by T. E. Price
Tom goes through a brief list, but I miss the updates completely as I study his demeanor. It’s no wonder that Sarah went after him, he’s confident, well-spoken, and kind. Their marriage must be perfect. They get along so well, and they go to church together. “If you don’t know who Harrison and Isabel Reed are,” Tom says, pinning my attention back onto the announcements, “they’ll be standing at the back of the auditorium with name tags on once the service ends. A small group will be meeting in their apartment starting this week, so if you’re interested, please go to them for details. My wife, Sarah, and I will also be attending and helping to lead this Bible study, so feel free to ask us questions after the service, too.”
My lips pinch and I wrinkle my nose. Was this the study Harrison told me would be meeting at their home every Thursday, starting in March? Did he tell me Tom and Sarah would be attending? I mean, it would be nice to learn from them and discover what makes their marriage appear so effortless, but I don’t want to sit beside Sarah, week in and week out, drowning in the truth of my broken past, failed marriage, and floundering life. If they knew all that, they would judge me…anyone would. Heck—I judge myself, how can expect others not to?
“Sorry, Hallie,” Harrison starts just as the service ends, “we need to wait at the back of the auditorium for about ten minutes.”
“No worries, I’ll come with you. I mean, I guess I’ll be attending this Bible study too, so it wouldn’t be so bad to get to know some faces.” Better standing with Harrison and Isabel rather than waiting by myself. We exit our row and weave our way to the back of the auditorium. Many come and introduce themselves to me, offering a warm welcome as they catch up with my brother and sister-in-law. Some express interest in their small group, and Harrison and Isabel get lost in sharing the details with those gathering around them. Re-adjusting my purse on my shoulder, a voice from behind startles me.
“Hey, I remember you,” I swing around just as Sarah approaches my side. She tucks a long curl behind her ear as she leans over to give me a hug. My body stiffens. Whoa. This is friendly for a second introduction, but I hug her back, then gently pull away, smiling shyly.
“Yes, I’m Hallie,” I offer, my eyes moving to the floor.
“Of course—Hallie. I didn’t recognize you at first with your hair, but I have to say the color is gorgeous. It makes your eyes pop. I could see the beautiful green in them from the other side of the room.” I look at her and nod my head, my smile spreading. She grins and re-adjusts her off-the-shoulder sweater. “Isabel said you’d be moving in with them, I hope you’re liking Ann Arbor so far. The snow should be gone soon, and hopefully it will start to warm up in the next month. I was raised in Minnesota, so the cold is nothing new for me.”
“Well, I grew up in Michigan,” I shrug. “So, it’s just a matter of re-adjusting, I guess.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Sarah replies, pointing a perfectly manicured finger. “Now that you mention it, I think I remember Harrison saying something about his childhood in Michigan.” Sarah taps that finger mindlessly on her porcelain cheek—her skin is evidence that she hasn’t spent much time in the sun. Tom calls for Sarah to come meet a couple who’s interested in joining the small group. He waves at me and I wave back. Then Sarah says, “Well, it’s nice to see you again, Hallie. I guess I’ll see you on Thursday night.”
Offering her a short nod, I say, “Nice to see you, Sarah,” as she turns and saunters to her husband’s side. He slides an arm around her thin waste, and my stomach tightens. Is this how all Christian couples are around here? Back in Oklahoma, it seems like every other marriage is teetering on the verge of unhealthy. Not Isabel and Harrison’s marriage, though—they’re the one positive example I have in my life, they have the kind of marriage I would love to have one day. Who knows? Maybe I’ll learn from both these couples in the coming months. Between the two of them, I’ll figure out what it takes to have a successful marriage. Maybe my love life doesn’t have to end with the divorce. Maybe there’s hope for something better.
Turning slowly away from the mingling couples, I shake my downtrodden head. Actually, I don’t need any distractions, like visualizing what a future marriage might look like. For now, I’m here to make some money and remain safe. Once I make enough to get on my own feet, I’ll be moving on to the next stage of life. My stomach tightens. And that next stage better not have anything to do with Jonathan. In the meantime, I just need him to leave me alone. My throat begins to close.
CHAPTER 18
Shifting in my seat, I scan each face of the people in Harrison’s small group. Maybe I’d be more comfortable had I attended their first meeting last week. I guess that’s the gig though, what with my new work schedule. I’m not in a position to be requesting shifts, so I get what’s handed to me. At least I’m not working now.
Tom flips through his Bible from where he’s seated directly across from me, using a finger to push his circular frames higher up the bridge of his nose. “We’ll end tonight’s study with this verse,” he says. “Proverbs seventeen verse twelve says, ‘Better to meet a bear robbed of her cubs than a fool bent on folly,’ isn’t that interesting?” He pauses for a moment before looking up, letting us all ponder the verse. “This verse stood out to me when I read it. I don’t know about you all, but I don’t want to encounter an angry mama bear that’s missing her cubs. In essence, I think I would much rather meet a fool bent on folly. But that’s not what scripture tells us is the less dangerous of the two options.”
The group immediately starts offering their various viewpoints related to Tom’s statement, but I don’t. Instead, I turn the verse over and over in my head. Unlike those around me, I can see what the proverb is getting at. In fact, if Jonathan was the fool, I would much rather meet a bear robbed of her cubs. Between the bear and Jonathan, I probably stand a better chance with the bear.
“Thanks for that verse, Tom,” Harrison eventually concludes. “Let’s close in prayer.” As Harrison prays, my heart rate quickens. What kind of destruction is a fool bent on folly capable of? When will he finally figure out I’ve left Oklahoma?
Everyone begins to slowly filter out of the apartment as Isabel coaxes a few to take another brownie before leaving. Jackets are slipped on to ward off the chill of the April, evening air. Good-byes are said, and it takes a few minutes before it’s just me, Harrison, Isabel, Tom, and Sarah left. Harrison and Isabel start gathering the scattered, dirty dishes and bringing them into the kitchen as I begin collecting dirty napkins. With my head bowed and focused on the task, I busy myself to avoid eye contact with Tom and Sarah. Their hands are clasped, and their shoulders are meshed together on the couch.
“It was good to see you working at the gym last week, Hallie.” Tom says. “I’ve had a membership there for a while, so I know how awesome that place is. I’m glad they hired you.”
“Yeah, I’m really liking my new job,” I reply, still refusing to look up and confront their love head on.
“Well, it seems like you fit in there.”
With a shy smile, I stand, tightening my grip around the waded-up bundle of used napkins, “Thanks, I used to work at a local gym in Oklahoma before I came here, so it’s just a matter of learning the ways of this new gym and applying my skills.” My head drops a little. If only I didn’t have to leave Oklahoma, then I’d still have the comfort of familiarity.
“Their loss is our gain,” Sarah chimes. “From the little I’ve seen, I can tell you’re really good at your job. I may be coming to you for some exercise pointers.” My heart lifts. I would gladly workout with Sarah. Could she be a new friend? I grin and nod at the idea, then move to the trashcan in the kitchen. Emerging into the living room again on the heels of Harrison and Isabel, they both take a seat near Tom and Sarah, so I do the same. My insides stiffen. I’m still not so sure about them just yet. They seem great, but if they get to know me, who I am, and everything about my past, I can bet they will choose to keep their distance. Can one unhealthy marriage bleed
into another that easily?
“So, how did you guys feel tonight went?” Harrison asks the group.
A silent nod is all I’m willing to offer, but Isabel pipes up, “I thought it went really well—we all could use a little reminder about applying wisdom in our life. And what Tom added at the end with the verse about the bear missing her cubs—that certainly paints a picture.”
“Yeah, that verse really stood out to me as I was preparing for tonight,” Tom responds. His eyes slide over to his wife before he says, “I mean, I don’t know what it would look like to encounter a mama-bear missing her cubs.” Sarah shifts in her seat as she abruptly breaks eye contact with Tom, then he clears his throat and adds, “But the thought of it certainly is terrifying.”
The tension in the room thickens and hangs between us for a moment as I witness the momentary awkwardness between Tom and Sarah. Then, Sarah quips, “But it’s not nearly as dangerous as meeting a fool bent on folly.” Everyone laughs, and like an evaporating mist, the tension is gone. All that’s left are two loving couples, laughing together and hold onto each other… and then there’s me.
My phone vibrates in my back pocket. Who could be calling me? I hope it’s not work—did I mess up my schedule? I yank my phone out and stifle a gasp. Jonathan’s number flashes across the screen, and my blood freezes in my veins. My gaze darts quickly to Harrison and Isabel, then I race to my room without an excuse … my face says it all.
“What do you want?” I bark into the phone the moment I close my bedroom door, my false bravado hopefully masking my tremors. I wish I could ignore his call. But that’s just it—I need to know what he wants. If there are ways to placate him over the phone, then I have a better chance of keeping those I love safe.
Jonathan pauses for a moment, lapping it up. I can almost see him smiling, as if he has already recognized the affect he’s having on me. “I thought I would call to see where my wife is…since she’s clearly not in Oklahoma anymore.”
His jeering tone is enough to make me vomit. “I’m not your wife. And it’s none of your business where I am.”
“Well actually, it is my business, Hallie,” he retorts, the playful taunting in his voice immediately replaced with a rasp. “You see, I can’t have it look as bad as it does around here, what with my wife quitting her job and leaving town. Ainsley told me at church this past Sunday that you’ve been out of the lake house for weeks now. This just doesn’t look good on me, so it’s time to stop playing this little game and come home.”
I rock back, as if I’ve been kicked square in the chest. He knows why I’ve put off the divorce. All his hope is gone, now it’s his time to coerce me into coming back. “That place is not my home,” I hiss through clenched teeth. “I’m not coming back, and nothing you say can convince me, so I think this conversation is over.”
“I thought you’d say something like that,” he shoots back before I can hang-up, “so, I’d like to add a little incentive for your return.” A shiver creeps up my back. I close my eyes and wait as he leaves me processing the possibilities, like a spider luring a fly to its death. “You remember the dogs, don’t you?” My breath catches, “I know they miss you, Hallie. But I couldn’t care less about them.” He snorts an almost inaudible laugh, “So, here’s the deal. I’m not gunna feed the dogs until you return home. And after a week, if their starvation hasn’t killed them already, I’m just gunna start shootin’ em.”
My mouth falls open and tears rush to my eyes. “You wouldn’t!” I cry.
“Oh yes, I would.”
The sound of heavy steps pound to my room, and my door jerks open. “Is everything alright?” Harrison gushes, his protective tone reverberates through the room, but not before I can cover the speaker with my hand. I nod hurriedly, swiping at a tear. Did Jonathan just hear him?
“Who was that?” booms Jonathan.
My heart thumps hard against my chest, “It’s none of your business. When will you get it through your head that I’m not yours anymore. We’re getting divorced. I’m not coming back. It’s over between us.”
“Well, it sounds like it’s over because you’ve found another man,” he accuses. Harrison hesitates in the doorframe. I clench my eyes shut, nod my head quickly, then open them in time to see Harrison duck out of the room with a heavy sigh, closing the door quietly behind him to extend privacy. “It’s true—isn’t it?” Jonathan continues. “I just heard a man’s voice, and he’s clearly wanting to protect you, so either it’s your brother or some guy you ran away with. Which is it, Hallie?”
Adrenaline spikes as I begin to pace. He’s backed me into a corner; either I admit to a non-existent affair or to tell him where I’m hiding. Air barely passes through my tight throat as I blurt, “It’s neither. Like I said, my life is none of your business.”
His dangerous, blood curdling laugh tingles my eardrum, then he says, “Well, let’s hope it’s your brother then, because if not, I’ll kill you, Hallie. I’ll kill you, then I’ll kill him—whoever he might be. Remember Mills Pond … your burial place? Well, maybe I’ll start burying the dogs there first.” And at that, the line goes dead.
My hand drops slowly to my side as I stand uselessly in the middle of my room, as if my feet are glued to the floor. It doesn’t matter if there are hundreds of miles between us, he will follow me wherever I go.
The door behind me opens once more, and a startled swivel brings me face-to-face with my concerned sister-in-law. “I’m so sorry to intrude, Hallie,” she offers from the partially opened door. With a quick glance at the phone still in my hand, she adds, “Tom and Sarah left just after you took that call, and Harrison thought I should check on you—that was … him, right?”
Offering an exhausted nod, I plop down on the side of my bed and toss my phone on the pillow. “He told me to come back to Oklahoma. That he was going to kill the dogs if I don’t.”
Isabel’s head juts forward. She takes one exasperated glance into the hallway, then slides into the room. The moment she closes herself in, she leans back, as if the door can hold her weight and the burden of what she just heard. “He can’t mean that,” she says with a hint of question threading her words. “I mean, do you think he would really do that?” I shrug, nausea finding my throat. Those poor dogs. Isabel tips her head and adds, “You know, I bet he’s out of options, and this is his last attempt to get you back. He’s just trying to scare you, he wouldn’t really kill the dogs—they’re his hunting dogs.”
“Well, his threat is almost working,” I sigh, my chin quivering. “I want to go back just to save those dogs.”
Isabel drifts over to the side of the bed and lowers herself to a seated position beside me. “Don’t let him frighten you into doing anything that would put you in harm’s way. He’s proven just how dangerous he is, Hallie. Now that the bruises and scratch marks have healed, you don’t want to place yourself anywhere near the man who won’t hesitate to hurt you again.”
I gulp. Oh, he’ll hurt me, alright. He’ll kill me. I grip the comforter beneath me until my knuckles turn white. “He mentioned something about killing me, too.”
“What?” Isabel rears back, suddenly poised, as if she’s squaring up for a boxing match.
I shake my head. “It’s only because he heard Harrison speak to me in the background and he thought I was with another guy.” With one hand massaging my temple, I explain, “A couple of years ago, he told me how he would kill me if he got the chance, and how he would make it seem like I disappeared with some guy instead. When he overheard a man’s voice, he made sure to remind me of that plan.”
Isabel sucks in a deep breath, “He doesn’t know where we live, and he has never been to Ann Arbor, so you’re safe here. But you’ve got to tell someone at Connect Church. Someone should know about all this—can you reach out to anyone?”
Lowering my hand and my gaze to my lap, I reply, “No, there’s no one there I trust right now. Ainsley told him at church that I left the lake house, which means he’s probab
ly still serving on the worship team now that I’m not there to protest against it.” I bite my bottom lip, “I just don’t understand why he’d still be attending that church. Now that I’m gone, he doesn’t need to keep putting on a show.”
Isabel starts to bounce one knee as she twitches her pursed lips back and forth. “He’s probably still there because he wants to lure you back. If you do go back in response to his threats, and he’s no longer at the church, then everyone will see through his act, and that would defeat his initial reasoning as to why he returned in the first place.” She breathes in slowly, “Which means that he’s going to keep going to that church and keep fooling everyone in the community as long as he thinks there’s a chance to get you back.”
“Well, I’m not going back. And if he thinks he can use the dogs to get me back, he’s wrong.” A shudder straightens my slumped shoulders. This has to be my decision—and I’ve got to stick with it. I can’t think about those precious dogs and how much I love them. Please, Lord, don’t let him hurt the dogs.
Isabel places a hand on my knee, “I think you should block his number, Hallie. He’s only going to keep playing this little game of calling and threatening you until he can find something that works.”
I unconsciously begin biting at a hangnail. Should I block him again? She might be right—he probably will keep calling. “I can’t,” I finally breathe. “With the divorce coming up, I need to be able to hear from him in case anything happens. I mean, what if he goes after my parents when he figures out the dog thing won’t work?” Angling my head to one side as if I’ve lost all my willpower, I whisper, “I just need him to sign those papers, but I know he’s going to fight till the very end.”