by R. E. Bond
“Doubt it,” I snorted, but he kept his gaze on me, his voice serious.
“Skeet knows him better than anyone, so if he thinks Hunter has a boner for you, he’s right.”
I raised an eyebrow at how stupid it was becoming.
“So, Skeet’s upset because his ex-best friend thinks I’m interesting? That’s stupid.”
He rolled his eyes but chuckled.
It wasn’t funny.
“Babe, he and Hunter have always been rivals when it comes to women. They used to share women and party hard together, but it wouldn’t be the first time one of them tried to take the other one’s piece of ass, no offense. I know you aren’t a piece of ass to Skeet, but Hunter sees you as his latest way of pissing Skeet off. Not to mention he’d know that Skeet only fucks girls who fuck hard. Do yourself a favour and don’t find yourself alone with Hunter, alright? It won’t end well, and I don’t want bullets flying between them again. They’re so alike it’s scary, so watch Hunter’s charm and shit. Don’t believe a thing he says to you.”
I drank my beer in silence for a while as I sat deep in thought, until he cocked his head and gave me a warm smile.
“I’m Diesel Maverick by the way. You really want to be part of the crew?”
I glanced up at him with a half shrug.
“Never really thought about it to be honest. I didn’t handle the shit with Liam too well, but after Tristan and my dad, I guess I figured out the power behind taking control of situations myself. Caden thinks I can fight the urge away with a fist fight or two, but I’d just kill them on purpose. If I could bring Tristan and Max back to kill them all over again, I fucking would. I love the rush it brings, and I crave the power I felt.”
“Don’t blame you,” he grumbled, making me raise an eyebrow.
“Really? Because I know how things in the crew work with the women. Tell me, Diesel, have you raped someone’s girl to put her back in line?”
He seemed surprised by my question, but his eyes darkened as pure disgust rolled off him.
“No. It’s old school rules that some of the older members insist on keeping around, but most of us are from another generation. It’s why I don’t have a girlfriend. The last one I brought around years ago ended up raped, and I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone besides child molesters and rapists themselves. Once the older members leave, the rules will be removed from our ways of shit. Trust me, Slash and Skeet have been fighting them on it for years.”
I stared at him, my voice cracking with emotion.
“They raped your girlfriend?”
His hand clenched around his beer bottle, a frustrated growl leaving him.
“They fucking raped her in the cage in front of me. I couldn’t stop them, even though I tried. I ended up with a bullet in my shoulder for turning on one of the guys. They did it because I refused to beat her bloody after she picked a fight with our old leader. I can still hear her fucking screaming in my sleep all these years later.”
My heart broke as I watched the torment dance across his face.
“What happened to her?”
His expression changed, his voice softening so much I hardly heard him.
“She wanted to tell the cops, but I talked her out of it, telling her they’d just kill her. She killed herself two weeks later. I found her in our bathtub, wrists slit and empty pill bottles on the floor. She knew if one didn’t work, the other would. I was eighteen, Sasha was seventeen. We were just fucking kids, and she never got to find herself in the world like she’d always wanted. I swore I’d never bring another person into this life. This is the life I chose for myself, but I’d never have a family beside it. It can be lonely, but it’s my choice.”
I closed my eyes, only opening them when he spoke again.
“You want to see a picture of her?”
I nodded, smiling warmly as he pulled a photo out of his wallet and a pretty blonde girl stared back at me.
She was fucking stunning.
“She was beautiful.”
He cleared his throat, becoming emotional as he nodded and put it away.
“She’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. I go and sit by her grave sometimes, just to talk to her and have a beer. It’s her birthday today, she would have been twenty-four.”
He was sitting there with me instead of sitting with her?
That made me feel bad.
She was lucky to have been loved by him.
I could tell he would have showered her with love and devotion when she was alive.
I drained my beer and jerked my thumb towards the door.
“Then get out of here and go see her. Tell her I said Happy Birthday.”
A small smile tugged on his lips as he took another sip of his drink.
“She’d have liked you, you know? She always said Slash and Skeet needed a good woman around to put them in line. Skeet was only fourteen when she died, but she always told him some day, someone would sweep him off his stupid feet and bring him back to earth from his macho bullshit. I’ve never seen him in love, Donovan, and he’s a fucking pussy cat with you.”
I snorted, taking our empty beer bottles and dropping them in the trash.
“You’ve seen us fight.”
“Couples fight.”
“With blades at their throats or guns in their faces? C’mon man,” I scoffed, but he grinned, his dimples popping out and giving him a younger appearance.
“Nah, we know you two get off on it, so we leave it alone. It’s just foreplay for you.”
“We’d kill each other if people stopped interrupting us,” I smirked, crossing my arms and leaning my hip against the bench.
He looked deep in thought for a moment before he gave me a small smile.
“Hey, you want to come see Sasha with me?”
I paused, feeling like I’d be intruding.
“Oh, Diesel, I couldn’t…”
“I wouldn’t mind the company. Grab some beers and let’s go, yeah?” He waved my protesting off, so I sighed in defeat.
It was the least I could do.
After all, he was part of the crew who so badly wanted me in.
“You sure?”
“Positive, babe,” he replied, standing and heading towards the door, walking out to his red 1978 Ford F-150 Ranger to wait for me to follow.
He was quiet on the drive to the graveyard across town, but I noticed his attitude lift once we got there and we’d sat on the grass.
He told me stories about when they were in high school, laughing at the silly things she did that always made him smile.
I left him alone with his thoughts when he started talking to the headstone, trying to hide his tears as emotion took control of him.
One thing I’d learned about guys was that they liked to keep their emotions private to avoid appearing weak.
I personally thought it took more strength to show emotion, but I wanted him to mourn in peace.
I lit a cigarette and leaned against his pickup, relaxing as I became surrounded by the quiet of the night as I smoked.
Three cigarettes later, his silhouette wandered towards me like a silent shadow, his hands in his pockets and his head down.
I moved to climb in the passenger side of the pickup, but he gently wrapped his fingers around my bicep, my eyes darting up to his face with confusion.
His teary eyes in the moonlight felt like a punch to the guts, stirring something inside me that made me hurt for him.
Fuck, I guess I cared about his feelings now that we’d bonded or some shit.
“Thanks for coming with me, you know? I never bring anyone here. I guess it’s nice to have a chick around to talk to. Thanks for listening too, I don’t like talking to the guys about…”
“Hey, it’s fine. I don’t mind coming with you whenever you want. You’re family, Diesel. I look after my family now that I finally have one worth looking out for,” I smiled, hoping it soothed him even a little bit.
He hesitated before clearing h
is throat, seeming awkward all of a sudden.
“I know you don’t like being touched, but can… can I hug you?”
“Of course you can,” I replied softly, wrapping my arms around him tightly and letting him bury his face in my neck to hug me tightly in return.
I knew he was crying again as the dampness seeped through my shirt, but I pretended not to notice as I just held him as he let it all out.
Diesel
How fucking embarrassing.
I had no idea why I even took her to see Sasha in the first place.
I cried on her shoulder for fuck’s sake, and despite her not mentioning it, I knew she’d noticed.
I’d dropped her at home and driven straight back to Sasha.
I didn’t lie about wishing she’d met Rory.
They would’ve gotten along like a fucking house on fire.
I squatted next to her grave, patting it affectionately.
God, I missed her.
“Hey, Sash. Figured I’d come back. I brought some more whisky for us.”
As usual, I was met with silence, but I didn’t care.
I knew she was listening, no matter where she was.
“So, you like Rory? She’s pretty cool. Slash has claimed her as his best friend. You can imagine how well Skeet’s taking that, since she’s his girlfriend and all. Hunter and his boys have rolled into town, so fuck knows what blood will be shed this time. He’s got his eye on Rory, so I doubt he’ll be leaving any time soon. She’s crazy, but she’s super sweet too. I showed her a picture of you before I brought her here, and she told me you were beautiful. See, even she agrees. You want a drink? I fucking need one. I brought a book to read together again.”
I grabbed the bottle of whisky I’d stashed, as well as the book I’d brought with me.
I always did this on her birthday, but for once I let my mind stray as I sat beside Sasha’s grave.
I hated myself for wondering what Rory was doing.
I hated myself even more when I started wishing I still had her beside me for company.
I’d never brought someone to see Sasha, but I caught myself wondering if Rory would have read some of the book for Sasha if I’d asked her to.
I couldn’t get too close, because as I’d learned before, the life I’d chosen only took people from me.
I couldn’t handle not being able to keep someone else safe, despite the fact that Rory seemed more than happy to get herself fucking killed for the sake of keeping the rest of us safe.
I knew I wasn’t going to get home that night as I curled up beside Sasha to keep reading with my phone light, not moving again until dawn hit the horizon.
Chapter six
Rory
My phone rang, waking me early the next morning.
I climbed over Jensen, grabbing the noisy device and holding it to my ear as I crawled back into bed, Lukas instantly throwing an arm over me to snuggle closer in his sleep.
I’d called the guys when I’d gotten home from spending time with Diesel, not wanting to be alone.
It was rare we all piled into the one bed, but I’d felt like I’d needed it last night.
“Hello?”
“Donovan? It’s Diesel. I’m out front,” Diesel mumbled down the line, making me frown.
“Everything okay? Hang on, I’ll be down in a second. Let yourself in, Caden’s already been up and left for the day.”
“Sure thing,” he replied, hanging up without another word.
I knew I didn’t know him well, but he’d sounded bothered.
I went to climb over Jensen again, but his hands clamped onto my waist as he peered up at me with a smirk.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going, baby?”
I swatted him playfully, leaning down to give him a morning kiss.
“Good morning to you too, asshole. Diesel’s in the kitchen and wants to talk about something. Want a coffee?”
He frowned, not impressed in the slightest.
“Diesel Maverick? Since when are you buddies with him?”
“Since yesterday,” I replied as he finally let me out of bed.
I grabbed a shirt and pulled it over my head, turning to walk out, but a snort behind me caused me to turn and cop a faceful of sweatpants.
“Shirt might cover you, babe, but pants couldn’t hurt. You’re too hot to let loose without them.”
I grinned, yanking them on before heading down to the kitchen, tying my hair up in a messy ponytail as I entered the room.
Diesel was leaning on the bench, dark circles around his eyes that told me he’d had a long night.
He looked like fucking shit.
“Hey, you don’t look too good this morning. Want a coffee?” I offered softly, giving his shoulder a pat on my way past.
He nodded, not saying anything until we both had a coffee in front of us.
“Thanks again for last night, yeah?”
I rolled my eyes, giving him a friendly smile.
“I already told you it was fine, so what’s actually on your mind?”
He looked awkward and uncomfortable before meeting my gaze.
“Come for a drive with me to the shed?”
“Why? What’s going on?” I asked with worry, but he cringed as an apologetic expression took over his face.
“Nothing’s going on, I just have a lot on my mind and you’re good company. Didn’t mean to stress you out,” he mumbled, making me smile slightly.
He seemed to be the quietest member of the Psychos, as well as the most emotional.
Jensen wandered in, frowning at Diesel before grabbing himself a coffee.
I knew my guys were assholes, but they’d been pretty good at containing their attitudes recently.
Apparently, Jensen didn’t like Diesel.
Wasn’t that just fucking great?
Diesel winced, his voice seeming unsure as he blurted out an apology.
“Uh, sorry. If you guys had plans, that’s cool. Just thought if you had nothing to do you might want to come with me.”
I glanced at Jensen, raising an eyebrow as I spoke.
“Jense and Luke are heading to the gym for a few hours this morning, then they’re heading to Jensen’s place for the afternoon to binge watch zombie movies.”
Jensen smirked, but I could tell he was reining in his temper.
“We did invite you, you know?”
“You were just being polite, and you know it,” I smirked back, squealing as he tossed me over his shoulder and swatted my butt harder than he needed to.
He was marking his territory.
“Cheeky bitch. I should punish you.”
“Put me down!” I laughed, waiting for my feet to hit the ground before giving him a sweet kiss.
“I’ll see you guys tonight anyways. I’ll bring the whisky over and Ty can bring the cocaine. We’ll have a party.”
He rolled his eyes, his voice sarcastic and blunt.
“You know, Luke and I don’t like you high all the time when we fuck you, right?”
I shrugged, not biting back with a comment like I wanted to, giving Lukas a smile as he walked in and joined us.
Jensen handed him a coffee and absently tugged him against him for a kiss, grinning playfully.
“Well, I guess I can’t complain if I get to kick back with Luke alone for a while.”
Lukas gave him a small smile and moved to give me a kiss, not panicking too much about Diesel being there to witness his kiss with Jensen.
I could tell it bothered him to be seen doing it though.
They weren’t in a hurry to display their relationship or whatever they wanted to call it, which was probably a good idea until they figured it out.
Lukas spoke almost shyly, his eyes darting over to Diesel to look for some sign of disgust.
“Yeah, like it’s such a chore having to share,” his voice turning warm as he met my gaze. “Morning, baby.”
“Morning. You want to have drinks tonight?” I asked, his pierced
eyebrow quirking up slightly.
“We have school in the morning. We’ve missed enough of it.”
Party pooper.
“So? I can go to school with a hangover,” I shrugged.
It wouldn’t be the first time.
“I can’t,” he chuckled, grabbing his coffee and leaning on the bench beside Jensen.
Diesel cleared his throat and went to stand, appearing to be feeling out of place.
“Thanks for the coffee, Donovan. I’d better get going and…”
“Doubt it, dick head. Sit your ass down and give me ten minutes to get ready,” I ordered, downing the rest of my coffee before heading upstairs to quickly get ready.
Lukas followed me, crossing his arms and watching me get changed with judgement in his eyes.
“Since when do any of the Psychos make time for you? He looks like he’s going to keel over and die if you stay home. What’s with that?”
I glanced over my shoulder and sighed, knowing he was going to have a problem with it.
“Look, he’s just got some shit on his mind and he likes talking to me about it. He’s family, so…”
“How the fuck is he family, Aurora? You don’t know him,” he bit out, but I kept my voice level, not wanting to fight with him.
See, I’m growing as a person.
“He’s part of the crew, so he’s family.”
“Now you just sound like a crew whore,” he muttered, my eyes narrowing to slits.
He always had an opinion on shit, but he was never rude about it like he was being with me over this.
What the fuck?
“Did you just call me a fucking whore?” I snapped, my blood boiling as rage washed through me.
“No, I said it sounds like you’re being one. I know you aren’t doing the dirty, babe, but crews don’t get close to the women unless they’re on their dicks, and you know it.”
“He just needs a friend! Why can’t I be fucking friends with someone who’s part of the crew? It’s Skeeter’s fucking life, so I’m trying to be part of that!” I argued, but he waved a dismissive hand at the door as if my words didn’t matter.
“He has friends, he’s in a fucking crew. He doesn’t need to be chasing you around like a lost puppy.”