The Summer That Made Us

by Robyn Carr

  She walked over to the house where the flowers grew tall against the wall and began snipping them into a generous bouquet. “I don’t remember the last time Jacob brought a girlfriend around,” she said. “High school, maybe.”

  “It hasn’t been that long,” he said.

  “Bet it has,” she teased. “Here you go, carry these for Krista. Now, I want you to come back when you can stay a little while. We’ll have dinner. Let’s do it soon.”

  “Thank you,” Krista said. “And thank you for all of this.”

  “It’s a pleasure. I’m happy to share the garden with friends anytime. Now, you kids stay out of trouble,” she said, then laughed very happily at her own joke.

  Jake gave Zoe a kiss on the cheek, told her to say hello to Richard, then escorted Krista to the truck and proceeded to load all the vegetables behind the passenger seat. Then he helped her in, putting the flowers in her lap, talking all the time. She didn’t hear a word he said.

  She buckled up and watched the vast fields as they drove away. He was still talking. He was proud of Zoe, how friendly and generous she was. She was a nurse, had he mentioned that? So she would be sensitive to the fact that Krista’s cousin was fighting cancer. He hadn’t told Zoe and Richard about Andrea yet, and really, he couldn’t wait, but he was trying to be patient. He had a lot of explaining to do and wanted the time to do it.

  “Hey,” he said, slowing the truck and pulling over. “You’re crying! Was something said that upset you?”

  She shook her head.

  “Then why?”

  She turned her tear-filled eyes toward him. She hiccuped. “She’s so nice. She liked me...”

  He rubbed a knuckle down her cheek, wiping away a tear. “Everyone likes you,” he said. “Know why? You’re very likable.”

  She just dissolved into more tears. Sobs, really. Man, this crying thing, she thought. Once you let go, it was never-ending. Women who cried like this in prison were in for it. Someone took her aside that first week, covered her, protected her and told her to dry it up. Criers got beat up. But she was out now and the tears were freed.

  Zoe was so nice. And Zoe liked her.

  Jake put his arms around her while she cried into his shoulder.

  Could it happen? Could it work? Could she live in the outside world among good people? People who didn’t wish to do anyone harm? Could she live in the arms of a good man? A man who didn’t want anything but her happiness? Could she? Could they?

  “Good tears, I guess,” Jake said. He stroked her back. “Aw, sweetheart, everything is going to be okay.”

  * * *

  Jo didn’t bother knocking on the screen door at the lake house. The inside door stood open and she could hear voices. “Good morning,” she called, stepping into the house.

  “Aunt Jo!” Charley and Meg both said.

  “Ma!” Krista said. “What are you doing here? How did you get here?”

  “I drove Aunt Lou’s car. I’m sorry I didn’t ask if it was all right—I thought it was time we all talked. I have some things to explain. How about a cup of coffee? If you can spare one?”

  “Absolutely. I’ll get it. Sit down. Tell us what’s on your mind,” Krista said.

  “Well, you know I’ve been talking with Louise?”

  “How’s that been going?” Krista asked, passing the coffee.

  “I went to see Lou and begged her to talk about it all, negotiate a truce, kiss and make up.”

  “And?” Charley asked.

  Jo was momentarily distracted by Meg. She moved to her right slightly to press her cheek, giving her a little kiss. “How are you feeling, darling?”

  “Pretty good actually. I know I don’t look good, but that’ll come. I have a good appetite, Charley can vouch for that.”

  “I so look forward to watching you blossom.” She sipped her coffee. “So, Lou and I have been talking, resolving our differences. It was much easier than I expected, really. We’re both to blame for our standoff. Without going into all the details, we were both angry about a lot of things. Lou feels afraid everyone blames her because she was the one to make the proclamation that the lake house was closed, forbidding anyone from coming back.”

  “Well, it was her,” Charley said.

  “And it was me who wouldn’t try to reason with her or change her mind. Don’t you think I could have come here anytime I wanted to? I was letting her simmer in her own juices. Her own lonely juices. I was withholding my affection and making myself emotionally unavailable because I was angry with her. It’s Lou’s way to lash out and let everyone know when she’s angry. Not me. I’m passive-aggressive.”

  “Aunt Jo, you don’t have to be so forgiving,” Charley said. “Mother was hoarding all the booty from Grandma Berkey’s house! She can be so selfish.”

  “Actually, she wasn’t hoarding. She was storing. She was saving all the valuable stuff for our retirement. Both of us. She was pretty sure I wouldn’t have anyone to take care of me and she intended to be sure I had the means. We’re planning an estate sale.” She shook her head. “She’s lucky that house of hers didn’t go up in flames. She’s lucky she wasn’t robbed. I fired her cleaning crew. We’re moving ahead. Then we’re getting rid of her house and my condo. We’re looking around for the right arrangement—probably a duplex of some kind. We’ll be very close neighbors but not roommates, if we can find something. We talked to an agent who says that should be easy.”

  “Really?” Charley said, astonished.

  “We’re both so relieved by this decision. Especially your mother. I didn’t realize how lonely she’s been. She has a lot of regrets and doesn’t quite know how to go about mending her fences. She’ll be the first to admit, she has a lot of foolish pride. I told her it would be easy—all she has to do is say that. Don’t we all want to be a family again if we can?”

  “Well...sure...but we’re pretty busted up,” Charley said.

  “The three of you managed just fine and I do believe you’re thriving. If this could be the first of many summers, wouldn’t that be nice? I think it could be. I told Lou we had to come right away and talk to you, explain our reconciliation, our plans. We want to know if there’s anything of Grandma’s you have an eye for before it’s all gone the way of the estate sale. There’s a lot of old junk but there are some beautiful pieces and if there’s anything... Well, we talked and talked and talked. I insisted we come right away. Putting it off makes no sense—the summer is almost over. But poor Lou. She’s terrified. She thinks everyone hates her. Blames her for everything. I told her that wasn’t true, that we’re all just sick of her cranky, sourpuss attitude.”

  “You told her that?” Meg said.

  Jo nodded. “Made her cry.”

  “Mother doesn’t cry,” Charley said.

  “It’s you she particularly wants to make amends with. When you were sixteen, when you were pregnant and she insisted you go away to have the baby, she wasn’t in her right mind. She couldn’t undo it and she believes you’ll never forgive her.”

  “She might’ve tried saying she was sorry,” Charley said.

  “She might be in a better place to do that now,” Jo said. “She’s not all alone now.”

  “We’ll see,” Charley said. “When I see her next. I’ll be sure to visit her before I leave Minnesota.”

  “You can visit with her right now,” Jo said. “She’s in the car.”

  “She’s in the—”

  “I got her in the car,” Jo said. “I couldn’t get her out. She said when you all turn her away, it will be too much. I told her she was a big baby and everything would be fine. She didn’t believe me.” She smiled weakly. “Twenty-seven years is a long time to nurse a grudge.”

  “She’s in the car?” Meg said.

  Jo nodded. “I’ve never seen her like this. Someo
ne is going to have to go get her.”

  “I can go,” Meg said.

  “I think it should be Charley,” Jo said. “You’re the one she’s most afraid will never forgive her, never give her a chance. Are you ready to help me tidy up this mess?”

  “Why do I always get the hard jobs?” Charley said.

  “Well, you’re the strongest one,” Jo said.

  “Wish I felt like the strongest one,” she muttered.

  Chapter Eighteen

  There were a dozen accusations Charley wanted to throw at her mother. Louise hadn’t called her, sometimes for years. They only talked because Charley initiated the call, not so much trying to be a proper daughter but something much less fitting. Never let it be said that Charley prolonged or contributed to this rift between them. Louise didn’t seem to care about her grandchildren—not the one she forced Charley to give away, not Eric, who Charley raised. Louise visited her in California twice and on both visits she didn’t bother to see Krista; Krista could have used a visit. On those occasions she did see or talk to Louise it had been like a fight just waiting to happen. Louise was hostile.

  Charley stood on the porch and looked at the car, parked behind hers in the drive. It didn’t seem possible but Louise looked so small. Louise had never looked small.

  Charley took a deep breath and decided to take one for the team. She walked out to Louise’s car and slid into the front seat, the driver’s side. “So, rumor has it you’re afraid to come inside. And I drew the short straw.”

  Louise didn’t look at her. “I suppose you have good reason to be angry,” she said.

  “And why is that, Mother?”

  Louise gave a short laugh. “I guess I wasn’t prepared for you to ask me to list my mistakes. I’m sorry about the baby, Charlene. I couldn’t have kept you home and cared for your baby while you attended school, not so soon after losing Bunny. Things wouldn’t have worked out as well for you if you’d tried to keep her and raise her yourself—I know that seems cruel, but it’s true. If I’d been in a better place, maybe we could have found another solution. I’m sorry. That’s all I can say. It was a terrible mistake. I’ll apologize to Andrea if that would be appropriate.”

  “Forget it,” Charley said. “Andrea always wanted to know her biological parents but was never unhappy with her adoptive parents.”

  “That’s good.”

  “How are we to make up?” Charley asked. “We’ve been completely cold to each other since I was sixteen. Totally irritated and angry with each other. How do we change that?”

  “I have no idea,” Louise said, sounding a little tired. “I told Jo this wouldn’t work.”

  “It hasn’t failed yet,” Charley said. “Want to try to contribute something here? A suggestion? An idea?”

  “Here’s an idea,” Louise said. “You could forgive me. We could start there.”

  “You know, I hated you,” Charley said. “I hated you so much. There were about a hundred times over the last twenty-seven years I needed you to be tender toward me. Loving. Like when Eric was born. Or when I got my show. Or when I lost my show. When I found my daughter! Mother!”

  “Every one of those events I heard about from Meg,” she said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. “Every one. It appears we had the same expectations of each other. You were angry that it seemed I didn’t care—didn’t care that you’d found yourself a nice man in Michael, that you’d had a son, that you were successful, that you found your lost daughter. I was angry that you never called to share those things with me. How much more anger do you suppose we can find to throw on this teeter-totter? I give up, Charlene. When Bunny drowned I realized I was not the strong one in the family. I never was. I was the hardy one. I could run and swim. Emotionally, my best was never good enough. I lost my temper. I hurt easily. I’ll do whatever you want, Charlene. Charley. Whatever helps us put this hatred to rest and try to mend what’s left of our family.”

  “Hatred,” Charley said. “Mother, I don’t really hate you. If I hated you, you wouldn’t have mattered a damn. I loved you. I just wanted you to love me back.”

  “I always loved you,” she said. “I just couldn’t find a way to say it to your angry, disappointed face. But believe me when I tell you—I’ll do whatever you want. I’m old now. I want to live to be much older. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without you in it.”

  I’ll do whatever you want.

  “I said something like that to Michael,” Charley said softly. “A surrender.”

  “Exactly,” Louise said. “We can make a list if you like—you can list all my transgressions and I’ll apologize for each one.”

  “See how sarcastic... Ach! Stop. We’re going to have to put up with each other, that’s all.”

  “Sounds pleasant,” Louise said. “Why did you say that to Michael?”

  “Oh, it’s nothing,” Charley said.

  “I hope it’s nothing. You’ve been very happy with Michael.”

  “He’s a wonderful man,” Charley said, feeling the cloud of tears invade.

  “Charlene, I’d like us to do a little better than put up with each other,” Lou said. “I know I’m not an easy person. I’ll try if you will.”

  “Aunt Jo said you were saving all that junk from Grandma Berkey’s house to help her with her retirement.”

  “It’s not junk,” Louise said. “There’s some very valuable stuff. Art. Jewelry. Antiques from Grandma’s grandmother. Not to mention a trust. Grandma Berkey was an only child and her father was wealthy.”

  “But I thought you made Aunt Jo sign all that away,” Charley said.

  “Who told you that?” Louise asked.

  “I think Jo told Krista, who told us.”

  “Hmph. That was a different time. Roy was so damned irresponsible but your father was bound to help him, anyway. And Jo’s pride was hurt every time they had to ask for help, yet she wouldn’t give up on him. We had to do something to try to stop him from wringing us dry. It wasn’t legal. It couldn’t supersede a will.”

  “You said there wasn’t that much,” Charley reminded her.

  “I lied,” Lou said. “There’s plenty.”

  “Jesus, don’t tell Hope,” Charley said. “She’s been planning on an inheritance for a long time. And on top of that, she’s nuts!”

  Louise burst out laughing. “Don’t worry, by the time it gets down to Hope, she’ll be old like we are. Besides, we might do a couple of things. I’ve always wanted to go on a cruise. I could talk Jo into that. We could spend it all.”

  Charley found herself smiling. “Are you a little relieved that Jo made you come? That we’re trying to mend things in the family?”

  “I suppose I am,” Lou said.

  “Well, for God’s sake, don’t let it show!”

  “I’m never going to meet your expectations as a perfect mother, Charley. Another twenty years and I’ll be as cranky and obnoxious as Grandma Berkey. So just worry about what kind of mother you’re going to be.”

  “I found Andrea’s father,” she said suddenly. “Or maybe I didn’t find him exactly. Krista has been working as a waitress at the lodge and the hotel manager—he’s the guy. We had a little summer fling and... Well, it was quite a surprise because Krista is actually dating him and she brought him to the house to introduce him to us and voilà! We recognized each other.”

  Louise gasped and covered her open mouth.

  “See, Mother? You miss a lot by not hanging out with us.”

  “Did you tell her?”

  “Right away. I gather they’ve talked. When I told him, he was so shocked I thought he was going to faint.”

  “Did you want to just kill him?”

  Charley laughed. “He’s very nice. We were stupid kids, that’s all.”

  “Have you
told Michael you reconnected with him?”

  Charley was shocked. Louise might not even realize it but this was a whole new behavior. She didn’t often ask many questions. She usually acted like she couldn’t care less. “I haven’t talked to Michael just lately.”

  “Why?”

  Charley didn’t answer. “You have to come in the house now, Mother. You have to see Meg and Krista. There’s not that much lake time left. This is what Meg wants—family. You’re going to have to hang out awhile. John will be here tomorrow night for the weekend. You have to stay. Meg and Krista have questions about the family history and the family trouble. I don’t actually give a shit, but if there are answers, I’d like to hear them, too.”

  “How much of this family trouble am I going to have to swallow?” Lou asked.

  “Probably about four cups or so. Don’t worry, I have liquor.”

  “You are a good child,” she said.

  And she actually smiled.

  * * *

  Meg was the only one to cry sentimental tears when Lou came inside. This was what she had wanted—that her mother and her aunt Jo would reconcile and be each other’s strength again, like they were when the girls were young. They spent hours telling stories about the early days at the lake house, stretching all the way back to when Jo and Lou were girls and they snuck out for little flings with boys from the lodge.

  “I should’ve known,” Charley said. “The apple never falls far from the tree.”

  They spent only that one night at Lake Waseka, then promised to be back in a few days. They had things to do in the cities, not to mention Jo’s need to check in on Hope and make sure she was doing all right.

  When Krista got home from work the next day, Jo and Lou had gone. John was due to arrive in late afternoon or early evening and so for a brief space of time it was just the three of them again. Meg was dozing in the bedroom.

  “Was having your mother here upsetting to you?” Krista asked softly.

  “No. I might still be in shock but Meg was right. Part of putting this family back together is putting them back together.” Charley looked at her phone. “My mother is so much easier to take when Aunt Jo is around.”