by Geoff Wolak
* * *
‘Police! Hello? My name is Stella Graf, come quick, someone has filled my house with concrete!
What? No, I did not order the concrete.
Workmen, no - listen - the concrete is inside my house. I cannot go into the house, the doors and windows they are solid.
Yes, I have my door key.
You do not understand, my house, it has been destroyed.
No, it is still standing.
No, I am not lying.
No, not vandalised. Concrete. Concrete!
What, complain about the workmen? There are no workmen!
What? Ask the workmen to return? Are you crazy, my house is ruined!
Legal action? Trading standards bureau? No! I don’t want to complain, I want the police.
I know police cannot be involved in poor building work.
What, am I related to Helmut Graf? Yes, I have a cousin by that name.
Ask him about it?
Hello? Hello?’