I felt bad at that moment because I thought the whole group was with us, but I had forgotten a couple people. Frank and Reggie weren't eating with us, but they had only been here a couple of hours so forgetting them was fine with me. But I forgot about a legit member of our group. Sam. I forgot that Sam wasn't with us and that he was still sitting in that office. He was so sick last I heard and wasn't getting any better.
That is why Emily was eating so fast. She was trying to get back to her husband. I felt terrible, but I guess it wasn't my job to keep track of everyone. It was Kurt's job, after all, as the leader of our little group.
He never went back to his table to flirt with Heather some more. He stood at the edge of the kitchen, where the tile met the carpet, and watched the whole group. Some looked back at him wondering what he was doing. Others carried on with their food and conversation, for those that were having one.
Then Frank came over to the group and said good morning to all of us. He had just come to grab some food for Reggie and was going to take it back to their bedroom. He was so worried about putting Reggie with the rest of the group in case he was infected. It was sad to see a father struggling with that, but it was the right decision. He and Sam, both, needed to be isolated from the rest of the group. He grabbed the food and left.
"Guys, umm, look, a couple of you know, but this will be news to most of you. Last night, Scott and I took Joe's body outside."
"What? You took him outside?" Molly asked. She was surprised and didn't seem happy about it.
"We didn't leave him there, Molly. This morning, I buried him. I thought it would be nice for some of us to say some words about him. We should pay our respects to Joe."
I looked back at Molly when Kurt was done talking and she seemed to be okay with that idea. It was a smart move on Kurt's part. I was upset to doubt his leadership abilities. I was wrong to doubt them. I was wrong to doubt him. He was a great leader and was our only hope at surviving.
There wasn't much at that moment. Everyone looked down at their food. Some of them ate, but most of us just wanted to keep clear of Molly's eyes. No one had anything to say. The truth was that we only knew Joe for a couple of days. And unlike some of the people inside WTIX, Joe kept to himself. He kept to Molly and the students they had with them. Nobody knew a damn thing about Joe.
"I guess I could say something," Emily spoke as she stood. "Sam was the one that was assigned to giving Molly and Joe a tour of the building. The kids wanted to know what working in TV was like and Sam was the one that was going to show them. And that is exactly how we looked at it...as an assignment. But after giving the tour, Sam really enjoyed himself."
"Elyse and I had been on a couple other tours with Sam and it was always an annoying task for him to do but being the head of the department, he had to. It was his job. But he laughed a lot that morning. He enjoyed being around Joe. Sam is good with people. He has a sense about them and he knew instantly that Joe was a great guy."
Emily slowly sat down. There wasn't an applause, there wasn't a Q&A section. Everyone remained silent. Everyone except Molly.
She started laughing. Almost hysterically. She gathered the kids up and told them to go back to their room. She stood up and watched as all the kids left.
"Molly?" Kurt said confused.
"This is a joke. None of you knew Joe. Not a single one of you can say something about him that actually means a damn thing. This isn't a show of respect to Joe. It's a fucking joke. You should all be ashamed. Don't act like you care. Don't act like you give a damn."
She walked away and left everyone speechless. She left Jack speechless. She left Kurt speechless. Molly shook her head and laughed the entire walk down the hallway until she was out of sight. I could still hear her laughter, but then it faded.
Everyone's gaze turned to Kurt. He looked embarrassed and hurt. Another one of his ideas was shot down and it was just another reason to question his leadership. I was worried that people were losing faith in him with every day that passed. It was a great idea to pay respect to Joe, but, somehow, even that blew up in his face.
I stood up and went to embrace him. I could barely get a word out before he put his hands up and blocked me away. He was now the one shaking his head at me. He walked away from us all without another word. He ran his hands through his hair and that was the last I saw of him for the rest of the day.
Travis and Jenny continued with their whispers and snickers. Jack continued to joke with Elyse. But the rest of us were quiet. Even Dan kept his mouth shut. We all finished our meals in silence.
XLVI
Jack Scoville April 20th, 9:35 p.m.
T hat may have been the first day inside WTIX that wasn't filled with some sort of drama. Sure, Kurt's funeral service went horribly wrong, which I could have predicted would be the case, but other than that it was a boring day.
I ate lunch with Elyse and Scott. I exercised in the back room. Found a sturdy pipe in the back that hung from the ceiling that was strong enough to hold my body weight. I did pull-ups and push-ups. I did some shoulder presses with a couple of heavy cameras. I wasn't afraid of breaking them because I didn't think they were going to be used again.
I ate dinner by myself. I wasn't too annoyed with anyone that day, but I wanted some peace and quiet. I wanted to clear my head and not become antsy. I was antsy. Sitting around all day with nothing to do. It was only going to be a matter of time before all of us needed some fresh air. As much as some of the people inside wanted to believe in the WTIX building, we were not going to be able to survive in here. Not for much longer.
That night was the first time we all relaxed and tried to enjoy each other's company. We exchanged stories and told jokes. There was laughter and happiness...well we were content for one evening. It was a nice change of pace to forget about the horror outside the WTIX and forget about starting over. It was just a bunch of people trying to have a good time.
"What's Chicago like?" Elyse asked me. We sat together, but it was the whole group that was together. Some sat in chairs that they pulled over from other departments. Some of us laid on the floor. Elyse and I had our backs against the walls and our legs straight out in front of us. We sat side by side rarely looking at each other when we talked.
"It's amazing. It was always busy. There was so much life in the city that you never worried about being too stressed or having too much to do. So many people base their lives around their work, but in the city, work is just a small part of life. It's an amazing place."
"Aren't the winters brutal? It's so cold."
"It's not too bad. You kind of get used to it. After a while, your body just grows numb to it."
"Well that is a bad sign," she started laughing. I laughed along with her.
"No. Not like that. The winter is one of the best times of the year. Tailgating at a Bears game or walking around downtown to a Bulls game. Ice skating and--"
"Wait a minute, you ice skate?"
"I used to do it a lot. Haven't in... wow...probably nine years."
"Why did you stop?" she asked me.
I looked up at her and she genuinely seemed so interested. Her face was stuck in a half smile and her eyes didn't look away from me. I had completely forgotten about our situation. Our conversation was normal and easy to have with each other. It was accomplishing exactly what we had set out for.
"I haven't had a reason to get back on the ice for a while. It's not really a single person hobby."
"Why haven't you had a girlfriend?"
"I could say work or trust issues, but really...honestly, I don't know. Just haven't had a girlfriend."
"Well if we ever are able to go outside...maybe we can go ice skating."
I saw a lot of hope in her eyes and behind that was infatuation. She was looking at me differently than she looked at everyone else. I don't know if she was attracted to me or less attracted to everyone else and I was all that was left.
"Elyse, you're great, but this--"
"Haha, J
ack. It's okay. I didn't mean it like that. We're all going to be together for a long time...that's all."
"Then...yes, I'd love to take you ice skating. It would be fun."
XLVII
Kurt Elkins
T he group decided that it would be best to take a night for ourselves. We weren't going to worry about the air outside. We weren't going to worry about filling in every crack of the building so that we were breathing secure air.
We even popped open a couple bottles of wine that we took from the grocery store when Scott and I made a run earlier for food. It was the perfect run. We didn't come across any stragglers. We didn't get into a car accident or have to leave somebody behind. We didn't come across a bunch of people hiding out in a hospital that were ready to jump us and tie us up. There wasn't a single problem in our run and nobody died.
I took a spot on the floor next to Haylea. We shared a bottle of wine but didn't speak too much. We actually didn't even speak to each other at first. Occasionally, we'd give a proper "yea" or laugh something off if the whole group was laughing. I realized that it wasn't going to be a very relaxing night if I don't speak to anyone...if I don't speak to my fiancé.
She was the one person that I could tell everything about. I would talk to her about problems with work when I was disgruntled about the hours I had to work or the pay that I was getting. She was there for me. I told her about my annoyance with my parents because they argued more than they should...she was there for me. She was always there for me so why not talk to her?
"I'm sorry," I said softly to her. "I'm trying to be a good person. I'm trying to be there for you, to be a good husband. I'm trying to be a good leader, but this whole thing is taking a toll on me."
"Then you need to stop. Let Jack help you. Put some of the decisions on him."
"No. I love you, but I can't do that. Everything is falling apart. This is all my fault, Haylea. I let Cam and his friends in the building. It was my decisions to tie them up and leave them here for the night. Everyone else wanted them gone, but I said I'd sleep on it. So, they broke free and killed Joe."
"I have made every wrong decision so far," my mouth move but nothing came out. I recollected my thoughts and continued, "But I am going to continue to make these decisions because I have to. They look to me. Until they tell me to stop. Until they put every decision into Jack's hands and tell me to stop, I'm going to continue to do this...hopefully, I'll get one of these right sometime."
"You will," she said to me with a smile.
I didn't want to argue with her. It was time her and I started to play on the same team. We had been enemies for too long and it was time. I smiled back at her and kissed her on the side of her head.
"You realize you called yourself my husband?"
"Did I?" I thought back and laughed a little bit.
The place got quiet for a moment. Heather came into the room and had her arm around Molly. She held up most of Molly's weight and walked slowly with her. Molly looked like she was just crying. Her eyes were heavy and she looked around the room like she was blind. She didn't look anyone in the eyes and didn't even seem to realize that we were all in the room.
They slowly sat down at the edge of the small circle we unknowingly had all made putting Molly directly in front of me. I watched her and felt so bad. Heather said hi to everyone for herself and for Molly because Molly didn't speak.
"Hi, Haylea," Heather singled out Haylea, but Haylea didn't greet her back. She smiled politely, but I could tell it wasn't real.
Molly just sat down and stared at the ground. Everyone started their conversation again. No one said anything to Molly. I think we were all a little flustered and didn't know what to say to her. What could be said?
"I'm sorry," I finally said to her. "I'm sorry about not telling you about burying him. I'm sorry I made people speak up. I should have checked with you first, Molly."
She began to speak but it was like nothing came out. She smiled, but didn't make eye contact with me. We all watched her with such fascination. Heather continued to hold her hand and rub the back of it and I think it was honestly helping Molly.
Finally, she looked up to me and said, "You did a good thing, Kurt. I'm sorry that I got upset with you."
"It's okay," I said. I was silent for the next few minutes taking a couple sips from the bottle of Moscato. I wasn't sure if I wanted to bring this up now, but I figured that it would take her mind of off things.
"You know...you were my third-grade teacher," I said to her.
I waited a few moments for a reaction and was pleasantly surprised when she shot me a smile.
"I remember quite well, Kurt."
"What? Why didn't you say anything before hand?" Haylea asked.
"I guess it was another bad choice that I made. I didn't think getting too attached with old memories was necessary. Now I see it is probably the best thing for us."
"You're doing fine," Molly said.
"I'm sorry?"
"You're doing fine. There isn't a person in this building who can make the decisions that you've been making. Sure, we have a select few who think they can, but that is only because they don't have to. They are voicing their opinions because that is exactly what they are; opinions. You're making the decisions, not them. If it was them, they wouldn't be so quick to judge you."
"I've watched you since the moment you came back to us. You risked your life to step outside just to get back to your fiancé. You've risked your life for us. You've made decisions that had to be made. They may not have necessarily been the right ones looking back, but we never knew that at the time. I'm proud of the man you've turned into, Kurt. Back when you were in my class, I never thought in a million years that we'd be stuck in this predicament. I can’t say I saw that coming, but I’m very glad to be stuck in here with you."
It was very humbling to hear that. I think that speech was exactly what I needed to hear. To hear someone speak of me so positively, especially someone that has just been through something so traumatic on account of the decisions I've been making, was really something. She still had faith in myself and I think at that point I realized that a lot of the group still had faith in me, but I was the one that needed to have faith in myself.
"Would you excuse us for a moment?" I asked. I held Haylea's hand and pulled her to her feet. Before leaving, I stepped over to Molly and took her hand, "Thank you so much."
Then I grabbed Haylea's hand and walked her down the hallway back into the office bedroom that we had made for ourselves. When we got into the room, I closed the door behind me and flipped off the lights.
"What are you doing, Kurt?" she asked me.
"I am going to lead these people, okay? As long as they continue to look to me, I am going to lead them to safety and I will not rest until I'm dead...but with that said, I am yours. I will always be yours and I will always be here for you. I love you and nothing is ever going to change that, nobody is ever going to change that."
I pulled her into my body and kissed her passionately. I gently put my hands up to her face and felt the smoothness of her cheek. I slid my hands down her arms and squeezed her hands before I found my way to the bottom of her shirt. I could feel her lips curl up into a smile as she kissed me. I lifted her shirt up and over her head. My hand found their way to the sides of her body. Her skin was warm and soft. I felt her hands begin to life my shirt off and now it was me that was beginning to smile.
Once my shirt was off, she quickly went after my belt and pulled it completely out of my jeans. Then with her hands, and also her feet, she pulled at my jeans and ripped them off like she was in some sort of a race.
I laid down on the home-made bed and pulled her down on top of me...
XLVIII
Jack Scoville
I t was beginning to turn into a nice evening, that is until Molly came out to join the group. Once she was out there, everything grew quiet and uncomfortable. Nobody could have the same amounts of fun because we all felt it would be dis
respecting Molly and Joe's memory. Shouldn't we have been sad and upset about Joe's death and not sitting around joking, laughing, and drinking?
We all grew a little quieter and it made it easy to hear the other's conversations. I heard Molly. I heard everything she was saying to Kurt. He was in her third-grade class, and she thought he was the best leader in the group. Not only that, though, but she thought he was the only leader in the group. She couldn't see that he was making all the wrong decisions. She couldn't see that if it wasn't for Kurt, Joe would still be alive.
I didn't want the others to know that I had drove out last night and killed Cam and his other friends. If there was one point, though, when I wanted to blurt it out, it was that night. I wanted them all to know that if I was their leader, there wouldn't be any more problems. I would take care of everything and we would all remain safe. We wouldn't be dying one by one.
"Excuse me, Jack," Emily was standing off to the side.
"Yea?"
"Would you mind if I could have a word with my daughter?"
Elyse looked at me kind of surprised and I had the same feeling. I didn't understand why Emily was talking to me in such a rude manner. It was like she was telling me to stay away from her daughter. I thought it was a little harsh and would appreciate it if Emily would just tell me how she felt. I didn't like when people beat around the bush. Just tell me how it is and I'll respect you a little more.
"No, that's fine. Everything okay?" I asked.
"Everything is fine. I'd just like to talk to my daughter."
Elyse began to stand up, but I made it to my feet quicker. I didn't want to be punked by Emily and watch them walk away while she gave a lecture to her daughter. I walked away from Emily, but not before giving her one last look that she was out of line.
I went around to the news department and looked through the equipment. I hadn't really had the chance to browse through things. I had no interest in television or the equipment used to make it work, but it was kind of cool to see some of the things that went into putting shows on the air.
Dead Last (Vol. 1): Dead Last Page 22