by Eve Stone
I shook my head violently. “No, no, no. It’s not you, Lance.”
He sat back on his knees, looking confused. “Then what is going on?” His voice had an edge to it. He was growing frustrated and I couldn’t blame him. I had done this. I let myself get carried away and in turn, I was hurting the one person who had always tried to protect me. I was a horrible person.
“I’m so sorry, Lance. Everything with my dad and what we have to do has me acting out. I don’t think now is the time to be doing this,” I said, motioning between us.
“This might be our only time, Gwen. Who knows what’ll happen in that place.”
I put my hands on my hips and glared at Lance. What was this? Hadn’t he been the one insisting that all would be well? Is this some sort of mind game he’s playing to convince me to sleep with him? This wasn’t Lance. He’d never do such a thing.
“Weren’t you the one who felt confident about this mission? Why would you say something like that? Are you trying to talk me into sleeping with you?”
He groaned, running his hands roughly down his face. “Of course not. I’d never, Gwen,” he nearly growled in frustration. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I got carried away,” he said shaking his head. “You seemed so into it and then you just…stopped. It’s killing me.”
My eyes closed and I blew out a harsh breath. I never wanted to send the wrong messages to Lance, and I surely didn’t want to take things that far. I’d done this. It was on me.
“This is my fault,” I admitted. “I said I would try, but right now isn’t the time for that,” I said pointing at where we had just been going at it. “It’s too fast and we have things that we really need to concentrate on right now. Starting with sleep.”
“Come here,” he said, dragging me into his chest and lying us down, back to front.
“Now sleep.”
I always felt safe in Lance’s arms, but right now it just felt wrong. The air was stifled and words went unsaid. There was no doubt he was holding back, and it hurt to have this distance between us.
“Lance?” I whispered. “Please don’t be angry. I’m only trying to slow things down so that we can focus,” I tried hard to explain where my head was at and to turn this awkwardness that had fallen between us around.
Lance sighed into my hair. “I know, Gwennie…but,” his words trailed off. He took a deep breath. “Tell me one thing,” his voice caught, full of emotion. I tensed, fearing what was to come. “Tell me this isn’t about Tristan.”
I went stiff in his arms, hating that he brought him up, and hating even more that a large part of me had to admit it wasn’t just about being tired and needing to focus. My mind was going a million miles a minute, contemplating all the things that Evie had said.
I had been pondering whether I had misjudged Tristan and his actions. Was I pushing away the one person I had ever been in love with, because I was scared and refusing to hear him out?
My eyes squeezed shut tightly, trying to push those thoughts down. This moment was about Lance and me and to be thinking about Tristan wasn’t fair. But neither was saying I was willing to try when I kept thinking about someone else.
More importantly, I could not be compromised in the next couple of days. I had to stay focused. Boy problems were not paramount to my survival but getting the spellbook back was. As much as I did not want to lie to Lance, I also didn’t want to hurt him, and the truth was I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted at this point.
“It’s not about him,” I fibbed. “He has nothing to do with you and I. This is me needing to keep my head on straight.”
“Okay,” he acquiesced, pulling me closer into his chest and placing a kiss to the back of my head. “I love you, Gwennie.”
“I love you too, Lance.”
It wasn’t a lie. I would always love him. The question was, would it ever be anything more than friendship?
Chapter Sixteen
Holly, Mallory, Lance, Tristan and I had been sitting in meetings all morning with the coven. Evie had shared what little knowledge she had pertaining to Olengally Hall, and it was not making me feel any better about the task ahead.
Most of it she had already shared with me, but a few additional points she had failed to mention included the fact that the halls of Olengally were haunted. She explained that it had been a psychiatric hospital, where patients had been gravely mistreated. Tortured even.
“Great. So, not only are we going to be dealing with spirits, but they are going to be hostile,” Mallory said caustically.
“They’re definitely not going to be Casper,” Evie joked and none of us laughed. “They won’t make it easy on you,” she admitted. “From what I understand, they like to play games and get into your head.”
She let us all ruminate on that point before she continued. “The only way to get out of there with your mind intact, is to focus and not pay them any attention.”
“Well, that settles it,” Holly scoffed. “I guess I need to wear a helmet, earbuds, and walk through the entire hall with my eyes closed,” she snorted. “Yep sounds about possible.”
Lance laughed. “Oh, come on, Holly. Don’t tell me you’re scared of a few ghosts.”
“Mr. Druitt, I can assure you, you won’t be laughing come tomorrow,” Evie scolded.
“Even the bravest can be knocked down by an angry ghost and keep in mind, these beings were tortured. They’re malevolent, and they’re out for blood. To them, you may as well have been the person who tormented them while they were alive,” she said walking toward Lance and leaning down so that they were eye to eye. “They will get inside your head, and have you seeing the most horrific images.” You may watch as your family is slaughtered in front of you,” Lance flinched at her words. “Flesh peeled away from their bodies, as they cry out for you to help. But there’s nothing for you to do because it’s not real. But…your mind won’t know that,” she finished, before standing and turning her back on a pale-faced Lance.
“What do we do?” Mallory said, sounding terrified.
“You depend on each other,” Evie advised. “It’ll take every person in this room to come pull one of you out of the fetal position you fall into. It’s that serious,” she turned once more to face Lance. “I urge all of you to treat it as such.”
Lance gulped, clearly realizing that this was serious.
“Look out for each other. Have each other’s backs, because you’ll all need help at one point or another. None of you is safe.”
Not one of us said a word. I think we were all in a state of shock at her macabre depiction. I blinked once then twice to try to remove the image of Lance’s mother being skinned alive.
“Now that we have the plan in place for when you get there, it’s time to train,” Clara said from the corner where she’d been sitting, watching as Evie scared us all to death. “I have a feeling none of you are in shape.”
Nobody made a comment after Lance had been thoroughly chastised moments ago. “We’re going to break you up into pairings of two, and each pair is going to train in different rooms,” Clara explained coming to a standing position. “Holly and Lance, you’ll be down the hall, third door on the right, working with Olive. Go,” she commanded and they both hastened to their feet and left the room. “Mallory, you can train with me in the room next door.”
Evie’s eyes fell on me before looking over to Tristan. Great, of all the pairings. Why am I Surprised?
“You two will be with me,” she said.
An hour of running and burpees had me hunched over, ready to throw up.
“Do you want the good news or the bad news?” Evie asked.
I put my hand up to stop her, as one more dry heave wrecked through me. I slowly eased myself to standing and blew out a deep breath. “Proceed,” I said, mouth-watering.
“The good news is, you are not as out of shape as I feared.”
“The bad news?” I drew out.
“You’re not in as good of shape as you’ll need to be to out-run g
hosts. Which means we need to start focusing on your abilities,” she explained. “If you can’t out-run them, you need to outsmart them.”
“And how the hell am I supposed to do that?” I whined, sounding immature and bratty, but Evie ignored me.
“Teleporting for starters,” she instructed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“Well, that sucks because I can’t teleport,” I advised her. “I can only dream walk.”
She shook her head. “Not true. You used to teleport all the time when you were a child. It was one of the very first abilities you showed. It drove your father crazy,” she chuckled at some memory that I was not privy to, because all of that had been kept from me. But I wasn’t bitter. Nope. Not at all.
“The first time you did it, you were at the beach, and your father had feared you drowned when he couldn’t find you. He about pulled every hair out of his head searching for you, until you finally showed up,” she shook her head laughing to herself at whatever she was remembering about that time. Had she been there or was this just relayed to her? As curious as I was, I didn’t ask. It didn’t matter in the scheme of things.
“You teleported yourself to a park in Maine. It was one that you had visited once before.”
I searched my memory for what she might’ve been talking about, but I didn’t remember any park and I certainly did not remember teleporting or the beach. I had very few good memories from my childhood where my dad was concerned.
“You wouldn’t remember,” she said as if reading my mind. “Your father went to great lengths to suppress your memory.”
I rolled my eyes in frustration. “A great deal of good it’s doing us now.”
“He did—” Evie cut in, but I stopped her, throwing up my hands.
“He did it to protect me. Blah blah blah. I’ve heard it all before. Let’s move on,” I suggest annoyed. “How do I do this?”
Evie frowned at my behavior but moved forward. “It’s very simple. Simply picture the place that you want to be. Concentrate really hard and you’ll be there.”
“No words?” I asked and she shook her head no. “Nothing?” I press.
“Nope. That’s it.”
“That seems pretty dangerous. What if I’m just walking down the street one day and I think about…oh, I don’t know, the Bronx zoo? I’ll just disappear in daylight out in the open for everyone to see?”
She chuckled at my obvious distress. I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my eyes at her laughing at me. She cleared her throat seeing my mounting anger. “It doesn’t exactly work like that. You really have to concentrate, and you really have to think about wanting to be there in your mind,” she explained. “Your power source lies within. We’re not witches who cast spells. We don’t use the earth’s elements either. Our power comes from within. Draw upon that ability, with anything that you do.”
“I’ve heard sorcerers use phrases. Why haven’t I learned those?”
“You have when you took Latin,” she said pointedly. “Latin phrases accompanying your thoughts can help the process happen faster, but it’s not necessary.”
One question answered but more keep popping up. There is so much I still have to learn about the world that I grew up in and it’s ridiculous. I attended a sorcerer school, and yet my knowledge is still so small. How can that be?
My father made it so.
“I’ve never been to this hall before,” I said trying to move along from thoughts of everything my parents did. I have Evie here and she is willing to fill me in. I’ll use her for a crash course. “If I need to transport, I won’t know where to transport myself to.”
She nodded, smiling. “That’s why it’s going to be extremely important that when you get in there, you pay attention to your surroundings. Take in the details. Worst case? Zap yourself back outside. Anything to get away from the ghosts.”
That was easy enough. Zapping myself back outside I could do. “You need to get in and get out quickly. Transporting anywhere should only be used in
the event that you can’t block out the specters in any other manner. You and Tristan need to stay together, Gwen. It’s going to be extremely important.”
“Ugh,” I grumbled. “Any other awkward positions you want to throw me into?”
Evie placed her hand on my cheek in a motherly gesture. “He can help you. These are things that he has practiced. I decided when I took him away that he needed something to divert his attention. He had so much anger and practicing his abilities helped,” she smiled sadly. “We were careful not to allow the council to see how strong he actually was, but he’s had time to really master things that you haven’t even attempted. He can transport you with him by simply touching you.”
A shiver ran down my spine and my body warmed at the thought of Tristan putting his hands on me. Dear God, what was wrong with me? I was acting like a teenage girl with hormones on overload the past twenty-four hours.
“Stay close to him at all times,” Evie said, pulling me out of my wayward thoughts. “He’ll keep you safe.”
“She’s right,” Tristan’s masculine timber sounded from behind me. When I turned, our eyes met. “I will keep you safe.
My mind screamed for me to go to him. It was as though an invisible magnet was trying to pull us toward each other and my body was a prisoner to it.
“Ah, Tristan. Good,” Evie said, pulling us out of the spell we were momentarily under.
“I’m glad you’re finished. I’d like you to teleport with Gwen.”
“Oh, no,” I shook my head. “We don’t need to practice that.” I didn’t want to go anywhere with him. I was afraid of what foolish thing I might do. Given my body’s current reaction to his voice, I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t lay myself naked at his feet and beg him to take me. Nope. Not a good idea. “I pass on the practice. I’m sure I can do it.”
“This is very important, Gwen. I don’t think you understand that this is not something to put off. You need to be sure that you have this mastered. Not only your life, but the other’s lives depend on it too.”
Nothing is worse than having other’s lives put into your hands. It wasn’t fair, but I was quickly learning that life seldom was. Surely, I could put on my big girl panties and work in close proximity with Tristan without making a fool of myself for the sake of the others. Right?
“Fine. What do we have to do?”
“I’m going to have Tristan teleport you somewhere of his choosing, and then he is going to instruct you on how to get back,” she said, directed toward Tristan.
He nodded in understanding. “Take my hand, Gwen,” he instructed.
My eyes bore into his, saying as much as any words could. Can I trust you? Will you hurt me?
“Put your hand in mine. I’ve got you,” he said in response and it was all I needed. I grabbed ahold of his hand, and electricity shot up my arm, sending warmth through my entire body. A sense of peace that hadn’t been there in a while enveloped me, and I didn’t have time to think too much into it. One minute we were in the hall in the coven’s mansion, and the next, we were in my old treehouse.
“Of all the places, this is where you brought me?” I said looking up at Tristan, wearily. He shrugged. “Some of my best memories occurred in this spot.”
I dropped his hand as if it were on fire and took a step away from him. “Yeah, well that was a long time ago,” I said, a little too hostile. I turned my back on him and closed my eyes. I was so confused. I didn’t know whether I was still supposed to be holding a grudge and being distrustful, or whether I was overreacting and just being rude.
I didn’t know where Tristan and I stood, and as much as I wanted to ask that question, I
thought better of it. It wasn’t the time and if I were being honest, I knew where we stood in Tristan’s eyes. It was me who kept holding back. I was the one holding grudges and all he was trying to do was help me.
“I missed this place,” I said, trying for honesty. “Some of my fa
vorite memories are from being up here with you and Lance.”
Tristan frowned at my mention of Lance, but he didn’t say anything.
“It’s falling apart,” I said, sadly. Looking around at the rotting wood and peeling wallpaper that Tristan’s grandmother had given us to hang, I wanted to cry. This was the one place in my childhood where I felt loved. It was my safety net and Tristan was my anchor. So much had changed, and this decaying house further proved that point.
“Like you said, it’s been years. I’m surprised it’s still standing,” Tristan said.
I nodded. “Maybe my dad did love me after all?” I chuckled, but it lacked humor.
“Gwen, my mom swears that he does,” Tristan assured.
“Can you believe her?” I asked, looking at him skeptically. If it wasn’t Tristan that was deceitful, then it was her and my father. I didn’t know who to trust anymore.
“I do,” He said sounding sure. “I don’t love what they did, Gwen, but I understand it. It was nothing less than what I did when I left,” he bit his bottom lip. “We do what we have to, no matter how hard it is, to protect the people we love.”
“Please, don’t say that,” I beg, dropping my eyes from his. “Being here with you is hard enough, Tristan. I don’t want to think about everything that we had and lost. There’s too much riding on tomorrow.”
He took a step closer to me, and I took another back. He put his hands up in surrender.
“I won’t come any closer. Just…hear me out,” he said, sounding frustrated. “Please,” he pleaded.
“We really need to get back.”
“Five minutes,” he implored. I didn’t say anything more and he continued. “I know that everyone that you love, or have cared about, has hurt you. And I know I’m no different,” he groaned, rubbing his temples harshly. “I’m not asking for you to tell me you love me, and that we can be together. I just want to hear you say that you trust me,” he moved toward me, grabbing my hands in his and bringing them to his chest. “It’s the most important thing to me, Gwen. I need to know that no matter what, you realize what I did wasn’t to hurt you,” he looked me square in the eyes and I wanted to turn away. The moment was too much. I felt too raw. “I’m in love with you. I always have been, and I always will be. Although it will kill me if you never return that love, I can at least live a happy life knowing I have your trust and friendship.”