I hesitated for a long moment, and then cleared my throat. “I want you to stay…here in California…with me. There’s something between us. I think we’re both aware of that.”
She lifted her eyes to mine. “I want to stay, but I’m scared.”
“Fear is never a reason to do anything…or not to do it.”
“You don’t understand. If I don’t go back, it could cost me everything I’ve ever known. My parents…they’d be crushed. How could I do that to them?”
“Are you going to live your life for your parents? That’s no way to live. Everyone leaves at some point, Tizzy.”
She frowned at me. “Everyone leaves? What is that supposed to mean?” When I didn’t respond, she cleared her throat. “Tell me about your parents. What are they like?”
I sat there for a long time debating whether I should say anything. I felt her gaze on me and knew it would seem weird if I didn’t answer the question. “My mom died years ago, and my father…he’s not in my life.”
“Does that bother you?”
I shrugged and glanced away. “Nope.” A lie. I let go of her hand, breaking contact.
We were both quiet for a long time after that, and then she took my hand and held it firmly as if refusing to allow me to put up a wall. “What happened to him?”
I was about to give her some vague answer when I realized something. Tank talked about putting on a church mask, but there were all kinds of masks meant to keep people from seeing the real person inside. I wanted this with Tizzy…wherever it would lead…straight to marriage I hoped—even if at times it felt impossible to get there.
For us to have a fighting chance, she needed to see the real me. She deserved the truth as ugly as it was. I might not be ready to share it, but when was anyone ready to share something like that? It would be a risk to tell her, but if I didn’t, she’d probably find out some other way, and I didn’t want her to feel like I’d misled her.
“Tizzy, my family wasn’t like yours.” I shifted and let out a sigh, feeling my stomach turn uneasily. “My father had another family: a wife, a son. But he had an affair with my mom, and she got pregnant with me.” I couldn’t look at her, because if I did, it would crush me to see the judgment on her face. “He’s an important man, a man of wealth and power and influence. Recognizing me as his son would have put his image in jeopardy, so he didn’t acknowledge me…or perhaps it wasn’t about that at all. Maybe he just didn’t care. Either way, there was never a relationship. When my mom died, I had nothing left of my biological family. The club is my family now.”
Tizzy held onto my hand and covered the top with her other one. “Dex…”
I didn’t look up, swallowing hard over the lump in my throat.
“Dex, look at me.”
I lifted my gaze to meet hers, the feeling of worthlessness so acute I didn’t know how to hide it. Surely, she could see it in my eyes, in my expression. I was stripped bare in front of her in a way that made me feel completely vulnerable. What I’d revealed wasn’t something she would be able to accept easily. But instead of seeing judgment, I only saw compassion.
“It’s not your fault. I hope you know that. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“But I will always be the son he didn’t want.”
“Are you sure? Have you reached out to him?”
“When I was a kid I did. I went to his office and told the security guard I was Wentworth Mitchell’s son. He laughed at me, Tizzy. The guy thought I was lying.”
Her eyes moved back and forth as if piecing something together in her mind. “Wentworth Mitchell. I know that name.”
“I’m sure you do. He’s on the news all the time. He owns Mitchell Manufacturing.”
She sat up straighter. “Is that why you were at the strike? MA’s employees were the ones…” Her gaze never left my face. “That’s it, isn’t it? You were there to see your father that night.”
I tensed, my lips tightening. “Yes. I thought that if I spoke to him, he would stop acting like a tyrant and treat his employees better. The strike was getting out of hand, and I couldn’t stand by and watch so many people lose their jobs. But I never made it past the security desk…again.”
“You deserved better than that.”
I squeezed her hand. “I don’t regret showing up, though. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have seen you, and if I hadn’t been there, I shudder to think what would’ve happened to you.”
“You will always be my hero for what you did,” she said, voice trembling. She lifted our joined hands and pressed a kiss to my knuckles. “You were my angel, sent by the Lord to protect me.”
“You don’t despise me now that you know the truth?”
“I despise your father for abandoning you. You are innocent in all of this.”
Needing to stretch my legs, I stood to my feet and assisted her up as well. “The crazy thing is, he wants me to join him in the business. He keeps coming after me like I’m something he left in the lost and found.”
“What are you going to do?”
I took both of her hands in mine, glad this discussion was out of the way. “I have no idea, Tizzy. Wish I knew.” I blew out a breath and met her gaze. “I know God wants me to forgive, but I’m not sure how to do it in this case.”
Her eyes softened. “Remember Cory Ten Boom’s book, The Hiding Place? She forgave in impossible circumstances. If God can work in her life to forgive her captors, He’ll work in yours too.”
I nodded. “He’s got His work cut out for Him.” I laughed lightly to reduce the tension.
“With God, all things are possible.”
“Yes, that’s true.” I ran my fingers down a few strands of her hair, smiling at the softness of it. “He can do anything. I believe that.”
“When we were at the library…” She dropped her eyes shyly and a blush spread across her skin. “Remember when I said I thought God was trying to tell me something?”
“Yes. I didn’t want to push you to talk since you didn’t seem ready.”
“Well, I’m ready now. I think He was trying to show me that even though we’re different in a lot of ways, we have the same heart. We both chose that book…it means something to both of us.”
I lifted her hand and placed it over my beating heart. “You’re right. We have a connection that supersedes everything else.”
Chapter 16
Tizzy
Later that week, I finished The Lord of the Rings one evening after dinner. I ran over to the guesthouse and knocked on the door. When Dex answered, his eyes fell to the book in my hand.
“Did you finish it?”
“Yep.” I grinned, happy for an excuse to talk to him. Not that I needed one, but I was proud of myself for finishing the book he recommended.
“What did you think?”
“I loved it.”
“Really?” He folded his arms over his chest, looking pleased.
“Yeah. You were right. There were some scary parts, but I couldn’t put it down. Gandalf is my favorite character, though I love them all.”
“Hold on a second.” He went inside and returned a few minutes later with a DVD. “Want to watch the movie?”
“Yes! I can’t wait to see how it measures up to the book.”
“There are three movies, but we’ll just watch the first one until you’ve read the other books.”
We walked back to the main house, and I announced to Grandpa as I entered, “We’re going to watch The Lord of the Rings. Do you want to watch it with us?”
He was sitting on the couch in the living room and smiled when we walked in. He touched his chin, appearing to think. “Are you sure you want an old coot around?”
I burst into laughter, and he narrowed his eyes and gave me a look as if to say, thanks a lot.
“I’m only laughing because you’re nothing like an old coot. You’re far from it.” I wasn’t lying. Grandpa was in good shape, and he didn’t look his age. In fact, sometimes he seemed more youthful than my
own parents.
“Yeah, well…hmmm.” He didn’t seem convinced. “I think I’ll let you two have the room to yourselves.” He stood and moved to go to his room.
“Oh, come on, Gramps. Watch the movie with us.” I tilted my head up and gave him pleading eyes. I loved seeing Dex, but that didn’t mean we always had to be alone. I didn’t know how long I would be in California, so I didn’t want to miss out on any chance to spend time with Grandpa.
“Well, when you put it like that, how can I say no? Let me pop some popcorn, and I’ll join you in a minute.”
When I glanced over at Dex, he was smiling.
“What?” I asked.
“I like that you’re not possessive. It was nice of you to include Tank.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by “possessive,” but I figured he was pleased I didn’t need to spend every last second alone. “Well, I love him, and he’s fun.”
He shook his head a couple of times and laughed, his eyes flickering with admiration. “Some of the women I spent time with in the past used to do everything in their power to make sure we were always on our own, even if it meant being rude to others. You aren’t like that.”
“Speaking of women, whatever happened to those friends of yours? What were their names?” I paused as if trying to remember though I remembered very well. “Lily and Alicia, I think. Right?”
“Why? Are you feeling possessive?”
We both snickered at the same time. The irony of that statement was funny for some reason. I wiped my eyes and took a seat on the couch. Dex joined me, sitting close but not too close.
“If I’m being honest,” I said, smiling, “maybe a little.” And then it occurred to me that perhaps he was still spending time with them. Even if it was just as friends, I could tell Lily and Alicia felt more, and that didn’t sit well with me. At the very least, the women appeared attracted, judging by the way they’d acted the day I’d seen them talking to him at work. The single men and women in my church community didn’t spend time together in mixed company unless the parents were around, so this was all new to me.
“I haven’t spoken with them since they stopped by the shop that day,” he said.
“Why not?”
He paused, looking as if he didn’t want to really say.
“Tell me,” I pressed.
“Well, after you walked away, they got a little catty about you, and I didn’t like it. I’m keeping my distance from those two.”
“Oh.” I frowned, not liking the sound of that. “Catty? Why were they catty? Did I do something to offend them?”
He smiled. “Yeah. You’re beautiful and you’re kind and you’re sweet, and you captured the attention of most of the males at church.”
My mouth fell open, and I pushed him lightly on the shoulder. He was exaggerating to make a point. “Stop teasing me. That’s not very nice.”
He chuckled and looked down. “I’m not.” And then he mumbled, “If you only knew.”
Grandpa walked in at that moment with a bowl of popcorn. He set it on the coffee table and took the DVD from Dex. Once he started the movie, he sat on an adjacent couch and glanced at me. “Now if you get too scared, just tell me and I’ll speed through it.”
“I think I’ll be fine.”
As we watched the movie, a peculiar sensation fell over me. It was a feeling of belonging, like I was right where I was supposed to be. This connection I had with Grandpa, and my feelings for Dex, they were tying me to California in such a way that I didn’t know if I could ever return home for good. At least not willingly.
I didn’t want to leave this.
Saying goodbye to these new relationships that had come to mean so much to me would be heartbreaking. Just thinking about it filled me with longing and an ache that wouldn’t go away. I knew Mom and Dad loved me, but I felt accepted here. What would become of me if I forced myself to return to Pennsylvania? Would I lose my freedom?
Yes, I would. That wasn’t even a question. It was a reality.
I still had a choice, though. It wasn’t as if I didn’t.
I turned my attention back to the movie and soon became so engrossed that thoughts of returning home faded away…at least for awhile.
When it was over, Dex looked at me. “What did you think?”
“It was amazing. I want to get the next movie and play it right now.” I laughed, checking the time. “It’s close to bedtime—”
“Hey, I happen to know your boss,” Grandpa said with a wink. “If both of you want to watch the next one, I’m game. We can always show up a little late tomorrow.”
“I’ll go get the next one,” Dex said, hurrying out the back door.
After he left, Grandpa turned to me. “He really, really likes you. I’ve never seen him this devoted to anyone before.”
“I really like him too.”
He cleared his throat. “I don’t mean to put a damper on things, but if you plan on returning home, you might want to think about slowing down a little. Dex doesn’t form attachments like this very often. He’s had his fair share of heartbreak. I just hate to see either of you get hurt.”
I nodded and glanced away uneasily. “Everything has moved so quickly. I can’t believe I’ve been out here for almost three and a half weeks.”
The phone rang, and Grandpa let it go to the answering machine. I frowned as Mom left a message for me to call her back. She called every single day, and I’d just spoken to her this morning. Our conversations were never warm and fuzzy or filled with I-love-you’s. They always had a purpose, some admonition she wanted to give me, or her need to release her anxiety in some way. Sometimes I wondered if she had OCD tendencies because she had this compulsion to control everything—including my life.
Dex returned with the DVD and handed it to Grandpa. “Here you go.”
“Let’s give Tizzy a chance to call her mom back,” Grandpa said.
The conversations with Mom weren’t usually short, and if I called now, it would interfere with the movie. It was already late, so if we planned on watching the next in the series, we didn’t have time to spare. “It’s okay. I’ll call her tomorrow.”
Grandpa lifted an eyebrow. “You sure? You’ve never missed one of her calls. She might worry.”
As if on cue, she called again and left a second message stating something about getting to know the Donnelly’s son and how great he was and how he didn’t hold the break-up with Peter against me and would I be interested in having a phone conversation?
Uh. NO. I did not want to talk to the Donnelly’s son or any other man they deemed appropriate. It was strange how a person could change so much in three and a half weeks, but the idea of being matched again did not sit well with me. It was then that I knew I had to make a decision.
I wanted to stay in California with Grandpa, and I wanted more time to get to know Dex to see if there was a future for us. As soon as I came to that verdict, all the uneasiness and concern washed away like a loose piece of clothing, floating downstream and out of sight.
It was the right thing, and, for once, I felt completely confident about it. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t realize Dex and Grandpa were watching me closely. They’d heard the message about the Donnelly’s son and were waiting for me to say something.
“That’s crazy,” I said, running a hand through my hair. “How can they think of matching me with someone at a time like this?”
Dex frowned. “Are you going to talk to him?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Are you calling your mom?” Grandpa asked. “You know she gets anxious if she doesn’t hear back from you immediately.”
Maybe it was selfish of me, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It would not be an easy conversation, that was for sure. “No, I’ll check with her tomorrow.”
Grandpa shrugged. “Okay, it’s your choice.”
My choice. I was beginning to see that I did in fact have choices. I just hoped I was making the right ones.
Chapter 17
Tizzy
Several days passed, and I still hadn’t called Mom back. I dreaded hearing about the Donnelly’s son, and every cell in my body rebelled against the notion of being forced to talk to him. When Dad left a message this time, I knew the situation had escalated and my parents were starting to worry.
I picked up the phone and dialed their number. They’d been calling on a burner cell phone they’d purchased to communicate with me.
“Tirzah, is that you?” Mom asked frantically.
“Yes, it’s me. Sorry, I haven’t—”
“How could you be so selfish? We thought something horrible happened.”
“You could have left a message for Grandpa. He would have gotten back to you.” There was a quick intake of breath on her end, and I had a feeling it was because I called Carl “Grandpa.” I usually referred to him as Carl when I spoke to her, but I didn’t this time.
“He’s not your grandpa,” Mom said. “Your real grandparents are in heaven.”
I grimaced and put a hand at the base of my neck. “He is my grandfather. Just because you won’t acknowledge him doesn’t mean I have to behave the same way.”
“Don’t get smart with me, young lady.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and counted to ten. This wasn’t going well so far, but I hadn’t thought it would. “I don’t want to argue, Mom.”
“Good,” Dad said, “because I have wonderful news.” He must have been sitting next to her because his voice was pretty loud. “We have a potential buyer for the house. The realtor gave an interested buyer a tour yesterday, and we’re hoping he’ll make an offer.”
I gulped. Even though I didn’t want to return, I hated the idea that someone would buy my childhood home, and I would never see it again. “I’m sorry it’s come to this.”
“We all are,” Mom said, “but we’ll make do. We just have to save where we can.”
“Have you heard from Harry?”
“Yeah, he hasn’t let up.” Dad blew out a breath. “He keeps hounding me about the money, and I keep telling him I’m doing everything I can to speed up the process. He flat out told me he knows you’re in California, but he doesn’t seem to know where exactly. At least he hasn’t made any more threats. He just implies that we’ll be sorry if we don’t hurry up and pay off the debt.”
Blind Date with a Billionaire Biker (Blind Date Disasters Book 3) Page 16