by Kira Blakely
I fell into a fitful sleep at some point, late. My phone vibrated and blinked on the nightstand with incoming text messages, and even though I hated his guts, I had to sit up and check every one. The first came around 10 p.m.
I know how you must be feeling. Please let me explain. Did you get home okay? Can we talk?
I made a soft “pfft” and fell back onto my pillow. Please.
Please just text back to let me know if you got home okay.
I opened a response, then closed it again. He could call all the hospitals in Texas if he wanted to.
I can completely explain what you saw between me and Lola. We are not together. It’s a long story… Can we talk?
I opened a response, wrote, No, we can’t, and then closed it without sending. That text message would count as talking, and attorneys don’t text their just-clients at night.
Michelle? Are you there?
That one came in at midnight. I had to admire his restraint—or else he was just with Lola, distracted.
All right…
That was the last text. I woke up to that one. It came in at 2 a.m.
I didn’t get anymore.
And a month went by.
Occasionally, I saw him. I never let myself hunt for him intentionally, but my eyes would slide toward his gray rancher every time I exited Withers Community, without fail. Sometimes he was outside and I’d catch a glimpse of him. Once, he had his powerful back bared, turned on the road, and I gave myself the luxury of tapping the brakes and admiring him for a second. The sun spilled across his muscles as they flexed and coiled during his hard work.
Then I exhaled and pressed the gas. It was over. And all those muscles—and the sex—couldn’t erase Lola’s tits from his hands. He was just like Daniel. He didn’t really love me. He was just trying to live his life. If I worked for the moment, great, and if I didn’t, that was great, too. Who would want that?
I got new clients and worked on their cases. Andrew’s case would be heard soon, but our defense was already assembled. He didn’t come to my office. He and Lola were probably firmly back together now.
I threw myself into housewarming projects: a flowerbed surrounding the porch, stepping stones in the backyard, a bookcase I painted all by myself. Chet visited without fail every time I was visible in the yard.
I lost Bubba.
There were two more invasions. It was always the same. Nothing taken. Nothing broken. No one there. Just the alert. I went to the police station and told them what was happening, and they told me that they weren’t getting the alerts. I called the app designer customer service line and they told me to uninstall and download the software again. I did. It was supposed to link up with my home system and with the police station. Then it happened again. The police didn’t show again. I decided I’d get a new security system altogether when I had the time and the money. In the meantime, no harm, no foul, I guess. At least I still had the television and the couch.
As I was coasting out of Withers Community to my office downtown, my eyes tracked Andrew through the windshield. There he was. We hadn’t seen each other in so long now—but there he was, on a riding lawnmower in his front yard. His shirt was off and his torso glistened with sweat in the July sunshine. That pepper-colored hair still fell wherever it landed. It seemed like forever ago... and I thought about my fingers sliding through his hair again, his hands hard on my back.
As if he felt my gaze, he glanced over his shoulder, and we made eye contact through the driver’s side window.
It was only a second, but my heart stopped.
My eyes flicked away and refocused on the road. My heart did the jitterbug in my chest, but I beat it down. It was just eye contact. We would have to see each other soon in court, and I couldn’t be this nervous and butterfly-infested then, could I? I needed to get used to him. I’d probably be defending him for another misdemeanor in a few months anyway, right? It was nothing, Michelle. Get over it.
I cruised through the front gate. If another car had been entering, I would’ve crashed smack dab into them and needed a mechanic real bad.
Guess I got lucky.
* * *
I didn’t dress up in anything special for Andrew’s trial. It was just the standard cloying black wiggle dress with three-quarter sleeves, and a tantalizing little froth of crimson silk at the bust in a sweetheart cut. It made my tits pop like a red-breasted robin’s. I pinned my hair up into the classic top knot bun, speared with black chopsticks, and delicately slid a pair of black cat glasses up my nose. I put on a touch of makeup. The usual: a quick flick with the mascara wand, a dust of foundation and some highlighter cream on my cheeks, and matte crimson lipstick to match the dress. Black pumps.
Totally standard.
As I walked across the courthouse parking lot, I took deep breaths and reminded myself that this was just another quick trial, just another client.
I strode into the courthouse with my pumps echoing behind me and my ass swishing from side to side, and Chet’s attorney spilled his pitcher of water across the plaintiff’s table. Andrew stood up like the national anthem was playing.
He wore a slate gray suit that barely contained his body, and my first non-sexual thought about him was concern that his jacket or his pants might rip if he didn’t move very carefully. He’d shaved, too. I didn’t know he owned a razor.
I placed my folder down on our table and didn’t look directly at him. He was just as likely to sear himself into my eyes as the sun was.
“Michelle,” his voice grated behind me.
An involuntary shudder raced down my spine and I didn’t turn. I kept my head down and kept rifling through our file, just like I had done on the day he walked into my office five or six weeks ago.
I swallowed. “Yes?” I asked in a bright, fake voice. “Everything all right?”
“You shouldn’t be dressed like that today,” he replied.
I twisted to glance at him and saw that the bulge of his cock was clearly outlined in those tight dress pants. A part of me ached to reach out and stroke him right here—he was as big and rigid as ever for me, and in a matter of how many seconds?—but I pressed my lips together and burrowed back into my file.
“Take some deep breaths and think about baseball statistics,” I recommended.
“I hate baseball.”
“Then think about Lola,” I said. I knew it was a low blow and that this wasn’t the place, but the comeback was out of my mouth before I could stop it. When I glanced over my shoulder again, his erection was deflating. “Problem solved.”
I settled into my seat and crossed my legs, waiting patiently for the arrival of the judge to hear our case.
“How have you been?” Andrew wondered, settling next to me.
“Well. And yourself?”
“A mess.”
My eyes met his and held for a few beats. The room shrunk and we were the only people in it now. I could hear my heart in my ears. Those electrifying green-and-gray eyes were so soulfully pained, and I looked away again.
“I’m not going to do this here,” I said in a rushed whisper. I clutched my pen like I was trying to break it.
“Then where can we do it?”
“Michelle, Ace,” Chet’s voice broke into our conversation. “Good to see you two could put all that old bullshit behind you and focus on the trial.”
“You know me,” I agreed sweetly, though I did not look up to meet his gaze. Andrew stewed beside me as if he was telepathically slamming into Chet with a wave of animosity. “How about your team? Are you excited?”
“Ecstatic,” Chet agreed. He swung a hand out to shake mine, and then took Andrew’s. “I haven’t seen you outside too often lately, darling.”
Andrew’s head whipped to glower at Chet, but I ignored him. “It’s July in Texas, Chet,” I explained. “That’s about it.”
“Well, all right, but I’m starting to miss you, that’s all,” Chet said. Andrew’s glower intensified. “Have you been able to find an
y rhyme or reason to those break-ins yet?”
“Not—”
“Break-ins?” Andrew interrupted, sitting up straighter and joining the conversation. “There have been more?”
“Boy, you’re behind.” Chet grinned with pride and winked down at me, completely ignoring Andrew. “I tell you what, Michelle. If you win, I’m going to do something special for you in congratulations.”
“Before or after your suspension without pay?” Andrew wondered innocently.
“Not too worried about it,” Chet whispered with a wink. “Sheriff Langhorn knows there’s no such thing as unnecessary force with some people. Now, g
ood luck out there,” he said, pointing to me as he trod to his side of the courtroom.
The judge entered from his chambers but Andrew leaned over and hissed to me, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“And what would you have done?” I wondered coolly, coming to a stand for the judge. Andrew stood beside me and the trial began. It was an easy case, considering the evidence we had at our disposal.
At one point, the judge asked me to define to him who Lola was. “The woman mentioned in the footage,” he noted. “Who is she?”
“Mr. Bogart’s significant other,” I explained smoothly. No one could have guessed that there was a little throb beneath my sweetheart neckline.
“Excuse me, your honor, but that’s incorrect,” Andrew said, standing. “Lola Haynes is my ex of five years, and no one of consequence in the discussion.”
“Mm,” the judge grumbled. “Your legal aid needs to get her facts straight, then.”
“I wish she would,” Andrew agreed. I scowled at him.
The judge decried that Andrew was not guilty, and he opted out of countersuit. It should have been a giddy moment, filled with victory and pride, but it wasn’t. It was just another victory for another client, like the others. I’d still go home to the same old house and follow my evening routine.
“They used to call me Honest Chet when I was a kid, but I guess it only applies to women,” Chet whispered, unsheathing a gleaming string of white pearls from a velvet slip. “Surprise.”
“Chet!” I gasped. As a child, I had been even more girly than I was now, and I loved pearls most of all. Maybe I’d been right when I said that he knew me. Maybe he did. “How did you know that I was going to win?”
“He didn’t,” Andrew seethed. “The pearls were yours either way.”
“I knew you were going to win,” Chet insisted, looping the cool necklace around my throat and fastening the little hook. “Because you’re brilliant, darling. Pearls to match.”
My eyes flashed to Andrew and I watched him seethe as Chet stepped away and marveled at the necklace dangling just above my breasts.
“Marvelous,” he purred. “You’re the most beautiful girl in Pelham, Michelle Harper.”
“You’re too kind,” I told Chet.
“How would you feel about celebrating your victory over me tonight?” he wondered. “The first of many, I’m sure.”
The mood dampened a little as I realized that the only honest answer I could give was no. I lightly unhooked the pearl necklace and let it dangle in the air, returning to him.
“I think this might be a conflict of interest,” I said, proud of myself for slipping the noose so gracefully. The pearls tinkled into a puddle in his palm. “Thank you, though.”
Chet accepted my rejection with a fallen face and left Andrew and I to gather our things. Andrew held every door for me as we exited the courthouse, spilling into bright afternoon sunlight and an elegant courtyard.
“How’s your car doing?” Andrew wondered.
My engine overheated last week and I still hadn’t taken it to anybody. I was determined not to crawl to Andrew for help. I’d taken an Uber to the courthouse and I was going to get around to fixing everything... eventually.
“It’s fine,” I answered. If he wanted to walk me all the way to my supposed car, I’d tell him I was trying to conserve my carbon footprint. “I don’t need you to drive me anywhere, Andrew, but thanks.”
He stopped and I glanced back at him, then turned and slowly sauntered closer. “What?”
“It’s just been a long time since I’ve heard you say my name.”
I smiled softly—saddened, in spite of everything—and said, “Then let me give you a few to hold you over.” I placed my hand gently against his chest and I could feel his heartbeat surging on the other side of his shirt. How incredible. I placed my lips close to his ear and breathed, “Andrew... Andrew... Andrew.”
I knew how sexy it sounded and I did it anyway. I felt reckless, standing this close to him, wearing my pumps and my little wiggle dress, him in that suit.
Andrew gripped my wrist hard in his hand and I gave a little gasp. “Get in my car,” he commanded.
“Um,” I said. “Okay.” My Uber driver would be able to survive being stood up this once.
I had to have known what was going to happen next, but I couldn’t say no. It was just like before when Chet told me all about Lola and Andrew and I fucked anyway, against my bookcase and on the floor of my office. I trembled a little as we drove back to Withers Community. I was like an addict who had broken the habit, and then, suddenly, found herself face-to-face with a little dust of her favorite drug. Would she be able to stop? Would she be able to say no?
* * *
Twenty minutes later, I slid my finished martini across the bar, and Andrew scooped it up and refilled it, then slid it back. He had a bar in his finished basement, a man-cave that must have taken years of curation.
This was like some roleplaying game. I thought he was going to fuck me as soon as I walked through the door—and I knew I would have let him—but he didn’t. He offered me a victory drink in his basement and didn’t come closer than a foot radius at any time. He hadn’t even accidentally brushed my hand once. He was playing the bartender; I was the patron. And the people we used to be, the people who had fucked each other, were just not involved.
I felt a little ache as I sipped at my second martini.
Maybe I’d been hoping he was going to grab my bun and rip it loose as soon as we crossed the threshold, like some kinky wedding night, but no dice.
“How many break-ins have there been?” Andrew wondered as he sipped at his own tall, amber glass of beer.
“Two,” I lied. “Or three.” I’m a terrible liar.
“In a month? Why aren’t the police watching your goddamn house? What good is that chump, Chet, if he can’t do anything to help?” A vein stood out on his temple and my heart softened. Andrew was sweet.
No, he’s not. He wasn’t sweet when he had Lola’s tits in his hands.
Good point.
“They say they’re not getting the alerts from my security system,” I explained. “I’m just going to get a new one when I can. On the bright side, though, you know, it’s just some teenagers or something, having a laugh. If they’re taking anything, it’s just little treasures that are personal to me. They’re not taking valuables.”
Andrew leaned his elbows on the bar and his massive paw of a hand spread across mine. “Doesn’t it alarm you that they’re taking little personal items of yours? That’s the kind of thing a psychopath does.”
I looked down at his warm hand on mine. “Um,” I said. If he wanted me to listen to him, he shouldn’t have touched me because now I couldn’t think about anything else. My head swam.
“Stay with me,” Andrew coaxed. “Stay with me until you get your new security system.”
“Andrew,” I chastised him, withdrawing my hand from beneath his and straightening my stance. “I can’t just move in with you. You know that.”
“Why not?”
“What would Lola think?” It fired out of my mouth and I couldn’t call it back—and did I want to? Didn’t I want to have this fight?
“Lola would think that it was a completely normal thing for a man and his girlfriend to do,” he explained, his tone mild and slow, like h
e was teaching me, not fighting with me. “She knows about you, Michelle. And—in spite of me—she’s let a couple boyfriends move into her house in the past, too.”
I furrowed my brow at him. “She knows about me? I’m not your girlfriend, Andrew. I’m your lawyer.”
His gray-green eyes darted away and he redirected his attention to his beer, idly running his fingers over that instead. “I know that. But when she first met you—at the wedding—I told her that you were my girlfriend.”
At mere mention of that horrible moment, my stomach rolled and I realized I desperately did not want to talk about it after all. I just didn’t want to be with him. That was all. It was too much, and I’d already said I didn’t want to go back to caring. Wasn’t that still true? Wasn’t it truer than ever? I just wanted to work. That was my life now and I loved it.
“Michelle,” Andrew said, and I felt the chilly kiss of his beer-frosted finger on my cheek. My eyes flashed up to his and held there. Every part of me was frozen except for my heart. I didn’t blink. I didn’t breathe. But my heart was going like a drum pedal. “I was looking for you. That was why I was in the church. But Lola—she was jealous. She never acts like that. She never wanted me again after she had me. That’s who she is. But when she saw me with you—”
“She just had to have you again,” I said, “and you couldn’t resist her boobs.”
“I could easily resist,” he insisted, “but you walked out when I was pulling her top back up! She was the one coming on to me. You have to believe me. There’s nothing between her and me. I’ve been alone all month. Before I met you, I was alone for five years. And—if you’re really done with me—” His eyes searched mine, wincing beneath their thick brows. “—I’ll be alone for five more. Don’t you remember?” He passed his hand back and forth between us, indicating something passing in the space. “You said never. I said never, too. Never.”
God, he made me feel weak. My eyelashes drooped involuntarily, and I’m sure he interpreted that as a signal that I wanted to be kissed, even though I didn’t. I really didn’t. I needed to get out of here. I could walk. The fresh air would do me good.