‘What is it then?’
‘It’s about fucking respect. You flirt with the fucking waiter all night, and I’m supposed to just sit there and watch you? Are you out of your fucking mind?’
‘I know, Gabe. I’m sorry.’
‘I don’t want to fucking hear it.’ He slammed the bedroom door behind him.
I sat on the sofa for a while, hugging my knees to my chest. God, I had really fucked up now. Gabriel was right. I had behaved like an idiot, trying to prove that he wasn’t perfect — and of course he wasn’t. But he was a good man. I wondered how I would have reacted if he had behaved the same way.
Finally, I went to bed alone and lay awake for hours, hoping that he would sneak into my room and tell me that he forgave me, wrap me in his arms and tell me everything would be okay. But of course, he didn’t.
Chapter 35
Samantha
The sun was streaming through the window when I finally woke. I had no idea of the time and had left my mobile phone in the kitchen. I could hear Gabriel up and about. Suddenly, the memory of the previous night washed over me in a wave, making me bury my head in the pillow with shame. I couldn’t bear to face him. I couldn’t stand to hear him tell me that I went too far, and that it was over. While I remained in bed, I could pretend that everything was still okay. I could pretend that he was still my Gabe.
I lay awake, listening to the sound of Gabriel in the kitchen. My head throbbed and my mouth was as dry as the Gobi. Aside from that, the not knowing was killing me, so I dragged myself out of bed — time to face the music!
He was sitting at the kitchen table as I walked into the room. He was drinking a cup of coffee and I could see the remnants from his breakfast on a plate beside him. I sat down opposite him, unsure of what to say, or of how to break the ice.
‘I’m sorry, Gabe,’ I started.
He laughed and shook his head. ‘Well, that makes it all okay then.’
‘Well, what else can I say? Tell me what you want me to say.’
He glared at me. ‘I want you to tell me why you insist on testing me. You push me, waiting for some sort of reaction. Waiting for me to turn into Jackson. Well, I can save you the trouble. It’s not going to happen. It’s never going to happen. I’m not him,’ he snapped.
‘I know. I’m sorry.’
He banged his mug down on the table. ‘Stop saying you’re fucking sorry. Tell my why you keep trying to push me away.’
I stared at him as I thought about how to answer that question. I wasn’t sure I understood fully myself.
‘You know what, don’t bother — because now you’ve succeeded,’ he said as he looked down at the table.
I felt the tears stinging my eyes, but I would never let him see me cry. I felt like he had stabbed me through the heart. ‘Please don’t say that, Gabe. I don’t mean to push you away,’ I said quietly.
‘I can’t do this anymore, Sam. It’s fucking exhausting. I feel like you’re always waiting for me to fuck up. Waiting for some excuse to blame me for us not working. I’ve made allowances for you but I won’t anymore.’
‘Made allowances for me? Why? Because I’m poor, broken Samantha?’ I snapped at him.
‘No,’ he snapped back. ‘Because I want to be with you. Because, God help me, I can’t go more than five minutes without thinking about you. I have given up control for you, and you throw it back in my face.’
I sank back into the chair. He was right, of course. Perhaps I owed him an explanation? At least the best explanation I could offer.
‘I never really loved Jackson, you know? I thought I did, of course, that’s why I married him. But I was nineteen and I had no idea what love was. I was dazzled by him. I loved the person people thought I was when I was with him — at least at first. It was nice to be respected, to be revered by people, instead of sneered at because I came from the wrong area or wore the wrong clothes. Jackson hurt me in ways you couldn’t imagine, but he could never break me, because I didn’t love him. I found ways to cope with my marriage, I learned how to defend myself, I developed a high tolerance for pain and I threw myself into my work to keep me sane.’
Gabriel looked up at me then, his eyes burning into mine.
‘You have the power to hurt me in a way that Jackson never did, and never could, Gabe, and if I’m honest, it scares the hell out of me. I was the person Jackson demanded I be for so long, I’m still trying to figure out who I am without him.’
I didn’t tell him that I’d never felt about anyone the way I felt about him. Or that he could shatter my heart into a tiny million pieces, and that I wasn’t sure that was something I would ever recover from. Before I was completely lost to him, I needed to test him. I now realised that by doing that, I was bringing about the very thing that I’d been trying to prevent.
‘I’m sorry, Gabe. I don’t know what else to say. Please just give me the rest of this weekend to show you I’m trying. I don’t want to push you away, but it’s something I need to work on. You have to cut me some slack here?’
He stared at me and ran a hand through his hair. ‘I’m going for a hike. If you want to come, I’m leaving in ten minutes,’ he said before pushing his chair away from the table and standing up.
I was ready fifteen minutes later but he hadn’t left without me. I hadn’t taken longer on purpose, but I couldn’t find the toothpaste. I wondered if he thought it had been another test, but if he did he didn’t mention it, and I wasn’t going to point out the fact that he had waited for me longer than he’d said he would.
We walked mostly in silence, but that was okay. The scenery was breath-taking and I enjoyed the peace and quiet. The fresh air was doing wonders for my throbbing headache. I looked at the green hills rolling into the unending horizon and wondered how a place could be so close to the city, yet be so peaceful and tranquil.
We had been walking for over two hours when Gabriel indicated a crop of rocks we could rest on. Setting down his backpack, he took a packed lunch out of his bag.
My stomach growled at the sight of the food and suddenly I remembered that I hadn’t eaten breakfast — or packed myself any food. Gabriel handed me the package before pulling another one out for himself.
‘You made my lunch?’
‘Of course I did,’ he frowned.
‘But you waited outside when I was getting ready. I saw you out there?’
‘I made it before you got up,’ he said and I felt my heart flutter in my chest. He had known I would come with him and he had planned on letting me all along. I knew that all was not forgiven, but perhaps we would be okay?
Gabriel and I took a shower when we get back from our hike — not together, much to my dismay. Gabriel still hadn’t touched me, apart from when he’d helped me over some rocks earlier on our hike. He’d grabbed my hand when I’d almost slipped and I had wanted to hold onto him, but he’d let go as soon as I was on solid ground again. I was desperate to touch him, and to make him forget about the previous night, but it would have broken my heart if he’d brushed me off. I wasn’t used to him being like this and I missed my tactile Gabriel. The man who was always touching me, kissing me, nibbling at my neck.
He was in the hot tub when I got out of the shower and I walked outside, wrapped in a fluffy robe.
‘Mind if I join you?’ I asked.
Shaking his head, he signalled me to get in beside him. He was drinking champagne and I noticed there was another glass next to the ice bucket — obviously last night’s antics hadn’t put him off drinking with me then.
‘I don’t have a swimming costume though,’ I said.
He frowned at me. ‘Why would you need one?’
Taking off my robe, I climbed in. The contrast of the hot water and the cold air on my skin making me gasp out loud as I slipped into the water.
Gabriel poured me a glass of champagne and handed it to me, before sitting back with his arms spread out across the back of the tub, giving me a glorious view of him. He still didn’t touch me thou
gh and I wondered if he was waiting for me to make the first move.
Was he testing me?
I took a swig of the champagne for courage and moved over to straddle him. I could feel his erection between us. He still didn’t move a muscle but he smiled at me, a twinkle in his green eyes. I leaned in to kiss him and was relieved when he kissed me back, although he remained otherwise still. I raked my hands through his hair and down his muscular back. I wanted to feel his hands on me though — in my hair — on my body. I started to kiss his neck and he groaned in pleasure, his erection pressing into me further.
‘So does this mean we’re not over then?’ I asked in between planting soft kisses on his throat.
He smiled at me. ‘We were never over, Sam.’
‘What? So, you were just playing with me? Letting me believe that we were?’
‘No. You heard what you wanted to hear, just like you always do. Besides,’ he gave me a wicked grin, ‘I was interested to know how you might use this weekend to persuade me to give you another chance.’
I hit him playfully on the chest. ‘You really are an evil bastard!’
He chuckled and I started to slide myself down onto to his beautiful big cock, stopping before I took the full length of him. I purred into his ear. ‘Would this have been enough, Gabe? Or do you want more?’ He growled in response and I could feel the familiar tightening in my core. I loved the animal, guttural noises he made. I enjoyed seeing the agony in his face when he was desperately trying to maintain control.
‘Touch me, Gabe. Please,’ I whispered.
In an instant, I was wrapped in his strong arms. He held onto me, guiding my hips down further onto him, stretching me until I was so full of him I could barely move.
‘Does that feel good?’ he asked.
‘God, yes,’ I replied as I bit down on my lip, delighting in the exquisite feeling of being pinned to him.
He continued to guide my hips up and down, rubbing that sweet spot over and over until the whole world fell away around me. All I could feel was him. I realised that my body had been physically aching for him. My breasts felt heavy and tender and when he took my nipple into his mouth I let out a whimper. Then his hand was between us. Rubbing and stroking. Driving me into a maddening frenzy. My whole body vibrated, starting from my feet and working up my legs until every hair on my head felt electrified, every nerve ending on fire.
Then his lips were on my throat, at my ear. He was talking to me then. Telling me how much he wanted me. How he couldn’t get far enough inside me. How good it felt to have me riding his cock.
‘Come for me, Sam,’ he said as he spurted hot and heavy inside me. I shouted his name as he tipped me over the edge. Then he pounded the rest of his orgasm out into me while I melted into him, like a candle in front of an open flame.
‘It feels better when you let me take control, doesn’t it?’ he said as he smoothed my hair back from my face.
I could only nod, my face pressed against his chest.
‘Trust me, Sam. Give me that and I promise I’ll never use it against you. Can you do that for me?’
I nodded again. ‘I’m trying, Gabe. I promise.’
Chapter 36
Samantha
I was sitting alone in the hot tub after Gabriel had gone inside to make a start on dinner. The scenery was beautiful and I watched the sheep in the nearby field grazing happily. I smiled — happy too after making up with Gabriel. I hoped that he at least understood a little better my need to push him. To test him. Perhaps I wasn’t quite ready for a relationship after all — especially one as intense as this one was proving to be. But, I had no idea what to do about that. I couldn’t give Gabriel up and I didn’t want to. Maybe what was needed was a leap of faith?
Gabriel was chopping mushrooms when I finally got out of the hot tub. Giddy from the bubbles — both the champagne and the Jacuzzi variety, I slipped my arms around his waist and he turned to face me.
‘I’ve been thinking, Gabe,’ I said.
‘Always dangerous,’ he replied with a grin.
‘I want you to tie me up. Here, where no-one can hear me scream,’ I returned his grin.
‘Are you sure?’ he asked, although I could already see the fire in his eyes.
‘Yes. Absolutely.’
‘Are you drunk again?’ he asked, his eyes narrowed.
‘No. I only had two glasses,’ I laughed. ‘I promise I am in full control of my faculties.’
He looked into my eyes, searching for some hesitation perhaps — but he found none — there was none to find. ‘Go into the bedroom and wait for me,’ he said in his signature low growl.
I did as I’d been instructed and was looking out of the window when Gabriel walked into the room. I closed the blinds and walked towards him. He held out his hands to show me my scarf, the belt from his bathrobe, and one of the curtain tie backs from the sitting room.
‘I had to improvise,’ he smiled.
‘Three?’ I frowned.
‘Four,’ he said as took hold of the belt from my bathrobe and slowly pulled it from around my waist. ‘You have four limbs, don’t you?’
I swallowed. ‘I thought it was just arms.’
‘Trust me,’ he breathed as he kissed my neck.
A few moments later, I was tied, spread-eagled to the bedposts. Unable to move my arms or legs more than a few inches.
‘Are you comfortable?’ Gabriel asked.
‘Yes,’ I answered breathlessly. My heart was racing in my chest.
‘I’ll be right back,’ he said with a wink before disappearing out of the room. When he returned a moment later, he set a glass down beside the bed. I strained my neck to see what was inside. It looked like ice cubes, except they were dark in colour. I didn’t ask and Gabriel didn’t speak. I watched as he undressed until he was standing before me in all his naked glory.
Crawling onto the bed, he took an ice cube from the glass and placed it in his mouth. Then he kissed me, his lips and his tongue cold from the ice. As he did, I realised what it was. He’d made ice cubes using Jack Daniels mixed with water. When had he even done that? God, he was so bloody sure of himself and I loved it.
He trailed the cube down my body, swirling it over my skin before licking it off. Every so often he returned to my lips so I could savour the taste of his whisky filled mouth. Between my hot skin and Gabriel’s hot mouth, the ice melted quickly and soon there was only one left. Taking the last remaining cube, he trailed it down the centre of my body with his fingers and then rubbed it on my clit before licking up the melting whisky. Finally, he pushed the remainder of the cube inside me and I thought I might faint. Gabriel lapped it up from me as it melted. I pulled at my restraints, desperate to touch him and he chuckled at my efforts.
I closed my eyes and concentrated on the feel of Gabriel’s cool hands on my body. My skin felt like it was on fire. Soon, his lips were at my neck while his hands touched all the places that made me tremble with the need of him. ‘Are you still okay?’ he whispered.
‘Yes,’ I groaned.
‘Good. Tell me if you want to stop.’
Then Gabriel spent the next two hours kissing me, rubbing me, biting, licking, sucking, fucking me. I lost count of the number of times he made me come. In the end, it felt like one long, heavenly orgasm. Afterwards he untied my legs and arms, massaging the skin where the restraints had rubbed against me. The skin on my right wrist, where he’d used the rope curtain tie-back, looked red.
‘Are you okay? Does it hurt?’ he asked as he kissed the inflamed skin.
‘No, it’s fine. Anyway, you know I have a very high tolerance for pain,’ I replied jokingly.
He frowned at me and was about to say something, when I kissed him.
He pulled away. ‘Maybe if you didn’t struggle so much...’ he raised an eyebrow at me.
I laughed. ‘So it’s my fault then? You tied me up, Gabe. You have to take responsibility for any injuries sustained in your kinky shenanigans.’
; He grabbed me and pinned me down on the bed, nipping at my shoulder.
‘Kinky shenanigans? Admit it. You love it.’
‘Hmm, yes I do,’ I agreed.
Chapter 37
Samantha
I was washing the dishes from the previous night’s dinner when I felt Gabriel’s strong arms around my waist.
He nuzzled my neck. ‘Why didn’t you wake me?’
‘You looked so peaceful. I didn’t want to disturb you,’ I answered as I turned in his arms. ‘Besides, you worked so hard last night I thought you might need a rest.’
I felt him smile against my neck. ‘You enjoyed being tied up then?’
‘Just a little,’ I teased him and he bit me playfully on the shoulder.
‘Sit down,’ I told him. ‘And I’ll make us some breakfast.’
He sat down at the breakfast table. I made coffee and took it over to him. As I placed the mug down on the table, he pulled me between his legs and kissed my stomach through my bathrobe. ‘I hope you’re naked under here, Sam?’
‘I am. Why?’ I replied.
‘Because there’s been something I’ve been dying to do since I saw this giant table,’ he growled as he untied the belt on my robe, brushing his hands over my hips and his lips over my stomach. I ran my fingers through his hair as he lifted me onto the table. He moved the hot coffee out of the way before sitting back down, pulling his chair in as though he was about to sit down to a meal. He pushed me back so I was lying down on the table and then he slowly raised my legs until I had a foot planted firmly on each of his shoulders. Wrapping his large hands around the back of my thighs, he pulled me to him until I was only inches from his face. I could feel his hot breath on my skin. And then I felt his warm tongue, licking the length of my slit before he started to blow on my clit.
Dark Angel: A Dark Romance: London Ruthless Series Book 1 (The London Ruthless Series) Page 14