It was Saturday, and we’d just gotten off the Metrolink train to see the Hollywood Wax Museum. We stepped onto Hollywood Boulevard, crowded with people and known as a hot spot for tourists. We strolled along in no particular hurry, taking stock of everything around us.
Tank had initially said no when he caught wind of our plans, but Tizzy pleaded with him, saying she’d never had the chance to do anything like this before. She wanted to see some of L.A. before she returned home. He’d finally agreed, but only because he knew I would look out for her.
“This isn’t exactly what I pictured Hollywood looking like,” Tizzy said, glancing around skeptically. “Are you sure we’re in the right place?”
“Yep. A lot of people outside of California think of Hollywood as a glamorous or upscale location, but it’s neither of those.”
“Yeah, I’m not getting the old Hollywood vibe right now.”
“Every city has an old part of town that used to be amazing in its glory days. Hollywood was like that at one time. Maybe in the golden years it was something special, but now it’s more of a tourist hangout and a place for eccentric people to gather.”
She looked this way and that as if soaking it in, trying to make sense of it all. There were tons of shops and signs and street noises. At night everything was lit up, but the crowd was a lot rougher.
A man dressed in a baby diaper, bib, and a big bow on his head crawled through the crosswalk, a leash around his neck, and another man was walking him as if he were a dog. Even someone like me, who’d seen my fair share of outrageous, couldn’t help but gape at the two men.
“What is going on there?” Tizzy asked, just as stunned as I was.
“They don’t call it ‘Hollyweird’ for nothing. You’ll find some strange characters out here. Some want the attention, and others…that’s how they are.”
“Does he really think he’s a baby?”
“I don’t know. Would you like to ask him?”
She giggled. “I’ll pass.”
A couple walked by, dressed in all black with white powdered faces and gobs of black eyeliner, bringing with them a skunky scent that wafted through the air.
Once they were out of hearing distance, Tizzy leaned in. “What was that smell? It was awful.”
“Marijuana.”
Her eyes widened. “You think they were smoking it?”
“Most likely. I would know that scent anywhere.”
Her lips tightened. “Is that something you’ve done before?”
I lowered my head and stared at the ground for a few seconds. “Yeah, in the past, before I became a Christian. I’m not proud of it. I haven’t done it in a long time, and I would never do it again.”
She had an uneasy expression on her face that made me pull back a little. She cleared her throat and glanced at me. “I’m sorry, but I can’t imagine being with someone who did drugs. There’s enough information out there on the side effects and how it affects your body. Being in an altered state can cause you to do things you wouldn’t normally do. There’s just no excuse.”
“Tizzy…people don’t do drugs because they think it will make them healthier. They don’t care if what they’re doing is wrecking their bodies. The whole point is that life is hard, and they need something to get through it.”
“Is that how you felt when you did it?”
I nodded, taking her by the elbow and moving her to the side as a group of rowdy teens ran by. “I just wanted an escape, a way to cope. Every day I would wake up and have this pain in my gut that wouldn’t go away no matter how many anti-acids I took. I know I told you I coped okay while I was in the Marines. It’s true, but there were times when I remembered the names and faces of people who died…and it hurt. It hurt so much, I didn’t want to feel anything anymore. When I smoked weed, it would numb the harsh realities of life, make me feel like I could handle what lay ahead.”
“You sound like you’re endorsing it or something.”
“I’m not. I’m just trying to explain to you the mindset I had. Turning to drugs is wrong—it’s destructive—and I know that.” I stopped walking and put a hand on her shoulder, halting her steps. “I would never do it again, but it was part of who I was. I can’t change that, and I don’t want to.”
Her eyes widened again, and she stared at me with confusion on her face. “Why would you not want—”
“Because it’s a testament to all that Christ did for me. He changed my life, Tizzy. I was heading in one direction, and His love pulled me in the other. I did a complete one-eighty. The Lord gave me a new heart…a new life.”
She touched me lightly on my arm. “I’m glad about that. I really am. It’s just…”
“What?”
“I don’t know if I can be with someone who has a past with drugs.”
I inhaled sharply and blew out the breath, trying to hold back my frustration. “You want someone who cleans up nice. The Stepford version of a man. Your very own Ken doll.” My voice trembled the slightest bit.
“You make it sound like I’m a terrible person,” she snapped. “I’m not. Sue me for having standards.”
“I’m not saying you’re terrible. Obviously, you know what you want.” And it’s not me.
“I’m sorry if what I said upset you, but I’m trying to be honest here. I’ll be the first to acknowledge that I come from a sheltered upbringing, but there are some things I don’t think I can get over.”
Many different emotions washed through me after that statement. Anger. Despair. Frustration. I couldn’t redo my past. But then I sensed the Lord tugging at me, showing me that she had every right to try to protect herself. At the same time, God could change her heart if it was His will. His grace was enough to cover this. I just needed to be patient. “We can still be friends, can’t we?”
She appeared troubled, almost distressed. “Of course. I like you a lot, Dex. When I’m with you…”
She didn’t complete the thought, and I didn’t have it in me to ask her to. You couldn’t make a person want you. I knew that only too well from experience. My father had shown many times that actions speak louder than words. You either loved someone, or you didn’t. It was that simple.
Still, I wanted her to understand where I was coming from. It felt important that she be able to grasp my mindset and heart. “Can I share something with you?”
“Sure.”
“In Luke…I think it’s chapter seven, Jesus told this story about two different men who owed debts. One owed enough money to cover a day’s wages for five hundred people, while the other owed enough to cover fifty. When neither man could pay, the lender forgave the debt for both of them. Which one do you think loved him more?”
Tizzy frowned. “That’s easy. The one who owed more.”
“Jesus said that the one who is forgiven little loves little.”
As she appeared to think about that, her face crumpled. “I don’t want to feel this way.”
“What are you feeling?”
“I’m so conflicted right now and can’t make sense of anything in the world anymore. Everything used to be clear and fit into the right boxes. Now…my entire world has been turned upside down.”
I put my arm around her and turned her to face the street. “Look at all these people, Tizzy. They come from all walks of life, and many are hurting just like I was. They need someone to care, to love them.” I squeezed her shoulder and let out a long breath. “We can steer clear of them, we can laugh at the ones who behave out of the norm like that man pretending to be a baby, or…we can have compassion for them. Compassion because they don’t have a shepherd to lead them.”
Scrunching up her face, she took it all in and struggled not to cry. She lost that battle because tears began to stream down her face. “I’ve never stopped to look at people the way you do. I’ve never even wondered what someone else is going through, and if it contributes to the way they act.” She buried her face on my chest and wrapped her arms around me. It was evident that God was wor
king in her heart, giving her a new understanding of the world and what He wanted from her.
Holding her tightly, I stroked the back of her hair. “I never meant to make you cry. That wasn’t my intention.”
She tightened her grasp around my waist but didn’t say anything. When she pulled away moments later, she tipped her face up. “I’ve never met a man like you, Dex Mitchell. You make me feel so many different things.”
I wiped the tears from her face with my thumbs and leaned down to kiss her gently on the cheek but stopped myself just in time. Wasn’t I the one who said a kiss on the cheek could never happen again? Yet, here I was…initiating it.
Forget that. I wanted to kiss her. Except…I didn’t know if she would welcome it—even if it was completely chaste. “You make me feel things too, Tizzy. Things I’ve never felt before. It’s troubling at times.”
“Why do you think God allowed us to meet?”
I stared up at the sky. “He brought us together twice. It has to mean something, but I don’t know what.” I nodded in the direction of the wax museum down the street. “You still want to check it out?”
“Yes.” She slipped her hand in mine and a warm sensation flooded through me.
“Good. Now let’s have some fun.”
***
Even though Tizzy didn’t watch a lot of movies, she recognized many of the wax figures resembling stars. We had fun standing next to different ones, attempting to mimic the hand gestures and facial expressions. I asked a lady walking by to take a picture of us, and she seemed more than happy to do that.
I put my arm around Tizzy and moved closer to her as the lady held my cellphone camera up and snapped a few shots. At the last second, I leaned down and asked Tizzy if I could kiss her on the cheek. I did it on impulse, really, since I’d almost done it earlier and hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.
She hesitated but only for a moment. “Yes.”
I brushed my lips against her soft skin, and she broke out into laughter, so I did it again. When I got my phone back, we looked through the pictures. They were all good, but the ones of me kissing her on the cheek were the best. She was laughing so hard, I felt her happiness seeping through the photographs.
After we finished at the wax museum, we caught the Metrolink and headed to downtown L.A. so I could show her the library. I’d never actually been to Richard J. Riordan Central Library, but I’d heard it was a cool place to visit because the architecture and style were striking.
Inside, the walls featured murals of California history. The high ceilings, archways, and windows made it look more like a museum or a church than a library. A large chandelier hung down with a circle of lights and a globe in the center. We strolled by the shelves, browsing through the books, taking it all in.
“Pick out anything you want,” I said. “I have a library card and can easily return the books to one of the other branches.”
She tilted her head to the side. “I have an idea. How about if I choose two books for you to read, and you do the same for me?”
“You sure you want to do that? I might make you read biker stuff. You could potentially walk out of here with a manual on Harley-Davidson motorcycles.”
She snickered. “That would be funny. But it would be even funnier if you had to read one of my sewing magazines.”
“Hey, I’m down with that. Bring it on.”
“Promise?”
“Yep. I’ll read whatever you give me. That’s a promise.”
We went our separate ways and agreed to meet back in twenty minutes. I had a few ideas and narrowed them down to two she might like. Well, one was my favorite, but I still thought she’d like it. I found the books and met her back at the entrance.
Tizzy’s long hair swept around her shoulders as she jogged over, the color in her cheeks brightening as if she’d had to hurry to get back in time.
“What did you find, sweetness?”
A pretty blush spread across her cheeks, and I had a feeling it was because I called her, “sweetness.” She seemed to enjoy it, and I liked that she liked it.
She held the books behind her back. “You can’t look at them until after we’ve checked them out. Okay?”
I lifted an eyebrow. “You want to make sure I won’t back out.”
She giggled, her entire face lighting up. “You’re on to me.”
“Well, I won’t do that. I gave my word, and I always keep that.”
Her smile faded, and her expression grew more serious. “I know. The first time we ever met…you kept your word. You kept me safe.” She had a troubled look on her face again, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“What’s going through that head of yours right now?”
She gave me a tight-lipped smile and shrugged. “I’m trying to make sense of things, I guess.”
“And by making sense of things, you’re trying to figure out what exactly?”
She bit down on her bottom lip and glanced away. “Some particulars I prefer to keep close to my heart. They’re for me and me alone. It’s not that I don’t want to tell you…”
“Say no more. I have a few things like that as well.”
I took the books to the front desk and checked them out, making sure to not actually look at them. The attendant put the books in a bag and handed me a list with all the due dates. I stuffed it inside the bag and escorted Tizzy through the exit door. Once we were outside, I turned to her. “Can we look now?”
“Yep.” She grinned, and she looked so cute, I had the urge to lean down and kiss her on the lips this time. That urge had been growing more and more, but I had to restrain myself. She’d made it clear she only wanted to be friends, and I had to respect that.
“All right. Go ahead and pull out the ones you want to give me, but try not to look at the others.” I held the bag open so she could reach inside.
She pulled out the two she had chosen, and I grabbed the leftover books.
“I’ll give you the first one,” she said, handing me an older hardback book that didn’t have a picture on the front.
“What’s this?” I lifted the cover and glanced at the first page. It was titled, Persuasion. Underneath the title, it said it was by the author, Jane Austen. “This is a chick book isn’t it?”
She laughed. “Yeah, but it’s a classic, and I love it.”
“All right,” I said as if she’d just taken my right arm. “I’ll read your book. It might kill me, but I’ll do it.”
“I want to see what you got me.”
“Sure.” I handed her one of the books.
“The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien.” She smiled and flipped through a few pages. “This is the first volume.”
“Yeah, there are three, but I figured one was enough to get you started.”
“I can’t wait. I’ll begin reading it tonight.”
“Okay, we each have one more. What if we hand them to each other at the same time?”
“Great idea.”
“On the count of three. One…two…three.” We switched books, and each looked to see what the other had chosen.
“No way,” she said, glancing at the cover.
I glanced at my book, my eyes widening. “What are the odds?”
Our eyes locked, and both of us stared at each other in disbelief.
“Great minds think alike,” I said.
The color drained from her face, and she seemed a little shaken up. “What does this mean?”
“It doesn’t have to mean anything. It’s just a coincidence.”
“No, I don’t believe that. God lets things happen for a reason.”
“Well, if we’re looking for meaning here, I’d say it’s that we’re more alike than we knew.”
“I think you might be right, but it’s scaring me a little. Look, my hand is trembling.”
Her hand was indeed unsteady, so I clasped it between my own. “You’re afraid to have something in common with me?”
She shook her head. “No, o
f course not. I already knew we had stuff in common, but I didn’t know we had this in common.”
We’d both given each other a copy of Corrie Ten Boom’s book, The Hiding Place. After the Lord saved me, someone at church had recommended the book. I’d read it in one sitting on a Saturday afternoon, and it had changed my entire perspective on life. Corrie and her family lived in Amsterdam during the time when the Nazi government seized the Jewish community and forced them into concentration camps. The Ten Booms were Christians, but that didn’t stop them from loving the Jewish people. They hid a few for quite a while until the Nazis caught them.
Corrie and her father were thrown into a concentration camp, and the story that followed from there blew me away. She never faltered or rejected God. She saw some horrific things, but the Lord brought her through them, and she went on to travel the world after the war ended, sharing with others what God taught her.
“How old were you when you read this?” I asked.
“Sixteen. My English teacher suggested it. It had such an impact on me that I’ve read it every year since.”
My jaw dropped. “Every year?”
“Yep. Every single year.”
“It must mean a lot to you.”
“It does. I loved reading about her faith and how God used her in so many people’s lives. Which is why…” She took a breath and let it out. “I think God is trying to tell me something.”
“And that is?”
The corners of her mouth tipped upward in a shy smile. “I’m not ready to say.”
“Are you kidding me? All that anticipation and you leave me hanging like that?”
She laughed. “Sorry. I just need some time to digest this.”
I put my hand on her back and began to lead her in the direction of the Metro station. “We should go.”
“Hey, Dex?”
“Yeah?”
“You can have dibs on all my lunches.”
I stopped walking and looked at her. “You sure?”
“Positive.”
“What if Cass asks you to lunch?”
Blind Date with a Billionaire Biker (Blind Date Disasters Book 3) Page 13