet herself.’
‘You mean they know who she is?’ Dee paused for a breath, and to take in this latest information. If the police were able to identify the victim, surely it meant they were a step closer to understanding who might have killed her. And if they could identify the killer, prove once and for all it wasn’t Katie, maybe Katie and Jake would feel safe enough to return home.
‘Definitely.’ Louise looked over her shoulder. ‘Keep up. It gets easier after this. Janet mumbled something about no formal identification, but she was looking at Rachel the whole time. In the end, Rachel stepped forward, smooth as anything, and said it would be foolish to speculate about who she might be until they had all the facts.’
‘You need to speak to Rachel,’ Dee said, hurrying up the hill after Louise. ‘Tell her it’s off the record and see what she’ll tell you.’
‘I’ve tried that before with her,’ Louise said. ‘It doesn’t work. She’s only interested in cooperating with the press when she thinks we can help. Clearly, at the moment, she doesn’t think we can. Maybe you should try Ed. You’re just his type.’
They’d reached the top of the hill. Belle Tout rose up in front of them, the white edges of the Seven Sisters cliffs jutting into the sea behind it. The glitter of sun reflecting off water, the white dash of a seagull chasing across the blue sky.
‘Heaven o
n earth,’ Dee said. ‘How could I have forgotten what it’s like up here? And what do you mean about me being Ed Mitchell’s type?’
‘You’re unconventional,’ Louise said. ‘He likes that. I’m sure that’s why things didn’t work out with Catherine. They wanted different things.’
‘How do you know all this?’ Dee asked.
‘I know what people are like. And what attracts them to each other. And I think you and Ed would make a good match.’
‘No chance,’ Dee said.
‘We’ll see.’ Louise grinned. ‘But remember, if you do have sex with him, I want to know everything.’
‘You’re so immature,’ Dee said, but she was smiling too. One of the best things about being back home was seeing more of her cousin again. Even if Louise drove her mad half the time, Dee wouldn’t be without her.
Louise had been right about the walk getting easier. Dee barely noticed the hill up to Belle Tout. After that, the ground evened out and the final stretch to Birling Gap was painless.
‘We should go down to the beach,’ Louise said. ‘It’s beautiful there in the morning. We’ve got time.’
‘Do you mind if we don’t?’ Dee said. ‘The last time I was there was with Katie and Jake. We took him for a picnic here one evening. I haven’t been back since.’
Her chest hurt remembering that April evening. Birling Gap was a special place. A pebbled beach situated at the bottom of the white cliffs. The perfect location to watch the sunset. They’d come here because Katie had heard about it but never visited. They had a picnic on the beach and watched the world change colour as the sun dropped lower and lower. There’d been other people there when they first arrived, but gradually everyone else drifted away until it was just the three of them. When the sun had disappeared below the horizon, they’d walked back to the iron steps you had to climb to get off the beach, their feet crunching over the pebbles, the sound bouncing off the white cliffs and echoing back across the still, silent evening. It had felt magical and mystical, and Dee knew she’d remember the moment forever.
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