His brown eyes ate her up from head to foot, pausing a few extra seconds on the top edge of her tight black leather camisole. A spark of warmth shot through her center, pleased that he found her attractive. It’d been a long time since she cared whether a male found her sexy… it was strange to feel pleasure from him noticing her now. She didn’t want to care. Caring meant other feelings could follow, and she didn’t want those feelings. As long as they didn’t come, she would never hurt again.
She didn’t deserve to ever feel happiness again. Bottoming for a sadist was the closest she could get to feeling enough pain to forget the overwhelming loss Fate had dealt her. It was the only way she could pay penance for failing her daughter and her mate.
He extended his hand as he approached. He didn’t smile again, but his eyes were soft, as if he knew what a high flight risk she was. “I’m Finn. I’m looking forward to scening with you tonight. Do you know what you might want to do?”
His words were so formal, yet gentle. It took her completely by surprise. Talk about putting the ball in her court.
She slowly placed her hand in his large palm. “I’m Teagan,” she returned, swallowing as his strong hand closed around her much smaller one.
His thumb stroked the top of her hand subtly, sending calming sensations through her tense body. Magick flowed back and forth between them and lit a spark deep inside her that she hadn’t felt in decades. It couldn’t be possible.
His eyes widened. He’d felt the magick too. His fingers tightened just slightly, holding her more firmly. “It’s nice to meet you, Teagan. Walk with me.” He gestured with his free hand to the long dark hallway that led to an open playroom outside the main club area.
She swallowed her nerves and nodded. It was just one night. Right? She could handle any Dom for one night. Mate material or not. It didn’t matter. He couldn’t force the issue. It was against Lycan customs.
Maybe he was better with a flogger or whip than she assumed. She could ignore the warming sensation building in her core and just be a sub.
He dropped her hand, and she tensed again when he placed it instead at the small of her back. She stepped forward quickly, putting an extra step between them and breathed a little easier when his hand wasn’t touching her any longer.
“Teagan, stop.”
The command resonated deep in her heart. Without a thought, her feet stilled and she froze in place. Obeying Javier was a conscious effort. For this male she’d just—stopped. No hesitation.
“Tell me to go right now; otherwise, I don’t want you to avoid my touch again.”
“I’m worried you won’t give me what I need,” she said slowly, turning to face him.
“Why?” He stood patiently, his arms at his sides and his eyes studying her thoughtfully.
“You’re not a sadist.”
His lips curved slowly and his brown eyes darkened. The smoldering look heated her from the inside out. That look. The one he was giving her right now, was what she needed. The look that growled just-give-me-a-chance-to-make-you-regret-what-you-said. The look of a Dom ready to punish a sub. At least that’s what she hoped he’d do.
“What are your hard limits, Teagan?”
She swallowed. “I don’t have any. As long as it hurts, I’m fine with it.”
His eyes narrowed, and his full lips straightened into a hard line.
She found herself wishing for another smile. Wishing she could touch his face and body and… Oh, gods! What is happening to me? The harsh glare she was getting from him now made her insides go cold. He wasn’t scary in the I’m-gonna-hurt-you way, instead it was a scowl that made her feel disappointed in herself. The idea of disappointing him scared her more than Javier ever had with a whip or cane.
“Do you have a specific safe word?”
“Red,” she answered. There had never been a need for anything more specific. She’d never had to safe-word out of a scene and didn’t foresee it being a problem in the near future. No Dom had ever pushed her beyond what her pain tolerance could handle. There was no way this guy would either. He looked like he’d rather hug her than hit her.
No amount of physical pain could ever equal the emotional pain she carried with her every day. And physical pain was her only escape from the emotions. It didn’t look like she was going to get much release tonight.
She was a match. There was no denying the flow of magick between them. What he’d waited on for so many years had finally walked through the Castle door, but she didn’t want him.
She wanted someone to hurt her.
No limits. She was a little further gone than he’d first assumed. Why was a sweet little thing like her looking for a sadist to torture her beautiful body? She was naturally submissive. He’d heard her breath hitch when he’d commanded her to stop. She’d responded without thinking. She was perfect… except that he could tell something was off. The light that should’ve been in her eyes was dark. Not only did she desire pain, he would bet she lived with the memory of something terrible on her mind every day.
He did too. If she’d lost people, they shared that misfortune. When the shit hit the fan fifty years ago, his parents had gotten caught in the crossfire. Neighbors they’d lived next to for years had turned on them. His father had thrown himself in front of a bullet meant for his mother. When she’d crawled out from under her dead husband, the same neighbor had put a bullet in her head as well.
He and his brother had been running toward them, screaming for her to run. But she hadn’t. When her body hit the ground with a sickening thud, they’d both changed.
They both regretted what they’d done next, but in the moment, revenge had been their only thought. The blood on their hands would follow them forever. The sounds of their neighbor’s small children screaming from the porch still haunted his dreams some nights.
It was acts like those that perpetuated the hate, even though he and his brother hadn’t started the fight. In those terrible moments, they had become the animals humans ranted about and feared.
Monsters.
He placed his hand on her lower back again. She flinched, but not nearly so noticeably this time. It was a shame that such a beautiful woman only wanted to feel pain. His touch made her uncomfortable, but he knew it wasn’t personal. More than likely she didn’t like anyone to touch her. At least not in a protective or gentle way.
The hallway forked, and he led her to the left, into one of the open rooms on the ground floor. Tonight they would stay outside the main club. She needed something different. Her spirit was sad… broken. Even though she said she wanted to be put through the paces by a sadist, all he could see was a woman who needed to be loved. Treasured.
“We are playing in the courtyard room tonight.”
“Yes, Sir.”
She walked willingly beside him now, not attempting to break contact with his palm. The large garden room was mostly empty. Another couple sat in the far corner on a large, black leather couch. The Dom’s face illustrated how well his sub was doing at giving him a blow job.
Finn walked Teagan straight to the opposite side of the room. “We will use the sawhorse tonight.”
“Yes, Sir,” she answered, a bit more energy in her voice this time.
“Go to the wall and choose two instruments,” he commanded, gesturing to the wall to their right. All sorts of toys were displayed. Any type of flogger, paddle, whip, or vibrating toy was ready and available. If the Castle didn’t have something a Dom or Domme desired, it was handmade by one of the local pixies. No one was allowed to bring anything inside the Castle.
It was a nice setup. Anything they used tonight would be removed from the room by an attendant, usually one of the Sisters, and sanitized or disposed of.
This patio room was cavernous, especially with the deep merlot paint on the walls and the ceiling. The lamplight was a soft yellow, mimicking candles on the walls. It was quieter here than down below in the main club area. Tonight he wanted it silent. He wanted to be able to hear her ever
y breath and gasp.
A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth as he watched her run her hands over the selection of toys. He pursed his lips together to hide it. The cane she picked was thick—he’d have to be careful with that. The paddle was a sturdy leather one, about the size of a table tennis racket. She really did have it in her mind that he was going to beat her.
She returned and he took the toys from her, laying them on a small side table near the spanking sawhorse. This particular sawhorse had a padded top bar and padded arms for her elbows and larger ones for her knees, giving her good support but leaving her pussy and breasts nicely exposed. It also had a main lever for raising and lowering the height of the horse.
“Strip. Put your clothes on the table.”
“Yes, Sir,” she answered, bowing her head respectfully. She reached behind her back and tugged down the zipper for her leather top. Then she did the same with the short black leather miniskirt. She shimmied out of the skirt, revealing that she wore no panties.
Good girl.
She folded the skirt and laid it precisely on the table, then pulled the unzipped cami free from her breasts, letting them loose of their confines. They were gorgeous—round and full. Ready to be played with. She folded the leather cami, then stood tall and beautiful in nothing but her creamy white skin.
She was stunning.
He patted the bar and she leaned forward, lengthways, along it. She let her arms hang loosely while he adjusted the armrests to support her weight, then strapped her wrists down using the padded leather restraints attached to the sawhorse. Each time his fingers grazed her soft skin, he felt a surge. The magickal exchange between them was getting his wolf wound tighter than a cocked trigger on a Colt .45.
“How’s your comfort level?”
“It’s good, Sir.”
Finn adjusted the height of the leg braces, then guided one leg and then the other into place until she was snugly secured. He patted the round globe of her ass, smacked first one cheek and then the other.
A surprised gasp slipped from her lips, and her scent changed instantly. That wasn’t magick. That was her responding to a light swat…
Nothing hard and certainly nothing that a masochist would get off on, but it was a start for him. It was more to warm himself up to the idea that she was going to want him to hit her and cause physical pain. Using a paddle was fine, but her expectations with the cane were making him slightly uncomfortable.
He walked to her side, then slipped a hand beneath her stomach and the padded bar, indicating he wanted her to arch her back. She did, and he arranged her breasts to each side so that if she wanted to lean down on the bar it wouldn’t hurt, plus he intended to attached some weighted clover clamps to her pretty pink nipples.
He picked up the rounded paddle from the table and began running it along her skin. Touching her shoulders, her back, her legs, and then finally moving toward her ass. He tapped lightly a few times and then struck each cheek once. A soft moan rolled from her chest. Seriously? He laid his hand against the reddened globe and rubbed, bringing more blood to the area.
“Count to ten.”
“Yes, Sir,” she answered.
He watched the muscles in her ass clench and release as she prepped for the strikes. Pulling his arm up, he brought it down in three successive pops.
“One, two, three,” she called out, speeding toward the three like an old-fashioned cassette tape on fast-forward.
He slid his hand along the crack of her ass, letting his fingers slip between the folds of her pussy. She was already slick. A smile curved the corners of his lips as an idea bloomed in his mind. She claimed to be a masochist, but here she was swollen and drenched after a mere three strokes of a paddle. Thank the gods. Everything he’d been psyching himself up to do with her instantly changed course in his mind.
His dick hardened, but he dismissed his arousal. Tonight was about her. Only her.
He lifted the paddle and let it strike twice again.
“Four. Five,” she moaned out.
Finn slid his fingers between her legs and spread her slick juices over her clit. She bucked against the touch but couldn’t move more than an inch or two up and down or to the side.
“Ahhh.”
He rubbed, alternating between putting pressure directly on her clit to circling the swollen bud. Then brought the paddle down a little harder on her pink ass.
“Six.”
He turned his hand, facing the palm to the floor, and slipped a finger inside her pussy. Curling his finger downward, he smiled when she released an audible hiss followed by an all-over body shudder. She was close, but fighting it. Why? Although, why would she claim to be a masochist and put herself through hours of torture without any pleasure? She clearly was aroused.
“Come,” he ordered, bringing down the paddle again while he continued to finger her with his other hand.
“Seveeeeeeeeeen.” The number came out in a disappointed, languished voice. Like she was weeping over the orgasm.
Her vagina clamped down on his finger, and he could feel the swells of her climax still rippling through her muscles even after she’d stopped panting.
“Good girl. That was a good start.” He pulled his hand from between her legs and brought the paddle down three times in swift succession.
“Eight, nine, ten.” She finished counting with a sigh, as if those last strikes had barely registered. “A start, Sir?”
He swatted her ass again for the question but bit back a smile, pleased she caught his inference even with her mind floating in the pleasure of her climax.
“I get to ask the questions, not you, sub.”
“Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”
Chapter 3
He’d only paddled her for ten counts, but already her body hummed. Already she’d climaxed. Usually she fought to find the place where she could release. The pain overwhelmed every sense when Javier whipped her. It wasn’t uncommon for her to go an entire hour session and only come once.
She knew why her body responded so easily to Finn. But she didn’t want it. She didn’t deserve another chance at a life with a man, a family. A life where children could be a possibility again.
The magick was wrong. It had to be.
The pain in her nipples from the clamps had mixed into the general hum of everything else. Now, after the orgasm, she could barely feel the weights. He wasn’t striking her though, so they hung still. Once the cane strikes started, they would jerk and yank on her swollen nipples.
She gasped as he slid another finger inside her wet vagina and rubbed gently against her front wall. A shiver ran through her, and she couldn’t stifle the slight moan that escaped. It was strange to feel so much pleasure in one session.
She didn’t deserve to feel this good.
I deserve pain.
That was why she came to the club. She craved the disconnect from herself. Only real pain allowed her to truly escape her memories. The exhaustion that came with being beaten. After Javier’s sessions, she usually didn’t get out of bed for several days while her body healed.
“Get out of your head, sub,” he hissed, pulling his fingers out of her heat.
The air whooshed before she felt the sting of his palm connect with her ass. The burn surged through her like an inferno. She gasped in surprise as her body convulsed and another orgasm clamped down over her like a vise. She screamed, pulling at the cuffs as her muscles tightened and throbbed.
Again? He’d made her come twice in less than five minutes. She sucked in a breath and moaned as he massaged her bottom with his large hands. His fingers kneaded and rubbed, then slipped between her wet folds again. So slick. So wanting to have more than he was giving.
He walked to the table. She swallowed when she saw him pick up the cane. But then he put it back down and gave her a wicked smirk.
Her mouth went dry and she waited.
He walked over to the wall of toys and opened the top drawer of the black cabinet in the center of the wall.
Dildos?
Her ass clenched and she shivered. Anticipation of what he had planned drew beads of sweat to her forehead.
She craned her neck, trying to see what he was taking out of the drawers. Several things clinked together, but his hands hid the items from view.
“We’re going to fill you up a little before I play with the cane. Have you ever had a butt plug?” he asked, setting the toys on the table next to the cane.
“Yes, sir.”
“Good.” He picked up a large blue plug, a bottle of lube, and walked up behind her. She heard him squirt some liquid out of the bottle and then the cold gel hit the tiny ring of muscle between her cheeks. A small cry slipped from her mouth as he used the very tip of the dildo to work the lubricant inside her ass.
The tingle and warmth started almost immediately. She squirmed in her restraints and moaned, earning another sharp swat. She tensed, waiting for additional spanks, but they didn’t come.
“Stay still.” His voice oozed sex and control, and she wanted both. Craved both.
Since when, though? “Yes, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”
“Good girl.” He rubbed her burning ass cheek and then patted it affectionately.
She’d already come twice, and he wasn’t showing any signs of stopping the session. He hadn’t even used the cane yet.
She hissed as he slowly pushed and pulled the butt plug in and out, working it slowly past the tight rosebud of muscles. Her ass filled, and stretched and just a slight streak of delicious pain edged its way through her body. Her mind blanked, and she found the place where she didn’t have to think. Didn’t have to be herself anymore. Didn’t have to remember everything she’d lost.
More pain was better. More pain made her forget. Made her feel a little less guilty for… surviving.
She breathed into a deep thrust and shuddered as her body clamped down on the toy. He patted her ass and moved toward the table once again. She watched him and released a sigh when he picked up the cane.
“You want this?” He held it up and ran the tip of it along her arm and over her shoulder.
Sanctuary, Texas Complete Series Box Set Page 68