by Fredrick, MJ
The woman smiled, her dark eyes warm. “Well, good luck to you.”
“Thanks.”
Lacey bounced on the escalators, resisting the urge to hurry up them. She had time, enough to duck into the restroom and freshen her makeup.
Fortunately, the area at the top of the escalators had seating, and after she visited the restroom, she found a seat and tried to relax. She pulled out her phone, but couldn't concentrate on anything, her gaze continuing to flick to the arrivals board.
On time. On time. On time.
Even though his plane wasn't scheduled to land yet, every time a surge of people came through the gate, she tensed and watched faces, but of course he wasn't among them.
Time passed so slowly. She and Beck could have stayed at the mall a little longer. But no, the waiting area was filling, and she wouldn't have a place to sit, and she wouldn't have had time to go fix her face.
And then the status of his flight changed to “arrived.” Her heart raced. She couldn't sit still any longer, even though she knew it would take some time for everyone to get off the plane, to get over here. Her pulse thundered in her ears when she saw the crowd coming forward, and she scanned them all, looking for him, for the way he moved, for his face, wondering how much he’d changed in the past few months.
If he’d changed as much as she had.
But she didn't see him. Finally, in her desperation, she stepped forward and touched a woman’s arm.
“Is this flight 3592?”
“Yes, it is.” But the woman was in her own world, pulling out her phone, wrangling a child and two bags. Lacey stepped back and let her pass.
The crowd thinned, then was gone. Maybe he’d stopped at the restroom. Maybe he’d stopped for something to eat. He didn’t know she was here.
But thinking of that, who was picking him up? His family wasn't waiting for him, and she double-checked by going down the escalator and coming back up, avoiding eye contact with the hospitality worker.
So who was supposed to pick him up.
Checking her own phone battery, which was running low—her charger was deep in her overnight bag, and she didn't want to dig it out in the middle of the airport—she called his mother’s number.
“Hi, Mrs. Boniface. This is Lacey. Didn't you say Jesse was going to be on flight 3592?”
“Oh, hi, Lacey, yes, that’s what he told me last week. But then he called last night and said he wasn't going to come to Texas this time.”
“He wasn't going to what?” Lacey’s legs weakened, and she gripped the wall so she wouldn't drop to the floor.
“He called last night and said he wasn't going to come to Texas on his leave this time. I was disappointed, but he has his own life now. I can’t exactly tell him what to do.”
“Mrs. Boniface. I’m sitting here in the San Antonio Airport waiting for him. I came all the way from Broken Wheel to meet him. I...came all this way.”
“I’m so sorry, Lacey. I didn't know you’d come, or I would have let you know.”
“But you gave me the flight information. Didn't you have some idea I’d be here?”
“I thought maybe you’d track it or something on one of those apps.”
“No. I thought, you know, he’d want to see me.”
“No, he said he’s staying in North Carolina this time. He’ll be back in six months, he said.”
“The baby will be here by then.” She couldn't stop the wail that emerged from her throat.
“The what, now?”
“The baby. I’m already about four and a half months.”
“Pregnant?”
“Yes, pregnant!” Oh God, had he not even told his mother she was pregnant? “The baby’s due the end of October. Jesse didn't tell you?”
“There has to be a reason he didn't tell me. Maybe he wanted to tell me in person.”
“Maybe.” But then why didn't he come? What was keeping him in North Carolina? “Do you have his cell number, please? I want to make sure I have the right number.”
His mother hesitated. “I’ll tell him to call you.”
“You won’t give me his number?” Lacey was incredulous.
“I’m sure if he wanted you to have it, he would have given it to you.”
What kind of mother would say that about her son? “You heard me say I’m pregnant with his child? Your grandchild? I just want to know what went wrong that he didn't come when he said he was going to.”
“Maybe you’re the reason,” she said, and disconnected.
Now Lacey did drop to the floor, her bag hitting with a thud beside her.
She pulled up the last number she had for Jesse, and lo and behold, it connected.
“I’m in San Antonio. Where are you?” She was beyond caring if she stepped on his feelings right now. Her own were laid raw, for anyone walking past to see.
“Hey, I’m in North Carolina. What are you doing in San Antonio?”
“You said you were coming here before you came to see me, and I didn't want to wait so I asked your mom for the flight information, and now you’re not here.”
“No, I told you I needed some time with my boys. I’m not making it to Texas this trip.”
“You’re not making it to Texas. At all.”
“No. Why did you come wait for me?”
She drew in a deep breath. “Call me crazy, I thought you might want to see me before I got as big as a house.”
“Lace, look. I’m not ready for all that. I don't want to be a dad yet. I have too much I want to do before I get tied down. Maybe in like five years or so.”
“So I’ll just tell your kid when he’s in kindergarten, his dad might show up?” Rage squeezed her throat shut.
“This wasn't my decision, Lacey. I would have told you to end the pregnancy, but you didn’t really give me a chance, did you? Is it too late now?”
“Of course it’s too late now. Do you think I’m going to end my pregnancy to please you?” But of course he did. How much of her life had she changed to please him? Her entire personality had changed to accommodate his moods. “No. No, this is my child, and I’ll raise him without you, that’s fine. In fact, please don't come to see him. We’re going to be fine all on our own.”
She was shaking so hard she dropped the phone when she disconnected, and the screen cracked, corner to corner. Tears sprang to her eyes but she fought them back, unwilling to make a spectacle of herself in the middle of the airport.
But she needed to get out of here. She needed to hide in a hole somewhere and give in to her rage.
The only person she knew in San Antonio was Beck. God, she didn't want to admit to Beck that she had been such an idiot. She didn't want to admit to him that she wasn't good enough to get her boyfriend to come to see her.
She didn't want to cry in front of him.
But she didn't know what else to do.
She picked up her phone and carefully dialed on the broken screen. He answered on the third ring.
“He didn't come,” was all she could manage.
“I’ll be there in half an hour,” he countered. “Want me to come in?”
“I’ll wait on the sidewalk.” Where she’d seen so many others waiting, people who had been somewhere, been on a journey.
Yeah, well, she’d been on a journey, too, hadn’t she? A stupid foolish journey. And she and her child were going to see the world differently because of it.
She disconnected and stood before slinging her overnight bag over her shoulder and trekking down the escalator. She made the mistake of looking a the hospitality woman, who frowned.
“The surprise didn't work out?”
“Not the way I wanted, no.” She was the one who’d been surprised. And hurt. So deeply hurt. Stupid, because she’d seen the signs. All the signs. He hadn’t called her since she told him she was pregnant. He hadn’t been all that excited about the sonogram. Why hadn’t she read the signs? Why had she fooled herself into thinking seeing her in person would make a difference?
/> “I’m sorry, sweetie. You want—can I get you a water or a soda or something?”
“No, I’m fine, but thank you. My friend is coming to get me.”
“Why don't you wait in here where it’s cool until your friend gets here? I remember expecting, and feeling like I was carrying around my own personal furnace. Terrible to be pregnant in the summer.”
Lacey hadn’t thought she was showing that much, but she appreciated the words. “Thanks. It hasn’t gotten to that point yet, thankfully.”
“Oh, it will. And summer’s barely started. Are you from here?”
“West Texas.”
“Lord. I imagine it’s worse out there.”
“We’re used to it.”
“Lived there all your life?”
“The past fifteen years.”
“On purpose?”
“My dad was stationed out at the Air Force base and fell in love with the town. I stay because he’s there.”
“It’s good to have family. I lost my dad when I was just a girl, but I was his princess while he was living.”
Lacey didn't consider herself his princess, but she counted herself lucky to be close to her dad, to have him in her life. Jesse didn't have that, and she thought that was part of the reason he was reluctant to become a dad.
Not that she wanted to offer him an excuse. No. Men who didn't have father figures became fathers all the time. He was selfish, plain and simple, which she knew about him anyway.
Yeah, all the signs had been there. She just hadn’t allowed herself to see it.
BECK DIDN'T KNOW WHAT he expected to see when he pulled up to the airport, scanning the sidewalk for Lacey. Maybe she’d be curled in a ball crying. Maybe she’d be pissed, stomping up and down waiting for him.
He did not expect to see her walking out of the sliding doors, laughing and waving at someone behind her. She adjusted her bag on her shoulder, gripped a plastic water bottle in her hand and marched toward the truck, her expression sobering as she opened the door.
“I’m so sorry about this,” she said as she climbed in, tossing her bag over the seat into the back. Her tone was more resigned than distressed, which surprised him. “I should never have dragged you into this. I should never have tried a surprise. I—now I just don't know what to do.”
He didn't know if she meant right now or in the long run, with her baby. “It’s no problem. Let’s go get a hotel room and figure things out.” Not that he knew what to tell her to do, any more than she knew.
“A hotel room? I don't know about that.”
“I know I’m not driving back tonight. I still have some business to take care of.”
“I understand, but I don't think I can—no, you’re right. We need to get settled so I can think. I just don't know what to think right now.” She pulled out her phone. “And I cracked my screen.”
“What’d you do? Throw it?”
“Dropped it. My fingers weren’t working great after I talked to him.”
“So you talked to him?”
“Yeah, he isn’t coming to Texas at all this time. Apparently his mom found out last night but she didn't tell me. To be fair, no one knew I was coming to San Antonio to see him, but...”
“But you’d think he’d want to see you since he hasn’t been here in months.”
“You’d think.” She sank back against the seat.
Beck wanted to know what the man had said, but he wasn't going to push. She wasn't as upset as he had expected, and he didn't want to push her over any edge, especially since they were going into a hotel and he didn't want her to look so emotional.
“What do you think, maybe a chain hotel? Those are pretty reliable.”
“Whatever you think.”
“I have some points for the rooms we can use, if we go to that one.”
“I can—you know, that would be nice. Thanks.” Her shoulders dropped and he wondered how much she’d been worrying about money. Of course she had been. She was going to be a single mom now.
At least, he suspected the dude wasn't going to be part of her life, if he bailed on her this visit.
“Once we get settled, we’ll go out for a nice dinner. My treat.”
“You didn't get your stuff done, the whole reason you came here.”
Not the whole reason, but he didn't say. “No, not yet, but stores are open later here, and there’s always tomorrow. And you're going to need to get your screen fixed, too, while we’re here. I mean, you were going to stay here a couple of days anyway, right? You’re not in any big hurry to get back?”
“No, I’m off until Monday. God, what a waste of days.”
“You couldn't have known that.”
“I was so sure of myself. If I’d only let him know what I’d planned, I could have saved us both a lot of trouble.”
Both Beck and her, or both Jesse and her? She seemed more angry at herself than at Jesse, and Beck wasn't sure what to make of that.
“You were being a good girlfriend, spontaneous and romantic. Don't blame yourself.”
“Oh, I don’t. I mean, I do, for wasting this time, but no, I’m full-on pissed at Jesse. You know when his next leave is? Thanksgiving. The baby will be almost a month old at Thanksgiving. Not that...” She choked, then straightened herself again with that determination he’d come to admire. At the same time, he wished she would let herself be a little more vulnerable around him. He could hold her up. “Not that he’s going to come see us then, either. He let me know today he’s not ready to be a dad.”
Rage roared in Beck’s brain. “He let you know today.”
“I...you know, if I start talking about it, I’m going to get upset and I really don't want to do that in public. Let me get to my room and rage-cry for a bit.”
He nodded. “I get you.”
“Do you?” She looked over at him. “Would you ever—I mean, if you didn't want to be with someone, you’d let them know, right? Not just ghost them? Not just hide from them? Because that’s what he’s doing, the coward. He’s hiding from me. Do you know?” Her words strangled a bit. “Do you know that his mother didn't even know I was pregnant? And she said it was my fault he didn't come to Texas. She’s just like him.” She pressed her hands to her temples, then let one slide over her belly on her way back to her lap.
He had to call on every ounce of self control to stop himself from reaching over and taking her hand. He wasn't sure how she’d react, so he didn’t.
He didn't know which would be the best hotel—the problem with a city the size of San Antonio, a lot of options were available. And he wanted a nice choice for her, someplace with a big tub she could soak in, a big bed, a nice view. And he wasn't lying about having points. He earned a lot on the road.
He pulled off the highway and into the parking lot of a restaurant.
She sat up beside him. “What are we doing? I thought we were going to a hotel first?”
“We are, but I’m going to look on my phone for the locations in town, see which one has the best reviews.”
“Oh, good idea.”
She pulled out her own phone while he scrolled, but he didn't know what she was doing. Texting, looked like, but who? Her dad? Poppy? What was she saying to them? Wouldn't she rather talk to them? Especially since her screen was cracked.
Of course she probably didn't want to talk to them while she was in the truck with him. She probably wanted to wait until she was alone.
He scrolled through the rating app and found just what he was looking for. He tucked his phone away, and put the truck in drive.
“You found one? That fast?” she asked.
“Yeah, my phone likes the reception around here,” he said with a grin, then wondered if he should be smiling when she was hurting. “You’ll like this place, I bet.”
The hotel he wanted wasn't close, and he had to set up his navigation app to find the best route through the thickening traffic.
“Do you think it’s like this every day?” Lacey asked, pressed back aga
inst the seat, her hands by her sides.
“Probably. This is one of the fastest growing areas of the country, and all the construction slows everything down even more.”
“We’ve probably passed half a dozen hotels we could stay at.”
“Believe me, you’re going to like this one best.”
Finally they reached the turn-in, just past the worst of the construction, where the streets were torn up and the sides of the roads were ground up, piles of rock in the median. He hoped they had a better view from their hotel rooms.
If they could get rooms. He should have checked that on the app too. But summer meant families on vacation, and this destination was ideal, since it had a lazy river in addition to the pools and recreation area.
He parked the truck, and when she got out, dragging her bag out behind her, her mouth was open as she looked up at the limestone facade.
“I don't think your points are going to pay for this.”
“You’d be underestimating how much I travel,” he laughed, grabbing his own bag from the back seat.
“I don't feel like I belong here.” She looked down at her sundress, a little rumpled from the trip.
“You belong here just fine, and they have a really nice pool area. In fact, I think they have a pretty good restaurant, too, so we don't have to get out and face the traffic again.” Truth be told, he had had his fill of driving today.
“That actually sounds really good,” she said on a sigh as they walked up the wide steps to the front of the hotel. “I don't have a bathing suit, but you think they’d let me go in the water in shorts?”
“I don't see why not. But they probably have a gift shop, too.”
“Yeah, for an arm and a leg, probably, and probably not maternity.”
“I think you could probably get away with just a little larger size for now.”
She shrugged and let him hold the door for her. “So the irony is, I wouldn't be here if I wasn't pregnant. But I’m pregnant, and now I can’t drink to calm down. Kind of sucks.”
“I imagine. That’s why I’m thinking the pool would be a nice outlet.” He led the way to the desk, and asked the clerk if two rooms were available.
“You’re in luck. We had a cancelation. But I don't think I have two rooms near each other. I have a suite, though.”