I wrap my arms around his neck and press my lips to his and then whisper in his ear for only him to hear, “We can do spring. April or May, but let’s see how things go.”
He chuckles before lifting me off my feet and spinning me around.
“You’re gonna be the death of me, woman.”
“’Til death do us part,” I tease while he laughs and presses a quick kiss on my lips.
Three Weeks Later
“Mom! When is everyone getting here?” Logan shouts from the loft upstairs.
The second level has an open space where you can see down to the main floor. Logan seems to love that about our new home since it saves him time, not having to come down the stairs to find me and ask me questions every two minutes. I shake my head and smile while I place the turkey in the oven to cook for the next six hours or so. After Gavin’s proposal, he let us know that we were moving in right away and that we would be hosting Christmas here. I was a little nervous, as we had a lot to do, but that didn’t seem to worry Gavin since everyone helped us move in. Momma B and Ash helped me with cleaning up the place and Gavin and Hunter got the furniture in place. We did have to buy a few new things, such as a modern bedroom set for Logan, a living room set, and a new bedroom set for our master suite. In only over two weeks, we had everything moved in and settled. Having a family to lean on was terrific.
“Bubba, what have I said about shouting from the second floor?” I say as I make my way up the stairs to meet him.
Zeus is lying down at the top of the steps while Logan is coloring in his new Christmas book. I sit next to Zeus while rubbing his furry head. He moves closer and places his head in my lap. I love you, boy.
“Sorry, Mom. I just really want to finish this picture so I can put it in Mr. Henderson’s card,” he answers sheepishly.
“You have plenty of time to finish before everyone arrives. It’s only ten in the morning. Dinner is at six o’clock. Everyone will be arriving around five,” I explain to him.
“Great!”
“Do you want to take a break and stretch your legs outside with me for a bit before Momma has to start cooking up a storm in the kitchen?” I smile at him. He drops his crayons and jumps to his feet.
“Yes! Can Zeus come with us? Please!” he begs.
Silly child.
“Yes, Zeus can come, too.”
“Woohoo!”
“Don’t forget to put on your turtleneck and grab your snowsuit. It’s pretty cold out,” I yell out, but he’s already in his room getting changed. “I’ll meet you downstairs, Bubba.”
“I’ll be right there!”
I shake my head and look down at Zeus. “You wanna come and keep us company, boy?” He lets out a bark and then licks my face.
“I love you, boy. Always.” I rub him some more before we make our way downstairs.
The tree we picked out sits tall in the great room, between the fireplace and the windows. We decorated it with white lights, snowflakes, candy canes, small and large balls, red, blue, and gold ones, and for the very top, Logan picked out a beautiful white angel.
“I miss you every day. I hope you’re proud of the choices I’ve made, and that you’re okay with Logan calling me Mom. Thank you for guiding me into Watermount Falls and for the family that we now call our own. I love you so much, Mom,” I whisper as the tears slip down my cheek quietly.
“I have no doubt that she is proud of the woman you have become, and of how you protect and love her little boy.” Gavin slips his arms around me from behind and rests his chin on my shoulder. I turn in his arms to face him.
“Thank you for never giving up on me. On us,” I say while pressing my lips to his.
“Never.” He nips and licks my lips, trying to seek entrance. He coaxes me some more before I open for him, and then we duel, wanting and needing to get closer to each other. I never want to go without this, ever. I need this man like I need to breathe.
“I’m ready!” Logan yells while making his way down the stairs and interrupting our moment.
“Tonight, you’re mine, babe. All night,” Gavin whispers against my lips.
I nip his lips then smile. “Can’t wait,” I tease and head toward the entrance of the great room and open the door for Zeus and Logan to head out first. I look back and catch Gavin just staring, not making any move to join us.
“What?” I question.
“I can never get enough of watching Logan smiling and excited, for just being outside with Zeus. “Even if it is twenty below zero.”
I laugh at that and look back outside as Logan chases Zeus in what seems to be at least seven inches of snow. It’s a perfect view. “I want to get married here. In our home.” I look back to Gavin, and his expression tells me he doesn’t quite believe me.
“Here? What about the fancy halls you were looking at?” he questions while closing the small gap between us.
“You mean the fancy halls Ash was looking at? I love Ash, but she knows I am not into fancy things. I just want something simple and memorable, and right here is the perfect place.” I smile up at him as he meets me halfway with his lips.
“Anything you want, beautiful, I’ll make it happen.”
“Just you is fine with me.”
We laugh as Logan yells for us to hurry up and come outside. We spend the next half hour playing in the snow until I have to call it quits and head back to the kitchen to start on our first of many Christmas dinners.
Five Months Later
For the last five days, I have been a nervous wreck. Today is finally Gavin’s and my wedding day. I’m excited and so happy but I am also a ball of nerves. What if, in a few months or weeks, Gavin regrets tying himself to me? To Logan? Ugh! I haven’t slept in days, and as much as I try and talk myself out of these thoughts, I know Gavin senses something is off with me. Last night, Gavin brought it up, and I assured him that I was okay, just nervous about the big day and making sure everyone will have a good time and that we don’t forget anything. I know he didn’t buy it, but he didn’t insist. Ash and Momma B came over early this morning to help me get ready, and to distract me before the big moment.
“You wanna share what’s on your mind, baby girl?” Momma B asks as we sit out on the patio, just outside our bedroom suite, and sip on our coffees.
I look up from my mug and realize both Momma B and Ash are watching me intently. Ugh! Might as well come out with it.
“I, ugh, I don’t even know what to say,” I reply, frustrated with my nervousness.
“You think Gavin is making a mistake,” Momma B bluntly states.
“Umm…yeah,” I whisper, embarrassed. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I know Gavin loves me and would be utterly crushed if, even for just a second, he knew I doubted his feelings toward me. He has done everything to prove to me that he doesn’t want to let me go and wants to spend his life with me.
“Baby girl, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. It is completely normal to have cold feet and to feel nervous on the big day. I will tell you something though. That man would walk through a fire, or even a hurricane, to get to you and Logan.” I smile at her words and wipe the treacherous tears that come running down my cheeks.
After Momma B and Ash give me their pep talk, I feel a lot better about our big day. So, why am I still looking to escape? No, I need to stop it! I just wish my mom were here.
I’m standing in front of our wall-length mirror in my wedding gown. It’s simple. I’ve never been much for fluffiness and princess type dresses. It has spaghetti straps with a sweetheart shaped bust. It hugs my silhouette until mid-thigh and then flares out, creating a beautiful long train. My back is completely bare, with only a small amount of see-through fabric that has a few rhinestones sewed into petal shapes. The texture of the dress is something called crepe; Ash helped me pick it and was all about the style and material. To me, it is all nonsense. It is simple, beautiful, and elegant all in one, and Gavin will love seeing me in it. Yet, you are freaking out that he is ma
king a mistake. Not helping! There’s a soft knock on the door before it opens slightly.
“Bailey?” Hunter’s voice comes through the open space, but he remains behind the door.
“You can come in, Hunter.” I turn toward the door and watch him come in and close the door behind him, ensuring no one can peek. He’s carrying an old shoebox in his hands.
“Wow, Bailey, you look beautiful.” He looks star struck. Ash fixed my hair, along with my makeup. She straightened it and added a few curls to the ends and clipped the left side to the back. Ash kept my makeup light, only focusing on my eyes. She did a smoky eye look, making my green eyes pop, and used a nude, pinkish color on my lips.
“Thank you.” I know my cheeks are warming up just at that small amount of attention.
“I won’t be long, as I know we’re just about to start and Ash will come looking for me.” He steps closer to me and extends the box in his hands. I raise a brow in question before taking it from him.
“It’s from Gavin. He told me to tell you that everything in that box should put your nerves and doubts about his feelings at ease,” he says with a knowing smirk.
I’m shocked at his comment. I’m about to ask how he could have known when Hunter beats me to it.
“He knows you a lot better than you think, Bailey. I’ll see you out there in a few. Just don’t make him wait too long. He’s a bigger mess of nerves than you are, baby girl.” With that, he leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead and then whispers, “I’ve never seen him this happy and excited about life. Not since before Travis died. You made him want to live again. Thank you.” He quietly steps out of the room and closes the door behind him, leaving me utterly speechless.
I shake myself of the shock and sit on the side of our king-sized bed and open the box. I don’t know if I want to laugh or cry at the things I find in there. There are tons of pictures of Logan, Gavin, Zeus, and me. From our dinner nights at my old apartment, our trip out to the lake, from when Gavin proposed, thankfully, someone caught a picture of that moment, Christmas, and Logan’s birthday just last month. There are even a few trinkets, such as the Frisbee we bought on our way to the lake so Logan could toss to Zeus, some of the ornaments from our Christmas tree, and even a dried lily from the first bouquet he bought me for our first official date alone. I’m trying really hard not to cry and mess up Ash’s work, but I just can’t keep the tears at bay any longer. As I look through the pictures, I find a few letters with my name and dates on them. I find one with the date he proposed, but as I pick it up, underneath, I find one that was written yesterday. I drop the one in my hand and unfold the one he wrote last night.
Mrs. McKnight,
I know something is up with you, and I know it’s not just nerves about our big day. I know you, baby, and I know when you’re hiding something. I hate it, but I understand. I know you wish your mom were here so she could ease your doubts and fears, but since she isn’t, I’m sending you this box and this letter to shush all those damn doubts that have been screaming in your pretty little head for the past few days.
Since the moment you agreed to have dinner with me, I have been entirely owned by you: your personality, your strength, and your love. You are my inspiration, beautiful. I wake up every morning and thank my brother and your mom for sending you to me, and that they protected you when I couldn’t.
I love you, Bailey. I could only love you. My life is what it is because you and Logan are in it. And Zeus.
I promise you, babe, I will spend the rest of our lives, starting today, showing you that you are all I ever want and that you are who I will always love in this life and in the next. I will always find you, and I will always fight to keep you.
I’ll see you at the altar. I’ll be the handsome one in the suit. Don’t make me wait too long. You know I’ll come find you.
Love you in this life & the next,
Mr. McKnight
I fold up his letter and press it against my chest while I try to control the tears streaming down my chin. I love you, Gavin. So very much. I take a few deep breaths when there’s another knock on the door and Ash slips in quickly.
“I knew it! He just had to send you something that was going to mess up my artwork! I could throat punch him!” Ash practically yells as she hustles, gathering her makeup kit and begins to touch up said artwork.
“Don’t be mad.” I smile through my tears as I place the lid back on the box and leave it on our bed while Ash touches up what my tears ruined.
“As long as whatever he sent you put you at ease and ensured that neither of you is making a mistake and are perfect for each other, I won’t be mad. If it wasn’t, then I’m seriously going to throat punch him.” I giggle at her endearment and, at the same time, her hostility. That is just Ash, and I wouldn’t have her any other way.
“I love him in this life and the next,” I whisper, more to myself, but she catches it and raises an eyebrow in confusion.
“He wrote that to me,” I softly explain, still trying to rein in my emotions while she gives me such a big smile it has her eyes twinkling.
“You deserve all this, Bailey. You both deserve each other, and to love and be loved. Don’t ever doubt the people who love you and want to protect you. We would never hurt you or Logan.”
I feel the tears fill my eyes at her words while trying my hardest to hold them off from breaking free.
“You just fixed my makeup.” We both laugh and then wrap each other in a tight hug.
“I love you, Ash. Always,” I whisper.
“Right back atcha.”
Just as we pull apart, another knock sounds at the door and a very excited Logan and Zeus come running inside, followed by Mr. Henderson.
“Mom! You look…you look like a princess.” Logan stops short in front of me, and I bend at the waist to look him in the eye.
“Thank you, Bubba. You look like a prince in your suit.” I lightly kiss his forehead.
“Gavin is your prince, Mom.” He laughs while Zeus tries to get in the middle for some love.
“You ready, sweetheart?” Mr. Henderson steps closer to us. He looks very handsome in his navy blue suit.
“You clean up good, Mr. Henderson.” I step closer to him and he places my right hand through his left arm.
“You look priceless, Bailey. Beautiful as ever.” I lean in and kiss his wrinkled cheek.
“All right! Let’s get this party started before caveman comes breaking down the door. Here is your bouquet, and Logan, you take Zeus and let everyone know that the queen is coming out,” Ash instructs.
Logan runs toward the bedroom door, laughing, while Zeus stops at my side. I give him a good head rub and then he is off to find his best pal.
This is it, Mom. I hope you’re watching from above. I love you.
Chapter Forty
Gavin
I’m pacing back and forth like a caged wild animal. Bailey has five minutes before I will go to get her, I don’t give a shit about Ash’s stupid theory about the groom not seeing his bride before the wedding. I know she has doubts. It has been written all over her face these past few days. I had planned to ease her fears and doubts this morning, but when I woke up, my fiancée had vanished, and in her place was a written letter by Ash stating she had taken her and that Hunter would be by to get me ready. I just want to see my woman.
“Stop pacing like a damn animal. She’s not going anywhere. She loves you.” Hunter grabs me by the shoulders firmly and gives me a bit of a shake.
Fuck!
“What is taking so damn long?” I readjust my tie for the fifth time.
“You’ll have to give her another ten minutes since I just handed her your package.” He smirks.
Okay, that’s good. When she sees our memories of nearly a year and reads the letter from last night, she’s going to realize that she’s it for me, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make her see that. Beginning with her wedding present.
“Do you have her wedding gift?” I ask him as
I look toward the house, waiting for her to appear.
We set up the back of the house with white chairs and wrapped see-through gold ribbon to their backs. They are facing the willow tree, where we have set up an altar with an arch of white lilies. This is where we will be exchanging vows and Bailey will become officially bound to me for life. We also added a few lights on some of the branches, and created a path of white rose petals from the back door of the house to the altar. It’s simple and perfect, just the way Bailey wanted.
We kept the guest list to our immediate family: Mr. Henderson, Momma B, Uncle Marcus and his wife, Ash, Hunter, Mick and his wife, Carson and his old lady, Stella and Kyle, and a few of my long-time clients. Since my father pretty much disowned me, and mother has never been the same since Travis passed, I invited them but didn’t want to push her and cause issues for her with my father. My mother knows where to find me, and when she’s good and ready to stand up to my father, I know she’ll come to me. I do have one family member here. When I first made it up to the altar, I saw the first chair of the aisle with a picture of Travis, dressed in his army suit, smiling big and pointing a finger right at me. The frame was engraved with: I’m with you every day. In this life and the next. It was all Hunter’s doing and I can definitely man up and say it choked me up a bit.
“Right here, inside my jacket pocket.” He pats his chest and winks.
Okay, everything is set and ready. Just waiting on my wife. Damn, the caveman in me definitely loves the sound of that. I take another couple of deep breaths before the back door opens and I see Logan running up the rose petal path with Zeus hot on his tail.
“She’s ready!”
Thank fuck! I let out an exaggerated breath and bend down to adjust Logan’s bowtie.
“You ready for this, bud?” I ask him.
“Yes!” He high fives me, and then I straighten back up and look toward the back of the house, and that’s when it happens. Everything around me disappears and becomes ever so quiet. All that’s left are the white rose petals making a path to me, the willow tree, and twinkling lights. Bailey slowly makes her way up the trail of petals with Mr. Henderson, and I swear it’s as if I’m seeing her for the very first time. Gorgeous. When she reaches me, Mr. Henderson turns to her and gives her a light kiss before turning to me and asking me to take good care of her. I only manage to nod and shake his hand in return before I’m facing the one person who has the power to shatter me and put me back together.
Just Breathe Page 19