by Jessica Ames
There are very few people who would get away with talking to Ravage like that. Sasha is one of them. I’m the other, though Rav has his limits with me, and I know when to push them and when to step off.
Rav won’t lay a hand on Sasha ever, but he might take out his anger on nearby objects, so I brace, ready for anything, but he seems to hold onto his temper long enough to growl out, “She turned up here covered in fucking blood, talking about heads being blown off. We need to make sure this isn’t going to come back on the club.”
He’s right. This has the potential to go south fast. We’re not prepared for an attack. There are women and kids in the clubhouse right now. Not the ideal circumstances to throw down with an enemy
Sasha drops her hands to her hips and peers up at her man, her eyes like molten lava. “She doesn’t know anything, Ty, and you’re upsetting her.”
Lucy is holding it together a lot better than I’d expect any civilian to after watching their boss get gunned down. Most people would be destroyed after seeing that, but I’ve seen shock affect people differently over the years. She’s scared, I can tell that, but the full gravity of what happened will hit her later, when she least expects it.
Rav blows out a breath, sounding like an irate bull before he shifts his eyes to Lucy. “Are they coming here?”
Lucy nibbles on her bottom lip and grips the table harder before she shifts her shoulders.
“I don’t know.” The words are spoken quietly, fear making them shaky.
His temper finally flares, and Rav curses as he snatches the door handle and strides out of the room, Sasha mutters an apology before she goes after him.
I stare at Lucy, and her eyes raise as if she knows she’s being watched. She meets my gaze for a moment before she goes back to studying her knees. I hate seeing the defeated look in her eyes.
I mutter a “Be back soon,” at Lucy.
As soon as the door is shut behind me, I hear Sasha yell, “I know you want answers, but shit, Ty, do you have to be so hard on her?”
I like that she’s defending Lucy. She owes her that. There are not many people who would take in a mother and kid and take care of them for years, and that’s what Lucy did. She protected our girls when we couldn’t
Rav glares at her under his heavy brow. “You and Lily are here.” It’s all he says. It’s all he has to say. Sash and his daughter, Lily-May, are his world and Lucy bringing her shit here has put them in the firing line.
Plus, there’s half a dozen other kids and women holed up in the common room right now. We were hosting our monthly cook out when Lucy came crashing through the gates, meaning the clubhouse is busier than usual. I understand Rav’s fear. There are a lot of innocent lives at stake here that could get hurt in the crossfire.
Sasha seems to deflate at his words. “This isn’t Lucy’s fault.”
He snorts, his disbelief clear in that one sound.
“Where’s Lucy work?” I ask before Sasha can rile at Rav again. I’d rather keep him level.
“West Allied Acquisitions. She’s an account manager.”
I recognise the name, but I don’t know shit about the business itself.
“What do they do?”
“As far as I know they buy up failing businesses. Lucy doesn’t talk much about work.”
“Maybe the shooter was a disgruntled CEO,” I suggest. I’ve known people to go off the deep end for less.
“It’s never happened before.”
“Doesn’t mean it can’t happen,” I point out. Sasha concedes this with a nod. “How long has she been working there?”
“About two years. Before that we both worked in a bar, until I was too pregnant to carry on. Then Lucy got the job there to cover our bills.”
Rav growls at that information, no doubt pissed Sasha had to work in some shitty bar to take care of herself. That would never have happened if she’d stayed. Fuck, no matter what Rav thinks of Lucy right now, he can’t deny what the woman has done for his girls.
“Did she ever mention anything strange at work?” Rav demands, tearing the tie from his dark hair, his patience running low.
“No.”
“Anything like this ever happened before?”
Sash’s eyes flare at his accusing tone. The women are tight, so it’s not surprising his questions are pissing her off.
“No! She’s not the enemy, Ty! If Lucy says she doesn’t know shit, then she doesn’t. It could be a case of mistaken identity, wrong place, wrong time—anything!”
Rav’s eyes meet mine and I see the unspoken words—something stinks—as he rakes his fingers through his hair.
He’s right. It’s very rare a hit would be carried out like this on the wrong person. We need to find out who her boss is. Even if Lucy doesn’t know these men, they now know her.
“Get a perimeter set up,” Rav says. “Church in ten minutes.”
Church, despite its name, has nothing to do with religion. It’s what we call our club meetings. There’s no confessional on the planet that could clear us of our sins. Me and my brothers have committed more than our share of atrocities over the years, some of them haunt my nightmares, others have disappeared into the deepest vaults of my mind.
I organise the perimeter security with Fury, the club’s Sergeant-at-Arms, before heading to the chapel, my brain a hive of activity. I can’t wrap my head around what the fuck her boss is into that warranted his head getting blown off. What the fuck dirty dealings could he be doing in acquisitions?
I sink into my seat at the table on Rav’s right hand side, feeling a surge of irritation roll through me as I drum my fingers on the tabletop. She tried to hide it, but I could see the fear in Lucy’s eyes. I didn’t like seeing it.
Fury takes the seat on the left side of the table, flicking his knife in his hand as he does. There’s tension in the movement, and I raise my eyes to the brother, wondering where the fuck his head is at, wondering where all my brothers’ heads are at. There would usually be jostling, banter as the lads get settled around the table, but there’s no fucking around today. There’s an edge to the men that seems to hang heavily in the air. I understand it. It’s not every day we have a woman crash through our gates covered in blood.
“You move that cage?” Rav asks Titch, who nods.
“Hector dragged it out and stashed it in the garage.”
Hector is our head mechanic and has run the club’s garage for the past two and a half years. He’s not club, but working on the compound, he knows when to shut his mouth and when to step up. Rav wanted to give him the prospect rag, but the guy doesn’t want the life and this life isn’t something you can be half-in, half-out of. It’s all or nothing. Still, the fucker is loyal and that counts for a hell of a lot.
“She say what happened?” Levi asks, leaning forward, so he can look up the length of the table to the head.
“Armed men came into her office and killed her boss. She witnessed the whole thing,” I mutter, feeling lethal rage gnaw at my belly at my words. The thought of her witnessing that pisses me off.
“Is she a target?” Daimon’s question sits heavily in the air and my chest feels tight as I draw in a breath, smelling the burning tobacco from his cigarette.
“She’s a loose end,” Rav answers, tapping a ringed hand against the table.
An unpleasant feeling washes through me at his words. The thought of Lucy in danger makes my skin crawl.
“We really want to get dragged into whatever shit this bitch has going on?” Levi clasps his hands together on the tabletop.
Hearing him call her a bitch has me growling, “Watch your fucking mouth.”
He arches a brow. “You found some new snatch, Nox?”
His tone grates on my nerves, mainly because I have no idea why I’m defending her. “Just because you’re using the same cum dump you’ve been using for the past five fucking years,” I fire back with an unpleasant smirk.
Levi riles at this, as I expect. “Fuck you. Noelle ain’t a fuckin
g cum dump, and you know it.”
That’s exactly what she is, but everyone knows Levi favours the petite blonde bunny. He’s fucking crazy, making it into something it shouldn’t be. You fuck club whores, you don’t fall for them, but who am I to judge his choices?
Rav loses his patience. I see the moment his thin thread of control snaps. He slams his hands down on the table and roars, “Quiet!” a hush descends over the room. “Can we get back on fucking track?”
“What’s the next step?” Daimon asks, as always, the voice of logic and reason. He flicks his cigarette in the ashtray on the table before he takes a long drag. Him and Levi disappear behind a cloud of smoke as he blows it out. It tickles the back of my throat.
“Find out what the fuck the boss was into that might have got him killed. Once we know that we can work out who might be coming after Lucy.”
“I don’t mean no disrespect, Prez,” Titch says, “but why the fuck do we care? She ain’t one of us. She ain’t club.”
My eyes flare with rage and I flick my gaze to Rav. I see the anger in his eyes at being questioned, before he manages to wrestle it back down.
“Lucy’s family. She took care of Sasha and Lily-May when we couldn’t. Show some fucking respect,” I snap.
“Even if she hadn’t taken care of my woman and kid,” Rav continues, “this shit went down in our territory. If someone is operating here, under our noses, I want to know who.”
I suspect he’s doing it for Sash too. Lucy is her best fucking friend, and there’s little Rav can deny his woman. Me neither when it comes to Sasha.
“We can’t just throw her out and let her deal with this shit,” I grind out, my irritation getting the better of me.
Rav taps his fingers on the table. “For now, we keep all non-patches off the compound and Lucy stays here until we figure out what the fuck is going on. She’s going to need protection in case these fuckers come back.” He brings down the gavel. “Meeting adjourned.”
3
Lucy
Whizz cleans me up the best he can and gives me some meds for the pain. I slip them into my pocket when he’s not looking, even though my torso and head are a ball of agony where I hit the airbag. I’m too scared to take them in case they knock me out. I have no idea what they are or how strong and I need to be on my guard, in case—
In case of what?
Would Isaac’s men come here? It would put them at war with the Untamed Sons, and I’m not sure Isaac would risk it, but I’m not sure of anything when it comes to him. He’s always been so unpredictable, like an ever-changing storm swell that shifts direction with the wind.
For years, I’ve managed to stay off Isaac’s radar. I thought I was finally safe, that he’d let me go, but it was an illusion. I’m realising now that the safety I thought I’d found with Sasha and Lily-May was not real.
That thought shatters my heart.
Whizz moves to the sink to wash his hands, keeping one eye between me and his task. These men don’t trust easily, and for good reason. When you live outside the lines of the law yourself, you know what people are really, truly capable of and the darkness that consumes them.
And I have no doubt these men have committed terrible crimes that rival Isaac.
Maybe I should just go home, let this whole game of cat and mouse come to an end. My decisions are destroying lives, can I really let it destroy my friends too? Hank is dead and that’s on me. How many more have to die, just so I can keep my freedom?
Thinking about my boss makes my stomach roll and the memory of the bullet sinking into his skull from Leon’s gun makes my head spin. Hank didn’t deserve what happened to him. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time and because of that his family will never see him again. Isaac’s men will clean up and make the crime disappear. Hank’s family will be left wondering what happened to him, thinking he just left them and walked away.
If only Hank hadn’t been working.
If only he hadn’t tried to be noble and defend me. Hank was a good man.
Tears brim in my eyes and I swipe them away as anger floods my veins.
If I go home, Hank will have died for nothing. Even if I wanted to, I can’t go home. I won’t live with a monster. I’ll die before that happens.
To be a bird trapped in a gilded cage again fills me with dread. I underestimated him, as always.
I need to start making plans, working out escape routes to leave town. It’ll cleave my heart into pieces to say goodbye to Sasha and Lily-May, but staying puts them in danger. My best friend has been through enough with Sin, without me dumping my clusterfuck of a life on her.
The door opens, drawing my attention and Sasha slips into the room, her eyes flicking towards Whizz as she does.
“Can you give us a second?” she asks.
Uncertainty passes on the doctor’s face. I hate the suspicion these people are treating me with. I’m not their enemy. At least, I don’t mean to be. It’s just another sign I need to get the hell out of here before I become entangled in something I can’t control. I don’t think Ravage is a man to cross—none of these men are. Even Whizz has an air of danger around him.
“I’ll be just outside the room,” Whizz says, eyeing me like I’m a dangerous animal. If they knew the truth they’d never leave me alone, especially not with Sasha.
She waits until the door snicks shut behind him then turns to me.
“Are you all right?” she asks then winces. “Of course you’re not all right. Stupid fucking question, but…” She trails off and I let her off the hook.
“I’m okay. A little shaken, but I’m okay.”
Her brow arches and I see the scepticism in her eyes. “You saw something terrible. It’s okay to not be okay, Lucy.”
I don’t tell her that this isn’t the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but she doesn’t know that Lucy—the one who has witnessed atrocities. She only knows the version I’ve given her over the past three years.
I duck my head, acting the role that is expected and sniffle. I should give myself a fucking award.
“I’m totally freaking out, but I’ll live,” I force a smile that makes my face hurt, the lies cutting through my painted-on expression. Lying to the Sons is one thing. Lying to my best friend covers me in dirt. It makes my words taste like poison on my tongue, makes my heart feel heavy.
Sasha eyes me and I see the sympathy cross her face as she tucks her short hair behind her ears. “Tyler will figure it out and keep you safe. You don’t have to worry.”
The thought of Rav figuring anything out makes my stomach fill with ice. The man is dangerous, he has this air of chaos that seems to follow him everywhere he goes. He’s also smart. Some digging around and Rav will realise good old Hank was an upstanding citizen without a stain on his record.
Then his attention will turn to me.
I need to be gone before that happens.
She reaches out and grabs my hand, squeezing it. I don’t deserve her kindness, her compassion, her understanding. I don’t deserve anything from her, and if she knew the truth about me, she wouldn’t give it to me. She’d hate me. I know, because I hate myself.
My lies are catching up with me and I don’t know how to stop them circling. How can I fix the unfixable? Sasha’s assurances should put me at ease, but they don’t. If anything, they make my belly ache with a hollowness. I never want to hurt Sasha or Lily-May. They’re family.
She squeezes my hand again. “Ty, Nox—they’ll protect you. I promise.”
I wish that was the case, but they can’t protect me from Isaac. No one can. Coming here was a huge mistake, one that could cost the club. I know the lengths Isaac will go to in order to bring me home. I don’t know that they have the ability to stand up to a man like him.
Forget hanging around until I have a plan, I need to hit the road now. If anything happens to that little girl, to Sasha, I’ll never forgive myself.
“This isn’t your problem. I made a mistake coming here.”
The tears that prick the back of my eyes this time are real. All my life all I wanted was to belong, to have someone care. I thought I found that with Isaac, but it was a lie. He wanted to keep me like a pretty little doll he could pull out whenever he needed to. I hated him for that. It was one thing in a long list of things I hated him for.
There’s a knock, then Nox steps into the room. His bulk fills the space and his presence seems to suck all the oxygen out of the air. I take a shaky breath as heat swamps my body, shifting a little as his eyes roam over my face.
He thinks I’m a victim. I’m not. A knife stabs into my stomach. I hate lying to him. I hate lying to them all, but what choice do I have? I’m a sitting duck out there alone, and I’m petrified what will happen if Isaac’s thugs get hold of me. I barely escaped this time. Next time, I might not be so lucky.
“There’s a prospect waiting to take you and Lily-May home,” Nox says to Sasha, finally pulling his gaze from me.
Sasha looks torn between loyalty to me and protecting her daughter. I give her an out. “Go home and be with Lil,” I tell her.
She lets out a breath and then says to Nox, “You better look after her.”
“Promise.”
He pulls Sash to his side and kisses her head. Then Sasha throws her arms around me and whispers in my ear, “I love you, Luce. Stay safe.”
When she pulls back, the lump in my throat is so big I can barely swallow past it. My lies score my soul deeper than any scar and I hate myself for perpetuating them.
Nox waits until Sasha leaves the room before he says, “How are you feeling?”
“Sore.” I shouldn’t admit any vulnerability, but the words fall from my mouth before I can stop them. He makes my tongue loose and I don’t like that he does.
I pull my guard back up. I can’t afford to let anyone in, especially not a member of the club.
“Whizz hook you up with some painkillers?”