by Lara Swann
“You can have all that.” He murmurs. “Next time. But…look around us, Chloe. It can’t get more natural than this.”
I follow his gaze and I do know exactly what he means. I might be terrified, but there’s something magical about being here too, in this clearing that it feels like no one else has ever seen.
With all the things God made…as he brings another one into the world.
That thought has me finally letting go of some of the fear - surrendering myself to whatever was meant to happen. I squeeze Ash’s hand back and I’m suddenly so glad I’ve got him here. To remind me of all of that - of everything that’s good in the world.
“Thank you.” I breathe…and then when the next one hits I push again, hard, and feel something start to give inside me. I look back at him wide-eyed as I recover. “Ash…I think you need to be at that end.”
“But…” He frowns. “What about you? You need to be sitting up…”
“Lean me against a tree or something.” I say, between harsh breaths. “I’m not having my baby coming out and hitting the ground!”
“Okay, okay.”
He picks me up as quickly as he can, and carries me over to the edge of the clearing. It’s uncomfortable and painful but I just hold onto him until I’m propped against the trunk - barely even noticing the roughness of the bark now, with the other throbbing pain in my body - and he crouches down in front of me.
“Oh shit! I see the head.” He looks up at me, wide-eyed. “Oh, Chloe…”
Yeah. That’s what I thought.
He rummages around in the backpack he brought with us, pulling out the picnic blanket, as the next contraction takes me and I push with everything in me.
C’mon, c’mon, c’mon…
It’s the only thought left in my mind, a pulsing beat as I push and push and push, the agony of it ripping through me.
Ash is saying something, trying to encourage me, but I barely hear it as my head tips back and I scream with the pressure of it—and then, just like that, it’s all gone. The pressure disappears, the contraction—everything falls away all at once as something finally, finally slips out of me.
And then I hear the most blissful sound. The best thing in the world.
That first cry.
I’m crying too, tears streaming from my face, but even though I can’t see properly, I reach out. Ash comes around my side and passes my baby over to me. Our baby.
The little miracle we created.
Just us.
We created it…and just now…we delivered it just us, too.
The emotion of it all overwhelms me, and I can’t do anything but stare in awe and wonder at the little one looking up at me, badly wrapped in a picnic blanket and waving her little arms. My baby girl. My perfect, perfect baby girl.
When I glance at Ash, whose arm is around my shoulder and hand rests under her shoulder too, I see the exact same thing on his face.
“You did it.” He whispers. “Look at her.”
“We did it.” I say, my voice hoarse, and then I start cooing to her, wiping her face with the blanket and trying to clean her up a little bit.
We stay like that for a little while as I recover, and I let her start suckling while Ash and I enjoy the bliss of this moment together, totally alone. After a while, though, he looks up at me.
“I think I should go and see whether there’s another nearer road - if I walk around a bit, I might finally get signal again. I don’t want you walking back all that way.”
I nod, too enamored with our baby to start really thinking about the details. When he stands, though, I clutch his hand.
“Don’t be long.” I whisper, and he shakes his head.
“I couldn’t leave the two of you for long for anything in the world.”
He disappears, and I don’t even mind the time sat here in the forest, listening to the natural sounds all around me - and right here, in my arms. It feels like I could be content sat here with her forever.
Eventually, Ash returns, with a beaming smile.
“There’s a road just down there - a ten minute walk, if you’re up for it. If not, we can get an ambulance—”
“Walking should be fine.” I say, giving him a soft smile, and he nods.
“I called a taxi once I got back into range - they’re on their way.”
With Ash’s help - and somewhat awkwardly trying to protect the umbilical cord we haven’t been able to cut - we make it to the road, and the taxi waiting for us. We try to apologize about the mess we’re making, but I think the guy seems so enamored with my newborn baby that he doesn’t seem to mind in the slightest.
We get to the hospital in record time, Ash grinning now that everything is going to be okay and taking photos of me and our baby in the car - sending them to everyone he knows now that he’s got signal again.
“Ash…” I moan, half-objecting.
We’re both a complete mess and they are not flattering photos - but I think I’m secretly pleased. I know I’ll want them for the future.
The hospital see what state we’re in and someone comes over to check me over immediately - and as much as I enjoyed the primal feeling of doing all this outside, I sink into the hospital bed with huge relief. They cut the umbilical cord, check me and the baby over for any issues and it’s not until I hear them say it’s all fine that I finally start to relax.
I look at Ash and see the same relief there.
We’ve done it.
“We didn’t screw anything up.” He whispers to me, and the incredulity in his voice makes me laugh.
“Sounds like a good way to start, huh?” I smile back at him, and he leans down to kiss me deeply.
“She’s perfect, Chloe. My baby mama.” He says, light and warmth shining from his eyes. “I love you both so much - more than anything in the world.”
He leans down to kiss her too, gently stroking her forehead.
The hospital don’t keep us in for long - we’ve already done most of it ourselves, and even though I’m still aching and hurting, I’ve clearly been able to walk around okay. By the time we get home, back to Ash’s shop and the life we’re making together there, Nathan and Jean have already arrived.
I guess those pictures gave them some decent advance warning.
I settle down onto the couch in his open living space and watch as they fuss over our baby, smiling dreamily at it all. Behind them, there’s one of my paintings on the wall - the one of Ash holding a kid up into the air - and it makes me flush with pleasure to see all that promise and potential right behind the very real sight of our baby in his arms.
That’s how it’s going to be. I know it.
We still have the other pictures from the exhibition, but we’ve put them away, and I don’t see us getting them out again. They’re too much a part of me to get rid of completely - and I couldn’t sell them, even though I had some eye-watering offers - but I don’t think either of us are interested in reflecting on them too much.
The whole thing blew up after the images of Ash proposing to me underneath the display circulated online - just like my instructor said they would - and I still can’t believe the interest I’ve had, or the paintings I have managed to sell.
I’m not sure how much time I’m going to have to work on it all now that I’ve got this little one to think about, but I’m still getting offers and interest and I’m determined to follow up on it somehow. I can’t think of anything better than a life spent with Ash and our baby, where I get to dedicate any free time I do have to painting.
Ash comes over to sit beside me, and I lean against him, raising a hand to our baby in his arms as he repeats the story of how I gave birth in the forest again, embellishing the details with every retelling, and making me smile to hear it.
I look at the two people that have been here for every milestone we’ve gone through, enthusiastic and excited with us, and all I can feel is gratitude. For my life, and everything in it.
There’s one person missing, and it tugs
at me a little bit, but it’s not too hard to think about.
Mom.
She hasn’t reached out since I left home, but I still continue to send the occasional message, just letting her know how I’m getting on. I’ll send them both a letter after I’ve recovered from this, with some pictures of my baby girl. I don’t know what will happen to it, or if they’ll even read it, but that’s okay.
I’ve worked out I’m not doing it for them. I’m doing it for me.
If they want to try to reach out, to be involved in our lives in some way, I’m going to be here. It won’t be because of me that my daughter doesn’t know her grandparents. I’m here if they want to make things right - but if they don’t, I’m okay with that too.
I have enough in my life that I can’t be anything but happy with how things have turned out.
Sure, it might not have been easy - but after the way this afternoon played out, I’m starting to wonder whether anything ever will be. Maybe our lives are just going to be that way - a little bit confusing and chaotic, a bit of fraught uncertainty…but with everything working out in the end, as we get through it together.
I look over at Ash and smile at the thought, feeling nothing but love and warmth surrounding me.
Yes. I’d be happy with that.
THE END
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More Books by Lara Swann
Accidental Baby
I’ve spent years raising my sister.
Starting a billion-dollar company to keep her secure.
That’s all that’s ever mattered.
Now she’s at college, I take one night for myself…a little wild freedom…
Guess what happens?
It was only supposed to be one night - but she left me desperate for more.
Searching for the girl with the sparkling blue eyes and wild passion. Ava Lockley.
The one who danced and kissed and cried out with total abandon in my arms.
When she walked out in the middle of the night, I thought I’d never find her again.
Until she turns up at my office days later.
Part of a new team - working for me and totally off-limits.
My business has ruled my life for years…but I can’t stay away.
One night turns into two, stealing moments together and sneaking around.
Then she says she’s pregnant.
A baby. My baby.
If anyone finds out, my once-in-a-lifetime business deal is screwed.
She’ll lose the one chance she’s got at her dream job.
So now we have this secret - and all I want to do is tell people.
I’m going to be a Daddy.
The only thing that stops me is putting her career in jeopardy.
It can’t stay hidden forever - but that doesn’t matter.
This baby is mine. Ava is mine.
And I’ll do whatever it takes for us to be a family.
Even if I have to give up my life’s work.
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Hero Next Door
Ex-Marine. Ex-Wife. Ex-hausted.
I left my brothers in the Marines to start a family.
I left my ex-wife when that family drove her to drink and drugs.
Now all I have left is my son - and he’s all I care about.
I can’t afford to make another mistake.
And the girl who moved in next door? Mistake written all over her.
She’s got the sweetest smile, the hottest damn curves and behind it all…a haunted look.
I can’t take my damn eyes off her.
My powerful body and coarse attitude make her nervous - and as she tries to start a new life away from her abusive ex, she has her own reasons to stay away.
But we can’t help it. We’re f*cking drawn to each other.
And when she tells me how much she wants a baby…
I make every mistake in the book.
Because I want a family again.
I want her. My son. And a baby.
And when her past comes calling…
I’ll fight to hell and back to keep it.
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Single Dad CEO
Kenneth Stark. Billionaire CEO. Sexy Single Dad.
At least, that’s what they want to see.
I don’t tell anyone it’s all falling apart.
My little girl needs more than my divided attention – we both do.
Someone to make us a family again.
But with my billion dollar fortune, I can't trust anyone I date.
Except maybe the one girl who wants nothing to do with me at all.
Jessica Reynolds.
Ten years ago, I broke her heart…
Now she’s back. My new secretary.
The same sexy curves, sparkling humor and gorgeous smile...with a new distrust in her eyes.
I guess she’s not over what happened all those years ago.
The more I see of her…the more I think I’m not either.
It’s a bad idea.
She’s hurt and scared, with her own problems.
I’ve got my daughter to think of - and a damn harassment lawsuit to deal with.
This isn’t the time to be fantasizing about my new secretary.
But then I see her with my little girl. Laughing and playing together. Everything I’ve always wanted.
And none of that matters anymore.
I want her back. I want a family. And I always get what I want.
I made a mistake all those years ago.
Now, I’ll do whatever it takes to win her back.
And this time, I won’t let anything get in our way.
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Single Dad’s Cabin
I came to the mountains so my daughter could heal.
Isolation. Refuge. Sanctuary.
An escape from the past.
I never thought it was a sacrifice.
Not until I met her.
Lying half-frozen in the snow, the storm raging all around us.
So fragile. So vulnerable. And the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
She doesn’t belong here, but there’s no way I’m letting her die on my mountain.
I’ll save her, care for her, and when I’m done…I’ll let her go.
Until I see her with my daughter.
Until she leaves me burning with heat.
And I wonder whether I’ve been doing this all wrong.
Maybe what my scarred little girl needs - what she’s always needed - isn’t the mountain.
Maybe it’s the kind touch and sparkling eyes of a beautiful woman.
Maybe that’s what I need, too.
I know it’s not that simple.
She has a past she won’t talk about.
Mine is clouded with guilt and regret.
But every moment with her makes me think of the future - of a real family.
When our pasts catch up to us?
No f*cking way I’m letting that go.
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Billionaire Baby Daddy
My baby daddy is NYC’s most eligible bachelor – and no one knows.
Sexy, powerful and charming – the world loves Alistair Sinclair.
I did too. Five years ago.
But our fiery passion couldn’t change his cold attitude or arrogant demands – so I left.
I didn’t know what he’d left me with, but when I found out…I was even more determined.
I didn’t want my baby girl growing up under her Daddy’s hard expectations.
Until now.
Five years later and struggling alone – I can’t live with the secret anymore.
I have to tell him. I have to give him the chance to know his little girl.
But I won’t go back to him. I won’t fall for that sexy smile, the impish suggestions and whispered promises. I won’t make that mistake twice – and things are different now.
I’m a Mommy. And he’s…a Daddy.
What I don’t count on?
He sees his daughter and melts.
And suddenly… I’m wanting things I’ve stopped letting myself think about.
A family. A Daddy. A man – touching me, kissing me, driving me to my knees and setting my body on fire. Reminding me that I’m more than just a Mom.
It’s impossible. It can’t end well. We already crashed and burned once.
And appearing on a billionaire’s arm with a four-year-old kid in front of NYC’s elite?
Yeah, everyone is out to get us.
So why am I falling so hard, so fast – when I already know how this will end?
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About the Author
Lara Swann writes hot, sexy romance with a touch of humor and a lot of passion. She has a thing for wounded alpha heroes and the fiery women who steal their hearts.
Her relationships are funny, sexy and spicy, and she gets as many thrills in pitting her characters against each other as she does when they eventually come together in an explosion of heat.
When she isn’t living in one of her many fantasy worlds, she attempts to focus on her respectable day job in a large, too-expensive city and dreams of a lake house in the country.