"It's ringing," Jenny said. She was quite good at pointing out the obvious, but in her defense, she was a TV anchor and that was her job.
"But where the hell are they? I mean, it's rang eight times..." Nick began.
Ring...ring...ring
"Shouldn't someone pick up after one?" I figured Nick was asking rhetorically because no one knew the answer. No one knew where they were.
I watched Sam take a couple steps forward and put his hands on his waist. His dragged his tongue across his bottom lip and then rubbed his lips together to immediately dry them. That was the sign that he was frustrated, maybe even scared. Elyse tucked her hair behind her ears. Her feet were on the chair in front of her, her elbows on her knees, and her hands hanging from her hair. She was nervous. Ring...ring...ring...
"Oh, Jesus Christ, just hang up," said Sam.
"What?" Jenny quickly overreacted.
"What if someone picks up?" Travis asked.
"It doesn't sound like anyone is," Sam's frustration was coming to the surface.
"But what if someone does?" Dan spoke up. He sat in his chair playing with his fingers. He didn't make eye contact with anyone. He usually didn't.
"Fine. If it has to ring for another couple minutes for you to realize that there isn't going to be anyone on the other side of the damn phone, then fine!" I wanted so badly to go over there and hug Sam, but I knew that he would pull me off and leave the room. As long as everyone kept their distance, he would stay in the room and pace around.
Scott looked at my husband mysteriously. I couldn't tell if he was angry with him or if he agreed with him. I just didn't like the look. He walked over to the phone and picked up the receiver. He looked back at Sam and nodded. Sam continued to stare at him, now chewing on his bottom lip. Scott looked back at Travis and then hung up the phone.
"What are you doing?" Travis said.
"He is right. There is nobody there," Scott said.
That was a reality check. All of us were thinking it. I know I was, but as long as the phone kept ringing there was always going to be that last bit of hope. Maybe it would never be answered, but that was the difference between not knowing but hoping, and knowing there was no hope.
"Well, I've got a crazy idea," came a voice from behind all of us.
I turned to see who it was. She looked at me for a moment, so I shot her a smile. I liked her. Her name was Haylea Meyers. She was one of the station's reporters. She didn't usually work the weekends, but was filling in for another reporter and ended up getting caught in here with the rest of us. I felt bad for her. She told me she had a fiancé that was still out there. I couldn't imagine what it was like to be apart from the person you loved in a disaster like this. I only hoped he was okay.
"Why don't we go on the air? You said it was possible," She finished.
"Go on air? Why the hell would you go on air?" we all turned to see whose voice that was. It was Jack. He was some sort of lawyer from Chicago, I think. I didn't know his story because he wasn't willing to share it. I do not like judging people before I know them, that was not the kind of person my mom and dad raised me to be, but Jack was a pompous ass.
"To try and reach someone," I spoke up for the first time. I didn't want Haylea to have to verbally debate Jack alone.
"Who?" he asked. His tone was just plain rude. I wanted to slap him and I don't think I was the only one.
"Someone. Anyone. We can let them know that we are stuck in the station and if anyone has power to call us. We'll put the number on the bottom of the screen. Someone might need help," Haylea said.
"And we can help them? Look at us! We need help!" Jack shouted. Some of the ladies jumped when he raised his voice.
"If someone is alone out there, scared, they'll know we're here. They can come find us," Heather put her two cents in. It was a debate between Jack and the girls now.
Jack's fingers ran across the tough grain of his face. It had been a couple days since the men were able to shave. He started laughing for some reason and ran his hands through his hair. He purposefully took a couple seconds to stare at me, and then Heather, and then Haylea, and then he looked over at Dan. Dan was intimidated and looked down back at the ground.
"You're kidding me, right? I mean, you've got to be fucking kidding me."
"You don't have to curse," Dan spoke up, still staring at the ground.
"See Danny boy, I fucking disagree," Jack was such an ass.
"Come on, there are ladies present," Dan pointed around to them, he pointed at me.
Jack took a couple steps closer to Dan and bent over to get close to his face. Dan didn't back up, but he kept looking forward. He didn't want to make eye contact with Jack. No one wanted to look the devil directly in the eyes.
"Dan... fuck," Jack whispered.
"That's enough, come on," Haylea spoke up. She worked with Dan and knew how sweet he was. He wouldn't harm a fly and didn't deserve that.
I looked over to Sam and watched as he did nothing...he said nothing, but I don't know if I looked down on him for that. Jack was going to be a problem and I thought, at the time, that it was better to keep my family out of it. That is why I regretted speaking up earlier.
"No, now I'm serious. If you broadcast, and somehow it gets through to some people sitting at home, you're just going to let them drive on down here and walk through these doors?" Jack argued.
"Why not?" asked Haylea. Everyone else was obviously feeling what I felt and stayed out of it.
"Because...Haylea, is it? Because they'll have to step outside to get in here."
"There are two showers at the end of the hall. We don't know what this is."
"Exactly! We have no idea what this is. Are we going to believe that an airborne disease that has killed, from what I'm guessing is half of the world's population maybe more, is going to be washed off with a shower? Get your head out of your ass."
"No! Get your head out of your ass," Haylea shouted back, "We have to help them. What if it was you?"
"If it was me out there, I'm already dead!" Jack shouted and that lead to a couple moments of silence. Nobody wanted to speak up. The tension seemed to be growing with each day that passed and it was only 9:30 in the morning. I was afraid to think how uncomfortable everybody would be in twenty-four hours. Hell, what if we were here for another week?
"He's right, Haylea," I didn't have to be looking to recognize that voice. Sam spoke up. I turned to see him rubbing Elyse's head. He brushed the hair out of her eyes and then looked at the group, "Jack's right. We don't know what this disease is. If we have people coming into the station from outside, we might all get sick."
"We might not," Haylea continued to argue.
"But we might!" Jack but in. "We might get sick and we might die."
"I'm going to go check on the kids," said Molly. She was the 5th grade Math teacher that was with Joe. She excused herself from the room and went down the hall to where the kids were playing.
I think she had the right idea. I wish I had a reason to excuse myself from the room, but I didn't. And, again, I knew I needed to be here incase things started to fall apart even more.
"Until we know how safe it is, we can't let anyone inside. I think everyone here agrees," Sam was calmer than Jack. Sam talked to everyone like human beings. He waited for someone to speak up.
"I agree," said Travis. Jenny nodded quickly after Travis. I was afraid she didn't have a mind of her own.
"Sorry, Haylea. They're right. We gotta lay low for a couple more days. We can try calling someone again in a couple hours, but we can't let anyone in," Nick said.
"Fine. But if it was your fiancé out there, you'd be saying something different," Haylea said.
"We have loved ones out there too," Heather said to her.
"I know...that is why it disgusts me that you won't do anything to help them," Haylea got in her last words before she walked away.
I don't know where she was going, but it wasn't my place to talk her down. I had a
family and needed to take care of them first.
III
Haylea Meyers
W hen there is no one left in charge, no one is around to enforce the law. There was no order anymore. After being stuck in the station for a couple days, things were beginning to fall apart. But there was one rule that I knew would always hold up; no boys allowed in the women's restroom.
That is why after my argument with Jack and the others I had to get away from the group and have a moment of peace to clear my head. I turned the water on and cupped my hands under the faucet. I held them there for a moment waiting for the water to warm up. The cold water felt nice on my fingertips but was too cold to splash onto my face. Once I started to feel it warm up, I tightened my fingers so water would fill up and tossed it in my face. It felt nice. I could have done that ten more times, but I didn't know about the waterpower in the building. I didn't know if it would die out anytime soon, so I splashed one more time and turned it off.
I stared in the mirror. One compliment that I would get most often was that I had beautiful eyes. I stared at my reflection trying to see it. They were blue. They were a bright blue that almost looked like colored contacts instead of a natural iris. I wasn't sure if that meant beautiful, but to a lot of people it did, I guess.
I took a deep inhale and held it in for a second. I thought about holding my breath as long as I could until I passed out. Maybe I'd never wake up. Maybe I'd wake up and this would all be a dream. I'd like to say that that is exactly what I did, but it wasn't. I was too scared to do that. I would never have the power to take my own life.
I blew out all the air and sprayed the water dripping from my face onto the glass. Spots of water were all over the mirror blurring the reflection. I wiped it away with my hand but that just made it worse. I couldn't see myself clearly anymore. There were streaks of water from left to right. I felt more like the reflection than I did myself. I was a blur. A former version of myself. I couldn't think about anyone else but Kurt. I only hoped he was safe, unharmed...alive. I should have never come to work, but it wasn't my fault. How was I supposed to know this was going to happen? I couldn't.
I tried my best to stop arguing with myself inside my own head. I knew there would be plenty of arguing with the rest of the group so I had to keep my head clear. I turned the water back on and once it was warm, splashed more onto my face. Over the sound of the pouring water, I didn't hear the bathroom door swing open. When I saw someone out of the corner of my eye, it startled me for a moment. I turned the water off and pulled a couple paper towels from the dispenser and dried my face.
It was Heather. At this point, Jack was dead last on my list of people to talk to, but Heather wasn't much further up. She was such a nice girl, but she always ended up on my last nerve. I don't know if she thinks I'm some sort of mentor to her or if she is using me to get close to Kurt. I know she likes him. I know she dreams about him and wants to be the one engaged to him. I have the better job, I have the dream guy, and sure she is beautiful, but she was no super model.
"Are you okay?" she asked me.
"Yea, I'm fine."
"Look, I didn't mean to be rude."
"It's fine," I cut her off, "You're entitled to your opinion."
"Yea."
She just stood there watching me dry my hands. I wish she would have some guts and just say whatever it is she wanted to say. She didn't come in here to ask if I was okay and I think she was well aware that I knew that. I tossed the paper towel in the garbage and stared at her. I raised my eyebrows and waited for her to speak.
"What?" she asked dumbfounded. I couldn't believe her.
"What did you really come in here for?"
"To see if you were okay."
"Heather, come on. I know we're friends, but we're not really friends. What do you want?" even though I had all the time in the world being stuck in here with her, I didn't have time for bullshit.
"Before the phones went out...did you hear from Kurt?" she looked away from me and I didn't bother to answer until she could look me in the eyes. I wasn't going to be played like that. If she wants to ask about my fiancé, she better have the guts to look me in the eyes.
"No," I said once she looked up.
"I'm sorry, if there is anything that I can do, just let me know. Anything."
"Thanks," I stepped around her to leave the bathroom, but I couldn't leave it like that. I needed her to know that I knew how she felt. I had to put it out in the open so she would stop tip toeing around me like she had a school girl crush. "Heather, before when you said I wasn't the only one with loved ones out there..."
"Yea?" she asked. I pulled her in right where I wanted her.
"Were you talking about your mom, your dad, your brother?"
"Of course," she nodded more times than she needed to. It's because she was lying.
"Really...or were you talking about Kurt?"
"What? Haylea, I."
"You what? You don't love my fiancé? Do you think I'm new to the game, babe? Kurt is alive, I know he is, and when this all blows over, you had better stay the hell away from him."
I left her in the bathroom and didn't bother looking back. I let the door close on her face and cut off that conversation with no hopes of it coming back up. When I came back into the lounge area, where I had made my morning cup of coffee on so many occasions, the group was still debating over something.
It didn't look as intense as the conversation before, which meant that it was probably a new topic and that meant the worst was yet to come.
"What's going on?" I asked Janet.
Janet Roush was the oldest woman in there with us. She sat with her husband Bernard, but she told all of us to refer to him as Barry. Barry was deaf. He wasn't born that way, but lost his hearing about eight years earlier. She didn't tell us how. Janet was about sixty-one and Barry was about to be sixty-four.
Janet worked at the Children's Museum in downtown Indianapolis, about fifty minutes away from the station, and was in the station to do an interview about the upcoming events they were having there. Barry tagged along with her to keep her company, it was cute. He was cute. They still did everything together and because of that interview, they were stuck in here with us.
"I don't really know," Janet responded. She and Barry kept their distance from the conversation that was heating up quickly. They didn't care about what was going on. They were satisfied sitting with each other and staring into each other's eyes. Looking at them made me even sadder. I never wanted to grow old with Kurt more than at that moment.
I made my way over to the group standing around the refrigerator arguing. Of course, Jack was involved. He was talking to Scott, and Nick. At first, I stood there to get an idea of what they were arguing about, but they were all beating around the bush and taking personal stabs at each other instead of talking about the problem.
"What's going on?" I asked. I could see Jack roll his eyes when he saw I was trying to get involved.
Scott was also acting strange. I walked up completely oblivious about the situation, but by Scott's body language, I had the feeling that he was guilty. Jack was guilty, too. That was more by reputation, though.
"We've got a little bit of a problem," Nick spoke up when he realized the other two weren't going to say anything. He turned his back to the other two guys and came to stand by my side. I liked Nick. He was smart and showed initiative. I sound like I'm conducting a job interview, but he was a good guy. He was big on give respect to get respect.
"What problem?" I asked.
"We're running low on food," Nick looked back at Jack and Scott as if he was blaming them.
"How is that possible?" Joe, the English teacher, spoke up from behind me. He must have been eavesdropping from around the corner.
"I thought we had plenty of food in there?" I spoke.
"We did, but...we did," Nick didn't have an answer, or he didn't want to be the one to break it to me.
"Nobody expects to be in here much longer,"
Jack said with an attitude. "Nobody is rationing food or salvaging materials. This isn’t gonna last much longer."
"And what if it does, Jack? What if we are stuck in here?"
"We won't be," he answered.
"What if we are?" Nick was clearly on my side.
Fighting with Jack had proven to be completely pointless. Heading back into the bathroom and slamming my head into the wall countless times would end with the same result as arguing with Jack; my head would hurt.
"Well what's left?" I asked.
"There are a couple bags left in the snack machine, the soda machine has about one third left, and there are a few things in the fridge, but it's definitely passed its expiration date," Nick's willingness to speak to me when no one else would went a long way in my book.
"We can't get picky. We'll have to salvage that food."
"We can't have people eating rotten food. They'll get sick," Joe voiced his thought.
"Emily is a good pediatrician," I said and the only response was Jack's rude laughter. "Jack?"
"What's she going to do? Operate with a camera? Is she going to diagnose me with Final Cut Pro?"
"What?" I hated him already.
"She could be the best damn doctor in the world, but if she doesn't have any of the right equipment or medicine, she isn’t gonna do a damn thing for us."
"He's right," Nick said. Although he agreed with Jack, which I hated, he was being impartial and just doing what was right.
"So, what do we do?" Joe asked after a moment of silence.
"I'll throw in for a pizza," Jack's sarcastic comment was ignored by everyone like they didn't even hear it.
"We'll have to send a couple people out to bring back some supplies," I threw out the first idea that popped into my head no matter how stupid it sounded.
"Are you serious?" Nick asked. He wasn't in shock at my idea, but I think he just wanted to hear how confident I was with the plan.
"Yea."
"Wait," Jenny joined in now. It was slowly turning into a group wide debate again. "You refuse to go on air and tell people we're alive for the fear that people will show up from outside, but you're willing to go out there yourself?"
Dead Last (Vol. 1): Dead Last Page 2