by Sophie Stern
All of him.
I want him naked and I want to climb all over him. I want to lick him and touch him and tease him, and I want, more than anything else, for him to feel good when he’s with me. Neil hasn’t exactly had an easy go of things. His life has been rough. He’s had things stolen from him: his hope, his reputation, his future. He had five years of his damn life taken away, but he’s still here standing.
And I kind of want, just for a little bit, to help him forget about all of that.
So tonight is the night I’m going to decide to be brave. I’m going to be a little wild. I’m going to be everything he needs because tomorrow is a long way away. Tomorrow we can worry about everything else that’s bothering us. Right now, I just want to be with him.
“Neil,” I murmur, and then his lips come crashing onto mine. I’ve never been the kind of person to rush into anything, but right now, I can’t imagine anywhere else I’d rather be. I’m going to rush my heart out if it means we can keep kissing like this, and touching, and being together.
This is wonderful to me, perfect, and suddenly, I feel like my entire world is spinning.
He pulls me into his arms and kisses me over and over again. He kisses me with a thirst, with a hunger that I’ve never felt before. Maybe it’s because it’s been awhile for him or maybe it’s because he’s really, really into me. I don’t know.
All I know is that right now, everything feels incredible.
Right now, everything feels like it’s going to be just fine.
“Wait a minute,” he says suddenly, and pulls away. He moves over to the kitchen stove and turns off the burners and shuts off the oven. Then he comes back. “Safety first,” he grins, and then he lifts me into his arms.
Somehow, when I’m in Neil’s arms, I feel like I’m so light that I could be a damn butterfly. He carries me out of the kitchen and to the staircase. Then we move up, up, up. He brings me into the guest room.
“Not my room?” I ask, surprised.
“The light is better in this room,” he says.
The light?
So he wants to see me?
That makes me feel incredible, actually. It makes me feel really wonderful and fantastic and honestly, kind of damn sexy. He wants to see me.
He wants to touch me and look at me and feel me and oh, that’s really the best feeling in the world.
Neil lays me down on the bed and looks down at me. Then he slowly – painfully slowly – starts undressing himself. It’s the most erotic, incredible thing I’ve ever experienced before in my life.
I want more of this.
I want more of him.
Somehow, I get the feeling that being with Neil is going to be unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before in my life.
He pulls his shirt off and tosses it to the floor. His pants follow, and then he’s in his boxers in front of me.
“Yes or no, Finley?” He asks, looking at me. “Should I take the boxers off? It’s all up to you. I want you, cupcake, but if you aren’t ready, I’ll go back downstairs and finish cooking and we can cool off. No hard feelings.”
He looks at me calmly, matter-of-factly. This isn’t his first rodeo, and he’s no stranger to hardship or pain, but he’s not pressuring me. I kind of totally, completely respect that. He’s not giving me a hard time and he’s not trying to hurt me or make me feel unwanted in any way.
He just wants me to know that no matter what I’m feeling, those emotions are valid, and everything is going to be okay.
No matter what.
“Yes,” I whisper.
It’s not a hard question.
The word comes out breathlessly, eagerly, and he pushes the boxers down. I gasp when I see it. I probably shouldn’t have. After all, it’s not like I haven’t seen a penis before. Damn, though. Neil’s cock is kind of beautiful, and I squirm off the bed and fall to my knees in front of him. I look up at him and then I open my mouth.
He raises an eyebrow, but doesn’t protest. He just steps forward a little bit, offering me his dick, and I take him in my mouth.
He fills me up and I close my eyes as I start sucking, teasing. I want to worship this guy’s cock. I want him to feel half as wonderful as he made me feel when he got me off. No, that’s not quite right. I want him to feel twice as wonderful.
He made me feel like a damn queen and I want to repay that favor no matter what it takes.
He thrusts slowly into my mouth, and I take everything he’s willing to offer me. He seems to grow even thicker and harder – is that possible? – but soon, he pulls away and shakes his head.
“If you keep that up, I’m going to come right now,” he chuckles. “And I want to be inside of you, Finley.”
He tugs me to my feet and starts pulling my own clothes off.
“You know, I had a lot of time to think in prison,” he says, unbuttoning my shirt. “And I always wondered what your lovely breasts actually looked like.”
“Really?”
“Truly.”
“And?” I hold my breath.
I don’t know what he’s going to say next, but I want to know. Oh, I want to know exactly what he’s going to tell me.
He finishes unbuttoning my blouse and slides it off. I’m standing in front of him in only my bright blue bra and matching skirt. I probably shouldn’t dress in such bright colors for work, but I like bright colors. They make me feel happy.
“Lovely,” he says, and he rubs my bra with the back of his hand. I close my eyes and try not to purr like a damn kitten.
Oh, it’s hard not to start purring.
I love the way he’s touching me.
I love this.
Everything about what’s happening is wonderful to me, and perfect, and magical. He touches me over and over again, and finally, he steps closer, reaches behind me, and unclasps my bra. He kisses my neck as my bra slides to the floor, and somehow, his hands find their way to my breasts. He bounces them neatly, gently, sweetly, and then he finally steps back and looks at them.
“Perfect,” he murmurs. “Absolutely perfect.”
I want this moment to last forever.
I love exactly what he’s doing to me and I want so much more.
“You forgot to take off my skirt,” I whisper.
“Oh, how silly of me,” he says. He reaches for my hips and gently turns me around so my back is to him. Then he runs his fingers down my spine and to the top of my skirt. I feel him reach for the zipper, and he tugs on it slowly. Then he pulls it down, down, down.
He reaches for my hips and tugs the skirt down. When it reaches my ankles, he tells me to step out of it, and I do. I start to turn around, but he holds my hips in place and stops me.
“Not yet,” he whispers. “Don’t move.”
He walks to my window and tugs the shade so that it opens. Light spills into the room. Okay, so he was totally right about this room having better lighting than my bedroom. Score one for Neil. My own room is nice, but the window is a little more narrow, and there’s a tree right outside, so it really doesn’t have a lot of light in there.
Even though the sun is starting to set, the room is almost completely lit up, and I know that he’s got a great view of my backside.
What’s he going to do next?
I half-expect him to push me forward on the bed and start spanking me, but that’s not what he does. Nope. Not this guy. Instead, I hear him kneel down behind me.
“Neil?” I whisper.
What’s he doing?
“Such a pretty bottom,” he says, and then he slides my panties down. This time, he doesn’t tell me to step out of them, and I don’t. I just stand perfectly still as he rubs his hands up and down my thighs and over my ass. Then I feel him kissing me tenderly, softly, gently.
He slides his hands up my thighs again and this time, he rubs his hand between my legs. I spread them just a little so he has more space, and I close my eyes as he teases me. He runs his fingers over me, dipping them inside of me, filling me.
I know perfectly well that I’m soaked.
Like, I’m so far beyond soaked that I don’t even know what’s going on.
“I think you like this, Finley,” he murmurs.
“I do.”
“I can tell. You’re so wet.”
Then he spins me around and suddenly, his mouth is on my pussy and he’s licking me like he was made to do this. He tastes me and teases me and presses his lips on me over and over. The orgasm that washes over me is unlike anything I’ve ever felt before, and it’s all I can do to keep from screaming.
How the hell is he working his magic on me like this?
And more importantly: how come I’ve never felt anything like this before?
I close my eyes and just let the pleasure wash over me. Just as the orgasm ends, he lifts me to the bed and climbs over me. I’m lying there on my back and he moves carefully kissing up my body: my hips, my belly, my breasts. When he reaches my mouth, he starts kissing me over and over, dominating me, taking care of me.
And then he’s at my entrance.
He pauses there, looking at me.
“I don’t have a condom,” he says, suddenly nervous, and I appreciate what he’s doing so very much.
“I’m on the pill,” I tell him. “I’m clean.”
“Me too,” he says, but he still waits, silently questioning whether this is something I’m comfortable with, and I nod.
“Please,” I say.
“Please what?”
“Fuck me, please,” I whisper, flushing with excitement and embarrassment and arousal. I’ve never been quite this open with a guy before. I’ve never been quite so blunt as to just say what I want, but it feels pretty damn good. It feels freeing to just be able to tell him what I need, and to know that he’s not going to judge me for what I’m saying or asking for.
He thrusts inside of me, filling me up, and I close my eyes.
Fuck.
Me.
Silly.
I realize it’s been awhile since I’ve been with someone, but what he’s doing feels more wonderful than anything else I’ve ever really experienced. He makes love to me like he truly understands, like he’s somehow already a master of my body, and I reach for him, pulling him closer.
He kisses me as he thrusts in and out of my body, touching me as he makes love to me here in the middle of the guest room bed.
I never really expected Neil Coleman, of all people, to walk back into my life.
I definitely never expected to have him fucking me bareback in my damn house.
Somehow, all of my expectations seem to be unnecessary when it comes to Neil, and yet he exceeds every single one.
When he comes, he murmurs my name against my mouth, and his entire body shudders and shakes. He groans loudly, and it’s just about the hottest thing I’ve ever felt or experienced. Then he looks up at me bashfully and smiles, grinning.
“That was….”
“Amazing.”
“That was amazing.”
Chapter Eight
Neil
The morning comes earlier than it should. I’m sore, but in all the best ways, and judging by the way Finley is wiggling around on the bed, I’m willing to stake a bet that she’s feeling a little tender herself.
“Finley?” I ask. “Are you okay?”
“Hmmm,” she murmurs.
“Sore, cupcake?”
“Mmmm,” she moans in reply and rolls over. She drapes an arm over me and wiggles close, and the sensation is so sweet and lovely and wonderful that I never want it to end. I like her. A lot. I like the way she makes me feel, and I like the way my world seems to come to life when I’m near her.
Finley is strong and sweet and wonderful, and I really don’t want to break the magic of the moment. Unfortunately, dawn has come too early, and it’s time for both of us to get up and start moving.
“Finley,” I say, kissing her. “We need to get up. Do you still want to come with me?”
“Yeah,” she says. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
We manage to pry ourselves from the bed, shower, get dressed, and eat a couple of bowls of oatmeal before we’re in her car and headed for the old mines. I’m suddenly very tense and nervous, but I don’t think that I should be.
“You seem uncomfortable,” she says.
Finley doesn’t miss a thing.
She’s observant as hell, and I’d bet money that’s probably part of what makes her such a great librarian. If someone comes in and they’re feeling nervous or anxious or like they don’t really know what book they need, I bet that she’s the kind of person who can help them find exactly what they’re looking for.
“A little.”
“It’s been a long time since you were here.”
“Not long enough,” I mutter.
“The last time I was here,” she says carefully, and her voice trails off. She doesn’t need to finish that because I’m going to guess it’s been the same amount of time since we’ve both been out here.
“You haven’t been back since it happened,” I fill in the blanks.
“Nope.”
“Why not?”
“Never needed to. It was over. Done. You were gone.”
“I was gone.”
She looks over at me. She’s driving, of course. I don’t have a license. I don’t have anything. All I have is the fact that she’s offering me her good will in taking care of me.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.”
“How’d you get it? How’d you get the mill? I heard you bought it yourself.”
“I have money, Finley.”
“What money?”
“Nosy little cupcake, are you?”
“A little.”
“My grandpa died,” I tell her. “While I was locked up. It was only six weeks ago, actually. He left me everything. My first stop was at his attorney’s office.”
“Wow. I’m sorry,” she says.
“It’s okay. He was old. He had a good life.”
That doesn’t make this any easier, though. Knowing someone lived life to the fullest doesn’t mean you stop mourning them being gone.
“He’s the one who bought it. Not me.”
“Your grandpa?”
“Yeah. My grandfather purchased it a few months ago when it went on sale. He wanted to try to prove my innocence, I suppose. Maybe. Or maybe he just didn’t think that anyone else deserved it.”
“Someone told me it only just sold.”
I shrug. Small towns are like that.
“He kept it quiet. Everything was just transferred into my name the other day, though. I’m guessing someone at the attorney’s office talked.”
“I guess so,” she shakes her head, like she can’t believe how unfair it is.
“I don’t know if he ever wandered out here,” I tell her. “He promised me he wouldn’t go.”
“We all know what promises are like,” she says carefully. “He probably had great intentions, but he could have felt tempted.”
“He was so old,” I tell her. “I was worried he was going to get hurt. I hope he listened. He was a stubborn man, though.”
“He visited you a lot, huh?”
“As much as he could.”
“What did you two like to talk about?”
“Anything and everything.”
“He kept your spirits up, huh?”
“He did. And I told him about you,” I tell her.
She blushes.
“You did?”
Of course, I did. She was the only reason I stayed sane during my time locked up. Looking forward to her letters was the highlight of every single day. I wouldn’t have been able to survive without her.
“Yeah.”
“That wasn’t weird?”
“Talking to Gramps?”
“Yeah. I mean, he didn’t think I was a stalker, did he?”
“Oh, he definitely thought you were a stalker,” I laugh,
and she blushes. Then I shake my head. “But you know, in a good way.”
“Gee, thanks,” she smirks. “I guess I was hoping I would come across as fun and interesting, not crazy and weird.”
“You didn’t come across as weird,” I tell her. “Don’t worry. Your letters meant a lot to me. You have no idea.”
“I think I have a pretty good idea,” she tells me.
I like watching her drive. I don’t have to tell her the way to the old mill. She knows how to get there perfectly well. Part of me is surprised that she remembers it, but then again, it’s the place that changed all of our lives.
She pulls off the main road and down an unmarked dirt road. Trees line either side of the road, and their branches extend over the top to form a sort of canopy. As soon as we’re on this road, the sun seems to disappear behind the leaves, and Finley turns on her headlights.
Breathe.
I have to remind myself to breathe.
It’s hard to believe that I’m back here after all of this time, and that we’re really doing this. We’re going to explore the mine and see if we can find any clues. The reality is that we probably won’t find very much.
After all, it’s been years.
I’m sure that rain and crazy weather and animals wandering around have made a huge difference in the way that the mill looks. Chances are that any evidence has long disappeared, but I have to try.
Samuel was such a good friend. It’s not fair that he died, but even more than that, it’s not fair that no one knows who killed him. I get that right now, I’m the scape goat, but I want justice. I want everyone to know who actually killed him, and I want everyone to know why.
I want to know why, too.
She slows down the car as reach a locked gate.
“Hang on,” I say. “I’ve got the keys.”
I jump out of the car, hurry up to the gate, and slide the worn key into the rusty lock. My grandfather bought this place to help me have a chance, I realize. I hope he never actually came out here, but I’m damn grateful he felt it a good idea to buy it. Gramps was a good man, and he has no idea just how helpful it is to be able to come out here and wander around without anyone causing trouble or giving us a hard time.