“Why’d you bring me here then?” said Mackie.
“Only because I want you to keep an eye on her,” said Darcy. “All the men know that there’s a woman on board, and I can say she’s under my protection until I’m blue in the face, but that doesn’t mean they’ll keep away. And I can’t watch her every second.”
“You didn’t kill that girl because you want her for yourself. That’s it, ain’t it, Cap’n? You’ve got a fancy for her. She is a fine lady, she is, very proper and pretty and delicate-like.”
“I don’t want her,” said Darcy, but his voice was gruff. And it had been a long time since… Well, that was true for all the men. A life at sea was not a life of gentility. Women didn’t belong here, and—
Well, he liked to think that he was different than other men. Men like Wickham, for instance.
Mr. Darcy did not bed innocent virgins.
Oh, damnation. Why had she brought up that name? Darcy thought of all of it far more often than he’d like, but he had gone a long, long stretch without any thought of Wickham or of Georgiana. And yet, now, the pain was still so fresh that he could hardly bear it, even after all these years.
He swallowed hard.
“Well, if you don’t want her for yourself I don’t see why you care so much about her,” said Mackie. “Why not just throw her to the men for a bit of sport?”
“You and I both know that would turn out badly,” he said. “It would only cause strife amongst the men. There are too many of them and not enough of her. Besides… that would be awful for her.”
Mackie furrowed his brow. “So, you don’t want anything to happen to this one, then, Cap’n? She did seem to know you. Is she from this mysterious past of yours you won’t talk about?”
“Let’s leave this conversation, Mackie.” Darcy turned on the man and fixed him with a stern look.
“As you wish,” said Mackie, but Darcy thought he detected a little smirk.
She was from his past, but Darcy couldn’t for the life of him figure out how she’d ended up here. It didn’t make any sense. What was a girl like Miss Bennet doing out at sea near India? Even blown off course by a storm, it was a strange place for a young woman to be.
“That’ll be all, then, Mackie,” said Darcy. “Make sure the men keep clear of her. And keep clear of her yourself, you understand?”
“Sure thing, Cap’n,” said Mackie, and he went off out of the cabin.
What the hell was she doing here? And how badly was she going to ruin his life?
He rubbed his temples. If he had any sense, he would just kill her.
* * *
“Well, sit down,” Darcy was saying. He gestured to a seat at the table in his cabin, looking at Elizabeth expectantly.
Elizabeth didn’t want to do anything that he told her to, just on principle. She thought that perhaps if she defied him, it would somehow send him a message that she wasn’t to be trifled with. Perhaps being difficult made her feel better, made her feel as if she wasn’t a prisoner on a pirate ship who might be killed at any moment. So, she simply stood there.
Darcy glared at her. “You want to starve to death?”
The food arrayed on the table did look good. It wasn’t anything like what she’d eat on land, but for ship’s food, it was a fairly decent spread. He’d plundered the live chickens on the ship she’d been traveling on and had one of them killed and cooked. There were tinned green beans and some kind of pudding. And she was hungry. She hadn’t had anything to eat since the day before, and her stomach rumbled. Even so, she lifted her chin.
Darcy shrugged. “Suit yourself.” He sat down himself and began to pick up platters and load his plate with food.
Elizabeth bit down on her lip. And then, hating herself for it, she sat down too.
“Come to your senses, I see?” said Darcy, passing her a platter of chicken. “You’ll have to serve yourself, madam. There are no servants here, as you can see. Still, I’ve taken pains to make you feel a bit more comfortable. I don’t eat this way every day.”
She dipped food onto her plate, heaping piles of it. She didn’t say anything.
“And still you don’t thank me,” Darcy said in a low voice. “Miss Bennet, I’m beginning to think you are an ungrateful wretch.”
Her head snapped up. “Oh, I’m sorry,” she said sarcastically. “Thank you ever so much, Mr. Darcy, for killing everyone on board the ship that was to take me home and for bringing me on board a pirate ship and keeping me in a dark hole that stinks of onions. I’m ever so pleased about it.”
He pointed at her with his fork. “I told you to call me Captain, did I not?”
She clenched her jaw.
He smiled. “And I hardly need to remind you how much worse it could be, do I? Or perhaps I should just kill you right now. You’re quite an inconvenience when all is said and done.”
She shivered. And then the defiance gripped her again. “Is this how it’s going to be?” she said in an even voice. “Any time I do anything that annoys you, you’ll threaten my life?”
Darcy raised his eyebrows, and then he laughed. “You’ve got a bit of fire to you, don’t you, Miss Bennet? I confess I did not get that impression of you back in England.”
“Well, that was a long time ago, sir. I’m not the young and starry-eyed girl I was then.”
“Ah, yes,” he said. “Which brings me to my question. Why are you here? Why aren’t you safe at home married to some gentleman, popping out children?”
It stung to be asked. It shouldn’t, but it did, because she felt like a failure. She deliberately took a bite, chewed slowly, and swallowed before answering. “Well, I was unlucky and didn’t find a husband, so I came to India, hoping that one of the men who had come here from England might marry me, but…” She grimaced. “I was unlucky in that as well. And it seems that my luck has become altogether abominable, since I’ve been captured by you.” She raised her gaze to gauge his reaction. If he looked at her with pity, it would gall her. She didn’t want anything from this man. He might have spared her life, but that didn’t mean he was kind.
But he barely looked up. “Yes, I’m sorry about that, but I’m sure that as soon as you get back to England, you can set about righting all that. You’ll find a husband next Season, to be sure.”
She set down her silverware. She was shocked. Didn’t he realize how far she had lowered herself, how she had scraped, desperate for a match? Apparently, he didn’t.
He glanced at her. “Something wrong with the food?”
She picked up her fork and began eating again.
“A pretty girl like you should have no problem finding a husband,” he said.
She wanted to pick up her plate and hurl it at him. “You think I’m pretty?” she said icily. “Well, you are the only man in England to think so, if six years of waiting for an offer is any indication. And I don’t suppose it’s saying much if I’ve captured your attentions.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Because I’ve become a pirate who kills people?”
“Well, that, and because of your behavior in England before you disappeared,” she said. “Drinking and gambling away your fortune. I understand that you were grieving your sister—”
Darcy choked on his food.
She set down her fork. “Listen, I am no stranger to grief. My father was very dear to me, and when he died, I was quite despondent, and I know that you have lost your parents as well, so losing your sister must have—”
“Don’t ever mention my sister, if you please, Miss Bennet,” said Darcy tightly.
* * *
Darcy was seething. The woman had been on his ship for less than a day, and she had already reopened all his old wounds. As if she could possibly understand that Georgiana’s loss wasn’t painful only because of grief, but because of guilt.
It was his own fault that his sister was dead.
Not entirely his fault. Others shared the blame, notably Wickham. But Darcy had dispatched that cur, and he had thought it w
ould make it better somehow, but it didn’t. Couldn’t. Because Georgiana was never coming back and—
“Listen, Miss Bennet, is this the conversation you truly want to have at this moment? Yes, it so happens that I was careless with my fortune, and that I lost everything. It’s only some bit of ridiculous sentiment, a tiny shred of pride I have left that makes me want to do anything to endeavor to keep my family’s land. And I am willing to do whatever it takes to preserve that, as you can see. I have not blinked at the prospect of turning to piracy. So, if you think that makes me a blackguard and a villain, you are undoubtedly right. If you want any more proof that I don’t care a whit about stupid young chits like yourself, then look no further. I am tolerating your presence on this ship, that is all. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to continue our meal, and perhaps, this time, you could endeavor to be polite, as you were taught back home, and avoid topics that might cause your host to become angry.” He had delivered the entire speech in a breathless voice that grew louder with every sentence.
Miss Bennet slid down in her seat and studied her plate.
He picked his fork back up and shoveled some food into his mouth. It tasted like cardboard. He had quite lost his appetite. Oh, if only Miss Bennet knew how Georgiana’s death haunted him. If only she understood how it had led him down this path, the path where he was a pirate, stealing opium and smoking it in his cabin, doing whatever he could to drive away the pain.
He blamed himself.
It was that thought that had driven him nearly mad after it happened. He had thrown himself into drinking and carousing in London. But that sort of behavior almost always took him to gambling hells, and feeling as if he had nothing more to lose, he had chipped away at his fortune, one hand of cards or roll of the dice at a time.
First he lost the townhouse, but that was no matter. Lots of families rented one during the Season, so that was what he would do.
And then he lost the holdings in Scotland, but they still had the family home.
When he was signing pieces of that away, losing land left and right, he felt numb inside. And he would have continued until it was all gone if he hadn’t come home to Pemberley one day and realized that he had to preserve it, if only for Georgiana’s memory.
So, he had picked himself up and tried to fix it. But he was too far gone, there was nothing to fix. This plan of his was something he’d stumbled into after realizing he didn’t have enough capital to make investments the proper way. It was base and wicked, but he didn’t care.
“Why did you duel with that Wickerly man—Wickham, whatever his name was?” said Miss Bennet in a small voice.
He glared at her. “I thought I had made myself clear—”
“Oh, I don’t care,” she burst out. “There’s no point in being polite to you. If you decide to kill me, it won’t be because I’ve behaved badly. It will just be because of your awful whims. And I don’t like you, not at all.”
“You’ve made that clear,” he muttered.
“It’s only that everyone said that Mr. Wickham had something to do with your sister’s death, but I also heard that she was thrown from a horse, and I don’t see how a man causes a person to be thrown—”
“I find I’ve lost my appetite,” he growled. Abruptly, he stood up. “Both for food and for your company. So, I think it’s time to escort you back to your chamber.”
“My chamber? My prison, you mean?”
“Have a care, Miss Bennet. You’ve already made me angry this evening. I would not test my patience, if I were you.” He delivered this in a terrible voice, but the truth was that she had made him feel so guilty that there was little likelihood of his hurting her now or ever. It seemed now that too much weighed heavy on his conscience, and he had no desire to add to it.
* * *
She didn’t dine with Darcy for the next two days. Instead, food was brought to her, and she ate in her small room. She was also given a lamp and some books to read, so she was able to pass the time in better comfort than the first night. It was odd how the relative discomfort of that first night had set a new low, and now she was happy with such small favors.
Days passed, and she read through all of the books and then started through them again, because the boredom was eating at her. She was getting used to the smell of onions as well. She wondered how long she’d be stuck in this room, and she began to feel a little regretful that she had been so sharp with Darcy. Not because he didn’t deserve it—he did, but because leaving the room to have dinner with him again would be a break in the monotony of it all.
As it was, she only saw a man named Mackie every day when he came to bring her food, lamp oil, and to empty her chamberpot. He rarely said much to her, only that she was more trouble than she was worth and that the captain should probably go ahead and kill her. She didn’t much like Mackie, truth be told.
But one morning—at least she thought it was morning. It was always dark down in her room, and she stayed awake until she got sleepy and then slept until she woke, so she thought of the after-waking times as morning, but she truthfully didn’t know one way or the other.
One morning, Darcy arrived at her door. “Miss Bennet, I’ve come to talk to you about something,” he said.
She was glad to see him, she found, even though he was a terrible man who didn’t deserve her gratitude. She was going to go absolutely insane trapped in that room. “Oh?” she said, smiling at him.
“You’re in better spirits than the last time we spoke,” he said. “Perhaps being locked in your chamber agrees with you.”
She was locked in. She couldn’t get out. She’d tried. Mackie said it was for her own safety. “I’m simply glad to have someone to talk to is all.”
He nodded slowly, as if the thought had just occurred to him. “Yes, I can see how it might be dull for you in there. We’ll have to see about entertainment for you, I suppose.”
She kept smiling. “I should appreciate that, sir. I was beginning to think that your strategy was to keep me locked up for so long that I begged you to kill me.”
“Certainly, it’s not that bad in there, is it?”
“Have you ever been kept alone in a room for days on end?”
He furrowed his brow. “Well, Miss Bennet, I can’t have you running about the ship. It’s for your own safety. The men—”
“Are going to kill me at any time? Why would they do that?”
“Not kill you, Miss Bennet.”
“So, then, what?”
“Why rape you, of course. All of them, one right after the other.”
She bit down on her lip. She’d heard the word, of course, read it in books, even. She thought that it meant to steal something vital from a person, but she had to admit that she couldn’t be sure that was its proper meaning.
“You don’t know what that means, do you?” said Darcy.
“I know what it means.”
“You don’t look properly frightened.” He smiled at her grimly.
She swallowed. “Very well, then. What does it mean?”
“Well, they would take your virtue by force.”
“Oh,” she said, nodding. Virtue was something she must guard until her marriage bed, but she had to admit that she wasn’t sure exactly what that meant either.
He grimaced. “Lord save me from innocent virgins. Of course, you don’t know what that means either, do you?”
She squared her shoulders. She was feeling very uncomfortable.
He leaned close, his voice lowering. “Tell me, Miss Bennet, have you ever wondered exactly what the difference between men and women is?”
“I…”
“It’s between their legs,” he said, giving her a wicked smile. “The men on my ship would rip off your skirts, spread your thighs, and shove their cocks inside you, and it would hurt and it would be invasive and frightening, you wouldn’t like it.”
She felt a strange thrill go through her. She was frightened, surely, but there was something beneath it, something for
bidden and alluring.
Darcy inspected his fingernails, all business again. “Don’t worry, I won’t let them touch you. But if you walk around the ship wherever you want, you’ll be in danger.”
She licked her lips. “I see. I do. It’s only… You are the captain of the ship, aren’t you?”
“I don’t see what that’s got to do with anything.”
“Well, the men listen to your orders. And if you have told them that I am under your protection, then wouldn’t they leave me alone? If they didn’t, it would mean that you didn’t have nearly the control over them you thought, wouldn’t it?”
He laughed. “You deeply underestimate what men who have been kept away from a woman for months on end will do, Miss Bennet.” He inclined his head. “That said, perhaps we can allow you some walks on the deck as long as I am with you. At any rate, this isn’t what I came to talk to you about, as diverting as the conversation has been.”
“It isn’t?’
“No, I’ve come by to tell you that we are going to be boarding a ship and that you will be quite alone except for the cook and a few other men, so it is imperative that you are quiet and do not tempt them to hurt you. I will leave you locked in your room, and you should be very safe, but do not make things hard for yourself, you understand?”
“You’re leaving the ship?” she said. “Leaving me behind?”
“I’ll be back,” he said. “I just have some business to attend to.”
* * *
Darcy strode up and down the deck of the ship. “This is horrendous. What kind of repair do you keep your main mast in? It looks as if it might fall down at any minute, and that can’t be safe.”
“I’m sorry,” said the captain of the ship. “What did you say your name was?”
“Collinbottom,” said Darcy. “Ichabod Collinbottom. Sir Collinbottom to you, as I was knighted just last year. And I tell you, this ship is a disgrace. I’ll have to put it all in my report.”
“Sir Collinbottom, the mast is sturdy as they come. I don’t see how you could possibly think that it needs anything at all. The ship herself is quite a good vessel. I know boats. I been sailing since I was a boy.”
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