I didn’t bother with a mask. I didn’t bother with gloves. The only thing I took with me was a gun. After we decided the guys leave, I got my gun back, Kurt got his gun back, and the other one was kept with Sam in his room. We figured if anyone else wanted it they’d have to go in there and at least Sam and Emily would know so they could tell us. It wasn’t the best solution to keep it out of everyone’s hands, but it worked.
I got into one of the vans and drove down the road. I’d like to say that I was simply driving to clear my head, but that wasn’t the case. This wasn’t a late-night trip to Wendy’s for food. I was driving for one reason and one reason only. I was making sure that Joe rested in peace. Nobody else wanted to. I did.
I didn’t know my way around, but luckily, I had a good memory and remembered the trip back from the hospital. I figured that was the best route to take and hopefully I would get lucky.
I was.
There they were. Walking down the middle of the road. Shoulder to shoulder looking like the scared little cowards that they were. Cam and his little friend, Seth, and then finally at the end was that bastard, Pete. They saw the headlights from the van and turned around. They all put their hands up to their face to protect their eyes from the lights. So, what did I do? I put on my high beams and blinded them some more.
I stopped the van about thirty feet away from them and got out of the truck. Nothing ran through my head. Not one thing. That is the way a soldier is trained. You’re not supposed to think about anything but the job at hand. Don’t get emotionally attached. Don’t let it affect you.
I walked up to them and stopped about ten feet away. I stared at each one of them and watched as they were all equally confused. I kept the gun tucked away in my back. Maybe they were scared. Maybe they weren’t. Maybe they were just confused. Whatever they were feeling, I wanted them to continue feeling it for the few precious moments that they had left.
“You’re from the station, right? WTIX?” it was Cam that asked me.
I figured that was enough.
I pulled the gun from my pants and pointed it at Cam. It only took one shot to put him down. Without hesitation, I turned my gun to Seth and pulled the trigger. The bullet knocked his little ass a couple feet back.
Finally, leaving the best for last, I aimed my gun straight into the heart of the one that killed Joe.
He didn’t run. He didn’t scream. He just put his hands up and began to beg.
“Please, don’t. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry!”
After a moment, I lowered my gun…to his leg and pulled the trigger.
His knee buckled and he fell to the ground screaming. I looked around to make sure that nobody was around and then chuckled. There wasn’t going to be anyone around. Not in this world.
I walked closer to him until I was standing over him. He held onto his leg in agonizing pain. I looked at both of his friends. Both were dead where they lied. Then I looked back at Pete and pointed the gun at his chest. He begged again only this time I could hear the pain and horror in his voice.
I moved my arm forward until the barrel of the gun pressed up against his chest. I pushed it in hard like it was a knife that was going to cut into him. Then…after a moment…I pulled the trigger.
Blood splattered up onto my face. His eyes rolled back into his head and his body went limp.
I bent over and wiped the blood off of my face with the sleeve of his shirt. It was the only part of his shirt that wasn’t covered in blood.
I stood up and tucked the gun into the back of my pants. Then I heard another boom. It was that same firework sound that I had heard moments before we got into the hospital. I looked up but didn’t see anything. I began to think that maybe it was a signal or a call for help. But I wasn’t going to help anyone. I couldn’t even help myself.
I turned and walked away from the bastards for the last time. I hopped into the van and drove away knowing that I could now do whatever was necessary to survive.
XLI
Jack Scoville April 19th, 2013 11:01 p.m.
I t's not like a firework. It doesn't leave you with the same shock factor that the sound of a car accident leaves you with. There's the crashing sound of a glass vase landing on the kitchen tile. There are a lot of sounds in the world that will trigger something inside your mind. But there is nothing like the sound of a gun going off. Nothing like it.
It leaves you with the same worry that the sound of a speeding by ambulance whaling its siren leaves you with. For all those parents lying awake all night because their son or daughter is out at an all-night party or sleep over...it leaves you with the same horror of getting a phone call at 4 a.m. hoping it's not the hospital or the police.
I couldn't get it out of my head. I shot off four bullets to kill three guys. I did it maliciously. I didn't think twice about it. I shot. I turned my mind off and I pulled the trigger four times.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
Bang.
I wasn't regretting my actions. I made a decision to take their lives. I was okay with that decision. That was a decision that I could live with. I wasn't thinking about them at this point. All I could think about was myself. I thought about where I was a year ago. I thought about being in Chicago working at Lafferty & Taylor law firm. It was the best job I ever had.
From the moment I stepped into that office, I was treated like a human being. Sure, there was some jealousy because I was getting a great position straight out of law school, but everyone knew I deserved it. I worked hard to get where I was already at and I was going to continue to work my ass off to get where I wanted to go. I was treated with respect by the bosses, the partners, the secretaries...by everyone.
I'm an entirely different person now. I'm not a lawyer. A lawyer would have argued his way to a victory. A lawyer would have gathered all the facts and put together quite an argument. I didn't need any of that for this trial. I needed a gun and a reason. That was it. They killed one of ours. I killed them. It was simple. It was to the point. And now it was over. I finished it. I ended it. I would have done it again if I had to because I knew that nobody else would have done the things I did.
I pulled onto Network Way and turned the lights off. I didn't want anyone to see me. Hopefully, if everything worked out the way it was supposed to, nobody would even know that I was gone. I was putting all my eggs in that basket. I wasn't working on an excuse plan for leaving the station. All we were trying to do was stay inside and survive, and I'm supposed to tell the group that I just wanted to take a little joy ride? Wasn't plausible. It wasn't believable. If I bumped into someone, that night would have ended quite differently.
I drove around to the back of the building and parked the van. I turned it off and when I stepped out of the van, I made sure to close the door as gentle as possible. I placed the door all the way closed before giving it a small jerk to hatch it shut. It made a bit of a noise, but nothing louder than a small clap of the hands.
I heard a rustle in the trees behind me.
I turned around quickly and pulled the gun out. I held it out and was ready to fire on the first thing that moved. Animal. Person. I didn't care. Nothing was going to sneak up on me. And nothing was going to punk me like those other three boys did. There was no more time for talking. I looked around and saw nothing. It must have been the wind that was blowing the leaves and messing with my mind.
When I decided there was nothing there, I turned around and walked back into the building. I opened the door quietly and stepped inside like a mouse. Again, I had to close the door like it was never even open. There wasn't a single person around. Luckily, the bathroom with the shower inside of it was a few feet from the back door.
I stepped inside the bathroom and turned on the sink. I cupped my hands and filled up a small handful of water. I tossed it on my face. I looked in the mirror and knew that wasn't going to do the trick. I stuck my head under the faucet and let the water poor on the top of my head. I stood up and ran my ha
nd all over and made sure that all my hair was damp.
I turned my head to the side and laughed. There was a small dot of blood underneath my chin. Blood from the last one I killed. Blood from Pete. His blood didn't deserve to be on me. I wiped it off with my finger and then held it under the faucet. I watched the dark red wash away into a clear stream of water. The last piece of evidence that those boys were ever alive was now gone.
I couldn't help but smile like I had just gotten the news that I was getting a promotion, a raise. I smiled like I just finished up the best day I ever lived...and in truth, it was up there with the rest of them. It was the best day I'd had in a long time.
XLII
Kurt Elkins April 19th, 2013 11:06 p.m.
I put Frank and Reggie in an office down the hall. It was a little bit cramped in there, but they were just going to be sleeping. It's not like I locked them in there to rot. Frank and I discussed putting them in the office because of Reggie's illness. I had the same concern over Reggie that I did over Sam's. I didn't want them to be out in the open with the rest of the group just in case the outside infected them. I didn't want anyone else to become sick on my watch.
I hurried down the hall and found Haylea putting together a couple of blankets in another office. I watched her. She was making such a science out of it. She wanted the blanket to be completely flat. If a corner rolled up on one end she would put her knee down in the middle and pull back the corner flattening out the rest. When she turned around, she blushed. She didn't know that I was watching her.
"I'm a neat freak," she said to me.
"I know you are. You're beautiful. Why are you setting up our bed in here? Don't you want to be out there with everyone else? What if something goes wrong?"
"Nothing is going to go wrong, babe. If we don't start relaxing a little bit more and trying to make the best out of our situation...we're all going to lose it."
She came close to me and put her arms on mine. She rubbed her hands up and down and it put chills through me. The goose bumps on my arms appeared and I couldn't help but smile. To think we had been together for almost three years and have been living in a post-apocalyptic world, she could still put butterflies in my stomach.
I took my shirt and pants off and laid down on the blanketed bed that she had made for us. We had one pillow, but I let her use it. I put a couple of bunched up sheets underneath my head. It wasn't the most comfortable, but I was going to have to get used to it very quickly.
I watched Haylea turn the lights off with a smile on her face. The moonlight peaked its way through the door window and lit up one side of her face. She looked like an angel that was sent to protect me through all of what was happening. And I felt safer. I felt as safe in that moment as I had the entire time inside WTIX.
She slid off her pants and tossed them with my clothes on the side of the room. She had some of the most beautiful legs I had ever seen. Before she got into reporting and her love of being on TV, she used to play all kinds of sports. Basketball and track were her two-favorite growing up. She played them both up until the moment she graduated high school. Staying in shape and eating healthy were important to her. She was in such great shape.
Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood. I felt a small ounce of guilt because I could tell, the way she was crawling into the blankets, that she wanted to fool around. It had been a couple weeks since we had...been together and I knew exactly what she was thinking.
But I couldn't think of that...I honestly didn't want to. With everything going on outside the building, and hell, even inside the building, I couldn't flip the switch and be in the mood. I thought that maybe I could fake it and pretend to enjoy it, but I didn't want to. That would be unfair to me and would be unfair to her. I wanted our first time back together to be perfect and to be a memory. It might sound cheesy, but we weren't going to have too many perfect moments anymore...sex could be one of them.
"Frank is pretty scared. I don't think we did as great a job making him feel welcomed as we could have," I said to her as she kissed my cheek.
"He'll be fine," she said in between kisses.
"Maybe I should go check on them again. Make sure that they are okay."
"They're fine," she started passionately kissing my neck and moving down to my chest.
I watched her press her lips against my bare skin. It felt nice and comfortable, but nothing more. My mind was in a completely different place and I knew that I couldn't get it back. I put my hands on her shoulders and gently lifted her from my chest.
"Haylea...I can't do this right now."
"What? Kurt, what is wrong with you?"
"There's nothing wrong with me."
"The moment you got here," she moved back and sat on her knees, "it's like you're not the same person. You are more concerned about these people and making sure that you're always doing the right thing by them. You haven't even looked at me since we've been in here."
"I'm making sure that everyone survives."
"Everyone is fine. They can take care of themselves," I could hear how upset she was. Like she had been holding this in for a while now.
"Then why do they keep coming to me for help? They need me, Haylea."
"I need you! Do you understand that? I need you, Kurt. I was your fiancé in another life. I'd like to think that still stands for something in this life."
I leaned up and moved in front of her. I reached down and held her hands and looked into her eyes.
"Of course, it does. I love you, Haylea. You are my fiancé and as God is my witness, you will be my wife. I promise you. I love you so much."
I couldn't tell if she was convinced or sad to hear what I had just said. She blinked slowly and a tear didn't fall. She smiled and wiped her eyes dry. She looked away from me and I could tell that she was collecting her thoughts. She always thought things through before she said something.
We were different in that sense. I was a speak before I think person and she was a think before speaking girl. Sometimes it got us into trouble. When we would have arguments, I would speak with instincts and say what I was feeling and she would have to take a step back and collect her thoughts and it would bug me. In the heat of an argument, she'd take thirty seconds to think about what she wanted to say but it would feel like a couple of hours and it would frustrate me and make our fights worse.
"Prove it," she said softly.
"What?"
"Prove that you love me."
"Haylea...I... I can't. Not now."
That ended our conversation. All she did was nod with terrible dissatisfaction in me. She let go of my hands and then ran her finger through my hair and tried to smile at me, but it was phony. She lied down and put her back to me. I couldn't even look at her. I definitely couldn't speak to her. I could almost feel her heart breaking. I could feel her faith in us slowly disappearing, but still I couldn't fight for it.
I grabbed my pants and pulled them over my ankles and up to my waist as I stood up. I picked my shirt up off the ground and looked at her one last time before I left the room.
That was one of those moments in life when you have an outer body experience and actually watch yourself screwing something up. When you can see yourself making every wrong move, but can't do anything to stop yourself. It is the purest definition of regret that there is.
I closed the door gently behind me and didn't even want to think about how sad Haylea was at that moment. I felt like crying, or at least tearing up, but had absolutely no emotion inside. For the first time since we had been in WTIX, I was giving myself a self-evaluation and I was failing. I felt numb. I was lifeless and hopeless. I think as much as I was hopeful for our savior to come, for this entire catastrophe to pass us by and we'd soon be back to our regular lives...I don't think I truly believed it.
I was fighting for a purpose that would never come. No matter how many prayers we said as a group, no matter how many times I ignored Jack's ignorance and actually did the right thing, bad things were coming. Nick
was gone, Joe was dead, Sam was sick, an 8-year-old boy was sick. Nothing was going our way and I only feared that things were going to get worse.
Not only was this how our lives were going to be for the rest of our lives...but I was so scared, yet so certain, that not everybody was going to survive.
XLIII
Scott Daugherty
I was beginning to get into a habit of doing building checks before bed. It was a point to me that this was becoming my life. That this building was becoming our home and I was in charge of the building. A habit is a routine. Routine was everyday life and us being inside this building was becoming normal, everyday life.
That probably should have bothered me, but it didn't. It wasn't a concrete fact that we were going to spend the rest of our lives inside WTIX, but if it was, I'd be completely okay with that. This was my building. My baby. I was given the keys to this place months ago. It was put into my care and I kept it alive even after that apocalypse. I had a group of fifteen people surviving in here and it is all because I kept it in good standards to be our home.
I didn't have too many checks to go through. I made sure that both doors were secured shut and that the few windows that could open were closed. I checked the generator to make sure that it was still running correctly. There was a small gauge on it and the total power needed to be anywhere from 85%-100%. If it was under or over those numbers, we had a problem. If it was under 85, it most likely meant that something in the building wasn't running correctly. It could be the air conditioning, the electricity, or the ventilation system. If the power was over 100, it meant the system was overheating and would probably lead to every system in the building shutting down.
I got a late start doing my routine checks. I was a little taken back by the death of Joe and how we just let them go so casually. Jack had it right. He wanted the son of a bitch dead and that is what we should have done. I voted to shoot him, but it was the cowards in the group, the people like Dan, that voted against it.
Dead Last (Vol. 1): Dead Last Page 20