by Devney Perry
It had to end.
Dreams were only meant to last a few short hours. Already I’d had mine for weeks.
“There’s no rush,” Londyn said for the hundredth time since I’d left West Virginia. Every time we’d talked, she’d reminded me to take some time.
“I know, but this entire stay in Montana was just a vacation,” I lied. “It’s time to move on.”
To where, I wasn’t sure. After I delivered the Cadillac to Karson, I had no idea where to go next. But I had twelve hundred miles to figure it out.
A wail sounded in the background. “Uh-oh.”
“She’s exhausted.” Londyn sighed. “Too much excitement today and she’s fighting sleep.”
“I’ll let you go. Bye.” I hung up the phone but didn’t get out of the car.
Mine was the only one in the driveway besides Liddy’s Jeep and even though Easton wasn’t inside, I wanted a moment to prepare for tonight.
Things between us had been different over the past two weeks—uncomfortable and distant—and it had everything to do with my past.
I should have stayed quiet on that horseback ride. I shouldn’t have told him about my mother.
Easton came over a few times a week and we’d have dinner together. We’d have sex. But there was a distance between us, even when we’d fall asleep in the same bed. I found his gaze waiting for me more often than not, and in the quiet moments, he’d look at me like he was expecting me to decide something.
Except what was there to decide? I wasn’t going to cut off my mother. No matter how much I struggled with her as a parent and what she’d done to me, she had no one in the world except me. If he wanted me to disown her, he’d be disappointed.
What the hell had I been thinking telling him everything? Why couldn’t I have just kept my mouth shut?
And now I had to survive another family function as the one non-family member. I’d pretend that everything was fine. I’d pretend to be happy.
And I’d pretend not to be in love with Easton.
The days were getting harder and harder to endure. Every hour I had to remind myself this was temporary. And the longer I stayed, the more painful it would be to drive away.
Easton hadn’t asked me to stay. He wouldn’t ask me to stay. This was casual. This was for fun. He certainly hadn’t insisted we stop hiding our relationship from his family.
But what if we did? What if we told them we were together? What if I came back after driving the Cadillac to California?
Would he want me back?
“Are you coming inside?” Carol hollered from the front door.
I nodded and pushed open the door to the Cadillac, stepping outside and hurrying to the door. The snow was falling lightly and I brushed the stray flakes from my shoulders and my hair before stepping inside. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
“You too.” Carol took the gift bag from my hand, peeking inside, as I shrugged off my coat. “Oh, you are so sweet. These are gorgeous. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” I smiled as she slid out the charcuterie board I’d found at a gift shop in Missoula last weekend. I’d skipped the last two Saturdays with Easton, using holiday shopping as an excuse for two trips into Missoula.
Leaving the ranch had been good for me. It had been a reminder that there was an entire world out there for me to explore, and with my disposable income, I could go anywhere I wanted. There was more to the world than the Greer Ranch.
A month ago, that idea had excited me. Now, it made my stomach knot.
“Are you okay?” Carol asked. “You seem distracted.”
“No, I’m great,” I lied. “Can I help with anything?”
“Of course not. You’re our guest, so you can sit down and relax.”
Right. I was the guest.
The kitchen island was loaded with appetizers. There was a spinach dip and a wheel of brie. Crackers. Olives. Prawns. Three bottles of wine were open and four different bottles of whiskey were out beside a handful of tumblers.
The smell of a cooking turkey filled the air and Liddy was at the sink, peeling potatoes. “Hey, Gem.”
“Hi.” I loved that she called me Gem. There weren’t many who did, just those I loved. “This looks amazing.”
“Help yourself.” Carol handed me a glass of wine. “I hope you haven’t eaten anything all day. We’ll never get through all this.”
The doorbell rang as she popped an olive into her mouth.
“I’ll get it.” Before she could argue and remind me again that I was a guest, I set down my wine and hurried to the door, expecting Katherine. Besides me, she was the only one who rang the doorbell. But it wasn’t my friend standing on the stoop.
It was the bartender from town. Liz—funny Liz.
“Hey there.” She smiled, taking a step forward to cross the threshold.
“H-hi.” I shook out of my stupor and moved aside, holding the door for her. Then I remembered my manners. “I’m Gemma.”
She hung up her coat as I closed the door, then held out a hand. “Liz. Nice to officially meet you.”
“You too.” Normally, I’d make polite conversation, but my mind went blank.
Liz wore a fitted sweater dress. It was far from scandalous with its long sleeves and turtleneck, but paired with her knee-high boots, she looked beautiful and sexy. Her hair was pinned up in a pretty knot and her makeup was elegant.
I was in black jeans and a plain sweater that was far from sexy. I hadn’t even worn heels.
“Liz, welcome.” Carol breezed past me and pulled Liz into a hug. “What are you drinking tonight?”
“Wine, please. Thanks for having me.”
“You’re always welcome. I’m just glad JR ran into you at the store yesterday.”
“Me too.” Liz laughed. “This is much better than a chicken pot pie at home alone.”
So she was here, a guest like me, who would have been alone for Thanksgiving if the Greers hadn’t come to her rescue.
The door behind us opened, forcing us all deeper inside as Cash walked in with Katherine following close behind.
Hugs and greetings were exchanged as Jake and JR came in from the den where they’d been playing pool. Each carried a tumbler of whiskey in their hand.
Unless there were more guests, everyone was here except Easton. The others had barely removed their coats when the door opened and he stepped inside.
His eyes found mine immediately and hope bloomed that he’d be different tonight. But then his eyes flickered straight to Liz and a broad smile stretched across his handsome face. “Hey, Liz. Glad you could make it.”
Wait, he’d known she was coming? And he hadn’t mentioned it to me?
Nice.
The group shuffled toward the kitchen, everyone collecting drinks and sampling the pre-dinner smorgasbord. I stuck close to Katherine, not wasting any time as I drained my first glass of wine.
Easton was kind enough to pour Liz’s glass.
I refilled my own.
“Did your parents make it to Texas?” JR asked Liz.
“They did. And they’ve already inundated my phone with photos of the baby.” She took out her phone and pulled up one of the photos, earning a sigh from Katherine and Liddy as they took in the pink bundle.
“That’s my new niece,” Liz told me. “My brother lives in Austin and he and his wife just had a baby on Monday. My parents flew down to spend the week with them.”
Leaving her here alone for Thanksgiving.
“She’s beautiful,” I said, honestly. There was something about a baby’s pout that always melted my heart.
I wasn’t sure if I’d get to be a mother. At the rate I was going, it was unlikely, but I’d be a good aunt. Londyn’s daughter, Ellie, would be loved beyond measure.
“I wanted to go”—Liz set her phone aside—“but someone had to be around to run the bar.”
“Liz’s family has owned the Clear River Bar for, what?” JR asked her. “Thirty years?”
She nodded. �
��Started by my grandfather.”
“He and I went to school together,” Jake added. “A hell of a long time ago.”
“Remember that time your granddad came out here and tried to steal my horse?” JR chuckled. “Swore up and down that I’d been so drunk at the poker table the night before that I’d forgotten I’d bet my horse and he’d won.”
She giggled. “He was such a goof.”
An hour later, I’d lost count of the number of stories the group had told about Liz’s family or tales from her bar. She fit into the mix so well, that with each one, my status as guest felt more and more obvious.
Liz had been Cash’s date to their senior prom. Liz had thrown Katherine’s twenty-first birthday party. Liz had gone skiing with Easton a few years ago and had come home with a broken nose, courtesy of a tree branch.
Liz. Liz. Liz.
She was sweet. She was funny and charming.
And she was infatuated with the man who’d been sharing my bed.
The way she smiled at him was subtle, like a girl who’d learned to hide her long-time crush well. Unless you were looking closely—which I was—it might seem like a tight friendship. But her eyes were on him a tad too often. When he laughed, her cheeks flushed. She made to stand beside him, casually shifting whenever he moved.
And the part I hated most was that he’d be better off with someone like her.
By the time we sat at the dining room table, I’d lost my appetite. The three glasses of wine I’d consumed had given me a sharp headache.
Easton held out Liz’s chair, taking the seat beside her, per Carol’s seating assignments.
I was ushered to the chair directly across from them, giving me the perfect seat to watch the two reminisce.
But he didn’t look at me, not once. Easton was keeping up his end of the bargain, pretending like I was nothing more than the fleeting guest.
Even if we weren’t pretending, what could I contribute to this trip down memory lane? I couldn’t razz him about the time in college when he’d brought his girlfriend, the vegetarian, home to a cattle ranch only to have her dump him one week later. I didn’t know the name of his dog that had died in eighth grade or the truck he’d driven in high school.
I didn’t know much about Easton’s past because he’d never offered much up.
No, I was the headcase we normally examined. I had to give him credit. Easton listened like he cared, but really, I doubted he’d wanted to know the horrid details.
It hadn’t stopped me from blathering on though, had it? God, I was so stupid.
I didn’t fit here. These were nice people, but even Katherine fit in better. She knew where to get the silverware from Carol’s kitchen to help set the table. She knew where the dishes went after unloading the dishwasher. She offered to fix Jake and JR a drink and knew without asking how they took their whiskey.
“You okay?” Katherine whispered at my side as we passed platters and bowls of the feast around.
“Yeah,” I lied. “Just a bit of a headache.”
Katherine knew Easton and I were sleeping together, but whenever we’d talked, I’d downplayed my feelings for him. She thought we were casual. She thought we were fleeting. She didn’t know how much I’d grown to care for him and she definitely didn’t know I’d had a jealous breakdown about Liz.
“Do you want me to get you some Advil?” She pointed toward the bathroom down the hall because she knew where they kept the medicine. That shouldn’t have annoyed me, but it did.
“I’ll be fine.” I scooped a heaping spoonful of stuffing on my plate. “Nothing some carbs and more wine won’t knock out.”
“Amen.” She picked up her fork and dug into her candied yams.
With any luck, we’d all be too busy eating for much more conversation. And once this meal was over, I’d explain my headache was unbearable and return to the cabin where I’d barricade myself in the bedroom, hide under the covers and if Easton showed up, he’d find the door locked.
“So, Gemma. You and Katherine grew up together, right?” Liz asked.
“That’s right.” I looked to Katherine who gave me a slight headshake, which meant she’d told the Greers about our childhood, but not the local bartender.
I doubted many others outside this family knew how we’d grown up because it wasn’t easy to share.
“And you’re working at the lodge?” Liz asked.
I nodded. “Just while I’m here. Katherine was nice enough to give me something to do until Christmas.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were leaving. I thought you lived here.”
“No, she doesn’t.” Easton spoke before I could answer. He finally dared to make eye contact.
Those eyes were unreadable. The tone of his voice wasn’t flat or annoyed or cold, it was just matter-of-fact.
I didn’t live here.
So why stay until Christmas? This dare, his challenge, didn’t matter. I had nothing to prove, not anymore.
I’d already lost.
“I’m on my way to California,” I told Liz. “I just came to visit Katherine.”
“Ah.” She nodded and there was no mistaking the hint of relief in her gaze. She’d pegged me as competition, even though Easton excelled at making sure I looked insignificant to him. Liz nudged Easton’s elbow with her own. “I’m going snowmobiling next weekend. Want to come?”
“Maybe. What day?”
“Saturday. Mom and Dad will be back to cover the bar.”
I held my breath, waiting to hear his answer. Saturdays were our day. Or at least they had been until I’d opened my mouth and told him about Mom.
“Let me see how the week shakes out,” he told her. “Maybe.”
Maybe.
He hadn’t said no.
My nose stung with the threat of tears but I kept them at bay, taking a long drink of my wine and concentrating on the meal.
Conversation around me continued, light and jovial and festive. But the delicious food had lost its flavor. The wine wasn’t numbing the pain. And the headache I’d lied to Katherine about began pounding in my temples.
It was only by sheer force and years of practice that I managed to hold a slight smile through dinner. But when Jake mentioned giving it an hour before eating dessert, I knew my façade wouldn’t survive the rest of the night.
“Excuse me.” I stood from the table and went to the powder room, closing my eyes once the door was locked and dragging in a shaky breath.
I just wanted to go home.
But where was home? Boston? California? The cabin?
None of those places were home. I was filthy rich and utterly homeless. The closest thing I had was that Cadillac outside.
Maybe it was time to get in it and get on with my life.
I washed my hands and gave myself a few minutes to compose my emotions, then I returned to the main room, finding Carol and Liddy in the kitchen clearing plates. “Thank you both for an incredible meal.”
“You’re welcome.” Liddy smiled. “Would you like more wine?”
“Actually, I think I’m going to get going. I’m getting a nasty headache and I don’t want to infect everyone with a lousy mood.”
“Oh, no.” Carol rushed around the island for a hug. “Do you want to rest in the guest bedroom and see if it passes?”
“My sweatpants are calling. I think I’ll just sneak out.”
“You go on ahead. We understand.”
Liddy came over and hugged me goodbye, then without returning to the dining room, I gathered my coat from the hook beside the door and slipped into the night.
The Cadillac’s tires crunched on the hard snow as I steered the car on the bumpy road to the cabin. It was quiet outside, not a breath of wind rustled through the trees. The black and soundless night only made it more obvious I was alone.
That there was only one heartbeat in the car. There were only one set of footsteps in the fresh snow outside the cabin. There was only one jacket to hang on the coat hook.
; Easton’s scent clung to the air and I could smell his spice. I dragged in a deep breath, wanting so much to curl into a ball on the couch and cry.
It wasn’t his fault. Easton was being nice to his friend and nothing he’d done tonight had been remotely flirtatious. Like a typical man, Easton probably didn’t even know Liz had feelings for him.
This urge to scream and wail was not on him. This was my issue.
Yet another to add to my growing collection.
Tears welled in my eyes, but I swiped them away and marched to the bedroom.
I knew when it was time to leave. I’d had this same feeling at sixteen. I’d had this same feeling in Boston.
My time here was over. Montana wasn’t the place for me anymore.
So I dragged my empty suitcase from the closet.
And packed.
Chapter Fourteen
Easton
“Here, I’ll take that.” I stood from the table, collecting Liz’s empty plate to take to the kitchen along with my own.
“Oh, I can help.” She began to stand but I shook my head.
“Nah. You sit. I’ve got it.” Something was wrong with Gemma and I’d been looking for a reason to leave the dining room, but I hadn’t wanted to make it obvious.
Mom and Grandma were in the kitchen and I’d expected to find Gemma with them, but she was nowhere in sight. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” Grandma took the dishes from my hand and put them in the sink. “I’m going to grab the ice cream from the freezer in the garage, Liddy. Just in case anyone wants dessert.”
“Okay.” Mom pushed the start button on the dishwasher. “I’ll get out the pies.”
As she buzzed around the kitchen, I walked into the living room, thinking Gemma had wanted a quiet moment alone, but the room was empty. Where was she?
“She’s not here.”
I turned around at Mom’s voice. “Who?”
“Gemma.” She rolled her eyes. “You two might be fooling everyone else, but I wasn’t born yesterday.”
“Oh,” I muttered.
I shouldn’t have been surprised. Mom had a nose for secrets.
Cash and I had only gotten away with throwing one bonfire kegger at the ranch. She’d sniffed out all the other planning attempts and had smothered them. And she’d admitted years ago that the only reason we hadn’t been busted for the one successful party was because I’d been in college and it had been Cash’s senior year sendoff.