by E. L. Todd
“I don’t deserve to be treated that way. And I refuse to settle for a woman who would drag me through the mud like that.”
“You’re right,” she said. “You deserve someone better. But now I am someone better. I’ve realized my mistakes and I’m different. I’ll never hurt you again—I promise.”
Like I’d ever believe that. “You made me make the same promise to you and I kept my word. And this is how you repay me?”
She swallowed the lump in her throat.
“I hate you, Lexie.”
She flinched at my words.
“And I’ll never love someone I hate.”
She took a deep breath like she was trying not to cry. Her lip quivered slightly but she somehow steadied it.
Distant footsteps were heard down the hallway but I didn’t look in that direction. All I did was stare at Lexie, the woman I loved more than life itself. She was starting to cry, and I inexplicably wanted to hold her to make it stop. Then I heard the sound of a dish crashing to the floor and shattering into thousands of pieces.
“You. Fucking. Bitch.” Trinity’s eyes were on fire and contained a promise of murder.
Lexie and I both turned to her, surprised by her approach.
Trinity charged right at Lexie, ready to rip her face off. “How dare you come here? Get away from my brother, whore.”
I should let Lexie get the beating she deserved but I couldn’t. I stepped in front of Lexie and blocked her from Trinity, protecting her with my large size. “Trinity, calm down.”
She tried to push me out of the way. “Conrad, move. I’ll take care of this skank for you.”
“Trinity, stop.” I grabbed her by both arms and pushed her back. “Calm down.”
“I’m not letting her get away with this. How dare she treat you like that then beg for another chance.” Trinity peeked her head around me. “You’re going to die, bitch.”
I’d never seen Trinity act like this. “Trinity, knock it off. Now.”
She continued to fight me.
“You’re pregnant. Do not engage her.”
That reminder brought her back to earth. She finally stopped fighting me but the death threat was still in her eyes. “You better not take her back, Conrad. I swear to god—”
“I’m not. We were just talking.”
“I like Carrie. Don’t mess things up with her.”
“I won’t.” I kept my voice calm so Trinity would cool off.
The door to my apartment opened and Carrie stepped out and surveyed the scene. She watched Trinity and I then turned her gaze on Lexie, who was standing a few feet away with her arms across her chest. “Everything okay…?”
“Everything is fine,” I said. “We’re just having a chit-chat.”
Trinity pulled herself away from my embrace. “Let’s call the cops on her. That should do the trick.”
My sister was out of her mind right now. “Trinity, go home. Let me handle this.”
She didn’t move.
“Trinity, now.”
Trinity growled before she pulled away. “If I ever see you again, Lexie, I will scratch those pretty blue eyes right out of that stupid face of yours.” She walked down the hallway until she disappeared.
Okay, I got rid of one woman.
I turned around and looked at Lexie. “Sorry about that.”
“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I don’t blame her.”
Carrie continued to watch us, but there wasn’t any anger or irritation in her eyes. Her eyes surveyed us back and forth, her intelligence clear in just the look. Instead of jealousy, there was only interest.
“Baby, can you give us a moment?” I asked.
“Sure.” Carrie shut the door, and her footsteps were heard as she walked away.
Lexie’s eyes were glued to the spot where Carrie had been. “She’s pretty…”
“Yes, she is.” The second I saw her in the park I thought she was a looker. I didn’t have a preference for a certain hair type, but after Lexie and I broke up I realized I preferred brunettes.
“But you don’t love her…” Her eyes finally moved to my face.
“What does it matter if I love her?” It didn’t make any difference. “I love being with her—and that’s all that counts.”
“Conrad, you can’t look at me and tell me you don’t love anymore.”
I raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to her. “I. Don’t. Love. You.”
Lexie held my gaze without blinking. “I remember everything we had…feelings like that don’t just go away.”
“Well, you went away,” I jabbed. “You turned your back on me and didn’t think twice about it.”
“I was scared—”
“And that makes it okay?” I snapped. “You’ll never understand what I went through these past four months.”
“I will if you tell me.”
I released a sarcastic snort. “You don’t deserve to know. You aren’t in my life anymore. Carrie is the woman I’m with now, and I’m going to marry her.”
Lexie’s eyes took on a frightened appearance. Her chest expanded with an involuntary breath. “What? You’re going to marry her?”
“Yes. And have three kids. I’m going to buy her a big ass house that you didn’t want and we’ll be a family.”
“But you don’t love her.”
“Like I said, love means nothing to me—not anymore.”
“So, you just settle?”
“No, I found a woman that I care about who would never hurt me. She and I are one of the same, opposite sides to the same coin. She makes it easy for me to breathe. When I’m with her, I don’t want to be anywhere else. I can be exactly who I am, the good and the ugly, and she doesn’t give a damn. She accepts me for who I am and doesn’t try to change me. It’s a lot stronger than a stupid infatuation. What you and I had was never real. If it were, it wouldn’t have ended the way it did. You wouldn’t have walked away from me so easily. You wouldn’t have dropped me like that. This is my life now—without you.”
Lexie was trying not to cry again. The moisture was building up in her eyes, rising to the surface. Her bottom lip began to quiver again.
“Don’t bother me again, Lexie. Go find some other guy. We both know you can have whoever you want.”
“I only want you…”
I gave her a cold smile as I walked into my apartment. “Sure, Lexie. Whatever you say.”
***
Carrie eyed me across the dinner table. She still hadn’t said a word to me since she spotted Lexie and I in the hallway. Unlike most girls, she said more with her silence. She waited for me to come to her. She had the patience of a flower.
I ate the Chinese food we had delivered. I munched on the egg rolls and ate the rest with my chopsticks. The silence was deafening. We were both thinking the same thing but neither one of us chose to speak. “Lexie came to my office a few days ago.”
Carrie looked at me when I finally addressed the issue. “What did she say?”
“She made a lame excuse for what she did.”
“And what was the excuse?”
I told Carrie about Lexie’s divorce. Then I explained what happened with her parents. “She didn’t want to get married again because she didn’t want to go through that. She lost all faith in the institution. But that just pissed me off more. It’s a pathetic excuse for what she did to me. How could she possibly think that would happen to us? How could she think I would ever do something like that to her? I’m the most honest man you’ll ever find.”
Carrie moved her noodles around with her chopsticks. “And what did she say tonight?”
“The same bullshit. That she wants me back and wants to try again.” I shook my head. “That’s never going to happen.”
Carrie stopped eating altogether and eyed me silently.
“What?”
“Why isn’t it going to happen?”
What did she say? “Excuse me?”
“Conrad, we both know you’re still in love
with her.”
“No, I’m not.”
She tilted her head to the side, almost in a sarcastic way.
“I don’t,” I said defensively. “Why would I be in love with someone who did that to me?”
“Why would you fall so hard unless this woman was the one?” she challenged.
I narrowed my eyes. “I’m not saying I never loved her. I did—a lot. But I don’t feel that way anymore.”
“Then why did you tell me love wasn’t in your future?”
“Because it’s not. I’m done with it. Anytime I love someone they hurt me.”
“Or is it because you know you’ll always love her?”
I didn’t like being analyzed. I felt like she was a shrink and I was someone who needed drugs. “No, Carrie. That’s not it.”
She set her chopsticks in the bowl and sighed.
I stopped eating too because I suddenly lost my appetite.
“Conrad, just forgive her and be happy.”
Seriously? “Do you not remember what she did to me?”
“I remember every detail,” she said. “More than anyone else, I understand what you went through. I see it on a daily basis. If you didn’t love her anymore then I wouldn’t say a word. But you clearly do.”
I was getting tired of this argument.
“Conrad, if Scott did the same thing to me I would forgive him—in a heartbeat.”
“Easy for you to say since he’s dead.” It was a cold thing to say and I knew I shouldn’t have said it.
Carrie’s eyes flashed with anger but it passed. “Either live your life bitter and alone…or give her another chance.”
“Fuck. Her.”
She bowed her head and sighed.
Was this conversation finally over?
Carrie rose from the table then grabbed her purse from the couch.
I pushed her too far. “Baby, don’t go. I’m sorry about what I said.” I left the table and came to her, an apologetic look on my face.
“That’s not why I’m leaving.”
“Then why?”
“You should be with her, Conrad. You have another chance of being with the love of your life. I would never stand in the way of that.”
This was a nightmare. “I don’t want to be with her. I want to be with you.”
“You only want to be with me because you’re scared.”
I averted my gaze.
“You know you’ll be safe with me. You know you’ll never love me. It’ll be a passionless and platonic relationship that barely gives you what you need. I was okay with it when I thought she was gone forever but now that she’s not…I have to bow out.”
“Don’t.” That was all I could say.
“You’ll thank me for this later.” She cupped my cheek and gave me a fond look.
“I’ll never go back to her. So this noble effort is absolutely pointless.”
“I hope you do, Conrad. I really do.”
I grabbed her wrist. “Please don’t leave me. You make me happy.”
“No, I make you content. You’ll never know true happiness with me. You have to love someone in order for that to happen.”
“Carrie, I can’t forgive her for what she did. I just can’t.”
“You don’t need to do it overnight. Baby steps.”
I shook my head.
She leaned in and gave me a slow kiss. It was a silent goodbye, one full of sadness. I knew she didn’t want to leave me, not when this relationship was so perfect for her. But she was doing it for me, because she thought it was the best thing for me. “You know where to find me…” She turned away and walked out with Sassy. When the door shut I knew she was really gone.
And she would never come back.
Chapter Eleven
Trinity
“That stupid fucking bitch.” I slammed the door behind me.
Slade jumped ten feet into the air and knocked over a dish, where it crashed onto the floor and broke off into a hundred pieces. “What the hell is wrong with you? Who walks into a room and says that?”
I was too pissed off to care. “I went downstairs to give Conrad that lasagna—”
“And he called you fat?” he asked sarcastically. “Said you needed to get more highlights?”
“No.” I put my hands on my hips. “Lexie was outside his door.”
“Lexie?” he said with a gasp.
“I don’t know what they were talking about but I can only assume she’s trying to get him back. That damn whore.” I stomped my foot. “No one walks out on my brother like that and gets away with it. I told her if I ever saw her again I’d turn that pretty face of hers into a hideous one.”
Slade was still in shock. “Lexie? She was there?”
“Yes, I said that already.”
“Wow…how did Conrad look?”
“Pissed.”
Slade nodded. “Makes sense.”
“And Carrie was there. I don’t know why she didn’t have that skank pinned to the ground…”
“Because she has more class than that.”
“Are you saying I don’t have class?” I shifted my weight to one foot.
Slade knew he said the wrong thing. “No…”
“I’m not joking. I will beat her face in if she fucks with Conrad again. He’s finally got a level head and she better not mess that up.”
Slade came around the counter then gripped both of my shoulders. “It’s cute that you care about him and everything…but he can handle this. He isn’t going to lapse back just because she’s made a reappearance. He’ll tell her off and move on.”
I wasn’t so sure about that. “I need to talk to my father about this.”
“What?” he blurted. “Why?”
“He needs to know.”
“Because…?”
“He’s worried about Conrad. He needs to know what’s going on.”
“Baby, I love you and everything but you need to back off. This is Conrad’s business, and if he wants his father to know he’ll tell him.”
My nostrils immediately flared. “You stick your nose in Cayson’s business every damn day.”
“But that’s different—”
“It’s not different at all,” I snapped. “Dad and I both care about Conrad, and we’ll do whatever it takes to keep him safe. So, you’re the one who needs to back off.” I poked him hard in the chest then marched off. I didn’t want to look at my husband right now, not when he wasn’t taking my side. We had an enormous Jacuzzi in our bathroom, so I locked the door and barricaded myself inside.
***
A locked door wasn’t an obstacle for Slade. He used his lighter to get it unlocked before he walked into the bathroom. He had a pissed look on his face. “Don’t lock the door.”
I remained still in the water.
“What if you got hurt and needed me right away?”
“I’m not clumsy.”
He sat on the edge of the tub. “I’m not kidding, Trin. Leave the door unlocked.”
“I knew you would come.”
“And a locked door was supposed to prevent that?”
“Just go, Slade.” I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t have to look at him anymore.
“I still stand by what I said. You need to back off Conrad and his business.”
I splashed water on him, soaking his jeans and t-shirt. “And I still stand by what I said—get out.”
“Those pregnancy hormones are really kicking in, huh?”
I glared at him then splashed water on him again.
Slade hopped out of the way. “I’ll be ready for your apology when you decide to give it.” He slammed the door on his way out, and the sound echoed in my ears after he was gone.
***
I walked into my dad’s office without knocking. I was on a mission and needed to speak with him ASAP. “Dad, we need to talk.”
He was typing something on his iPad but he immediately stopped when he realized it was me. “Everything alright, sweetheart?” He set his gadge
t aside and stood up.
“No.”
“What’s wrong?” He came around the desk, bringing a cloud of darkness with him. He immediately tensed in preparation for a fight.
“Lexie.”
His eyes widened.
“Yep. That bitch is back.”
Dad took a moment to process what I said. “What do you mean?”
“I saw them talking outside Conrad’s apartment. Conrad look pissed and she looked apologetic. I don’t want her bothering him. When Conrad snapped…I lost my brother. I don’t want him to go through that again. I can’t handle it…” My eyes immediately watered and I felt pathetic getting so emotional so easily.
“Honey, calm down.” Dad put a hand on my shoulder. “It’ll be alright. Conrad isn’t going to slip away again.”
“Not if she doesn’t leave him alone. I don’t want her anywhere near him.”
Dad sighed and looked at the ground.
“Aren’t you going to do something?”
“Do what?” he asked. “The conversation is over. There’s nothing I can do.”
“But what if she bugs him again.”
“More than likely, I won’t be around. Again, there’s nothing I can do.”
“You can threaten her,” I snapped.
Dad shook his head. “I need to stay out of your personal life as well as Conrad’s. I can’t interfere.”
“What?” I stomped my foot. “This is the one time where you’re supposed to interfere. What if he takes her back?”
“He won’t.” Dad said it with confidence. “Not after what she did. And he has Carrie now. They seem pretty happy together.”
“What if Lexie tears them apart?”
“Highly unlikely.”
“Well, I don’t want to leave anything to chance,” I said. “You either talk to Lexie or you talk to Conrad.”
Dad was still hesitant. “It’s not my place to interfere.” His eyes looked past me and out the large windows that covered his office. Recognition formed deep within, and then familiarity.
“What?”
“She’s here…”
I spun around and saw Lexie step out of the elevator then walk onto the floor. She kept her head down and clutched her purse close to her side. She knew she shouldn’t be there. The guilt was written all over her face. “Oh hell no.” I immediately dashed for the door.