by Susan Sands
“Then, you should speak with her. Like you said, you can offer your condolences and let her know that you regret if she felt you didn’t respect or honor her feelings as a person,” Mom said.
“That sounds like something, at least. I can’t stand the idea of doing nothing,” Ben said.
“You’d think he was some kind of monarch or something, the way he orders everyone around,” Mom muttered.
They were home now. Mom had been quiet on the ride back, but Sabine could tell her thoughts were anything but.
Sabine sighed. “He’s used to getting his way.” She pulled a couple glasses from the cupboard and filled them with ice and water while her mother pulled out the to-go containers of Italian food they picked up from their favorite pizza and pasta restaurant on the way back into town.
“How long does he get to keep doing that?”
“I don’t know. I’ve decided it’s time to have a long talk with Richard about a divorce. Maybe once I figure that out and get my life back, I can figure a way out of this mess with Dad.” Sabine no longer loved Richard.
He’d hurt her and used her to advance his political career, but his behavior proved far better than his words what lay in his heart. And Sabine refused to be with a man who wasn’t trustworthy. She’d been younger once, and believed his words. But, no longer.
“I thought the two of you were such a great match in the beginning,” Mom said.
“In the beginning, so did I.” They ate for a few minutes in silence.
Her mother snapped the lid shut on her pasta container suddenly and announced, “I’m not taking it anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m starting my life again. After seeing Jean-Claude today, I realize that I’m over him. Like, I don’t love him anymore. He’s a sad, pathetic old convict who finally got what he deserved. All the manipulation of people’s lives, ours included, caught up with him. I don’t have to live like a prisoner, my dear, and I don’t plan to anymore.”
“Mom, I get that you’re angry, and that you’re ready to make a fresh start, but how exactly will that change your everyday life?”
“Maybe it won’t, at first. It’s more in my mind that I’ve let your father bind my spirit. I’ve hidden out, and I’ve worried. I’ve lived a prisoner’s existence. I know I can’t do certain things until you’ve made your break from Richard because of the risk of exposing your privacy and it hurting your business and bringing you unwanted attention.”
Sabine’s heartbeat accelerated, like it always did when they discussed the possibility of exposure—her greatest fear. No one would trust her with their secrets here again. They would believe she’d deceived them. She had, in so many ways. Her official identity wasn’t who they believed. But she was Sabine, and she’d been authentic in her dealings with them. Hopefully, if this all went haywire, she would be able to convince her patients, and the friends she’d made, of this. A small, but insistent voice asked what would Ben think of her?
No, she didn’t owe him anything. They weren’t an item. But sins of omission had an insidiousness about them. There was something between the two of them. Maybe it was basic physical attraction—but what if there was more? What if she were a divorced woman and free to act on her desires? Sabine had such conventional views on marriage that were so deeply ingrained from her Catholic upbringing. They could take the girl out of the church but not the guilt from the girl. She’d always believed marriage was for life. Divorce was a sin. Wasn’t it?
Her good sense warred with her rigid moral code. But somehow she’d always been able to suspend her self-inflicted flagellations to provide a well-balanced perspective for her patients, without imposing that rigidity on them. She simply didn’t judge them—only herself.
Maybe it wouldn’t affect Ben that she was married, or that she was a well-known senator’s wife who had changed her name to hide out here in his small town. It wasn’t Ben’s concern unless she made future overtures toward seeing him socially. Otherwise, they would run into one another on occasion and that would be it.
As Sabine gathered up her leavings from dinner, she pondered what true freedom might be like for her down the road. She’d been so bound up in the emotional complexity of her situation for such a long time, Sabine hadn’t allowed herself to glimpse or imagine the future, long-term, once all this was over. Would it ever truly end?
If her mother could do it, so could she. Tomorrow Sabine would contact Richard and discuss their next steps, and hopefully their futures without each other. Richard’s political career hinged somewhat on his family-man image. Favorability ratings had dropped since he’d publicly announced they were “taking some time to reevaluate.” That had been almost two years ago, right after his reelection. Her absence obviously mattered. A state senator’s wife maintained a very busy schedule. Theresa Habersham had dropped off the face of the earth. Richard had dodged questions about her to the point of outright lying. He’d had to imply that she was still distraught over her father’s conviction, which had been a huge media circus, and asked for complete privacy. Then there’d been the miscarriage.
Of course, there had been reporters who had sniffed around trying to find her. But, she’d done a pretty significant job of covering her tracks. Her clinical license was registered in Alabama as Sabina O’Connor, which was listed on her birth certificate as part of her full name, making it legal. Her public name had been Theresa Habersham. Her family and Richard had always called her Sabine, as a nickname, but no one else had. Her ridiculously long birth name was Theresa Sabina O’Conner Prudhomme. Her married name was Habersham. For two years, it had worked.
And, so far, the cover-up of Richard’s shenanigans with prostitutes while attending meetings in New Orleans had been kept under wraps. Dad had a hand in keeping that quiet, but it could blow up at any time. Sabine wondered if it would matter for more than a full news cycle to his constituents. With all the awful things going on in the world, and the shocking exploits of today’s politicians, it was doubtful a prostitution scandal would even register on the scale. No more than having one’s hand caught in the cookie jar. Almost expected.
But somehow, being married in politics mattered. It was okay to be a philanderer, so long as one was married. It made one seem grounded and serious to the voters. Go figure.
“Honey, you’ve been quiet. I realize my announcement might have shocked you. But I’m doing this for both of us. It’s still my job to set a good example for you—to show you strength. Don’t worry. I would never place you in a vulnerable situation by telling anyone our secret. I just plan to live again instead of hiding inside my own skin in shame.”
Sabine exited her own thoughts and replied, “I’m glad. It’s time we both got back to our real lives. It might take some time before we’re able to be completely honest with everyone in town, but the time will come. Soon. I’m going to call Richard tomorrow. You’ve inspired me.” Sabine and her mother embraced. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I’m so ready for this,” Mom said, fresh tears shining in her lovely eyes.
“Me too.”
Chapter Seven
Ben couldn’t remember the last time he’d experienced such physical symptoms. He was sweating, but it was quite cool in here. His hands were shaking slightly—and even before the biggest trials, his hands never shook. And his gut. He thought he might throw up. Was he ill?
“Hey, bud, you don’t look so hot. You okay?” It was his sister, Cammie.
“I feel like shit.”
“It’s nerves.”
Ben opened his mouth to hotly deny such nonsense, then closed it. He was nervous. It was such a foreign sensation to him. His normal, easy confidence had taken off for the hills.
“Don’t worry, Brother, I won’t tell anyone you’ve been taken out by human weakness. You’re going to do fine, okay?”
“Thanks, Cam.”
Ben had asked Hailey to meet him at Evangeline House for privacy’s sake. The last thing he wanted wa
s the gossip mill to crank up to full steam if anyone saw them somewhere together in public. Mainly, because she was engaged to Jeff, but also because Ben had no idea how this meeting would go. Hailey was a nice girl, and he didn’t want to expose her to public drama.
Ben hoped there wouldn’t be a scene, because he hated emotional scenes. Didn’t everyone? But given his own nerves, he could only imagine that Hailey might be feeling the same. Evangeline House was the best choice for this discussion.
Ben still had Hailey’s phone number in his list of contacts, so he’d simply called her. She’d been hesitant to speak with him, at first. Ben could hear Jeff talking in the background, so that might have been the reason. But she agreed to come over. He wondered if she’d mentioned it to Jeff. Ben hoped she had. Meeting with another man’s fiancée without his knowledge broke his bro code in a big way, even if it was Jeff’s back Ben was going behind.
Ben was seated in the same room where he and Sabine had shared their near-perfect evening. It warmed his insides and settled his nerves a little as he remembered. Just thinking about her calm, reasonable demeanor did that. Maybe he should see her in a professional capacity.
Voices broke into his musings. He stood as Hailey entered the room; she was willowy and blonde, with large brown eyes and a pretty smile.
Cammie’s hand rested on the doorknob. “I’ll be down the hall if you need anything. There’s iced tea, water, and some snacks on the table. No one will bother you.” She smiled at Hailey.
Hailey thanked Cammie and approached the table. Ben’s stomach turned a flip. Oh, that wasn’t good.
But he shoved down the worst of it and managed to greet Hailey. “Thanks for meeting me.”
“Sure.” They did a quick, awkward embrace, as grown-ups did when thrown together after time had passed.
“Please sit. I’m sure Jeff told you about our run-in at the office the other day.”
Hailey shook her head. “No. He didn’t mention anything. I know you aren’t his favorite person, but he didn’t tell me that anything out of the ordinary happened.”
“Then this will be more awkward than I’d expected.”
She frowned. “I wondered why you asked to see me.”
No point in beating around the bush. “Jeff told me you’d miscarried. My baby.”
Comprehension dawned in Hailey’s eyes. Not shock, but comprehension. “I wondered if he’d be able to restrain himself from telling you eventually.” Her expression was sad but resigned.
“Hailey, why didn’t you tell me?” Ben asked.
“Why would I tell you? We weren’t a thing.” Her gaze was steady.
“But you were pregnant with my child.”
“The only reason you would have cared is because I was pregnant. You didn’t care about me.” She said this in a sad, but matter-of-fact manner.
“I cared.” But Ben realized in that moment that she was right.
“Ben, you have a unique gift of making women feel special but keeping yourself holed away someplace where you can’t feel—really feel. I believe you would have done the right thing, whatever the right thing was, if I’d carried the pregnancy to term. But I didn’t have any interest in being with someone who wasn’t in it at least fifty percent for me.”
Ben sighed. “I’m sorry, Hailey.” Her revelation had hit him like a sledgehammer between the eyes. “I’m beginning to see a pattern. I honestly believed that I’ve been treating women well. But it’s been recently pointed out that I’ve hurt people. I hurt you.”
“Yes, you hurt me. It hurt to know that the person who I made a life with cared nothing about me. But I was careless too. I knew better than to involve myself with someone so emotionally unavailable, and even though we were both using protection, the pregnancy happened. I would rather have gone it alone than trap you.”
“But instead you suffered your loss alone.”
“Yes. But, I’m okay. I saw a therapist right after, and she helped me through the worst of it. And quite a bit of time has passed. I still see her sometimes.”
Well, shit. He’d bet money on who that was.
“I’m glad you’ve sought counseling and are in a better place. I hear congratulations are in order for you and Jeff? You’re getting married?”
She grinned then, and a lovely blush stole over her cheeks. “Yes. We are very happy. Please understand; he’s not as much of a jerk as he seems. Back when I told him what happened, he wanted to kill you. Or anyone. He’s very protective of me.”
Ben understood then. Why Jeff singled him out as the butt of jokes in the office, or figured out ways to constantly place him on the defensive. “I can’t imagine what he must think of me. I honestly don’t blame him.”
“Here’s a thought, why don’t we get together with Jeff and work this out? I mean, long-term, it won’t do anybody any good for the two of you to not get along. You’re a partner in the law firm where he’s trying to make partner. Peace would be best for us all.”
“You would be willing to do that? After everything that’s happened?” Ben was surprised, to say the least.
“Of course. Ben, I’m relieved that you asked to see me. I wanted to tell you about the baby. But I didn’t want to see the look in your eyes when you believed I’d trapped you. You’re a good guy. I know that. I think you just need to do some soul-searching where your relationships are concerned. Figure out why you don’t let anyone scratch the surface. Everyone in town knows about Lisa. Maybe you need to get some closure there.”
Hailey smiled, a sad smile, and patted his hand. She was sad for him as well as her own loss, he could tell. Was everyone sad for him now? Now that they had begun to realize he couldn’t connect with other females besides Lisa?
“Do you think everyone knows this about me?” he asked.
Hailey shook her head. “Not everyone. Just a few of us have likely figured it out. But, like I said, everyone knows the mind-job Lisa did on you. I think some women have taken it as their personal challenge to be the one who breaks through and becomes the one to make you forget her.”
“You’re an amazing girl, Hailey. I hope Jeff understands how lucky he is.”
She laughed. “Oh, he does. That’s why I’m marrying him.”
“Well, I appreciate your insights. It’s not easy to admit to having a problem. And I’m pretty sure I’ve got to make some changes.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep your secret.” She grinned and stood.
“Maybe I’ll go to a therapist,” Ben said.
“You should try Sabine O’Connor. She’s amazing.”
He groaned. “Somehow I knew she was the one you were going to recommend.”
“Oh? You know her?” Hailey’s eyes lit up.
“We worked on a court case together.”
“Well, give her a try. She’s the best.”
And now he knew exactly why Sabine believed him to be such scum of the earth. She’d already heard every detail of this disastrous situation. And then he’d gone out of his way to defend his treatment of women to her.
He gave her high marks for professionalism. A woman with less self-control might have laughed in his face during his man pride speech after their date. She’d even kissed him, knowing what she knew about him. What did that say about her? Either she was desperate, or maybe it spoke to her own self-esteem that she was willing to bottom feed with the likes of Ben Laroux.
He’d gone from strutting around as the town’s favorite son to the lowest form of life. And the change had all occurred in his head—and heart—once he’d gotten a large dose of truth.
“You okay?” Cammie broke into his maudlin thoughts.
“No. I don’t think so.”
“Look. I know this is a big, fat attitude adjustment for you, but you’re not a bad person.”
Cammie slid into the seat next to him and covered his hand with hers.
“I suck. All this time I believed I was doing them some kind of favor, spreading myself evenly among them. Allowing just enou
gh of myself to keep them wanting more.”
Cammie laughed. “Good heavens, Brother; it sounds like you think you’ve kept the females in town running on sweet Ben love.”
Ben allowed himself a slight grin. “There’s such a demand.”
“I think you should focus quality over quantity moving forward. What about Sabine? She appears to be quality.”
Ben snorted.
“What? What happened with Sabine?”
“All the women in town have been telling her their Ben stories and problems. How do you think she views me? Especially after hearing Hailey’s saga?”
Cammie grimaced. “Hailey is her patient?”
He nodded, his mouth set in a grim line.
“Oh.”
“Now you see my issue with dating Sabine.”
“I can see how she might have some predetermined ideas about your character, but I still saw the way she looked at you. And I believe it isn’t hopeless.”
Ben smiled at his twin. “You always look on the bright side.”
“So do you. That’s why you’re such a fantastic attorney. And if anyone can solve this problem and make a case for Ben, the good guy, it’s you.”
Ben stood and pulled Cammie to her feet. “Thanks for the pep talk, Sis.” He gave her a quick hug. “And thanks for being here today.”
“I’ve got a couple weeks off from filming, so I’m making the most of them.”
His gaze focused on her belly, which was still pretty flat. “So, have you felt any kicks yet?”
Cammie’s grin was so huge it nearly split her face in two. “Here and there. We’ll find out the sex in a few weeks.”
Ben couldn’t wait. He adored all his nieces and nephews. But he instinctively knew Cammie’s child would be special because of their tight bond.
Her face became serious then. “Ben, you’ve worked this out with Hailey. She isn’t holding a grudge, right?” He shook his head. “Then you’ve got to forgive yourself. We all have personal revelations as we grow and mature. Remember what went on with Grey and me when I moved back?”