by Halie Fewkes
I glanced between the kids, trying to figure out why everybody was so afraid to speak. I squinted at Ratuan, hoping he got the message that yes, I did pick up on that.
“You’ll help your friends the most by coming to the Dragona, where you’ll be safe,” Archie said. “Because we could all end up dead in the next few years if anything happens to you. We can’t have the next Escali Epic unopposed.”
Ebby bit her lip and shook her head. “I can’t go.” Ratuan set a comforting hand on hers, and Ebby pulled it together enough to look right at me and say, “You have your answer now. Is there anything else you’d like to contribute, or will you be leaving?”
Bitter anger flared in my chest, because I knew without doubt those words had not come from the shy girl in front of us. Ratuan was in her head, and making his way into everybody else’s too.
Leaf stepped up beside me and said, “I was thinking…” He stopped as Ratuan turned him a piercing glare. Leaf took a moment to gather his courage and say, “We can trust them, Ratuan. I wouldn’t have brought them down here if I didn’t believe it. They can get us the mages we need. They could even create a distraction above ground while we’re—”
“Leaf, I get it,” Ratuan interrupted him, but Leaf was infected with a great idea that couldn’t be silenced.
“And we could give them the spider marks! It can be like they’re part of us—”
“Leaf!” Ratuan barked at him, and Leaf shrank back in a fearful way that made me bristle.
Ratuan and Ebby looked at each other again, clearly exchanging thoughts before Ratuan glanced back at us. “Giving them the spider marks would give us the time we need to talk,” he said.
“Let me guess,” Archie said, tapping the back of his own shoulder. “You’re all getting tattoos of a spider on your shoulders, like they did in Dincara when you proved your worth.”
Ratuan said, “Everybody down here is more than deserving, so yes. Ebby and I found a sort of ink while we were making this room.” Ebby winced and glanced at Ratuan’s hands, which were stained black like he’d spilled ink over his palms and accidentally smeared it across his fingers. I couldn’t see Ebby’s beneath the white gloves. “It’s permanent, as far as we can tell.”
“I can show each of you around while the other gets their spider,” Ebby said, smiling hesitantly at us both.
Ratuan watched her for a short second, and something happened so quickly that I almost missed it. His face lit up like Ebby’s smile was the most beautiful in the world, like she was his warmth in the cold. He hid his admiration by the time the second ended, but I realized Ebby meant more to him than power, and that was a thought I liked.
Ratuan looked at us, his serious self once more. “It turns out I’m the only one around here who can draw a halfway decent spider,” he said. “If you want one, I can do it for you.”
“I’m interested,” I said, because while one of us was occupied with Ratuan, the other would get to speak with Ebby, free from his tight grip. And what did I care if I had a spider tattooed onto my shoulder?
Ratuan disappeared behind the three dimensional map and came back with a tiny utensil like a thin paint brush and a flat spoon with a sticky black gel coating the end.
“Do you want to go first?” he asked.
I felt suddenly more uncomfortable than I cared to admit, and I glanced down at my leather jerkin and pale undershirt. “I don’t think I can roll my sleeves up to the shoulder—”
Ratuan laughed, not like I was funny but like I was stupid, and I felt my face turn red. “Well obviously you have to take it off, just like everyone else did,” he said. “That isn’t a problem, is it?”
I yanked on my jerkin’s front lacing to loosen it and ripped it over my head and shoulders, because no, it was not a problem.
I dropped the warm leather on my feet and had my undershirt halfway off too when I realized how incredibly stupid and impulsive this was. It had taken one condescending comment, one implication that I was a coward, and here I was, literally taking my clothes off to prove I wasn’t intimidated. Ratuan must be absolutely dying with laughter. And yet, I was too far in to change my mind now. I dropped my undershirt on the leather jerkin and folded my arms where one last undergarment covered my chest and straps laced over each shoulder.
I sat and crossed my legs, refusing to look vulnerable while cold air drafted across my back and stomach. “This spider had better look good,” I said, staring straight ahead at the wall. I didn’t want to see Archie or what he thought of me right now.
“It will,” Ratuan said as he moved behind me and I got the sinking feeling in my stomach that usually accompanies a mistake. “Leaf, why don’t you head to Production, where you’re supposed to be, and Ebby can show Archie each of our tunnels so the Dragona knows what we’re up to here.”
I could feel Archie’s eyes burning a hole in the side of my head. He was waiting for me to make eye contact and let him know I was fine with him leaving me here. But I couldn’t take my eyes off the wall and he eventually turned his attention to Ebby instead.
Everybody left, and I interlaced my fingers tightly before setting them between my crossed legs. I’d rather be eaten alive than let Ratuan see me fidgeting, or showing any other signs of nerves.
“I can grab a blanket if you’re cold,” Ratuan said.
“I’m fine.”
I pulled my hair off to the left and Ratuan grabbed my right arm, squinting at my shoulder. Chills shot down my back even though Ratuan’s hands were perfectly warm.
“I’m actually glad we can finally talk without everyone else here,” Ratuan said. From the corner of my eye, I saw him coating his brush in ink.
“I didn’t think you were interested in talking to us,” I said.
“I am now. Ebby says she can’t read your mind, which is perfect. I need you to get a message to Sir Avery.” I stared straight ahead until Ratuan said, “This is going to sting.”
All I felt was a cold dot of liquid on my shoulder, and I found myself bored with it until it really did begin to sting. And then it started to burn. And as Ratuan touched the brush to my skin again, I began to fear a hole was burning through my flesh. My breaths grew sharper as water pooled at the bottom of my eyes and my nose began to run. Ok, I was pretty sure he was stabbing the superheated brush through my skin.
“You’ve got me curious,” I said, struggling to keep my words even. I hadn’t felt pain like this since I’d been shot.
“I need you to tell Sir Avery who I am, where I am, and that I can do more for him than he might expect,” Ratuan said. “He’ll find a way to speak with me if he knows what’s good for him.”
“I dare you to talk to him that way,” I said with a snort of laughter, which was really just meant to cover a sniffle I couldn’t keep contained. Ratuan laughed lightly behind me as I used my knuckles to wipe the tears from my eyes. The sharp sting wasn’t dissipating, and I was seconds away from clawing at it to make it stop.
Ratuan said, “I have big plans and I need his help.”
“You could tell me what they are,” I said. “I’d like to know how you plan to get out of here.”
Ratuan blew on my shoulder, which sent a hundred more unpleasant chills down my back, and then he pressed the heel of his palm against the mark with all his strength. The burn subsided under pressure and became more bearable.
“Every time these tunnels take a turn, we’ve split them into a different section,” Ratuan explained. “The one above us is Language. Any time we figure out a new Escali word, we get it back to that corridor. If you’re sleeping in that hall, then you’re doing everything you can to learn Escalira before you fall asleep. Above Language is Strength. That’s where you pretty much do pushups until you’re dead. Eric and Steph are in charge up there, trying to get everybody strong enough to fight the Escalis when we escape.”
“You’re going to try to fight your way out of here?” I asked. For a moment, the pain in my shoulder didn’t seem so bad considering t
hese kids were all about to commit suicide.
“I know it doesn’t sound smart. But below us is Production, where we’re making weapons. Real weapons. And everybody down here is finding their powers left and right. I’m telling you, we’re getting at least one more mage per day. We are going to be able to fight.”
“And what’s the name of the corridor we’re in right now?” I asked.
“This is Planning. Ebby’s been making this map of the tunnels for weeks now, and anyone with information knows to bring it to me here. I’ve been to the Dragona once,” Ratuan said, grabbing the front of my shoulder so he could push harder, which to my relief made the pain subside almost entirely. “I remember the whole layout, and I remember seeing a giant chore chart on the wall in the Wreck. We’ve made something similar down here in Planning, where we assign everyone to a different corridor each night. Turns out this ink can blacken solid stone.”
“So, you’ve got everyone rotating through the different sections?”
“Yes. I’ll even go up and work Guard sometimes, and I think it’s important that everybody spend time in Language. I’ll be honest though, I hate Strength. Eric and Steph think it’s hilarious how much I hate sore arms, but I’ll do anything to avoid that tunnel.”
I didn’t want to say I was warming up to Ratuan, but a small smirk did grace the corner of my mouth at the irony that he was afraid of a few pushups. I also appreciated the pressure on my shoulder, even though I was pretty sure the ink was burning his blackened palms too.
“But at the end of every night, I do like my team to come back here to Planning with me.”
“Eric and Steph look like little hellions. I get why you want them, but I don’t understand why you’re keeping Leaf so close, or that other girl you’ve got.”
“Eme is a shade,” Ratuan said, taking his hand off my shoulder to examine his work. “She can keep my plans and thoughts hidden from Vack and Prince Avalask. And I just like Leaf. He’s... different. I’m still trying to figure him out.”
“You mean you’re still figuring out how he might be of use to you?”
“Don’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same,” Ratuan replied.
“And what about Ebby?” I asked, not able to argue that I wouldn’t do exactly the same. “If you really cared for her, you’d ask her to get out of here.”
Ratuan stepped back from me, and I turned around to face him, barely aware anymore that I wasn’t wearing a shirt. “I tried,” he said. “Honestly, I asked her to go, but she’s too afraid to leave, and it’s better for me if she’s here.”
Ebby and Archie returned, seeming at ease with each other, and Archie asked, “How’s it look?”
“You tell me,” I said, getting to my feet and turning my back to him, pulling my hair off to the side. I craned my own neck to look, but it was difficult to make out any details on the back of my own shoulder.
Archie came closer to peer at it. “It... looks like a spider,” he said casually, brushing his fingers over the mark to feel it. His touch sent a fiery tingle racing across my skin. Warmth filled every bit of my core with ticklish joy, and I knew that sounded incredibly stupid, but it was real enough to chase away the cold, clammy discomfort from Ratuan.
Archie picked up my undershirt and handed it to me. “My turn then.”
I pulled the pale shirt over my head as Archie began to take his off, and Ebby asked, “Allie, do you want me to show you the caves too?”
“Yes, just let me get this back on,” I said, grabbing my leather jerkin to pull over my head. Archie settled down with his legs crossed, and it dawned on me rather harshly that I had never seen Archie without a shirt, at least not in this life. His entire back was more muscular than I’d imagined, and his shoulder blades more sharply defined, even when he barely moved them. It hit me with sudden remorse that I had never set my hands on that powerful strength and I had never run my fingertips down the indent on his spine that was so masculine and so him.
I was clearly losing my mind, and so I escaped the situation in a hurry.
Ebby came with me, having to trot to keep up with my long strides, and when we were far from Ratuan, I stopped and crouched to her level, meeting her eyes to figure out what she was thinking. She looked fearfully away, then back to me, then nervously down to her feet as she bit at her lip. “Ebby, I really am here to help you—”
She threw her arms around my neck as she began to cry, and I nearly panicked before deciding it was best to put my arms around her as well.
“Are you alright?” I asked, nearly choking as she trembled and cut off the circulation to my brain. “Has anybody hurt you?”
She shook her head and cried into my shoulder, “I just don’t know what to do. I can’t leave Ratuan here, but I can’t stay with Vack and Prince Avalask. I’m afraid something horrible is going to happen when they try to escape, but I can’t ask him not to try.”
“It’s alright, you’re ok,” I said soothingly, prying her incredibly strong arms off my neck. I held onto her gloved little hands and said, “I might be able to get them out before the escape attempt.”
“What?” she whispered. I could see desperation in her eyes, and didn’t know how to explain that my rescue plan wouldn’t include her. I wasn’t even sure it was the plan we would go with. “That would fix everything!” She snatched my shoulders in a bruising grip. “Please, get them out of here. You only have three days before they do it themselves.”
I studied her face closely and asked, “Why are you so afraid? You just don’t think they stand a chance?”
I saw hesitation in her pretty eyes before she tucked her chin down to cry more torn sobs.
“It’s alright, you can tell me,” I said, settling down onto my knees. “Oh, you poor girl. Come here.” I pulled her in close to hold her again.
“I d-don’t know what to do,” she repeated.
“We’ll get you through this, alright?” I said. “Just tell me what you’re afraid of, and we’ll fix it.”
“It’s m-more than an escape,” Ebby said. “Ratuan is going to try to kill Izfazara on the way out, and I just know something’s going to happen to him.”
“Ok. Ebby, think through that for a second. There’s no way—”
“You’re underestimating him,” Ebby’s voice dropped into hoarse desperation, and she pushed away from me. “I’ve told him everything. He knows exactly what he’s up against, and he’s making plans. I just, I know things about him. He’s more than anyone expects.”
“What sorts of things?” She froze, and I asked, “Can you show me?”
“I… think I can,” she said, sniffling loudly as she scrunched her eyebrows and I felt her presence reaching into my mind. “Look at me?” she asked.
Her eyes were muted blue and kind, but I struggled to keep my gaze on hers and relax my sense of control. Letting somebody inside, letting them see everything that makes you you, is incredibly difficult on multiple levels, requiring trust that Ebby hadn’t really earned.
I felt like my mind was made of butterfly wings, and when I finally convinced myself to let Ebby in, she stepped inside wearing boots three sizes too big for her feet. I immediately regretted it, but couldn’t open my mouth to say the word stop, and braced myself for the inevitable damage.
Ebby removed one of her white gloves and set a hand on the side of my face, placing her own trust in me as the armor around her mind vanished. She then moved timidly, gracefully even, among my thoughts, reaching tender points where her feelings seemed suddenly indistinguishable from my own.
I expected flashes of images like when Prince Avalask had been in my mind, but Ebby’s thoughts were unrefined, raw, and confusing. Her memories were a scatterscape of feeling, seeing, smelling, hearing, and emotions. But through it all, I could see a hundred different chess games she’d played with Ratuan while they laughed, and talked, and sipped at the tea his mother had brewed.
Ratuan played to win. He always stared at the board much longer than seemed necessa
ry, and his strategy never varied. He sacrificed almost every piece in his color, but he won every game. Ebby had never beaten him, but he’d never finished a game with more than three or four players standing.
And I understood why she was so afraid.
Ebby’s thoughts began to wander, not in paths that made perfect sense, but in directions that vaguely connected and intersected. An image of Ratuan telling her that Epics were the queens of the chessboard. Then Prince Avalask telling her the story of the royal curse, which would one day impact Vack. Then Ebby falling asleep in the same room as Vack, feeling sympathy for him and feeling safe with him. Then the conflicting feelings of joy when Ratuan looked at her and told her how important she was to him. Knowing Ratuan hated Vack, but that Vack wasn’t the sort of evil Ratuan thought.
Ebby jerked back from me, startled. “I didn’t mean to show you all that,” she said, looking frightened once more. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to be sorry,” I said. “Please, believe me Ebby, I understand what it’s like to be torn in two directions.”
She blinked a few times to hold back the tears pooling between her eyelashes.
“Can you tell me what to do?” she asked.
I sighed, reminded of Prince Avalask calling her pliable, and it dawned on me exactly what we were doing to her. We were turning her into a mindless tool, a thing to be controlled by whoever had her instead of a strong young girl with a mind of her own. And all of my arguments for the situation suddenly fled my mind because I needed to be more than another voice in the conflict, another set of hands tugging at her.
“Honestly, Ebby, bringing you home would solve a lot of problems for me. But... People are going to try to control you your whole life, and you can’t become a plaything to be fought over.” I looked straight into her eyes and said, “You are so much more than a pawn in everyone else’s hands.”
She stared at me like I’d suggested she go fight the Zhauri death hound. “You want me to decide?” she whispered.