by Fredrick, MJ
“Beck.” The soft word in the silence drew everyone’s attention to him, which hadn’t been her intention at all.
“You don't know her,” he said.
“What are you talking about? I’m her mother.”
“And you see her, what, twice a year? You don't know her. You don't know what kind of woman she is day-to-day. The generosity she has with her friends, with her patients. You don't know how she interacts with people. You think that she’s pregnant because she didn't go to church? You’re putting that on her and her dad? I think that’s a pretty terrible thing for a mother to say, and I’m pretty much an expert on terrible things mothers can say.”
“I’m sorry.” Joyce’s tone was sincere as she turned to Lacey. “I shouldn’t have said that. I was lashing out and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. You chose to stay, and I shouldn’t resent that.”
Anger started bubbling up in Lacey, too. “You resent that I stayed, and I resent that you left, so I guess we’re even.”
“I couldn't stay here.”
“We’ve had this conversation.”
“This weekend has reminded me I was right to leave. I would have lost my mind here with nothing to do, nothing in common with any of these people.”
Lacey’s stomach twinged. This was the very thing she feared would happen with Beck. He would remember the things he loved that he’d left behind, and he’d leave, too. She was strong. She could handle it. But she didn't want to feel that pain. Not if she could avoid it.
“Mom, Leonard is right. This is probably something we shouldn’t be talking about in front of the kids,” Tanya said. “And Marianne went to all this work. Let’s not ruin her meal.”
Joyce’s lips thinned, but she nodded in agreement. “You’re right, of course. Thank you so much for your generosity, Marianne, and for helping host this shower. Lacey said you’re making the cake.”
“Yes, and it’s come out really cute, if I do say so myself. Lacey still hasn’t decided on her theme, so we’re just going with doubles.”
“Doubles?”
“You know, twins, so two of everything. It’s going to be cute. We’re going to have two cakes and two punch bowls and cute little games. I’m excited about it.”
“We could help,” her mother offered.
“Oh, I think we have everything under control at this point, thanks. We have everything we need. You can just sit back and enjoy yourselves.”
Lacey’s stomach twinged again, though she’d started to relax as conversation turned away from her mother. She pushed a hand against her side, wondering if it was just the babies moving around, but she didn't feel them, only her stomach tightening under her hand.
She knew that was one of the signs of labor, but she was still almost two months away from her due date. Probably just tension from the whole weekend.
“What’s going on?” Beck leaned close to ask when she drew in a breath a few moments later.
“Not sure. Just stress, I’m sure.”
“You keep pressing a hand to your stomach. Are the babies moving around?”
“No, my stomach is tight. I mean, on and off.”
“Like contractions?” His voice was loud with surprise.
“Not—no. It couldn't be contractions,” she said, waving the idea away when everyone riveted their attention to her. “Too soon.”
“Twins are often born early,” her mother said, pushing her chair back. “I told you. Let’s get you to San Angelo.”
“Mom, no. It’s too soon. And even if it is labor, it’s only been a couple of pains. It might just be a stomach thing.”
Her mother forced herself to relax and move her chair closer to the table. “I’m just saying, it’s a long drive.”
“If they continue, we can call Dr. Fredrick,” Beck said.
“We can call Austin,” her dad said. “He’s in town. He should be able to tell us if you’re in labor.”
“God.” She didn't want her friend examining her. “Let’s just all take it easy, okay, and finish our dinner? There’s got to be something else to talk about. Somebody start talking, and I’m sure this will go away.”
But everyone kept their eyes on her throughout the meal, and when she made the mistake of grimacing, Beck was on his feet, phone to his ear.
“I’m calling Dr. Fredrick.”
“You have her number on your phone?”
“Yeah, just in case.”
Lacey wasn't sure whether to be annoyed or impressed that he would have thought of such a thing. She nodded and pushed herself away from the table to walk into the living room, just needing to move. She heard Beck’s voice, but not his words, heard the urgency of them, and then he appeared in the doorway.
“We’re going to go downtown to meet Austin at his clinic.”
“You called Austin, or Dr. Fredrick?”
“Both. She said to make sure you’re in labor before you make the drive. Austin said he’d check you out.”
“How is he going to determine if I am?” She heard the note of panic in her own voice.
“Lace. He’s going to examine you, but he’s a doctor. Come on. I told him we’d be there in a few minutes.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s nothing,” she said, stepping back when he moved toward her, his hand outstretched.
“Better safe than sorry,” Tanya said briskly. “Come on, I’m going with you.”
“Then I am, too,” her mother said.
“No,” Beck said, taking charge. “We’ll let you know what Austin says, but right now, I’ll just take her.”
Lacey put her hand in his and looked up at him gratefully. “That sounds like a plan. Don't eat the cake without me.”
She let Beck put his arm around her waist as he guided her out of the house to the relative peace of his truck. She pulled in another gasp of surprise as she stepped up on the running board, but he was there to support her as she managed to get into the seat and buckled in.
“I don't want Austin examining me.”
“I thought you said you were okay with him delivering the babies if it came to that.”
“Well, saying it and actually being ready for it are two different things. I’ve known him since I was a little kid, since he was a little kid.”
“Imagine everyone probably feels that way about him,” Beck said. “That’s something you’re all going to have to get over.”
“Yeah, tell me again if you need a colonoscopy or a proctology exam.”
“Oh, yeah. I’ll go to the city for those.”
“Too bad the town doesn’t have a midwife,” she mused as he parked the truck in front of Austin’s office.
“I think if anyone in town is qualified, it’s you.” He parked and slid out of the truck, running around the front of it to open her door before she’d even unlatched her seatbelt.
“I can hardly deliver my own baby.”
“No, but you can become a midwife and help others deliver theirs so they don't have to drive all the way into the city. You already have your nursing degree.”
“I already have patients, too.”
“Sure, but how often do you think you’d be called on?” he asked as he helped her down from the truck. “A couple of times a year?”
“Maybe. But there’s more to being a midwife than that. Classes, both birthing and lactation, stuff like that.”
“You sound like you’re thinking about it.”
“I’m trying to distract myself from the crisis at hand,” she said, only lying a little.
“It’s not a crisis. It’s inevitable. Come on. Let’s go see what he says, then we’ll call everyone at your house, and Poppy if we need to go to the city.”
She nodded, and looked up to see Austin holding the door waiting for them.
“Didn't think I’d see you professionally so soon,” he teased, motioning her through the small waiting room into the exam room.
The place smelled old, musty, like it had been closed up a while. But there was also the odor of
freshly cut lumber, so she wondered what had been added. She didn't have much time to look around, because both Beck and Austin were ushering her toward the exam table.
She shook them both off and climbed up by herself, albeit not very gracefully.
“So tell me what’s going on,” Austin said, holding his hand up to Beck when he started to speak. “I want to hear it from Lacey.”
“My stomach started cramping during dinner, but it’s not constant. It’s rhythmic. My stomach gets really hard, and then relaxes.”
Austin nodded, looking right at her. “Have you been timing them?”
“No, I didn't have a watch or phone handy. Not super fast. Not even sure how rhythmic they are, just that they seem to have a pattern.”
“Okay, I’m going to examine you, so Beck, if you’d step out of the room.” He turned to Lacey. “Unless you want him here.”
God. This was a nightmare, two men she’d known from when they were boys, seeing her at her most vulnerable.
“No, thanks. This is going to be humiliating enough.”
“We are going to do our best not to make it humiliating. If we were in the city, we’d have a monitor we could put on you to measure everything, but the old-fashioned way is the most accurate anyway. Lay back and let me have a look.”
“Okay, but tell me you’ve done this before.”
“I had an OB rotation and I saw plenty of, er, cervixes.”
“God.” She covered her eyes with her hand as she adjusted herself on the table and braced for the exam.
“You don't appear to be dilated at all,” he said from the end of the exam table. He straightened and removed his gloves. “This is probably just Braxton-Hicks contractions, but I’ll keep you here for an hour or two, so we can see if there is a pattern to them, to see if you dilate any. How many weeks are you?”
“Thirty three.”
He made a face. “Twins can be known to come early, but I’d still like to see them hold on a little longer to make sure their lungs are fully formed.”
She put her hand on her stomach and tried to sit up. Of course, one of the cramps hit right then, catching her by surprise.
Austin walked over to a chart sitting on the counter. “Okay, that one was at seven twenty three. Let’s see if we can find a pattern.” He raised his voice. “Beck, you can come back in, sorry, man. Forgot you were waiting.”
Beck was through the door before Austin finished talking. “What is it? Do we need to head to the city?”
“We’re going to hold on a bit and see what happens. She’s not dilated at all. Do you know what that means?”
“I went to a couple of the birthing classes.”
Austin sat back on his rolling stool and did a half spin. “You did? I didn't think you were that involved.”
“We are involved,” Beck countered. “So you know.”
“I get it,” Austin said, folding his arms over his chest. “I mean, Ginny told me you were together, I just didn't know how together, you know?”
“We’re timing the contractions to see if there’s a pattern,” Lacey inserted. “Can you let everyone know? Austin thinks it’s Braxton-Hicks.”
“I think, but I want to be sure before I send her home,” Austin said, doing another half-spin.
“I’ll call the house, and Dr. Fredrick, to update her.”
“So,” Austin turned to her. “You’re my traveling nurse.”
“Well, I’m not your traveling nurse. I work for Helping Hearts. But yeah, I’ve been the one seeing all your patients up until now.”
“We really need to get together and you can fill me in on some of them, things beyond what I’m seeing in their charts. Would that be okay?”
“Sure, of course. I’ve been doing this for a few years, and have had most of them the whole time.”
“That’s good. What made you want to go into nursing? I guess I was kind of surprised when I heard that’s what you’re doing.”
“Well, there aren’t a lot of jobs around, and that was a place where I saw a need, so I put that as my focus.”
“That’s awesome. So other than school, you’ve been here? You never left.”
“Nope. I know you hate this place, but I love it.” What was it with her and dealing with people who hated Broken Wheel tonight.
“Yeah, well, it’s been a little easier on you than on me.”
“I know.” She didn't want to make him go into it. “So tell me about med school. Tell me about Baylor. Tell me about Waco.”
He’d just drawn in a breath to start talking when Beck reappeared. “How are you doing? Any more contractions?”
“It’s only been a couple of minutes, so no. Austin’s going to tell us about the hopping metropolis of Waco, Texas. Was med school fun? What was your favorite rotation?”
“Honestly? I loved orthopedics best. I could totally see myself being an orthopedist when my time here is done. I liked the puzzle aspect of it. I liked the way the bones heal themselves.”
“The good thing, you’ll probably get a lot of practice setting bones out here,” Lacey said.
“Yeah, I can see that. Someone always falling off a horse, a tractor. But I’m ready to treat just about anything, I guess. One day when you’re not possibly in labor you’ll have to come by and I’ll show you around the office and the apartment.”
“I’d like to see it. This place has been empty since we were kids, so I hope they fixed it up well for you.”
“It’s okay. Definitely bigger than the apartment I had in Waco.”
Lacey tried to keep smiling as her stomach tightened again, and Austin wrote something on his chart. Beck laced his fingers through hers, and she let herself squeeze them, letting herself lean on him just a little.
“So what about a social life at Baylor? Did you have one of those? Was it like Grey’s Anatomy when you were studying?” she teased with a wink.
“Yeah, all we did was stand around and flirt.” Austin rolled his eyes. “That’s how I got my degree. I slept my way to the top. No, I barely slept at all, much less had a wild romance. I mean, there were some hook-ups, sure, to kind of relieve the stress, with someone who was going through the same stress. But no, nothing longterm or even worth talking about. Looks like that’s not going to change around here, either. I mean, jeez, it’s not like this place attracts single women. Everyone here who’s single I’ve known since kindergarten.”
Lacey winced at that.
“Another contraction?” Beck asked.
She shook her head. No, just a well-placed arrow.
Chapter Twenty Eight
EVERYONE HAD STILL been at the house when Austin decided she wasn't in labor and sent her home. Lacey felt so bad for her dad and Marianne. What had they all talked about for three hours?
“I’m heading to bed,” Lacey said, not above using her pregnancy to get some rest.
Beck had waited until she had hugged everyone and they left, then he walked her down the hall to her room, kissed her softly, and headed out himself.
Now she was on the way to church for the first time in years. She knew it would make her mother happy, and really, her mother had driven all this way to see her, so she was okay with that.
She hadn’t promised her mom she’d go or anything. She didn't want to make a promise she couldn't keep. But she parked her car in the surprisingly crowded lot and slipped into the back of the church, nodding to the people she knew, scanning the rows for her family.
A cowboy took one look at her, picked up his hat and jumped to his feet, indicating for her to take his seat, but she smiled and waved her thanks as she walked up the side aisle to the row where her mother sat.
The church smelled the same as it had when she was young, kind of musty and cloying, and her empty stomach rebelled a bit at that. She should have had some toast before she headed out, but she’d been running late.
Her mother cried out softly when she saw Lacey at the end of the row, and urged everyone to squeeze together to accommodate
her. She settled in beside her brother-in-law just as the entrance hymn started.
She was surprised at how easily the motions of the service came to her after all this time, like muscle memory. Some things had changed, but not much.
About halfway through the service, she glanced around to see who was there. Poppy was, and Austin, surprisingly. Sofia sat with her family.
And Beck sat farther back with his mother. Apparently he had seen her before she saw him, because he lifted a hand and waved, though his brow was creased, probably because of the conversation at dinner last night. She lifted a shoulder, and turned her attention back to the ceremony.
“I’m so glad you joined us,” her mother said when they walked out of the church an hour later. “How do you feel?”
Lacey wasn't sure if the question was about her health or her reaction to the service. “I feel good. Shall we try to get a seat at the diner?” Sunday morning was bound to be busy with everyone wanting breakfast after church.
As expected, the line for a table was out the door. Lacey put their name on a list, grabbed a pack of crackers, and she and her family walked across the street to the park to wait the thirty minutes or so Ginny had predicted before a table opened up.
“Listen, I wanted to talk to you about last night,” her mother said, sitting at one of the tables with Lacey as the kids ran to play on the playground, again having it to themselves.
“What about last night?”
“I feel like there are some things I need you to know about when I left. Things I didn't want you to know then, things I didn't want anyone to know.”
“Mom,” Tanya said.
Joyce shook her head. “I owe Lacey this information. I need her to know that it was my fault I left. It was my fault because I couldn't deal with the isolation, with everyone knowing my business. All this wide-open space, and I was suffocating, relegated to being a mother and a wife and giving up my dreams.”
“Your dreams to what? Spend all your money in Houston?” Lacey shook her head. She didn't want this conversation to disrupt the peace she’d been feeling in church. “I just don't understand. You didn't move to Houston and become anything other than Andrew’s wife and a socialite.”