I’ll be completely under his spell.
With a whimper, I jerk free of him, crashing my palms against his chest so hard he almost falls out of his chair.
He manages to catch himself. “Stacy?” he exclaims, startled by the sudden movement. “What’s wrong?”
My head shakes wildly back and forth with so much energy that my hair flies into my eyes, though I don’t take a second to push it away. “I can’t, Jake. This is wrong. I can’t do this.”
“Wait—” he begins, reaching out as if to embrace me again, but I leap up from my barstool and put a healthy distance between us, hoping that if I can suck down a single breath of fresh air that isn’t laced with his enthralling aroma I may be able to breathe again.
“You and I have to be professional. You’re my student’s guardian, and that’s just the way things have to be.”
“But Ryan needs your help,” Jake says quietly. He runs his hand through his hair in frustration. “It’s more than just that.” He blows out a breath. “I need you, Stacy.”
He pins me with those chocolate eyes and it’s all I can do not to retreat back to his welcome arms.
“I understand you both need someone reliable in your lives, someone to keep you accountable and someone who both of you can have in your corner. I’m willing to help however I can, but we can’t complicate this with anything physical.” My voice is tense and strained. “Not if we want what’s best for Ryan.”
Jake’s eyes are solemn, his gaze flickering toward my mouth as I speak like he still longs to kiss me. I keep my own eyes locked on his face, refusing to give myself the enjoyment of looking over his perfect body. I have to control myself. I studied and worked hard all those years through school so I could make a difference in the lives of many, not to sleep with one of my student’s guardians on a lustful whim.
“Why don’t you sit back down and we can talk about this more?” he says quietly, gesturing back at the barstool where I was a moment ago.
Instead of agreeing with him, which I badly want to do, I shake my head and gather my things.
“I’ll see you at school, okay?” I force out huskily, then I turn and walk as fast as I can toward the door.
He chases me, but only to the door, and then he stops and watches me as I punch the elevator button frantically. When it takes longer than two seconds and I can still feel Jake’s eyes boring a hot hole into my spine, I flee down the stairwell.
With every step I force between him and me, my heart seems to shatter apart in my chest.
If I'm so sure that I’ve made the right choice in putting distance between Jake’s heart and mine, why does it hurt so much?
Chapter 13
Jake
Time seems to stand still as I watch Stacy leave.
I didn't want to let her go. It took all of my might not to race down those steps and lift her up into my arms and spin her around so I could plant a desperate kiss on those perfect pink lips of hers. But I’d held myself back. I'm not the type of guy to push a woman into something she doesn’t want.
It is strange though, I’ll admit, to be on this side of bad romance. I'm used to feeling desired and longed for. I'm used to being the chased instead of the chaser.
If my heart wasn’t aching so much from letting her go, I might’ve felt the faintest hint of a thrill. The idea of chasing Stacy is more than enticing. It’s strangely refreshing to have someone in my life who doesn’t want me only because I’m The Hartbreak Kid.
Women have always been easy for me to come by, but Stacy isn’t like any other woman.
She humbles me to the core.
It never crossed my mind that she would turn me down when I was holding her hand in mine. I thought I had her, hook, line and sinker. But that wasn’t the case at all.
Her rejection stung—bad. But it’s also a harsh reminder of just how strong my feelings are becoming.
Stacy is one of a kind.
I guess I started to think all women were like the Hartbreakers who chased me around and tried to seduce me into a one-night stand so they could brag about it to all their friends. But Stacy has her own ambitions and morals and desires. And even though she probably thinks those ideals of hers are incompatible with mine, I think we’re more alike than she’s willing to admit.
Maybe, somehow, I can prove to her that we’re not so different after all. It’s going to take a hell of a lot of work, but Stacy is worth it.
“Uncle Jake?” a sleepy voice says from behind me.
Even though I don’t want to, I step back slowly from the doorway with one lingering glance toward the stairwell and shut the door. I don’t lock it. Not yet. Just in case there’s the chance she may come back.
“What’s up, kiddo?” I answer with a forced smile.
As I look at him, I also find myself startled by the spotlessness of the apartment again. It’s still so new it catches me off guard. I take a moment to stand in awe of everything Stacy’s done. I didn’t realize it was as bad as it was before she tidied up.
She’s right though. I’m not doing all that I can for Ryan. The realization is like a slap in the face.
He takes in my expression, not reciprocating the smile I'm still forcing so hard it makes my cheeks ache.
“Where did Stacy go?” he asks.
When did he start calling his teacher by her first name?
It seems they’ve really bonded over the past weeks they’ve spent together.
“She had to go home, kid. Even teachers need sleep, buddy.”
He contemplates my words. I think there’s a part of him that thinks teachers live and breathe their classrooms. “Were you two arguing? I heard you talking loud and it woke me up.”
“Nah. Just talking about boring adult stuff.” The last thing I want is for him to have extra strife in his life.
I walk over to him and pick him up. In his grief he’s lost some weight over the last year, but I can already see just a little more healthy definition to his body from running around on the soccer field. His appetite has been better too. It probably helped to get some real food in him tonight instead of takeout like I usually get us.
He lets me hold him and for a moment it strikes me that he probably won’t allow the action for very much longer. He’s getting older by the day. He’s not that cute little kid who used to toddle across the carpet between Jenny and me anymore. He’s becoming a little man, slowly but surely.
He’s already had to grow up quicker than he should have with his mother’s loss. I need to do what I can to make sure he stays young for as long as possible. Jenny would want that.
“What’d you think of Stacy’s cooking?” I ask, carrying him back toward his bedroom.
He yawns, his head on my shoulder, one arm around my neck and the other dangling toward the floor.
“It was really good. And she let me stir the sauce and taste it whenever I wanted. She said that’s the chef’s tax.” He noisily licks his lips as though he could still taste the delicious meal.
I laugh, the sound in my chest reverberating against my nephew’s cheek before I slowly lower him into his racecar bed. He lays back, eyelids heavy even as his head hits the soft pillow.
I settle down in the chair by his bed and tug up the blanket to tuck around him. A plush panda bear keeps a careful eye on us from the corner of his bed until he reaches up for it without looking and cuddles it up against him.
“Is she going to come back?” Ryan asks in a voice so tiny that I almost miss his question entirely.
It makes my heart stop, the way he looks suddenly terrified at the thought of losing another person in his life.
But I don’t know if, or when, Stacy will return to us. She claims she wants to remain a stable source of support for my grieving nephew and I, but I don’t know exactly what that means.
For now, I don’t have a good answer for the kid, and that hurts worse than anything.
“You’ll get to see her every day at school,” I say with a grin, lightly tickling
him to distract him from his worry.
It works and he squeals and clings to his panda bear even tighter. He’s too tired to brood over his worries much more, so I grab his favorite book off the end table and start to read. Soon his eyes drift shut until he’s snoring away. I keep reading for a few more minutes, just in case he can hear the story wherever he is in his dream world. Then I set the book on his end table before leaning over and pressing a kiss to his forehead just like Jenny used to do.
A few moments later I walk out into the living room and take stock of things. This is no place for a kid. Even though Ryan’s toys are strewn about, you take one glance at this place and you know it’s a bachelor pad. Plus, his room still looks more like an office than a place cozy enough for a child to feel at home.
I grab my phone, flicking open the browser.
Change has always been something I avoided like the plague. I joined the NFL right out of college and I’ve been with the same team ever since. I’ve never had to move around a lot or juggle responsibilities before my sister died. I’ve been dragging my heels, pretending that I can just force Ryan into the life I’ve already built instead of expanding that life to accommodate him. But now, if I'm going to show Stacy just how seriously I’m taking everything she’s said to me, I'm going to have to do just that.
I settle down on the couch and kick up my legs.
Step one, get us some real food.
I still don’t have the time to go grocery shopping, but fortunately there seems to be an abundance of delivery services. I sign up for one, proud of myself for even scoping out a discount coupon as well. I may have plenty of money, but more money in my pockets means more I can channel toward Ryan.
Next, I decide to find an interior decorator to help me revamp this place so it’s a kid-friendly haven. I read a few reviews and write down a number to call in the morning. It’s too late now.
Then, to top off my productive evening of newfound adulting, I sign up for some parenting magazines and even a few online cooking lessons so I can be better equipped to feed Ryan. That way there’s less pressure on Stacy to mold me into the perfect father figure.
When I’ve finished, hours have passed and long shadows have crept across the carpet.
I trudge to bed, knowing I have to get up early to help Ryan get ready for school and then head to practice, but I feel more at ease and content than I have all year.
I can do this.
I can change.
I can prove to Stacy that I'm worth it.
Chapter 14
Stacy
Friday can’t get here fast enough.
Even though I adore spending time with my students and seeing them grow and develop and tackle new milestones in their education, I think this week I’ve been looking at the clock as much as they have, just as eager to call it a wrap on these hectic few days.
Chloe and Morgan, despite the absolute craziness of their schedules, have dedicated one Friday every month for a girls’ night—and I need it desperately this month.
The date may change from month to month, but we’ve never missed a single one since becoming friends. That single date every month has become my lifeline. Getting to catch up with both of my best friends is always so much fun and the thing I look forward to most.
I love hearing updates on Chloe and Donovan’s nonprofit that provides water to impoverished countries. She always brings photos of the latest places around the globe that the two lovebirds have traveled, whether it’s to dig irrigation trenches themselves or attend high-profile outreach programs. I never would’ve guessed my old roommate Chloe would be such a world traveler, but I suppose when she has someone like Donovan at her side, she must feel like she can do anything.
Morgan, too, has seen her share of the world.
Ever since she was recruited to be the model for the ad campaign publicizing Eric’s rock band, she’s been booking huge shoots, not to mention that Eric’s band has been topping the music charts for months.
Listening to their stories of romance and success is so amazing, and I do my best not to show them how envious I feel at times. But I can’t help but wonder why I'm the only one who hasn’t found my own happily ever after.
What’s holding me back?
The bell rings, making both the children and I spring to life. While they hurriedly collect their books and bags, I start throwing my things into my purse hoping the kids will rush out as quickly as ever.
Ryan, however, sidles up to me. I noticed earlier that he has a new backpack and the lunch he brought today was carefully packed for him and surprisingly nutritious rather than the typical Chinese takeout he usually brings.
“What’s up?” I say, forcing myself to slow down and focus only on the little boy standing in front of me. If anyone deserves my attention over girls’ night, it’s this kid right here.
“I just wanted to say hi,” he says with a smile.
“Oh, yeah. Is that it?” I ask, recognizing the shy look on his face as one very similar to his uncle’s.
I know Jake thinks Ryan is the spitting image of Jenny, but I see a lot of the football star in the kid too, especially in those dark brown eyes they share. They both have the kind of eyes that can get them anything.
He nods, taking a few steps before resting an elbow on the corner of my desk. “Oh, I'm supposed to tell you that we got new furniture in our house.”
I have a feeling he was supposed to leave out that he was told to drop this hint to me, but I smile all the same.
“What kind of furniture?” I ask, biting back a groan.
Of course Jake would go on a wild shopping spree to heal from my rejection.
“He got me a new bed and a big bookcase.” Ryan extends his arms wildly to his side to embellish his point, babbling excitedly now. “And tons of books just for me! And a globe! Uncle Jake lets me pick out places on it and we look them up on his phone.”
“Wow,” I say softly.
It actually sounds like Jake is putting in some serious effort to make his bachelor pad a kid-friendly zone. It’s touching.
Ryan nods. “It’s all really cool! Uncle Jake got a bunch of catalogs and we circled things we want. And we’re going to paint my room together, all black and white like a soccer ball.”
“That’s great!” I set down my things, trying to soak in what the six-year-old is saying.
Was Jake really taking initiative without me there to push him into it?
“Will you come to see it soon?” he asks with a hopeful smile, blinking those sweet little eyes.
“Did Jake tell you to ask me that, too?” I tease.
Ryan laughs and shakes his head. “No. But we got new stuff in the kitchen and I think you’d really like that too since you like cooking.”
“I bet I would.”
“Oh!” Ryan gives a little gasp and clutches his new superhero lunchbox to his chest. “Uncle Jake’s probably here. I’ve got to go!”
I wave and watch him leave, snagging my own bag. I can hardly believe what I'm hearing. Is Jake really picking up his nephew by himself?
I poke my head out of the doorway just in time to catch a red BMW leaving the parking lot. The license plate reads; HARTBKR
Had I left a few minutes earlier, I may have come across him myself. My heart thumps in my chest, but I shake my head to clear my pangs of longing.
The faster I get to girls’ night, the faster I can spill this whole situation to my friends and get some honest feedback. I want to believe Jake is doing all the right things and making all the right changes, but it seems too good to be true.
The entire time I make my way to the bar where my former roomies are waiting, I feel as though my head is in the clouds. I can’t get my conversation with Ryan out of my head. My heart is so conflicted. I don’t know whether I can trust it or if The Hartbreak Kid is playing me.
When I arrive at the girls’ night destination, Chloe and Morgan are already seated at our usual table. I push through the crowd to join them, p
leased to find a pink cosmo already waiting for me. I take a small sip of it and grin at my friends.
They stare back at me, completely silent, and when I just look back at them in confusion Morgan lightly jabs my ribs. “Spill! We’re dying to know about you and the football star!”
Chloe nods, leaning forward across the table. “Tell. Us. Everything! I feel like I’ve been so out of the loop since Donovan and I have been gone so much!”
I gnaw at my lip. I’ve been waiting to be able to hash all this out with my best friends, but now that they’re here I don’t know what to say. “I don’t even know where to begin . . . Actually, I guess there isn’t really much to tell now, because I told him that he and I need to keep things strictly professional.”
“Seriously?” Morgan gasps. When I nod she throws in a quick, “Good for you.”
Chloe murmurs her agreement and lifts her drink toward me proudly. “So he’s out of your life then?”
I frown, pushing away my glass. “You two are total romantics. Are you honestly saying you’re happy I didn't pursue him harder?”
“He’s a player, Stacy,” Chloe says softly. “I mean, isn’t that his reputation? You’re right to be cautious.”
“He’s The Hartbreak Kid,” Morgan adds with a knowing nod.
“You two aren’t helping me figure this out at all! I thought you’d be able to give me some better perspective. I really like this guy but we’ve got so much going against us. His fame, Ryan being my student, my job being on the line if we’re found out.”
“Exactly!” Chloe replies.
“If there are this many hurdles, then maybe it’s just not right,” Morgan says, laying her hand on mine.
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