Seeking revenge for the death of my brother powered my existence.
I had caused his death. A fucking distraction in the heat of battle. Everything happened so fast, but I saw it every time I closed my eyes… that is, if I didn’t relive Eira’s death instead.
Another death I’d caused.
My brother would say “think of all the lives you’ve saved,” but all I could see were the two I’d lost. The two lives that meant more to me than thousands of others. Those were the two I couldn’t save.
Yanking the t-shirt over my head, I stared at the wall of my closet through the few shirts hanging in front of me. The secret panel wasn’t obvious, but I checked every morning to make sure it hadn’t shifted or come ajar.
No one had come pounding on my door yet. The patrols I’d stopped and talked to hadn’t reported any suspicious activity from the SECR border. At least no more than usual.
I’d caught a five-man SECR spy team yesterday.
They waited for their end in my barn.
I took a deep breath, taking in the scent of stale, musty air. My house needed to be aired out, but I didn’t like to open the curtains, much less the windows. Someone was always watching, and I liked my privacy. The refrigerator and stove didn’t work, but the microwave did, though it made any food cooked in it taste like cardboard. But I kept it clean. My mother would be proud of that.
The house was powered via my personal generator, which also ran the well in the yard and pumped fresh water through the house. The plumbing was on a septic tank. I didn’t need anything from the city, and no one ever needed to come hunting for me. Even the mailman promised never to come back after a heart-to-heart talk with my sword.
I closed the closet, grabbed my jacket from the bed, and exited the house through the patio door. The unusually icy wind bit into my face. I squinted and shook off the discomfort. The job had to be done, and a little cold weather wouldn’t slow me down.
The clinking of chains and garbled cussing greeted my ears as I slid the massive barn door to the side and slipped inside. Yanking a string near the door, I paused for a second while my eyes adjusted to the low glow of the single bulb hanging from the ceiling.
Against the far side of my barn, chained ten feet apart, were five SECR soldiers. They were good at what they did. They’d managed to sneak past the border patrols and not come up on any of the radar sensors. But their fatal mistake had been snooping around the road to Sanctuary. I might not be a citizen of the supernaturally charged town, but I wasn’t about to let anyone mess with them.
The Pixies in Rose’s Cafe asked me every time I came through why I wouldn’t move in. The reason was simple. I didn’t want anyone to depend on me. Outside of the town, I could do more good. No one would grow attached to me, and I wouldn’t become attached to them. I could eliminate threats before they even knew they existed, and those damn SECR soldiers were constantly trying to infiltrate. Like they were searching for something… or someone.
Didn’t matter. They all had the same fate coming, regardless of what they were hunting for. I would make sure none of them ever found it. Now that I’d seen the Blackmoors alive and well, I wondered if it was the Drakonae they sought. Didn’t really make sense, because I’d been killing SECR soldiers ever since I moved into this house. Miles and Eli had lived in Sanctuary as long as I remembered. It was Diana who was a new addition to the town. I hadn’t visited since she’d arrived.
“You’ll die for this, asshole,” one of the chained men said, his voice dripping with hatred and loathing.
“Probably not,” I answered, rubbing my hand over my mouth. “But just for that, I’ll give you a chance to go first.”
“First?”
I narrowed my eyes and held my mouth in a tight line, enjoying the glimmer of fear taking residence in his gaze, but trying not to show it. At least one in every group talked big and thought he could tell me how things would happen. They always thought their precious republic would send reinforcements as a gallant effort to rescue them. But I knew where to find the sensors embedded in their shoulders and had already used a stun wand to disable them.
“If you think your people can track you, you’re wrong. I disabled your locators.”
The bold one opened his mouth to speak then snapped it closed.
I let just the beginning of a grin start to show.
Pulling a sword from the wall closest to me, I tossed it to the center of the room. It clanked on the concrete floor, capturing the attention of each of my prisoners.
“You get one chance. Win, you go free. Lose… Well, let’s just say you won’t like that option. But it’s definitely the most common.”
“No one fights with swords,” the man huffed. “Let me fight you hand to hand, and I’ll take you down.”
“You don’t have to use a sword,” I replied, walking forward and picking up the sturdy blade. I twirled it a few times and sighed. “But you do have to pick a blade.” I pointed to the wall where I’d taken the sword from. There were several choices. Short swords. Long swords. Scimitars. Daggers. I’d collected blades from every corner of the world over the years.
“The shorter dagger on the left.” The man stood, his chains clinking against the floor. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders.
Confidence. I could appreciate that in an opponent.
Nodding, I hung the broad sword back on the wall and took down the dagger. I dropped the smaller weapon in the center of the floor as I walked toward him. His choice didn’t matter. I could kill him no matter which weapon he chose.
He extended his manacled arms toward me. I pressed my thumb to the security reader on the electronic steel cuffs and stepped away quickly as the chains dropped with a clang.
I stood off to the side as he rushed to the center of the room, grabbing the dagger. He held it up toward me and snarled. “I’ll kill you, asshole. You’ll wish you’d killed me while I was in the chains.”
Reaching behind my head, my palms gripped the hilts of the two samurai-esque swords I carried with me everywhere. One was mine; the other my brother’s. They slid from their sheaths with a grating sound that was music to my ears. The perfectly balanced, perfectly weighted, razor sharp dragon steel blades were the original swords my brother and I had carried from the Veil when we escaped.
His eyes widened to the size of tea saucers, and I allowed the wicked grin I’d been holding at bay to spread across my face.
“I thought you would use a dagger, too.” He gulped audibly.
I shook my head slowly, letting his mistake take root deep in the pit of his stomach. “You assumed wrong.”
I drove the shovel into the hard cold ground. Lifting a heavy load of soil, I tossed it to my right —onto the mound covering a fresh grave. He’d fought well, and his death had been swift and clean. It made a point to the other men. Tomorrow I would give another the chance at his freedom.
Glancing across the land behind my barn, I took a deep breath. Dozens of pine saplings swayed in the wind, their crisp evergreen scent filling the air. One for each grave.
Chapter 6
EIRA
I wandered through the large lodge the Masons purchased decades ago in Ada to use as a headquarters for the pack. Chad nodded to me as I passed an open living space. He and several other guys were crowded around a coffee table, playing cards.
Continuing down the hallway, I reached the kitchen and sat on an empty stool at the island counter in the center of the room. Charlie had her back to me, cooking her favorite chili. The scent of tomato sauce and cayenne powder was strong, mixed with hints of coriander, cumin, garlic, and oregano.
She turned, releasing a sharp gasp of surprise. “You always sneak up on me like that. A girl could use some warning.”
“You’re a Lycan. You should be able to hear everything,” I answered, a grin splitting my face.
“Everything except a vampire trying to be sneaky,” she muttered, shaking the chili spoon at me. “When did you get home?”
“Just last night.”
“How is Diana?”
“She’s doing well. The pregnancy is making her eat like one of y’all, though.” I chuckled, still astounded after all these years at the appetite a grown Lycan possessed.
“Babies make any woman hungry.” Charlie turned to her giant pot of chili and resumed stirring. “Did you see Travis and Garrett while you were there?”
“I saw lots of Lycans. The town is crawling with them. Why are you interested in those two?” The reason for her interest wasn’t lost on me, but it was more entertaining to draw out my friend’s discomfort than answer her right away.
She spun to face me and narrowed her gaze. “Quit being a pain in the ass.”
“Oooh, grouchy, aren’t we? Do I need to dig you out a pint of Rocky Road?”
“It won’t help.”
The defeat in her voice instantly filled me with regret. She’d been struggling since the two brothers had showed up and taken Diana earlier in January. One of them had triggered her heat cycle, and she’d been miserable since. But no amount of coaxing had convinced her to visit Sanctuary with me.
She knew as well as I did that, if she’d go to Sanctuary, she wouldn’t leave. Charlie wanted to quit the smuggling runs. She wanted a family of her own, but her parents wouldn’t let her leave the pack to look for a mate. The problem was… none of the males in the pack were viable mates or they would’ve already presented themselves.
Lycans could and did sleep with whomever they pleased whenever they wanted, but only a magickally compatible pair could conceive and have children together.
“Sorry, hon. I didn’t mean it.”
“I know, Eira. I’m just more than a little irritated. Mom and Dad are planning a run into Savannah to rescue a large family group that was taken into custody last week. Manda came in yesterday with her cousin Shalem and told us where they were being held and how to break in. It should be an easy run, but all I want to do…”
“Is run the other direction?”
She nodded, her eyes filled with a pain I recognized. I’d felt that same pain the first time it sunk in that I would never have a normal life. Never carry a child within my body. It was a pain only another barren woman could understand.
“I’m eighty years old, Eira. I know that’s nothing compared to you, but I’ll only be able to bear children for another forty. And I still want to have a family of my own. I’m so jealous of Diana. She has her mates and a baby on the way. It’s everything I’ve dreamt of for decades. Then I finally, maybe have a chance, and my parents won’t let me leave the pack. They just keep saying to wait. That eventually someone in the pack will be a good match.”
She chunked the spoon onto the stovetop and crossed her arms over her chest.
My face twisted into a grimace. It wasn’t fair. I knew her parents were overprotective and a little on the controlling side. But they were old and hated the way the world had changed. Both of them wished they’d taken the pack and left the country when the whole thing started.
“Why don’t we do this run to Savannah and then you tell your parents you have to take a step back? There are plenty of competent wolves in the pack that can help lead. You don’t have to be the only one they depend on. You have to take a stand for your life, Charlie. If one of those McLennon brothers is supposed to be your mate, you have to reach for it.”
“I want to. But I’m scared. This is all I know. I’m old enough to remember this country before it split into dictatorships.”
“Republics,” I spit out, sarcasm dripping from my voice. The Republics were a hairsbreadth from dictatorships. Even Texas with its more open-minded viewpoints still had a military presence in almost every town. The advantage to living in Texas was that they wanted the Others. Wanted them living in their towns. And really wanted them enlisted in their military.
“Yeah, they use that term to make themselves feel better.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “And I’m pretty sure I’m supposed to be with both McLennon brothers.”
I opened my mouth to tease her more about the dictator comment, but snapped it shut, surprise rendering me momentarily speechless. Multiple partners between Lycans were very rare. Wolves were intensely territorial, and I’d only met one other couple in my long lifetime that shared a female between them.
No wonder she was scared.
Her parents would have a hey-day with that tidbit of information. Lycan tradition was important to them, and multiple partners weren’t traditional. Another reason the Masons bought this lodge was from the tradition. Throughout history, strong packs lived together in large plantations, mansions, compounds. Whatever worked for the time period. The packs that survived kept their living arrangements in close proximity, and pack was stronger for it.
“Are you sure?”
She nodded slowly. “I wasn’t positive until I saw them when they came for Diana.”
“Do they know?”
“I’m pretty sure they could tell. They could also tell I was nervous, and I think that’s why they are giving me my space. Having two mates just isn’t…”
“An everyday occurrence?”
She snorted. “That’s putting it mildly.”
“I still say you need to talk to your parents. You’ll regret not having the life you were meant to have much more than taking the initial leap of faith.”
Charlie picked up the spoon again and waved it at me. “Thank you for your advice oh-wise-and-ancient-friend.” Sarcasm dripped from every word.
I dropped my fangs and hissed. “Fine, don’t listen to me. But if I had the chance to be with the man I loved and have his babies, I would jump at it. Believe me. Even after a thousand years, the ache for love and children doesn’t fade.”
Her expression changed, regret evident on her face.
“I’ll see you later tonight.” I spoke quietly before leaving the room in a blur. Her apology floated in the air behind me, but it didn’t matter. Being a vampire had changed me in many ways. One of the first things to fade was being easily offended. I knew Charlie hadn’t meant what she said in a spiteful way. Plenty of persons through the years had said much more hurtful words. Time could heal almost all wounds.
My friend was suffering in a heat cycle she couldn’t escape. It really wasn’t right that she was going on this run. She’d be distracted, and that was dangerous, but it wasn’t my place to tell her parents to give her a break. She was a big girl. If she wanted to find her happiness in this messed-up world, Charlie needed to reach out and grab for it. No one was going to hand it to her.
I found a chair on the sprawling back porch of the lodge. The sun was setting, and a wash of reds, pinks, oranges, and yellows painted the sky. Being a part of the day and night again was a gift for which I could never truly repay Hannah and Meredith. The ring that made it possible for me to walk safely in the sun not only allowed me to worry less about being trapped somewhere, it also returned a piece of my humanity that I’d begun to lose over the years. Living in the dark with other monsters can bring out the monster inside anyone.
Chad’s familiar scent tickled my nose long before he emerged from the tree line yards away. He jogged toward me and planted his firm ass on the chair next to me with a huff.
“How’s it going?”
“Just finding a quiet spot to rest until the pack heads out tonight.”
“Are you coming to Savannah?”
I nodded.
“That’s good. We need you.”
“Chad?” I asked as a dark thread of fear wound its way around my soul. “Charlie mentioned that Manda had another Djinn with her —someone named Shalem.”
He stood from the chair. “Yep. He was quiet. Didn’t say much. Manda vouched for him, though. I listened in to most of the meeting. It seemed normal. Charlie’s parents were grateful for the intel. Yada yada. You know.”
I nodded. It was possible Manda was recruiting more of her own people away from Xerxes. The more Djinn against him, the better it would b
e for us and the rest of the world. Still, it just seemed strange. I wished I’d been present for the meeting. Perhaps I was overreacting.
“Gotta get some of that chili I smell. See you in a bit, Eira.”
“‘Kay,” I replied, watching him disappear through the back door into the lodge.
Protecting people had been my MO since before I was a vampire. Only the strongest and most skilled could become shield maidens, and I had surpassed everyone in my training class. My instructors had called me a natural warrior. Fighting came as easily to me as feeding did now. My sword was just an extension of my body, and my heightened senses as a vampire had only made me more deadly through the years.
I listened to the voices inside, to the mix of family and friends that lived within the walls and formed the Mason pack. They loved and fought for each other no matter what. Some had sacrificed their lives so that the rest of the family could survive. If one word summed up Lycans, it would be loyalty. They would die before they would let you down. It was also one of the reasons Charlie was having such a hard time telling her parents she needed to leave.
Leaving the pack was tantamount to desertion. But if she didn’t go, she’d likely never find another magickally compatible mate in time and would live her life alone and childless.
Just like me.
My thoughts strayed from my lack of children to the one in particular I’d met while staying in the Castle after Diana and I first arrived in Sanctuary. This adorable little girl with red ringlets had walked up to me without a care in the world and told me I belonged in Sanctuary as a Protector. She couldn’t have been older than six or seven, but she spoke with authority and such surety in her voice that it struck a chord within me.
I’d told her she was mistaken, and she responded that “I don’t make mistakes.” To which I’d replied that she’d made one with me. I had no intention of remaining in Sanctuary to do the bidding of a woman I barely knew.
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