by Jenika Snow
She nodded. “I know, but we don’t have to be heathens about it.” Swallowing roughly, she reached for her water, took a long drink, and thought about Andrew, her sweet, young brother.
“You lost someone very close,” he stated without phrasing it as a question.
Rebecca nodded. “Didn’t we all?”
He looked down, breaking their intense stare. “I was estranged from my parents for years before the outbreak occurred. I don’t even know if they’re still alive.” He looked up at her. “Chances are they’re infected, but I hope they’re dead, because that would be a hell of a lot more humane than walking around like those fuckers out there.” As if on cue, an infected groaned out.
“I killed my brother a month after all this went down. We had been driving away from the city, trying to get to the country, because we heard the infection hadn’t hit there yet.” She had been wrong. Everyone had been wrong. “But Andrew, my brother…” She stared at Collin. “Andrew had been scratched and didn’t tell me. He thought it would be okay, because he wasn’t bitten.” She closed her eyes and breathed out. It had been a long time since Andrew’s death, and it still felt like yesterday. “But I found out soon enough that a scratch was just as deadly as a bite.”
“I’m sorry.” He sounded genuine, and she offered him a smile, even though it didn’t feel real.
“That’s the world we live in now. Having to kill your flesh and blood before they turn on you and want to destroy everything you are.” She didn’t want to think about Andrew, how she had killed him right after he turned, because that wound hadn’t healed within her yet.
Rebecca knew it would never heal. Since then, she killed enough infected that she was comfortable with it. Rebecca only ate half the jerky Collin had given her and set it aside. Even if she was still hungry, food was scarce enough that she couldn’t be greedy. “What about you?”
“What about me?” he asked without malice in his voice.
“What did you used to do before all this?”
He was silent for a few seconds, brought his water bottle to his mouth, and took a long sip from it while watching her over the rim. He lowered the bottle and wiped his mouth with the back of his arm. “I wasn’t a bookkeeper,” he said without any emotion in his voice.
Was he some kind of criminal, murderer, extortionist? Did it matter anymore? He could have been a criminal in the world before, but what happened then didn’t really matter now. He hadn’t hurt her, had saved her life even, and was sharing his food. As far as she was concerned, he was a good man. “It doesn’t matter anymore what someone did in their previous life—well, not unless they were a doctor or something and could have a useful talent.” She shrugged. “But if you’re in need of your finances being checked over, I’m your girl.”
“My finances were the last things that needed to be looked at, believe me.” He started chuckling, and she liked the sound. It was manly, masculine, and had this little tingle moving through her. Sex was the last thing she should have on her mind, especially with her almost rape situation, and maybe she was suffering from some kind of “been saved from a near death experience syndrome.” But whatever she was feeling, it felt good and real, and for the first time in her life and living in this new, shitty world, Rebecca wanted this moment to last.
But it was clear Collin wasn’t feeling this “moment,” because all he did was stare at her with this unreadable expression.
The moaning and groaning from outside grew louder, and she moved to the back of the loft and rested against the wall. Collin stayed where he was, finished his food, and then leaned against the wall diagonal to her.
They were silent for several seconds, and then she decided to speak again, trying to ease the sudden awkward tension in the air.
“How old are you, and where are you originally from?” Small talk seemed like the safest route right now, and besides, she didn’t want to sit here, neither speaking. She lived in silence, and having someone to actually converse with was nice.
He brought his legs up, rested his forearms on his knees, and looked at her. The light from the lantern didn’t quite reach him, and the shadows covered half his body. “I’m thirty-seven and originally from New York. I stayed at my place for about six months, safe because of where I was located, but I eventually ran out of supplies. I knew staying there any longer would be my death.” He stared right at her. “New York was consumed by the infection in a matter of weeks, as were most of the larger cities.”
She heard major cities around the world had gotten hit the hardest, and then it moved outward, sucking up the health and life of every state in the United States. The vaccine had already made it across the ocean to Europe, Asia, and the rest of the continents, and soon the entire world was one giant infected cesspool of walking corpses.
“So, I grabbed what I could and left it all.” He rested his head on the wall, breathed out, and closed his eyes. “It is what it is, and there is no going back. We can only focus on the here and now.” He turned just his head and stared at her. “I never looked back, never wanted to either. My life back there…” He looked away from her and stared at the holes in the roof. “My life back in New York was filled with drugs, embezzlement, illegal activity, and a lot of fucking violence and death.”
Rebecca’s heart started pounding fast and hard at his words. They were cold, deep, and held a lot of darkness to them. It was obvious that whatever Collin had done before all this, it hadn’t been anything good.
“But even though I wasn’t a good man back then, and honestly still am not, you and I are the same, Rebecca.” He looked at her again. “We are survivors.”
9
Collin watched Rebecca sleep, saw the movement of her chest rising and falling, and should have felt like a sick bastard for wanting her the way he did. She may not have come out and told him that she had either been attacked in the past or raped, but he had seen the truth on her face back at the store.
And then when he said they were both survivors, he had seen that same painful and true expression cover her face.
They’d been talking about bullshit before she nodded off. He hadn’t wanted to wake her, because she was clearly exhausted if she could pass out with him being here. And hell, he didn’t know how anyone could get any decent amount of rest with the moans and groans coming from the infected right outside this place.
He moved closer, trying to be quiet so as not to wake her. The sun was starting to set, and although he should turn off the lantern to preserve the battery life, he wanted to be able to see her clearly. She was on her side with her back toward the edge of the loft. The haystacks were blocking her from actually rolling right off the ledge, as were the wooden beams running horizontally.
She’d taken off that big, bulky jacket, and although she had several layers on underneath it, he could see she was a tiny thing. The shirt she wore gapped open at the front slightly, and her delicate little collarbones were showing.
He was a fucking asshole for watching her as she slept, but there was this possessive side of him that reared its head as soon as he had seen her. She was vulnerable as well as strong, and he wanted to protect her.
He reached out and ran his thumb along the thin line of her collarbone, heard her sigh softly in her sleep, and got hard that this woman was his. She didn’t know it, probably would fight him tooth and nail over it, but she was his. Collin’s dick throbbed for release, and he closed his eyes and lay down beside her.
Placing his hand behind his head, Collin stared at the play of light from the lantern on the wooden rafters above him. Rebecca was breathing softly and then shifted closer to him. He stared at her, saw how her raven-colored hair fell over her forehead, and gritted his teeth to force himself not to touch her.
It was wrong to even be lying next to her, to look at her face, her lips, and think about touching her in ways that were dirty as fuck and would have them both sweaty and moaning.
God, stop thinking about this shit or you’ll get blue ba
lls.
She shifted again, moved a little closer to him, but was now on her back. Her breasts were not much more than a handful, but they were fucking hot as they were. Her nipples were hard too, poking against her top and making his mouth water, wanting to pull up the material and latch onto that tip. Since the contamination hit, Collin hadn’t had sex.
Not one fucking time had he felt a woman’s warm, soft body against his. Jerking off was getting old, especially when he had been used to getting willing pussy at the snap of his fingers.
The sound of something banging against the side of the building was loud, echoing off the high ceiling, and had him sitting up. She was still sleeping, and when he sat up fully and looked over the haystacks, he saw an infected had made its way through an opening in the wall. It fell against the side of a broken-down machine.
The metal fell to the ground with a loud clatter, and Rebecca woke on a gasp. He pressed his hand on her belly, flattened it against her body to keep her still, and felt his cock jerk because of that small contact. She made this small noise, and he leaned forward and whispered in her ear softly.
“There is an infected in here. We have to be quiet,” he whispered.
She nodded, and that small movement had her hair brushing along his cheek. He closed his eyes and held back his groan of pleasure that he had this female here with him, pressed so close he could hear her breathing almost intimately.
Pushing those desires away, he focused on the infected walking aimlessly around the main floor. It wouldn’t be long before more infected realized they could get in as easily as this one had. They were high enough that nothing could get them, but once the infected knew they were up here, more would congregate, and it would be impossible to escape the building.
The window was too small to go out of, and even if it wasn’t, they were too high up to jump out of it without hurting themselves.
“Are you afraid?” she asked softly, staring right at him.
He thought about her question, knew the answer right away, but got lost in her green eyes that were lightly visible because of the lantern. He needed to turn it off, not draw any attention up until he could climb down and kill the motherfucking infected, but he was transfixed.
She was gorgeous, so feminine and looking almost ethereal in this dim lighting despite the grime and dirt around them.
Collin wanted to kiss her, to just take their clothes off—no, tear them away—until they were naked and he was spreading her legs.
Christ, he was insatiable, and he knew that until he was between her sweet thighs, pumping away and finally claiming her as his own, Collin would only get even more desperate for her.
10
Rebecca tried to control her breathing, but Collin was touching her stomach, holding his heavy weight on her body, and it felt really good. Maybe she should have focused on the fact that a corpse had gotten into the building, but she couldn’t be worried about anything right now.
She didn’t know if it was because she hadn’t been with a man in far too long or if it was just him, but whatever it was had her aroused, wet, needy, and not thinking clearly.
He moved silently over to the lantern, turned the light off, and they were plunged into darkness. It took a moment for her vision to clear, but then she saw him moving back toward her, the moonlight gently playing through the small glass window behind him.
He moved beside her once again, so close she felt his body heat seep right into her.
She should be worried about the infected currently in the building and that more would probably soon follow. But instead, she pictured the two of them together, him with his big, strong body over hers, his hands parting her thighs, and Collin guiding his cock into her.
God, she wanted him badly, and she knew it was an irrational desire. This entire time, she hadn’t wanted a man, hadn’t wanted any kind of sexual relationship.
But then Collin had come along, and she felt something, really felt something inside her, that didn’t make sense in this fucked up world. She didn’t know him, had just met him a couple hours ago, but she wanted him in ways that also had nothing to do with sex.
She just wanted his presence to ease the loneliness, wanted his body to press against hers when she slept. Was she so starved for attention and affection that she would take it from a man she just met?
“No, Rebecca, I’m not scared, and you shouldn’t be either.”
And then she did something she had never thought she’d be doing after the fall of civilization, or after everything that happened to her. Rebecca leaned up, braced her hands on the wood beneath her, and pressed her mouth to Collin’s. He tasted good, like dark spices with a hint of something sweet and minty.
They were both filthy, and although she wasn’t going to have sex with him right now, it felt good to have him so close, to have his mouth on hers, and just to feel good after being alone so long.
He didn’t move his mouth, didn’t move anything for that matter, but then he speared his hand in her hair, tilted her head back, and devoured her. The sound of the corpse shuffling around below them, of it moaning and groaning off and on, didn’t stop them from kissing.
He swept his tongue out, stroked her, and moaned softly. He tightened his hold in her hair to the point that a soft cry of pain left her, but he swallowed the sound, masking it with his breathing.
He broke the kiss but had his lips still lightly pressed to hers, his breath moving along her mouth, her arousal growing higher.
They stared at each other, with the disgusting world all around them, the rotting corpses just on the other side of the metal and wood that housed them, and right here, right now, there wasn’t anywhere else she wanted to be. He consumed her and made her feel breathless and lightheaded, and it had all come to this in a few hours.
This is insane. You’re insane, Rebecca.
All she wanted to do was close her eyes and pretend they were in a nice place, surrounded by clean things, with nothing was stopping this from going further.
“As much as I want to continue this and have it go further, I think we need to leave before any more find themselves in here and make things worse. Right now, I can handle a few infected and stay unnoticed by the other assholes, but if this building gets swarmed with the motherfuckers, we’ll have a problem, especially since I don’t have a gun.”
His voice was so low, so deep, that she felt it down to her very soul. He groaned something unintelligible then tightened his hold on her hair and kissed her again. With one final sweep of his tongue along her bottom lip, Collin pulled away.
She wanted him to continue kissing her, to hold her close. She had been alone, dodging shady humans, killing infected, and making sure she wasn’t bitten or scratched so she wasn’t infected, yet she felt like no one else was around. She was always alone, so utterly, heartbreakingly alone.
Having Collin so close, even after just meeting him hours before, made her feel as though she could get through this ugly, hateful world. It was illogical to feel this way, to want him like she did. Was she so desperate that she was looking for comfort from the first person, the first man who had come along and didn’t try to take something from her that she wasn’t willing to give?
Her thoughts were halted when the sound of more metal scraping came through. She pushed herself up and looked over the haystacks. Another corpse was finding its way through the opening in the wall, the same way the other corpse had gotten in.
“We need to go now while we aren’t overrun,” Collin said gruffly. “Pack up what you can carry.” Then he was moving away from her and grabbing his items.
She got up and grabbed her jacket, put it on, and started shoving anything and everything she could into her backpack and tote. She couldn’t carry everything, and as she looked around at her little makeshift stove, at some of the extra weapons she kept up here just in case, a part of her grew disappointed that she was leaving her safe haven. Or at least it had been safe.
Rebecca watched as Collin grabbed t
he ladder and, as quietly as he could manage, lowered it. There was some banging as the wood hit the loft, but the infected who was already inside didn’t take notice, because the other one was still trying to get through the side of the wall, and the noise it made drowned out everything else. But that noise was also causing the sick outside to get more restless, and that was why they needed to leave.
Collin went down the ladder first, and once he reached the bottom, he quickly made his way over to the roaming corpse. She watched from the loft, knowing he wanted her to stay up here even if he hadn’t specifically said so, and saw him take out the man who groaned out low.
It was a quick stab to the infected man’s skull, and then Collin went over to the woman who was still trying to get through, clearly stuck halfway in the wall’s opening.
The contaminated woman was struggling to get her arm free, as it was stuck between parts of the wall. Even from this distance and height, Rebecca could make out the skin and muscle being torn from the corpse’s body as she struggled to get through to them. But the infected woman was oblivious to anything aside from the fact that Collin was close by. She reached out with her other arm, trying to grab him even though he was feet from her.
She opened her mouth, made this low, wet, and filthy noise from the back of her throat, and became more frantic to get through. Her flesh continued to tear from her arm, and dark blood oozed onto the ground. But the walking corpses felt no pain. Collin moved over to her, grabbed a chunk of her hair, and tilted her head back.
He plunged his knife into her eye socket, and when the infected slumped forward, finally dead for good, he removed the blade and wiped it on the tattered and stained shirt she wore. Rebecca couldn’t breathe.
Collin had taken those two out without any emotion on his face. He had been like a machine—a well-oiled, dangerous, and heartless machine. But in this world, that was how someone survived.