Air froze in my lungs, but I forced myself to keep walking. To not scream and flail and take flight from that spot. I wanted to leave him standing in the hallway and disappear into the bowels of the castle.
They’d never find me. Not in time to guilt me into doing anything. It’d worked for years. It would work again, but then…I’d be making Alek wait and wonder longer. I’d be drawing out my own torture. It was better to get it over with right now.
“I-I’m Gretchen.”
“Beautiful name for a beautiful woman.”
That sick feeling returned, creeping up from the floor, around my legs, and up my spine until I wanted to hurl. It squeezed and squeezed, determined to rid my body of anything I’d eaten today. I sucked in a quick breath through my mouth, trying to ward off the gagging reflex hard at work in the back of my throat. If I didn’t sleep with—Larson—it would just be someone else the next weekend. And then again and again. Possibly months until I conceived. Oh, gods! I can’t do this. I can’t do this. I can’t do this.
I pressed my eyes shut and paused. He didn’t push or pull. Just stood there, waiting patiently, like the gentleman he was dressed to appear. But a man who led a first interaction talking about making me scream his name was far from a gentleman.
“Are you well?”
I could say no. All I had to say was no and this whole charade was done, finished, at least for this weekend, but it wouldn’t solve my problem. It wouldn’t get me what my heart truly desired.
Only sex with a stranger would do that.
Fuck you, Rose.
“I’m good,” I said, making sure my voice was soft and sweet. I gestured toward my door, and he released my arm and opened the door for me. I walked through and stepped to the left, wrapping my fingers around the iron candlestick on my desk. “Please close and lock the door behind you.”
He closed the door and looked away for just a moment to turn the latch on the deadbolt. In that moment, I swung. The metal thudded against the back of his head, and I closed my eyes. Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead. I hadn’t hit him that hard, but he dropped to the floor with a thump like a sack of potatoes.
I opened my eyes and jumped away from his sprawled figure. The candlestick in my hand didn’t have any blood on it. Thank the gods. I set it on my desk and knelt, reaching my hand over his nose and mouth. Warm breath moistened my palm. He was breathing. A quick nudge of his shoulder with my foot said he wasn’t waking up anytime soon.
I made short work of undressing him and discarded my own dress, pulling on his pants and dress shirt and jacket. I twisted my hair into a tight bun on top of my head and pushed the bowler into place. Granted I didn’t look anything like him, but I certainly didn’t look like myself at first glance, either. And most of the Sisters would be locked away in their rooms by now. No one would be patrolling the halls.
At least I hoped they wouldn’t.
His shoes wouldn’t fit. My feet would clomp about in those like a toddler playing dress-up with her mother’s shoes. I’d have to risk it. At least barefoot, I’d be able to move quieter on the stone floors.
I pushed him out of the way of the door and then turned the deadbolt to unlatch it. Turning the doorknob slowly, I inched it open until I could peer through a crack into the dimly lit hallway. No one. Not a sound echoed. I opened the door all the way and slipped out, my shoulders tense and my jaw locked—waiting for someone to call out my name and end this desperate attempt at freedom.
But it didn’t come.
I walked slowly down the hallway on my tiptoes, barely breathing for fear that I would make enough noise to be noticed. The dragons could hear everything. Every pin that dropped in this maze of stone somehow made its way to their ears. Male laughter rumbled down the hallway, and I pressed my body into an alcove, praying they would pass by and not turn toward me.
“I can’t believe she actually picked a man. We’ve been trying to get her to participate in the joinings for a decade.”
“Well, I can’t imagine spending the night with anyone but you. Hopefully, your friend made a wise choice.”
“You’re sweet for saying that, even though I know you don’t remember me, but that’s why I always choose you, Rawlins.” The female voice carried on. “Oh, and she did make a good choice. Karen has slept with that gentleman before. According to her, she’s never had better orgasms. Gretchen should be in for a treat.”
“Well, well, well. What do you say about me to your sisters? Should I work harder to impress?” The male she’d called Rawlins raised his voice, making a point to sound purposefully hurt.
“You never leave me wanting. Don’t you change a thing.” The female voice belonged to one of the Sisters who always felt the need to call out Gretchen after she’d avoided a joining.
Even though Lina’s words shouldn’t mean anything, I couldn’t help but feel hurt that she would share such personal details with an outsider. With someone who didn’t really care about her and who wouldn’t remember Lina the second he stepped out of the castle. Everything here was pretense and charade. We had no life. No choices. No free will.
We were no better than slaves to Rose’s whim, and no one even seemed to care. They all just helped her, saying it was for the greater good. Their lives were the sacrifice that had to be made.
Well, they were just going to have to sacrifice without me from here on out. I’d find Alek, and if he really wanted to be with me, then we could run. If he didn’t want me, I’d leave without him and disappear into some city somewhere. I’m human…human enough anyway. I didn’t look or act differently than any other person out in the world—except for the occasional vision.
There was that minor issue, but I could deal with it later. Right now, I just needed to find Alek.
The voices of Lina and her partner faded, and I pushed on, weaving quietly through the stone halls until I reached the foyer. One of the Lycans who frequented the club stood guard at the massive door. A door I probably couldn’t budge an inch on my own.
Backing up a few steps, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. You can do this. Think. There had to be another way out. The library had windows, but they were too high from the ground—three floors up. The second level breezeway had windows, too, but even I knew jumping from that level was beyond stupid.
I turned around and headed for the back stairwell. Even though it was higher, the library windows would be easier to go through than the steel bars on the breezeway. It took every scrap of willpower not to run. I couldn’t afford to make that much noise. The Blackmoors would hear, especially Diana who rarely left their personal living quarters on the third floor just down the hall from the library.
The stone beneath my bare feet was cold, and a shiver circled my spine. I climbed the dim stairwell. Step after step after step. I continued until the familiar sconces I walked past each day came into view. The third level of the castle was less cold. Large decadent carpets covered the floors. Beautiful tapestries hung on the walls along with paintings I’d been told were from masters all over the world. The Blackmoors enjoyed beauty and art and had salvaged as much as possible since the Riots destroyed a lot of American history. At least that’s what Alek had told me.
I passed a Pollock, a Durand, and—one of my favorites—a Leutze depicting a historical figure named Washington crossing a river with his soldiers. He looked strong and brave and like a man someone could trust. Alek had told me that General Washington had led this country to freedom hundreds of years before I was born. Of course Alek also added that it was good Washington was long dead and gone, because he would roll in his grave to see what his country had done with the freedoms he and his men fought so hard to gain.
I took one last look at Washington’s face before stopping in front of the open French doors to the library. The lights were out. Better for me. I walked in and closed the doors softly behind me. Anything to dampen the noise I was about to make would help tremendously.
Bee-lining for the floor-to-cei
ling curtains on the far side, I scrambled to untie the sashes binding each panel into a perfectly gathered swath. The library sat at a corner in the big castle, so there were two long walls of windows and dozens of curtain panels. As I moved from curtain to curtain, I knotted the sashes together, creating a rope I hoped would get me near enough to the ground to drop without breaking any bones.
Once the last curtain had been relieved of its sash, I went to the farthest window in the corner, the one that looked out over the side of the castle and not the front circle where everyone and anyone might see me. The sun had set while I worked, but true darkness hadn’t swallowed the town yet, and from what I could tell, there were only street lamps here and there through the town, unlike the center circle where there were dozens.
I tied the end of my sash rope to the heavy foot of the love seat where Alek and I had spent many afternoons. It looked strong enough to hold my weight. The window screeched a little as I pushed it open, and I winced—each high-pitched wail echoed through the room. Please don’t hear me. I waited for a moment, but no one came. No one yelled for me to stop.
Tossing the rope through first, I leaned out and looked down the high stone wall. The sashes waved in the soft breeze, and I strained to see where they stopped. Quite close to the ground. It looked like a short jump from the bottom knot. I can make that. I have to make that.
“Gretchen.” Her voice froze every muscle in my body.
I glanced up through the dark into Diana’s cold blue eyes. “Please.” The whisper came out before I even thought about it. She must’ve been in the library when I entered. The door hadn’t opened since I came inside.
Diana’s head leaned to the left. The decision to let me leave the castle went against everything the Drakonae worked for each day. She was struggling. I could see the shout on her lips forming like a perfect storm. This was my only chance, I’d never get another. Not after what I’d done. No one would ever trust me again.
“It’s either this or lock me in a cell for the rest of my life.” My voice trembled, fear and longing and desperation poured out of me all at once. “I need to do this. I have to know.”
Her eyes widened slightly, realization dawning like a brand new sun welcoming the day. “Alek?” Her tone barely more than a whisper.
I nodded, climbing to the window sill. Turning around, I grabbed the rope and slid one foot down the stone wall until my toes found a small gap and a little leverage.
“Do not leave the town.”
“I’m not.”
She bit her bottom lip, rubbed her rounded belly, and then whirled, leaving me alone to finish what I’d started. I held still until she disappeared through the large doors in the shadows across the great library. Relief and gratefulness and a good dose of surprise swamped my brain. I’d been an idiot to think I could get out without one of them hearing me. She’d actually been in the library. Had probably been napping and woke up when I opened that damned window.
Still, I’d hadn’t expected her to let me go, but I wasn’t about to ruin the chance she’d granted.
The wind gusted, sending the hat flying into the air. I watched it sail to the ground and said a prayer for strength. Holding my weight with the rope and one foot, I lowered my other foot to the same stone outcropping and sucked in a quick breath. This was it. I was climbing down the side of the castle. I was leaving the Sisters. I was claiming a new life.
I was slipping.
Oh shit!
My heart lurched in my chest, slamming into my throat. I tightened my fingers over the knot, ignoring the painful cramping in my muscles. My right toes slid off the rock edge of the brick that’d been holding me. Pain sliced through my foot, and I winced, bracing for the impact my shoulders would take. My body thunked into the wall, and I waited a moment for everything to settle before I struggled to find footing again. My arms burned from the strain.
The rock I’d been standing on had crumbled, and the edge was gone. I slowly unfolded my arms, lowering myself inch by inch until I found another edge. This time I moved a little faster, not willing to wait and see how long the old rocks would last.
Move hands down a knot, find another toehold, again and again. Breathe. In and out. The hot breeze swirled my hair, and sweat trickled from my forehead down my temple, continuing its course until it melted into the heavy dress shirt I was wearing.
I got to the last few knots and looked down at the ground in surprise. It was much farther away than it’d looked from the window above. My rope didn’t reach, but I couldn’t go back up. My arms shook each time I moved down the rope. One misstep and I’d lose my grip completely. I couldn’t take another slip, and I didn’t have enough strength to pull myself back up.
I could yell for help. Someone would come. Everyone in this town had super-hearing. I would be off this wall, safe and sound in a matter of seconds. All I had to do was open my mouth…and give up.
“Fuck that.” I kept my voice at barely a whisper. This was not the end of my dream. This was just the beginning.
I pushed away from the wall and twisted in the air, hoping to let my shoulder and legs take the brunt of the concrete below.
Ughffffffff. Air fled my lungs like I’d been hit in the chest with a battering ram. Pain radiated through my whole body, and I lay still on the warm concrete for what had to be several minutes before I managed to roll over and look up at the window I’d come out. The rope barely showed in the dark. The sashes were black. The stones were black and gray. No one would see it until morning. At least I hoped they wouldn’t.
I pushed up to my elbows and held in a cry, forcing my unhappy and offended body into a standing position. Alek’s house was two streets over on Avenue C. He’d showed me on a map once before, and I’d long since memorized it, hoping one day I’d get to see the town through more than a castle window.
I limped down Avenue A and turned onto First Street, keeping to the shadows. No one seemed to be out, and I made it faster than I thought across to Alek’s street. A left turn took me away from the town’s center, and I walked slowly along the dimly lit sidewalk, trying to tell one house from another. Few of the houses had lights on, and none of them had lights illuminating the fronts.
Alek had said his house had a blue door, but in this light, everything just looked gray. I had to find it soon. Someone would see me or hear me or smell me. Then I saw the gold emblem of the Gryphon on the door of the house to my right. Body of a lion, head and wings of an eagle. I’d never seen him shift, but he’d explained to me what he was once. What his beast looked like.
I couldn’t imagine having a part of myself that could change like that, but I would’ve given anything to be able to fly. It’d been one of the rare days he’d shared a smile with me. He loved to fly, too, and because of how low-key everyone tried to stay in the town, he was rarely allowed to shift, though he had shared that he snuck out from time to time and would fly at night, circling the town, the empty prairie, and woods that surrounded Sanctuary.
The dark velvet blue sky above beckoned, and I gazed up, wondering if he was up there looking down at me. He wasn’t. I knew he wasn’t. If he’d seen me, he’d have already come down from the expanse to tell me how dangerous my actions were. I didn’t think he’d be mad that I came, just worried about my safety. He was always worried about me. Probably as much as I worried about him each time he left on a mission for Rose. Each time I had to go more than twenty-four hours without seeing him.
I walked up the path to his front door and leaned against the cool wood, tracing the faint gold outline of the Gryphon. Such a wondrous creature. Perhaps one day I’d get to see the other side of the man I loved so desperately.
“Alek.” I spoke softly, letting my voice caress the face of the door. “Alek, please let me in.” The lever didn’t budge when I tried to depress it, but before I could raise my hand to knock, it opened with a swoosh, and I fell into his chest.
Chapter 17
ALEK
“Gretchen.” I grabbed
her around the waist and swept her inside, shutting the door in the same movement. “How?” I didn’t even begin to know how to phrase a logical question. How had she gotten out? How did they not see her leave? Did I even want to know what she’d done this evening to end up on my doorstep, in my arms?
“I couldn’t do it,” she said, her tone thin and weepy. “I want you, Alek, only you.”
Cigar smoke and the scent of a human man filled my lungs. The clothes she wore weren’t hers. They belonged to a man. A man who’d attempted to have sex with her? My beast roared and pressed against my psyche, stretching against the thin leash of control I possessed.
“What happened?”
“Don’t you want me? I came all this way so we could be together, and you only want to know what happened?”
I shook the cloud of confusion from my mind and blinked down at her. Not want her? “Of course I want you. By all the gods of the Veil, I want nothing more than you for the rest of eternity, but who let you out?”
“I escaped. I tricked a man, knocked him out, and then came here to be with you. As long as no one sees the rope, no one will even notice I’m gone until Mr. Cigar-man wakes up on the floor of my bedroom.”
I rubbed my hand over my mouth and tried not to cringe. I wanted to take Gretchen and run, but everything inside me screamed that I wouldn’t be able to protect her. Not with Xerxes and the Djinn pounding at the barrier outside every damn day for the last few weeks. Ever since the Mason lodge in Ada had burned and Charlie had come back with Travis and Garrett and the few Lycans left in her pack, Xerxes had closed ranks. We were his target—Sanctuary, the castle, Gretchen, any and all of the Sisters.
The smell of blood caught my attention. “You’re hurt.” I said, grabbing her bruised hand and holding it closer. Her skin smelled salty, and her palms were rubbed raw in several places, enough to bring blood to the surface. “What did you do?”
She yanked back her hand and glared, anger flashing in her bright blue-gray eyes. “I’ll be fine. I got out. You left me in there and I got out.”
Sanctuary, Texas Complete Series Box Set Page 106